Most of us are good at talking people into things. We possess persuasion skills, sometimes even unconsciously, because we need them every day. We do not think when, intuitively knowing what exactly to offer in return, we persuade, for example, a husband, to buy a new dress for himself.

1. Be intelligent. Before you start asking for something and persuading, politely ask if the interlocutor has time to listen to your appeal. You will show him that you respect him and consider him a busy business person.
2. Speak beautifully. Your conversation can bewitch anyone if your statements are beautiful, unusual and interesting. Our psychology works in such a way that it is harder for an eloquent and even a little impudent speaker to refuse his request. Add more words to your vocabulary: “Please”, “Sorry to disturb you”, “Thank you”. If you have already achieved your goal, do not forget to express gratitude, otherwise the next time you will be denied assistance.
3. Smile more often. Show your charisma, smile, keep others and yourself in a cheerful mood. When people are in a good mood, you can get anything from them, because they will listen to you with pleasure and, hardly thinking about the true meaning of your words, will accept your point of view.
4. Do a favor. Before you persuade people, do something for them. They will feel that they owe you and simply cannot refuse the request. Make it a rule to do good deeds, because good always comes back.
5. Infect with the idea. Impress the interlocutor that your idea is unique, interesting and fully consistent with his personal interests. This will get your opponent's immediate attention.
6. Surprise. You cannot be completely obvious and predictable in your persuasions. Try to make people not even guess that you are leading them to fulfill their desires.
7. Don't expect a positive response. Be prepared to be rejected. For some reason, when we internally expect to hear a refusal, we are answered “yes”.
8. Don't be afraid to speak the truth. In our time, sincerity surprises and amazes. If you understand that it is not possible to persuade a person, admit to him that you want to satisfy only your own interests. Most likely, he will just be taken aback by such a surprise and will do what you ask.
9. Dare to stop. If you see that you are tired of the interlocutor and he will become bored, stop persuading, otherwise your importunity will lead to nothing.

Successful company

The success of any commercial organization is based on financial stability, the existence of which is impossible without customer demand for products. How to persuade a person to buy a product?

1. Light sides. Talk only about positive qualities goods, omitting the negative.
2. Only yes. Never use the "not" particle. For example: “Would you like sauce for potatoes?”, Or “Are you probably not planning to buy a TV today?”. The buyer listens to you and answers, of course, no. You gave him the answer yourself.
3. No negative. Do not remember bad moments with the buyer, so as not to spoil his mood. Do not talk about the case of marriage, even if it was a single one, or that the supplier is unscrupulous.
4. Saving money. Talk more about the fact that by purchasing a product, the client saves a lot of his time and money. It is better to keep silent about its costs.
5. Don't impose. No one likes annoying salespeople who are eager to sell their goods as soon as possible. Be a little more restrained and customers will be drawn to you!

Is it possible to persuade the teacher to agree with everything you say if you did not study for the exam? Can! In psychology, there is even a whole section covering the ability to convince a person.

Our "mole" was a professor of psychology, who at one time worked as an FBI agent for a long time. Taking part in numerous covert operations, he more than once had to fish out information from even the most famous silent people.

The main rule to follow when achieving the goal of “How to persuade anyone” is this: make your opponent like yourself.

Step One: Intentionally Make a Mistake

During a conversation, an experienced speaker allows himself, as if by chance, to make a small mistake. This may be a mistake in pronunciation, incorrectly used in the meaning of the word, and so on.

The point is to get the listener to correct you. He then feigns slight embarrassment, thanks the listeners for the correction, and then speaks with the corrections in mind.

But be careful - your mistakes should not relate directly to the material on which you are answering.

This is done with three main goals:

1. When the listener corrects the speaker (in our case, the teacher corrects the student), this gives him the opportunity to feel more confident.
2. This allows the teacher to communicate with the student more freely.
3. This gives the teacher the opportunity not to be afraid to make mistakes himself and lulls his own vigilance.

Step two: lavish third-person compliments

How to win over a person and persuade him to do something? Of course, start complimenting him!

It has its own rules and subtleties. For example, a student should in no case make direct compliments, otherwise it will be regarded as undisguised flattery. In addition, some people are simply not ready to accept direct compliments and begin to experience discomfort.

In this case, compliments from a third person are great: mention, as if by chance, that you communicated with students of previous courses, and they are sure that it is this teacher (our hero) who teaches his material more fully and accessible than all the other teachers of the course .

By the way! For our readers there is now a 10% discount on

Step three: express sincere sympathy

Do you want to know one of the main secrets of how to learn to persuade people? Show them your sympathy. People have always been interested in their own person much more than everyone else. And it's natural.

If you show a genuine interest in people, you will not only be able to make many friends and acquaintances, but also win the sympathy of teachers.

Your task: to find the optimal sympathetic statement, which will be the absolute truth. For example, on the day of the exam, let the teacher know that you perfectly understand what a difficult day he is having today. The person should feel not pity on your part, but support.

It becomes incredibly pleasant for any person when they not only listen to him carefully, but also share his emotions with him.

