Ethics of speech communication and etiquette formulas of speech. The concept of speech etiquette. Etiquette speech formulas

Ethics speech communication begins with the observance of the conditions for successful verbal communication: with a benevolent attitude towards the addressee, demonstrating interest in the conversation, “understanding understanding” - attunement to the world of the interlocutor, sincere expression of one’s opinion, sympathetic attention. This prescribes to express one's thoughts in a clear form, focusing on the world of knowledge of the addressee. In the idle speech spheres of communication in dialogues and polylogues of an intellectual, as well as "playful" or emotional nature, the choice of the topic and tone of the conversation is of particular importance. Signals of attention, participation, correct interpretation and sympathy are not only regulatory replicas, but also paralinguistic means - facial expressions, smile, gaze, gestures, posture. A special role in the conduct of a conversation belongs to the look.

Thus, speech ethics are the rules of proper speech behavior based on moral norms, national and cultural traditions.

Ethical norms are embodied in special etiquette speech formulas and are expressed in statements by a whole ensemble of multi-level means: both full-significant word forms and words of non-full-significant parts of speech (particles, interjections).

Main ethical principle speech communication - the observance of parity - finds its expression, starting with a greeting and ending with a farewell throughout the conversation.

1. Greeting. Appeal.

Greetings and salutations set the tone for the entire conversation. Depending on social role interlocutors, their degree of closeness, you-communication or you-communication are selected and, accordingly, greetings hello or hello, good afternoon (evening, morning), hello, salute, welcome, etc. The situation of communication also plays an important role.

The appeal performs a contact-establishing function, is a means of intimization, therefore, throughout the entire speech situation, the appeal should be pronounced repeatedly; this indicates both good feelings for the interlocutor, and attention to his words. In phatic communication, in the speech of close people, in conversations with children, the address is often accompanied or replaced by paraphrases, epithets with diminutive suffixes: Anya, you are my bunny; dear; kitty; killer swallows, etc. This is especially true for the speech of women and people of a special warehouse, as well as for emotional speech.

National and cultural traditions prescribe certain forms of addressing strangers. If at the beginning of the century the universal methods of address were a citizen and a citizen, then in the second half of the 20th century dialectal southern forms of address based on gender - a woman, a man - became widespread. IN Lately often in casual colloquial speech, when referring to an unfamiliar woman, the word lady is used, however, when referring to a man, the word master is used only in an official, semi-official, club setting. The development of an equally acceptable appeal to a man and a woman is a matter for the future: sociocultural norms will have their say here.

2. Label formulas.

Each language has fixed ways, expressions of the most frequent and socially significant communicative intentions. So, when expressing a request for forgiveness, an apology, it is customary to use a direct, literal form, for example, Sorry (those), Forgive (those).

When expressing a request, it is customary to represent one's "interests" in an indirect, non-literal statement, softening the expression of one's interest and leaving the addressee the right to choose an act; for example: Could you go to the store now?; Are you going to the store now? When asked how to get through ..? Where is..? you should also preface your question with a request. Could you tell me?; You will not say..?

There are etiquette formulas for congratulations: immediately after the appeal, a reason is indicated, then wishes, then assurances of the sincerity of feelings, a signature. The oral forms of some genres of colloquial speech also largely bear the stamp of ritualization, which is determined not only by speech canons, but also by the “rules” of life, which takes place in a multifaceted, human “dimension”. This applies to such ritualized genres as toasts, thanks, condolences, congratulations, invitations.

Etiquette formulas, phrases for the occasion are an important part of communicative competence; knowledge of them is an indicator of a high degree of language proficiency.

3. Euphemization of speech.

Maintaining a cultural atmosphere of communication, the desire not to upset the interlocutor, not to offend him indirectly, not. cause an uncomfortable state - all this obliges the speaker, firstly, to choose euphemistic nominations, and secondly, a softening, euphemistic way of expression.

Historically, the language system has developed ways of periphrastic nomination of everything that offends taste and violates cultural stereotypes of communication. These are periphrases regarding death, sexual relations, physiological functions; for example: he left us, died, passed away; the title of Shahetjanyan's book "1001 questions about it" about intimate relationships.

Mitigating methods of conducting a conversation are also indirect information, allusions, hints that make the addressee understand the true reasons for such a form of expression. In addition, mitigation of refusal or reprimand can be realized by the “change of addressee” technique, in which a hint is made or the speech situation is projected onto a third participant in the conversation. In the traditions of Russian speech etiquette, it is forbidden to speak about those present in the third person (he, she, they), thus, all those present find themselves in one “observable” deictic space of the speech situation “I - YOU (YOU) - HERE - NOW”. This shows respect for all participants in the conversation.

4. Interruption.

Counter remarks. Polite behavior in verbal communication prescribes listening to the interlocutor's remarks to the end. but high degree the emotionality of the participants in communication, the demonstration of their solidarity, consent, the introduction of their assessments "in the course" of the partner's speech - an ordinary phenomenon of dialogues and polylogues of idle speech genres, stories and stories-memories. According to the observations of researchers, interruptions are typical for men, more correct in a woman's conversation. In addition, interrupting the interlocutor is a signal of a non-cooperative strategy. This kind of interruption occurs when the communicative interest is lost.

Cultural and social norms of life, the subtleties of psychological relations require the speaker and the listener to actively create a benevolent atmosphere of verbal communication, which provides successful solution all questions and leads to agreement.

5. V Y-communication and T Y-communication. In Russian, YOU-communication in informal speech is widespread. A superficial acquaintance in some cases and a distant, long-term relationship of old acquaintances in others is shown by the use of the polite "you."

In addition, YOU-communication indicates respect for the participants in the dialogue; so, you-communication is typical for old, girlfriends, who have deep feelings of respect and devotion for each other. More often you-communication with a long acquaintance or friendship is observed among women. Men of different social strata "are more likely to engage in You-communication. Among uneducated and uncultured men, You-communication is considered the only acceptable form of social interaction. With the established relationship of You-communication, they attempt to deliberately reduce the social self-esteem of the addressee and impose You-communication. This is destructive an element of verbal communication that destroys communicative contact.

It is generally accepted that You-communication is always a manifestation of spiritual harmony and spiritual closeness, and that the transition to You-communication is an attempt to intimize relations; cf. Pushkin's lines: "Empty you are heartfelt You, by saying a word, replaced ...". However, during You-communication, the feeling of the uniqueness of the individual and the phenomenality of interpersonal relationships is often lost. Wed in the "Chrestomathy" correspondence of Yu. M. Lotman and B. F. Egorov.