Step Four: Get the Interlocutor to Praise Himself

Remember: there is a rather thin line between flattery and a compliment, so it's best not to cross it. And even better - make your interlocutor begin to praise himself.

Here is an example of a good conversation:

- During the last session, I took the exam from the same group 7 times!

-Wow! You need to have nerves of steel and incredible endurance to listen to the same thing for 7 days from the same people!

- (probable answer we need to achieve) Yes, I had to try not to go crazy. Of course, I did a great job and all the students passed the exam.

Step Five: Ask for a Favor

Make a person help you - and he will do it again and again, and with genuine pleasure! When a person gives someone a favor, he feels his own growing importance not only for others, but also for himself.

However, this method should not be abused: the service you are asking for should be small, insignificant.

Now you know how to persuade a person to do something. None of this advice fits the definition of hypocrisy, so everything is legal and quite moral. A little cunning, charm and valuable information on the methodology of the special services - and you will succeed. And if it does not work out, then we are ready to provide at any time

Hello dear readers! We have to convince people in different situations: at work, school, personal life. Remember the last moment when you had to communicate with a person to persuade him to your side. Was it easy for you? If you are reading this article, then most likely you have failed. But it is so important to know how to properly persuade a person. But this skill can be easily learned. Therefore, today I want to talk about how to convince people of various life situations what should definitely be emphasized and what should definitely be avoided.

If you want to master the skill of persuasion, then you can not do without this book: Robert Cialdini " Psychology of influence. Persuade. Act. defend yourself". It is she who reveals this topic in its entirety, in understandable language, it contains understandable and simple examples where you can easily learn how to convince anyone.

Power of persuasion

The ability to get a person to accept your position is extremely useful in various areas of life. Persuade. Arrange with your lover to go to the cinema. Make a friend go on a diet together and so on. In all these situations, it is extremely important to understand how best to influence the interlocutor in order to incline to your opinion and push him to the actions you need.

If today it is extremely difficult for you to be with you, do not be upset and do not worry. This is a skill that can and should be developed every day, albeit in small portions. Start small and work your way up. Of course, you most likely won’t be able to perform complex techniques right away, because this requires experience. That is why I warn you against haste.

What does it mean to convince another person? Give the necessary arguments, show an example, make you think in such a way as to direct the actions of a person in the direction you need. It is extremely important to understand the real beliefs of the person himself.

Remember that all people do only what brings them material, mental or moral benefits. That is what your actions should be aimed at. Show the person the benefit they will receive.

The process of persuasion depends on many factors. You need to win over only one person or a whole group to your side; you are trying to negotiate with your boss or your girlfriend; in front of you is a person or benevolent regarding your idea. All this involves completely different tactics. Let's deal with each situation in more detail.

persuasive speech

I want to start by preparing a speech. When you need to pitch a new product in front of clients, or convince a board of directors about a new direction for your business, or make an impressive appearance in front of an examining board. All of the principles below can be useful to you in a personal conversation, when you need to win over just one person to your side.

The first principle is your understanding of the essence. In order to convince the many, to win over the majority, you need to clearly understand the intentions and goals. If you are not confident in your belief, then it will immediately catch your eye.

You should not just prove, you should show all the charm of your idea and the benefit for the audience you are speaking to. You will gain more credibility if people see your confidence and determination.

The second equally important point is the structure of your speech. A poorly prepared speech will leave behind only a bitter aftertaste and disappointment in the speaker. Therefore, it is extremely important for you to learn how to plan your speech correctly.

How to build a presentation? First comes the introduction. It should be short, concise and indicate the essence of your further speech. You can start off with a serious tone, or you can start with a joke, which will give the presentation a lighter and more casual format.

After the introduction comes the main part. Emphasize how you speak. It's just as important as what you say. Persuasive speech should be clear, easy to understand, logical and coherent. Do not fuss, do not try to cram as many examples, evidence and arguments into the speech as possible. Stop at two or three of the most powerful and backed by authoritative sources.

Break your speech into small blocks. Information is best absorbed in short and precise expressions. Do not be afraid to ask the audience questions and boldly answer your questions. But be careful, improvisation has its pitfalls. Therefore, try to think in advance what questions you may be asked.

And if you really have to improvise, then for preparation you can not do without the article "".

At the end, briefly recap the whole speech with the main points, and make the main statement, which should encourage people to take certain steps (buy your product, enroll in courses, and so on).

Useful tricks

Now let's talk about what tricks you can use to convince a person in a personal conversation.
When you speak, be careful with your language. The same information can be presented under completely different sauces. I suggest you think about the following two phrases: “I have no money” and “I am currently experiencing a little financial difficulty.” Where do you see the difference in these phrases?

When you win over a person to your side, then try to use emotionally charged words. A meager and faded argument, even if it is well supported, will cause much less response than an emotional speech.

When you talk to a person, you can gain more trust from him through gestures and facial expressions. This is done in a simple and uncomplicated way - to take his pose. When we are like a person, then he subconsciously feels sympathy for us and trusts our words more. You can learn more about body language in the article "".