Parity relations as the main component of communication do not cancel the possibility of choosing You-communication and You-communication depending on the nuances of social roles and psychological distances.

The same participants in communication in different situations can use the pronouns “you” and “you” in an informal setting. This may indicate alienation, a desire to introduce elements of ritual address into the speech situation (cf .: And you, Vitaly Ivanovich, would you like to put a salad?).

test questions

1. What is the main ethical principle of verbal communication?

2. What functions does the appeal perform?

3. What etiquette formulas are used when making a request? ,

What role do euphemisms play?

5. What methods of indirect informing do you know?

6. What is the specificity of YOU-communication and YOU-communication in Russian?

7. How to create a cultural atmosphere of dialogue?

Summary

Among the functional varieties of language, colloquial speech occupies a special place. Colloquial is such a speech of native speakers of the literary language, which is realized spontaneously (without any preliminary consideration) in an informal setting with the direct participation of communication partners. Spoken language has significant features at all language levels, and therefore it is often considered as a special language system. Since the linguistic features of colloquial speech are not fixed in grammars and dictionaries, it is called non-codified, thus opposing the codified functional varieties of the language. It is important to emphasize that colloquial speech is a special functional variety of the literary language (and not some kind of non-literary form). It is wrong to think that the linguistic features of colloquial speech are speech errors which should be avoided. This implies an important requirement for the culture of speech: in the conditions of the manifestation of colloquial speech, one should not strive to speak in writing, although it must be remembered that in colloquial speech there may be speech errors, they must be distinguished from colloquial features.

The functional variety of the language "colloquial speech" has historically developed under the influence of the rules of linguistic behavior of people in various life situations, i.e. under the influence of the conditions of communicative interaction between people. All the nuances of the phenomenon of human consciousness find their expression in the genres of speech, in the ways of its organization. The speaking person always declares himself as a person, and only in this case it is possible to establish contact with other people.

Successful verbal communication is the implementation of the communicative goal of the initiators of communication and the achievement of agreement by the interlocutors. The prerequisites for successful communication are the interest of the interlocutors in communication, attunement to the world of the addressee, the ability to penetrate into the communicative intent of the speaker, the ability of the interlocutors to fulfill the strict requirements of situational speech behavior, to unravel the “creative handwriting” of the speaker when reflecting the real state of affairs or “pictures of the world” the ability to predict “vector » dialogue or polylogue. Therefore, the central concept of the success of verbal communication is the concept of linguistic competence, which involves knowledge of the rules of grammar and vocabulary, the ability to express meaning in all possible ways, knowledge of sociocultural norms and stereotypes of speech behavior, which allows you to correlate the relevance of a particular linguistic fact with the speaker's intention and, finally, makes it possible to express one's own understanding and individual presentation of information.

The reasons for communication failures are rooted in ignorance of language norms, in the difference in the background knowledge of the speaker and listener, in the difference in their sociocultural stereotypes and psychology, and also in the presence of "external interference" (an alien communication environment, the distance of the interlocutors, the presence of outsiders).

The communicative goals of the interlocutors determine the speech strategies, tactics, modality and methods of conducting a dialogue. The components of speech behavior include expressiveness and emotiveness of statements.

Techniques of speech expressiveness are the basis of techniques fiction and oratory; cf. techniques: anaphora, antithesis, hyperbole, litotes; chains of synonyms, gradations, repetitions, epithets, unanswered questions, questions of self-verification, metaphors, metonymy, allegory, allusions, allusions, paraphrases, redirection to a third party; such means of expressing subjective authorial modality as introductory words and suggestions.

Conversational speech has its own aesthetic atmosphere, which is due to the deep processes that connect a person with society and culture.

Historically, relatively stable forms of speech communication have developed - genres. All genres are subject to the rules of speech ethics and language canons. The ethics of speech communication requires the speaker and the listener to create a benevolent tone of the conversation, which leads to agreement and success in the dialogue.

The basis of speech etiquette is speech formulas, the nature of which depends on the characteristics of communication.

Any act of communication has a beginning, main part and final. In this regard, the speech etiquette formulas are divided into three main groups: 1) speech formulas related to the beginning of communication; 2) speech formulas used at the end of communication; 3) speech formulas characteristic of the main part of communication.

1. Start of communication. If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with an acquaintance. In this case, it can occur directly and indirectly. According to the rules of good manners, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and introduce yourself. However, there are times when this needs to be done. Etiquette prescribes the following formulas:

– Allow (those) to get to know you (with you).

– I would like to get to know you (you).

– Let me (those) get to know you (you).

– Let's get acquainted.

When visiting an institution, office, office, when there is a conversation with an official and it is necessary for him to introduce himself, the following formulas are used:

– Let me introduce myself.

– My surname is Kolesnikov.

– Anastasia Igorevna.

Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with a greeting. In Russian, the main greetings – Hello. Along with this form, a greeting indicating the time of the meeting is common: Good morning!; Good afternoon!; Good evening! In addition to common greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, desire for communication: (I am very glad to see you!; Welcome!; My regards.

2. End of communication. When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use the formulas for parting, ending communication. They wish (All the best (good) to you! Goodbye!); hope for a new meeting (Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday). I hope we part for a short time. I hope to see you soon); doubt about the possibility of meeting again (Farewell! It is unlikely that we will be able to meet again. Do not remember dashingly).

3. After the greeting, a business conversation usually begins. Speech etiquette provides for several beginnings that are situational. Three situations are most typical: 1) solemn; 2) mournful; 3) working, business.

The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees; receiving awards; opening an office, shop; presentation; conclusion of an agreement, contract, etc.

On any solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory clichés change.

Invitation: Allow (allow) to invite you ...;

Come to the holiday (anniversary, meeting ...), we will be glad to see you",

Congratulation: Please accept my (most) cordial (warm, hot, sincere) congratulations ...; On behalf of (on behalf of) ... congratulations ...; Warmly (warmly) congratulations ...

A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, official. Formulas condolences, as a rule, are stylistically elevated, emotionally colored: Allow (allow) to express (to you) my deep (sincere) condolences. I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept my) deep (sincere) condolences. I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).

The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In a daily business environment (business, work situation), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summing up the results of work, when determining the results of selling goods or participating in exhibitions, when organizing various events, meetings, it becomes necessary to thank someone or, conversely, to reprimand, to make a remark. In any job, in any organization, someone may need to give advice, make a suggestion, make a request, express consent, allow, prohibit, refuse someone.

Let's bring speech cliches that are used in these situations.

Acknowledgment: Allow (permit) to express (great, huge) gratitude to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (perfectly) organized exhibition; The firm (management, administration) expresses its gratitude to all employees for…

Note, warning: The firm (management, board, editorial office) is forced to issue a (serious) warning (remark) ...; To (great) regret (chagrin), I must (forced) to make a remark (to reprimand) ...

Often people, especially those endowed with power, consider it necessary to express their proposals, advice in a categorical form; All (you) are obliged (should) ...; I categorically (persistently) advise (propose) to do ...

Advice, suggestions expressed in this form are similar to an order or order and do not always give rise to a desire to follow them, especially if the conversation takes place between colleagues of the same rank.

The request should be delicate, extremely polite, but without excessive fawning: Do me a favor, fulfill (my) request…; Do not take it for work, please take ...

Consent, permission is formulated as follows:

– (Now, immediately) will be done (done).

– I agree, do (do) as you think.

In case of failure, the following expressions are used:

– (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (permit, assist).

– I'm sorry, but we (I) cannot (can) fulfill your request.

– I have to forbid (refuse, do not allow).

An important component of speech etiquette is compliment. Tactfully and timely said, he cheers up the addressee, sets him up for positive attitude to the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment is dangerous, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment.

The compliment refers to the appearance, indicates the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives an overall positive assessment:

– You look good (excellent, fine, excellent, great, young).

– You are (so, very) charming (smart, quick-witted, resourceful, reasonable, practical).

– You are a good (excellent, excellent, excellent specialist (economist, manager, entrepreneur, companion).

- FROM you are pleased (good, excellent) to deal (work, cooperate).

The basis of speech etiquette is speech formulas, the nature of which depends on the characteristics of communication.

Any act of communication has a beginning, main part and final. Due to this speech etiquette formulas are divided into three main groups:

1) speech formulas related to the beginning of communication;

2) speech formulas used at the end of communication;

3) speech formulas characteristic of the main part of communication. Let's take a look at what each group is.

1. The beginning of communication. If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with acquaintance. In this case, it can occur directly and indirectly. According to the rules of good manners, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and introduce yourself. However, there are times when this needs to be done. Etiquette prescribes the following formulas:

– Allow (those) to get to know you (with you).

- I would like to meet you (you).

- Let (those) get to know you (with you).

- Let's get acquainted.

When visiting an institution, office, office, when there is a conversation with an official and it is necessary for him to introduce himself, the following formulas are used:

– Let me introduce myself.

– My surname is Kolesnikov.

- Anastasia Igorevna.

Formal and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with greetings. In Russian, the main greeting is Hello. It goes back to the Old Slavonic verb hello, what does it mean to be healthy, i.e. healthy. Along with this form, a greeting indicating the time of the meeting is common: Good morning!; Good afternoon!; Good evening!

In addition to common greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, desire for communication: (I am very glad to see you!; Welcome!; My regards.

2. End of communication. When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use formulas breakups, breakups communication. They wish (All the best (good) to you! Goodbye!); hope for a new meeting (Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday). I hope we part for a short time. I hope to see you soon); doubt about the possibility of meeting again (Farewell! It is unlikely that we will be able to meet again. Do not remember dashingly).

3. After the greeting, a business conversation usually begins.

Speech etiquette provides several beginnings that are situational. Most typical three situations: 1) solemn; 2) mournful; 3) working, business.

The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees; receiving awards; opening an office, shop; presentation; conclusion of an agreement, contract, etc.

On any solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory clichés change.

Invitation:Allow (allow) to invite you ...;

Come to the holiday (anniversary, meeting ...), we will be glad to see you",

Congratulation:Please accept my (most) cordial (warm, hot, sincere) congratulations ...; On behalf of (on behalf of) ... congratulations ...; Warmly (warmly) congratulations ...

A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, grief.

In this case, it is expressed condolence. It should not be dry, official. Condolence formulas tend to be stylistically elevated, emotionally colored: Allow (allow) to express (to you) my deep (sincere) condolences. I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept my) deep (sincere) condolences. I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune).

The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

Let's give speech clichés that are used in these situations.

Acknowledgment:Allow (permit) to express (great, huge) gratitude to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (perfectly) organized exhibition; The firm (management, administration) expresses its gratitude to all employees for…

Note, warning:The firm (management, board, editorial office) is forced to issue a (serious) warning (remark) ...; To (great) regret (chagrin), I must (forced) to make a remark (to reprimand) ...

Often people, especially those in positions of power, find it necessary to express their suggestions, advice in a categorical way; All (you) are obliged (should) ...; I categorically (persistently) advise (propose) to do ...

Handling request should be delicate, extremely polite, but without excessive fawning: Do me a favor, fulfill (my) request…; Do not take it for work, please take ...

consent, permission is formulated as follows:

– (Now, immediately) will be done (done).

- I agree, do (do) as you think.

In case of refusal expressions are used:

– (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (permit, assist).

- I'm sorry, but we (I) cannot (can) fulfill your request.

- I have to forbid (refuse, do not allow).

An important component of speech etiquette is compliment. Tactfully and timely said, it cheers up the addressee, sets him up for a positive attitude towards the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment is dangerous, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment.

The compliment refers to the appearance, indicates the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives an overall positive assessment:

– You look good (excellent, fine, excellent, great, young).

- You are (so, very) charming (smart, quick-witted, resourceful, reasonable, practical).

– You are a good (excellent, excellent, excellent specialist (economist, manager, entrepreneur, companion).

- FROM you are pleased (good, excellent) to deal (work, cooperate).

The ethics of verbal communication begins with the observance of the conditions for successful verbal communication: with a benevolent attitude towards the addressee, demonstrating interest in the conversation, “understanding understanding” - attunement to the world of the interlocutor, sincere expression of one’s opinion, sympathetic attention. This prescribes to express one's thoughts in a clear form, focusing on the world of knowledge of the addressee. In the idle speech spheres of communication in dialogues and polylogues of an intellectual, as well as "playful" or emotional nature, the choice of the topic and tone of the conversation is of particular importance. Signals of attention, participation, correct interpretation and sympathy are not only regulatory replicas, but also paralinguistic means - facial expressions, smile, gaze, gestures, posture. A special role in the conduct of a conversation belongs to the look.

Thus, speech ethics are the rules of proper speech behavior based on moral norms, national and cultural traditions.

The main ethical principle of speech communication - respect for parity - finds its expression, starting with a greeting and ending with a farewell, throughout the conversation.

1. Greeting. Appeal.

Greetings and salutations set the tone for the entire conversation. Depending on the social role of the interlocutors, the degree of their closeness, you-communication or you-communication are selected and, accordingly, greetings Hi or hello, good afternoon (evening, morning), hello, salute, welcome etc. Communication also plays an important role.

The appeal performs a contact-establishing function, is a means of intimization, therefore, throughout the entire speech situation, the appeal should be pronounced repeatedly; this indicates both good feelings for the interlocutor, and attention to his words. In phatic communication, in the speech of close people, in conversations with children, the address is often accompanied or replaced by paraphrases, epithets with diminutive suffixes: Anechka, you are my bunny; dear; kitty; killer swallows etc. This is especially true for the speech of women and people of a special warehouse, as well as for emotional speech.

National and cultural traditions prescribe certain forms of addressing strangers. If at the beginning of the century the universal methods of address were citizen And citizen,

then in the second half of the 20th century, dialectal southern forms of address based on gender became widespread - woman man. Recently, often in casual colloquial speech, when referring to an unfamiliar woman, the word is used lady, however, when referring to a man, the word mister used only in formal, semi-formal, club settings. The development of an equally acceptable appeal to a man and a woman is a matter for the future: sociocultural norms will have their say here.

2. Label formulas. Each language has fixed ways of expressing the most frequent and socially significant communicative intentions. So, when expressing a request for forgiveness, an apology, it is customary to use a direct, literal form, for example, Sorry). When expressing a request, it is customary to represent one's "interests" in an indirect, non-literal statement, softening the expression of one's interest and leaving the addressee the right to choose an act; for example: Could you go to the store now?; Are you going to the store now? When asked How to get..? Where is..? you should also preface your question with a request Could you tell?; You will not say..?.

There are etiquette formulas for congratulations: immediately after the appeal, a reason is indicated, then wishes, then assurances of the sincerity of feelings, a signature. The oral forms of some genres of colloquial speech also largely bear the stamp of ritualization, which is determined not only by speech canons, but also by the "rules" of life, which takes place in a multifaceted human "dimension". This applies to such ritualized genres as toasts, thanks, condolences, congratulations, invitations.

Etiquette formulas, phrases for the occasion are an important part of communicative competence; knowledge of them is an indicator of a high degree of language proficiency.

3. Euphemization of speech. Maintaining the cultural atmosphere of communication, the desire not to upset the interlocutor, not to offend him indirectly, not to cause an uncomfortable state - all this obliges the speaker, firstly, to choose euphemistic nominations, and secondly, a softening, euphemistic way of expression.

Historically, the language system has developed ways of periphrastic nomination of everything that offends taste and violates cultural ones; communication stereotypes. This is a paraphrase regarding death, sexual relations, physiological functions; for example": he left us, passed away, passed away; title of Shahetjanyan's book 1001 questions about it about intimate relationships.

by the method of “change of addressee”, in which a hint is made or a speech situation is projected onto a third participant in the conversation.

In the traditions of Russian speech etiquette, it is forbidden to talk about those present in the third person (he she They) Thus, all those present find themselves in one "observable" deictic space of the speech situation "I - YOU (YOU) - HERE - NOW". This shows respect for all participants in the conversation.

4. Interruption. Counter remarks. Polite behavior in verbal communication prescribes listening to the interlocutor's remarks to the end. However, the high degree of emotionality of the participants in communication, the demonstration of their solidarity, consent, the introduction of their assessments "in the course" of the partner's speech is an ordinary phenomenon of dialogues and polylogues of idle speech genres, stories and stories-memories. According to the observations of researchers, interruptions are typical for men, more correct in a woman's conversation. In addition, interrupting the interlocutor is a signal of a non-cooperative strategy. This kind of interruption occurs when the communicative interest is lost.

Cultural and social norms of life, the subtleties of psychological relations require the speaker and the listener to actively create a benevolent atmosphere of verbal communication, which ensures the successful resolution of all issues and leads to agreement.

5. YOU-communication and YOU-communication. In Russian, YOU-communication in informal speech is widespread. A superficial acquaintance in some cases and a distant long-term relationship of old acquaintances in others is shown by the use of the polite "You". In addition, YOU-communication indicates respect for the participants in the dialogue; so, you-communication is typical for old friends who have deep feelings of respect and devotion for each other. More often you-communication with a long acquaintance or friendship is observed among women. Men of different social strata are more likely to communicate with you. Among uneducated and uncultured men, You communication is considered the only acceptable form of social interaction. With the established relationship of You-communication, they attempt to deliberately reduce the social self-esteem of the addressee and impose You-communication. This is a destructive element of verbal communication that destroys communicative contact.

It is generally accepted that You-communication is always a manifestation of spiritual harmony and spiritual closeness, and that the transition to You-communication is an attempt to intimize relations; cf. Pushkin's lines: "Empty you are heartfelt You, she, having said a word, replaced ...". However, during You-communication, the feeling of the uniqueness of the individual and the phenomenality of interpersonal relationships is often lost. Wed in the "Anthology" correspondence Yu.M. Lotman and B.F. Egorova.

The same participants in communication in different situations can use the pronouns "you" and "you" in an informal setting. This may indicate alienation, a desire to introduce elements of ritual address into the speech situation (cf.: And you, Vitaly Ivanovich, do not put a salad?).

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Oratory is heterogeneous in its composition, since in the process of thinking it is natural for a person to reflect various objectively existing connections between the phenomena of reality, between objects,

The structure of oratory
Integrity public speaking lies in the unity of its theme - the main idea of the speech, the main problem posed - in it - and semantic parts of different structure and length. Speech impact

Speech preparation and presentation
Do I need to prepare for public speaking? Undoubtedly. However, it may be different. Thus, a rally speech is usually short - 5-10 minutes or a little more, and it can be delivered after

Controversy in Ancient Greece
The emergence of dialectics as a doctrine of development and its laws is due to the solution of the applied problem of establishing laws that are revealed in the mutual exchange of opposing opinions,

Disputes in modern society
Today, in the context of lively discussions, disputes, polemics, primarily on socio-political issues, there is a lack of a culture of dialogue in the broad sense, which means the inability to argue

Dispute as a form of organization of human communication
When conducting disputes, discussions, an important component of both argumentative and argumentative-evaluating activities of the argumentator and opponent is to take into account the possibility of a variety of interpretations.

Tricks in the dispute
It must be admitted that a dispute in its ideal form is not often observed in life1. More common are disputes in which the participants do not understand (or do not want to understand) each other without listening

The Argumentator's Code
I. 1. The argumentator seeks to achieve or spread the truth, to deepen the understanding of the subject. 2. The argumentator considers himself and his opponent as people who have equal rights freely

Opponent Code
I. 1. The opponent realizes himself free in internal evaluation argumentation. 2. The opponent strives to achieve the truth, deepen the understanding of the subject, spread the truth. 3. When

Basic linguistic features of a special language
1. A special language is a natural language with elements of artificial languages, more precisely, specialized artificial languages or symbolic languages of science (languages of mathematics, logic, linguistics,

Means of expressing special realities, categories, concepts
The set of means of expression in the field of special vocabulary is so diverse that it cannot be represented solely by linguistic units. However, it is based on verbal means (layer

Style and genre features of the scientific style
The systemic nature of the main functional style consists of general linguistic (neutral) elements, linguistic-list elements (stylistically colored outside the context of linguistic units) and element

Norm in terminology
Terms are the semantic core of a special language and convey the main content information. In the modern world, as a result of the growth of scientific and technical knowledge, more than 90% of new words,

Unification, standardization, codification of terms. The concept of harmonization of terms and term systems
All of the listed normative requirements for terms are an important starting point for the work on streamlining terminology. Terminological work has several

General characteristics of the official business style
Business style is a combination language tools, whose function is to serve the sphere of official business relations, i.e. relations arising between state bodies, between organizations

Text norms of business style
In one way or another, all of us, more or less often, face in our life practice the need to submit an application, draw up a power of attorney, etc. But at the same time, every time we, as a rule, come across

Language norms: drafting the text of the document
The typical construction of an official business text acts as a frame in which the writer makes the text of the document concretized - its linguistic content (the scope of language norms), moreover

Dynamics of the norm of official business speech
So, business speech is, in essence, a set of standards writing required in official business relations. These standards include both forms of documentation (set, sequence

Oral business speech: business telephone conversation
A feature of the official business style, which sharply distinguishes it from other varieties of the literary language, is, as already mentioned, the written nature of its implementation; how could you be sure

General characteristics of the media
Mass media are divided into visual (periodical press), audio (radio), audiovisual (television, documentary

Information field and information norm in the media
The main purpose of discourse in the media, including in the periodical press, is the transmission (or retransmission) of various types of information. There are numerous definitions of the concept

Pragmatics and rhetoric of discourse in periodicals. The scope of the subject and the expression of evaluation
Pragmatics - in the broad sense of the term - covers the whole complex of phenomena and factors that determine them, related to the interaction of the subject and the addressee in different situations.

Means of speech expressiveness
Rhetorical enhancement of speech, for example, through the use of tropes and figures, is one of the most important stylistic devices and at the same time a means of raising the aesthetic level of the text. In the book "R

Paranthesis is an independent, intonationally and graphically highlighted statement inserted into the main text and having
the meaning of an additional message, clarification, or author's assessment, for example: “In the United States, 4,000 people die every year from salmonella (this is not night blindness!) And about 5 million people get sick

Parceling - in a written text, a dot separation of one or more last words of an utterance to attract
the reader’s attention to them and giving them a new sound, for example: “The process has begun. Back?" (KP. 1993). Epiphrase, or attachment, is an additional, clarifying sentence

OK. Graudina, E.I. Shiryaev
I. Introductory chapter. Brief information from the history of the study of speech culture. The Influence of Ancient and European Traditions on Ideas about the Qualities and Properties of Perfect Speech: Generality

Polylogues Non-Directional Strategy Conversations
The subsection opens with a recording of a conversation, which is a kind of idle speech genres (phatic communication). This is a kind of conversations with many participants, polylogues, in which participants

Dialogues
Situationally conditioned dialogues show that, regardless of the socio-role and psychological relations of the participants in communication, the familiarity of many circumstances makes it a natural phenomenon

Memory story
A characteristic feature of the genre of the story is the communicative intention, which, as a rule, is information on a specific topic. This is monologue speech within a polylogue (or dialogue). Story from

Letters, notes, congratulations
This section opens with the correspondence between M. Yudina and B. Pasternak: B. Pasternak's precise, warm, humanly capacious phrases and M. Yudina's extremely sincere, emotional, meaningfully detailed speech.

Diary entries
The subsection opens with A. Akhmatova's diary notes, which are creative reflections, reflections on the progress of work on poems. Diary of M.S. Voloshina, widow of the poet Maximilian Volo

oratorical speech
Character traits oratorical style is determined by the features of its specific incarnations and existence. First of all, oratory is one of the types of public live speech. As a mandatory

Socio-political speech
The subsection opens with a speech by Academician D.S. Likhachev at the Congress of People's Deputies of the USSR in 1989 Dmitry Sergeevich Likhachev - literary critic, textologist, since 1970 - full member of the Academy

court speech
Judicial monologue speech stands out among other genres of public speech in a number of ways. First of all, it is constrained by a network of legal and regulatory restrictions due to narrow professionalism.

Spiritual (church-theological) speech
In the classification of genera and types of oratory, a special place belongs to spiritual eloquence, as the art of public speech has been called in everyday life of church theological life since ancient times. This genus

Discussive-polemical speech
Among the various forms of human speech activity, dispute occupies a special place. There are disputes scientific, political, legal, everyday, etc. To achieve the goals of the reader as a

Scientific style of speech
Scientific style is one of the functional styles of the general literary language, serving the sphere of science and production. The specific features of this style are due to the purpose of scientific texts.

Fashion for foreign words
The Westernizing tendencies of the Petrine era are expressed not only in the borrowing of many words to designate new objects, processes, concepts in the sphere of public life, everyday life and technology, but also

Instead of a conclusion
The history of culture stands out sharply in the general historical development of mankind. It constitutes a special, red thread in the retinue of the many threads of world history. In contrast to the general movement "civil

Fatalist" and the problem of East and West in the works of Lermontov
The problem of the typology of cultures absorbed a whole range of ideas and ideas that worried Lermontov throughout his entire work: the problems of the individual and her freedom, unlimited will and power

About Khlestakov
One of the main features of Russian culture of the post-Petrine era was a kind of duality: the ideal way of life, in principle, should not have coincided with reality. Relations between the world of texts and m

Formulation of the problem
Thesis. The principle of ethnogenesis is the fading of the impulse due to entropy2, or, which is the same, the loss of the passionarity of the system due to resistance environment, ethnic and natural

Statement of the problem and definition of speech genres
All diverse areas of human activity are associated with the use of language. It is quite clear that the nature and forms of this use are as diverse as the areas of human activity.

The Christian Solution to the Problem of Freedom
Modern Christianity cannot but take under its protection the autonomy of the individual and the freedom of arbitrariness in all its fullness. The Christian solution, of course, rises above the thesis and antithesis, but so, h

B.P. Vysheslavtsev
The Conflict of Values and the Alternative of Free Choice

Official business speech
The reader will find a sufficiently detailed description of official business speech in the corresponding chapter of the textbook on the culture of Russian speech. In the same section of the anthology, typical samples are presented for

Power of attorney
I, Nesterov Ivan Danilovich, due to illness, trust my brother Nesterov Nikolai Danilovich to receive at the Donetsk Refrigerator Plant the wages due to me and the bonus for September 19

Statement
I ask the State Notary Office, on the basis of the Law of the RSFSR "On the State Notaries", to transfer to citizens Bragin Yuri Semenovich and Evdokimenko Nikolai Ivanovich, residing in the city of Krasn

Statement on the protection of honor and dignity
Tkachuk M.P. is my neighbor. An unfriendly relationship developed between us. I am a member of the Great Patriotic War. I have been issued an appropriate certificate, I have government awards.

reference
Given to the driver of the GAZ-24 car (mode of transport) No. B-42-99 MO Monakhov Alexander Andreevich (surname, name, patronymic) that in a perfect accident that occurred on the street. Razin, 12 (accident site) in

Business (service) letters
“An official letter is a form of official communication between institutions, organizations, enterprises” (Merry P. Service letter // Science and Life, 1971, No. 2, p. 109); "It's a generic name.

About damages
26. 03. 93 Your company shipped bleach by rail. waybill 248 in the amount of 50,000 kg on account No. 86-516, which was paid by us in full. When checking the wagon for border control

memorandum
In accordance with the order of the Deputy Minister of Ferrous Metallurgy of the Ukrainian SSR dated May 20, 82, No. 123, materials were prepared on the work of the plant for the first quarter of this year. For quality performance

Media language
(on the material of the periodical press) Mass media (mass media) are divided into visual (periodicals), audio (radio), audiovisual (television, document

G.P. Fedotov
Russia and Freedom1 Now there is no more painful question than the question of freedom in Russia. Not, of course, in the sense that it exists in the USSR - one can think about this

A.K. Yekhalov
Dear Karsa Mars1 As soon as he arrived in the village, he had not yet had time to drink tea from the road, when a guest was already at the door - a neighbor, aunt Lida Filina. And from the threshold of the claim to the months

M.P. Lyubimov
Operation Golgotha. The Secret Plan for Perestroika1 I was watching TV on that gloomy February evening in 1983. The time was calm then, although it penetrated

From the reports of the intelligence group on the intellectual destabilization of society
As a result of our measures of history Soviet Union put an end to it and the entire development of the country is recognized as a "deviation". An active renaming of streets in Moscow and Leningrad began (the return of

L. Likhodeev
Predator1 This story has been going on for more than ten years. If her heroine had been separated from society in a timely manner, her sentence would have already expired. But that,

V. Voinovich
Carpenter from Kherson1 Or such a story. We are sitting one evening in our kitchen in Moscow, my wife, me and another friend of ours. Known, by the way

An important condition for successful communication is the observance of etiquette - the rules of good manners adopted in a given society and establishing norms for the behavior and communication of people in certain situations. Etiquette is a special language of communication that makes it possible to achieve mutual understanding and mutual respect and success in communication.

Compliance with the elementary rules of etiquette makes life easier, helps to feel comfortable in any situation. Etiquette is a model of communicative behavior. Our whole life is meeting and communicating with people, exchanging information.

In oral communication, as in written form of speech, a prerequisite is the use of certain speech formulas, set expressions and revolutions according to the speech situation.

Ethics of speech communication begins with compliance following conditions successful communication: from a benevolent attitude towards the addressee, demonstrating interest in the conversation, being attuned to the "wave" of the interlocutor, sincere expression of one's opinion, sympathetic attention. In the theory of speech communication, the following qualities are distinguished, which are very important for participants in communication (communicators):

Empathy, i.e. the ability to see the world through the eyes of other people, to understand another person;

Goodwill - the ability not only to sympathize, but also to show one's benevolent attitude, respect and sympathy for other people;

The ability to understand the interlocutor even when you do not approve of his act;

Willingness to support another person;

Immediacy - the ability to speak and act directly;

Authenticity, i.e. the ability to be natural, not hiding behind masks and roles, the ability to be yourself;

Concreteness, rejection of general reasoning, the ability to talk about specific experiences, the willingness to unambiguously answer questions;

Initiative - a tendency to an active active position, as well as the ability to establish contacts on their own initiative;

Openness - the willingness to open up to others inner world, a firm conviction that openness contributes to the establishment of strong relationships with others;

Acceptance of feelings - readiness to accept emotional experiences from a communication partner;

Willingness in case of disagreement of opinions to go to the confrontation, but not with the aim of intimidation, but with the hope of establishing honest relations.

To simplify the tasks of communicants, certain laws have been formulated that make communication more successful. There are two descriptions of the principles of communication, which bear their names after the names of their founders: the principle of cooperation G.P. Grice and the principle of courtesy by J.N. Lich. These principles form the basis of the communication code, the most important criteria of which are the criterion of truth (fidelity to reality) and the criterion of sincerity (fidelity to oneself), and also contribute to the creation of an atmosphere of openness and trust between the participants in communication, which makes it possible to establish contact and mutual understanding, more accurately convey information and avoid conflicts.

Grice's principle of cooperation consists of four maxims (maxim - rule, norm of behavior, principle):

Maxim of the quality of information (do not say what you consider false);

The maxim of quantity, i.e. completeness of information (the statement should not contain more information than required, and less than required);

Maxim of relevance (do not deviate from the topic);

Maxim of manner, or mode of expression (speak clearly, concisely, be organized).

Leach's principle of courtesy includes six maxims:

Maxim of tact, the boundaries of the personal sphere (you cannot touch on topics such as religion, private life, salary, etc.);

Maxim of generosity, non-burdening of the interlocutor (from possible ways expressions should choose the one in which your personal gain is minimized; one should not force the interlocutor to bind himself with promises, oaths, to apologize and repent);

Maxim of approval, positivity (praise the interlocutor more, be positive in your assessments);

Maximum modesty, rejection of praise in your address, realistic self-esteem (tactfully refuse praise in your address; your statements should contain an objective self-esteem);

The maxim of consent is the rejection of the conflict in order to maintain communication and solve problems (one should not stand in opposition to the interlocutor without good reason; one must be able to abandon the conflict in favor of solving a more serious task - maintaining communication);

Maxim of sympathy, benevolence (do not be indifferent, minimize antipathy).

Everyday etiquette is based on the basic qualities accepted all over the world: politeness, tact, naturalness, dignity. All these qualities are expressed through specific speech actions, i.e. through speech etiquette - a system of stereotypical, stable communication formulas.

Thus, speech ethics are the rules of proper speech behavior based on moral norms and taking into account national and cultural traditions.

The main ethical principle of speech communication - the observance of parity (equality) - finds its expression throughout the conversation, starting with greetings and ending with farewell.

Greetings and salutations set the tone for the entire conversation. Depending on the social role of the interlocutors, the degree of their proximity, YOU-appeal or YOU-appeal is chosen and, accordingly, greetings hello or hello, good afternoon (evening, morning), hello, salute, welcome, etc.

Appeal during a conversation performs a contact-establishing function, is a means of intimation, therefore, throughout the entire speech situation, the appeal should be pronounced repeatedly: this indicates both good feelings for the interlocutor and attention to his words.

Each language has fixed ways of expressing the most frequent and socially significant communicative intentions - etiquette formulas. The purpose of their use is so that the communication partner can correctly identify the expression through speech of certain feelings and intentions of the speaker. Etiquette forms of communication include speech formulas of apology, requests, gratitude, agreement or disagreement, greetings, farewells, etc.

The choice of speech formulas depends on the gender, age, social status of the interlocutors.

Hey! Bye! - usually say to a friend, relative; Hello! or Good afternoon!, Goodbye! or All the best! - boss, subordinate, colleagues.

So, when expressing a request, it is customary to represent one’s “interests” in an indirect, non-literal statement, softening the expression of one’s interest and leaving the addressee the right to choose an act, for example: Could you go to the dean’s office now? Or are you not going to the dean's office now?

When asked: How to get through ...? Where is...? - you should also preface your question with a request: Could you say ...? or you won't say...?

There are etiquette formulas for congratulations: immediately after the appeal, a reason is indicated, then wishes, then assurances of the sincerity of feelings and a signature.

Etiquette formulas, phrases for the occasion are an important part of communicative competence; knowledge of them is an indicator of a high degree of language proficiency.

Maintaining a cultural atmosphere of communication, the desire not to upset the interlocutor, not to offend him indirectly, not to cause an uncomfortable state - all this obliges the speaker to choose a softening (euphemistic) way of expression. For example, when speaking about the death of a person, they use, for example, such expressions: “he left us”, “passed away”, “passed away”.

As already noted, the forms of national etiquette are different. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. The Japanese, for example, carefully avoid the words “no”, “I can’t”, “I don’t know”. If a Japanese man, in response to your request or suggestion, says that he should consult with his wife, this means that he thus wants to say “no”. The Chinese, when addressing, put the surname first, and in Western practice, on the contrary, the surname is often put in second place.

In Russian speech etiquette, it is customary to address you with strangers and older people in age and position. There are no established forms of address in Russia now. Therefore, when addressing a stranger, they usually say: Sorry! .. Excuse me! .. Be kind ... According to the traditions of Russian speech etiquette, it is forbidden to talk about those present in the third person (he, she, they).

It is generally accepted that a man greets a woman first, the younger one greets the older one, the lower one greets the higher one. When a man is introduced to a woman, the woman is the first to offer her hand. The same is done by those who are older in age and position.

In Russia, only a married woman kisses her hand. When a man is introduced to a woman, he stands up and bows, the woman does not in such cases. When people of equal status meet, the one who is better brought up is the first to greet. When two familiar couples meet on the street, women first greet, then women with men, then men. When meeting, the following formulas are used: Let me get to know you! .. Let me introduce myself! .. Let's get to know each other! ..

An integral part of communication is a compliment. Timely said, it cheers up, softens conflict situations. The compliment must be sincere, it can refer to the appearance, abilities of the interlocutor, his business qualities: You look great! It's pleasure to work with you! etc. In response to a compliment, you should say: Thank you!

Polite behavior in verbal communication also prescribes listening to the interlocutor's remarks to the end.

However, a high degree of emotionality of the participants in communication, a demonstration of their solidarity, agreement or disagreement, the introduction of their assessments during the speech of a partner is a common phenomenon in dialogues and polylogues. But it should be borne in mind that this kind of interruption of the interlocutor also occurs with the loss of communicative interest.

The ability to comply with ethical norms and rules of speech behavior has always been highly valued in society. “The conversation of a vulgar person is distinguished by the vulgarity of speech. Such a person speaks in hackneyed phrases. He does not know the meanings of borrowed words, he likes to gossip about household affairs. No decent person would want to do business with him. Rejected by good society, he slides into bad society, ”this is a warning to the English gentleman, made in the 19th century, is still relevant today.

Knowledge of the norms of ethics, the ability to follow them in behavior and speech - all this testifies to good manners.
pax. In verbal communication, this refers to the possession of an etiquette culture, the ability to control one's feelings, emotions, control one's will, etc.

The observance of etiquette norms includes the manifestation of such qualities as politeness, commensurate with the situation, attentiveness, goodwill, restraint, tact, not imposing one's own judgments and assessments. These qualities are expressed through specific speech actions. For example, if a person does not need communication at the moment, he must find the correct way to get away from him without offending the interlocutor. Sincerity is not always appropriate in verbal communication, especially in business and with unfamiliar people.

To a large extent, the use of obscene and abusive expressions, inappropriate words, and the manifestation of rudeness harm household and business communication.

Ignorance of the norms of speech etiquette can lead to resentment, to a breakdown in relationships between individuals, colleagues, friends. It is especially important to observe speech etiquette in business communication: ignorance or misunderstanding of the requirements of etiquette will certainly affect relations with colleagues and business partners, and promotion.

Thus, the ethics of verbal communication prescribes the speaker and the listener to create a benevolent tone of the conversation (in a situation of both official and informal communication), which leads to agreement and success in the dialogue.

3. Non-verbal means of communication

Communication and exchange of various kinds of information between people is carried out, as we already know, not only with the help of language (verbal communication), but also with the help of various non-verbal symbols and signs (road signs, traffic lights, signaling
flags, drawings, etc.). Such means of communication are called non-verbal.

Most often, the means of non-verbal communication are called purely reflex, poorly controlled ways of transmitting information about the emotional, physiological state of a person, meaning his gaze, facial expressions, gestures, posture. Psychologists believe that in the process of communication, 55% of the information about what a person is, we receive through non-verbal signals. Each person needs to learn to be fluent in the language of non-verbal communication in order to correctly assess the state and mood of the interlocutor and his reaction to this or that information.

Even the distance that people maintain when communicating can tell a lot. There are four areas of communication:

1) intimate area (from 15 to 46 cm); a person allows only those who are in close emotional contact with him (children, parents, spouses, relatives, close friends) to enter this zone;

2) personal zone (from 46 cm to 1.2 m); at such a distance there is communication at official receptions and friendly parties;

3) social zone (from 1.2 m to 3.6 m); such a distance is maintained with strangers, as well as with those with whom they do not know very well, in business relations;

4) public area (more than 3.6 m); such a distance is usually maintained when communicating with a large group of people, with an audience.

These zones in specific situations of communication may also depend on a number of factors: the nationality of the speakers, their areas of residence (southerner - northerner), temperament, etc. Thus, the Japanese tend to narrow the space, reduce the distance between themselves and the interlocutor when communicating; Americans, on the contrary, are not inclined to negotiate in the intimate zone and believe that Asians are too “fa
milyarny" and excessively "crush". Asians, on the other hand, believe that Americans are "cold and too formal."

Among the main non-verbal elements that accompany verbal communication and influence its effectiveness, one can name facial expressions.

Facial expression is often the main indicator of the speaker's feelings. So, raised eyebrows, wide-open eyes, lowered lips, parted mouth indicate surprise, and lowered eyebrows, squinted eyes, closed lips, clenched teeth express anger. Drawn eyebrows, dull eyes, slightly lowered corners of the lips are signs of sadness, and calm eyes, raised corners of the lips are signs of happiness.

The ability to take the correct posture in a particular situation of communication, especially in public speaking, indicates the professionalism of the speaker. The main semantic content of the posture as a means of communication is an expression of openness, readiness for communication or closeness, unpreparedness for it.

If your interlocutor crosses his legs, arms, or crosses his legs, sits half-turned towards you, or leans back, rubs his chin with his hands, etc., communication will be ineffective; such a person is ready for rivalry, confrontation. A woman sitting cross-legged and shaking her leg is obviously bored. The conversation partner sitting on the edge of the chair is action oriented, such as leaving or signing a contract.

“Open” poses testify to the mood for contact - hands are open with palms up, legs are extended, a person sits, slightly leaning forward, or stands facing you, etc.

An important means of communication is gestures. Understanding the consistency of gestures allows you to more accurately see the position of the interlocutors and how they perceive our performance - with approval or hostility, they are open or closed, self-controlled or bored. For example: hands outstretched forward la-
bottoms up indicate readiness for a frank conversation; hands folded at the mouth, a slight tilt of the body forward indicate a readiness to listen to the interlocutor, dispose to a detailed dialogue; arms crossed on the chest is a gesture of protection, it means that the interlocutor would like to get away from discussing the problem; if a person covers his mouth at the moment of speaking, this indicates that he is telling a lie, and if this gesture is used by the one who is listening, this means: he feels that the interlocutor is lying.

Sometimes a person, without noticing it, automatically covers his face with his hands, rubs his forehead, temples, looks away. Such behavior is perceived as a manifestation of insincerity, lack of frankness and causes distrust of the interlocutor. Self-control gesture - hands are brought together behind the back, and there one hand strongly squeezes the other hand. Hands clenched behind the back testify to confidence and superiority. Active gestures often reflect positive emotions and are understood as a sign of friendliness. Excessive gestures betray anxiety, self-doubt, and can serve as a sign of aggressiveness.

Each person has to act both as a listener and as a speaker. Speaking at a meeting or a seminar, for example, you see that one listener closed his eyes, the second drew his eyebrows and took off his glasses, the third leaned back. What do their actions mean? Are they sleeping, thinking about their own or listening?

If your interlocutor drums his fingers on the table, he is most likely bored; shrugs - all the same; clenching fists - set aggressively; rubs his nose or tilts his head to one side - thinks; looks at the clock - rushes time. Understanding these signals can help the speaker to correct his speech, to interest the audience.

A handshake in the business world is used not only as a greeting, but also as a symbol of an agreement, a sign of trust and respect for a partner. Wherein
the leader, greeting, gives his hand palm down, and the soft person - palm up.

The characteristics of a handshake can be its duration and intensity. Short and sluggish indicates the partner's indifference. A long handshake, accompanied by a smile and a friendly look, demonstrates a friendly attitude towards you. But a long and intense one should alert: a partner is fighting for leadership in a relationship.

Non-verbal means of communication have national specifics. For example, the Italians use gestures 80 times within an hour, the French - 20, the Finns - 1-2 times. Each nation has its own gestures, keeps its distance when communicating. Everything that a person cannot convey in words, he conveys through facial expressions, gestures, and glances. Non-verbal signals show how a person knows how to control himself, as well as what people really think about us.

Thus, knowledge of the language of non-verbal communication allows us to draw the following conclusion: what a person says deserves exactly as much respect and trust as he himself causes with his own words. appearance and behavior. In the process of communication, sometimes even more important is not what they say, but how the emotions, mannerisms, gestures of the interlocutors are manifested; exactly non-verbal means often help to correctly and accurately perceive and evaluate information.