In the psychology of persuasion, there is a great technique that marketers use everywhere - creating a visible scarcity. We all want to have something unique and special. Therefore, when a limited batch of any product is produced, the store is bursting with queues.

A useful example of long-term persuasion is exchange. In order to get what you want from a certain person, give him something. For example, lend a neighbor a drill, give your boss tickets to the opera, give a friend. With such an act, you oblige a person to return kindness for kindness. Don't overdo this trick.

Always remember to be honest and open. People are more inclined to trust someone who does not hide anything, is friendly and smiling. It is difficult to agree with someone who is gloomy, mutters something under his breath and does not evoke positive emotions in general.

Reception "three yes". Start the conversation with two questions that the person will definitely answer in the affirmative: Is the weather fine today, yes; I see you are a bit tired today, right? After that, the person will be inclined to answer the third question in the affirmative.

Never forget about the benefit that a person will receive by agreeing with you. You need to convince him not that he just needs to act in a certain way, but about how much good he will get from this action.

Touch sometimes works wonders. A light pat on the shoulder, a gentle touch on the arm, elbow or forearm. All this will help you forge a closer and closer relationship with the person. Try not to overdo it with such gestures. Firstly, each person has his own comfort zone, read about it in the article "", and secondly, your gesture may seem intrusive and will only push you away.

Be attentive to your interlocutor, speak briefly and to the point, praise the person, focus on the benefits for the person himself, do not push if you see a clear disagreement.

How often do you have to convince people? Is it easy to agree with you? What can influence you to decide to change your point of view to the opposite?

Train and practice. Only then can you hone this skill to perfection.
Best wishes to you!

In life, situations often arise when it is required to get a partner to perform certain actions and at the same time create the illusion that he came to the decision to perform certain actions on his own. In these cases, applied psychology, an extremely important and useful science, can come to the rescue. Almost everyone is amenable to suggestion, it's just that each person has his own "buttons", by pressing which specialists and connoisseurs of souls are able to achieve their goals.

These strategies also have a downside. People who have the skills of suggestion, even if they do not use them, can themselves successfully avoid attempts to manipulate them. In general, as the ancient Romans said, forewarned is forearmed.

Below are some tricks with which you can achieve a lot. How to use this knowledge, each reader is free to decide for himself - this is a situational and ethical question.

1. Use of "baits"

You can call this personal quality frugality or greed, it all depends on the circumstances and motivation, but the desire to save money is inherent in almost all sane people. Any buyer is “led” to the words “promotion”, “discount” and “hot sale”, even if the product is sold at the most regular price. In addition, this method is applicable in cases where there are problems with the sale of expensive products. In a set with them, you can offer a cheap product with a big discount, and in some cases even for free (including its cost in the total price).

2. Creation of the necessary surroundings

People most often think stereotypically, preparing to fight back attempts to impose something on them. Things go much more successfully when the environment in which the manipulation of consciousness is carried out does not correspond to the image that the potential “victim” managed to form in her imagination. For example, difficult negotiations can be conducted in an official place (conference room), but in an ordinary cafeteria they will give the best result.

3. Favors

Psychologists often point to this method of influence, despite its obvious lack of originality and even hackneyedness. In principle, you just need to help in solving some issue to the person on whom the adoption of a favorable decision depends. In response to words of gratitude, you should answer something like “Of course, we are friends! (or partners). In no case need not be said that this favor is trifling. It will be quite natural to want to do something pleasant in return for such a pleasant “friend”.

4. Imitate the object

This is where observation is needed. Posture, intonation, facial expressions and favorite words of the object of manipulation should be carefully studied and mirrored. The more carefully this is done, the more successful the conversation will be. No wonder the English say that "like loves like." Scientists call this the "chameleon effect."

5. Controlling the pace of speech

Rhythm is very important when dealing with "difficult clients". If the manipulator himself is not fully convinced of the power own argumentation, he should state his position quickly so as not to give the interlocutor time to search for weak areas. But when the arguments are weighty, then you need to lay them out calmly and with an arrangement, offering to evaluate their impeccability.

6. Entanglement

This method is often used by scammers, psychologists consider it rather vile, however, in the life of quite decent people, there are situations when all means are good. The method consists in masking the real essence behind a veil of secondary distracting details.

7. Asking for a favor

Other partners show resistance to flattery, easily expose cunning, are indifferent to benefits, but cannot resist when they are simply asked for something. So, this is how it should be done, timidly expressing the hope of sympathy.

8. State your awareness

The best way to convince people of the need to behave civilly and legally is to let them know that their actions are being monitored. For this, a dummy surveillance camera will do (if it is not possible to install a real one), a simple reminder of the deadline for returning the book (that is, that no one has forgotten about it), and so on. In general, "big brother sees everything."

9. Using nouns rather than verbs

This rule is effective because most people feel more comfortable as part of a group. A simple example of comparing two questions:

Do you want to serve in the army?

Do you want to become an officer?

It is clear that in the second case there will be much more applicants.

10. Intimidation

People tend to constantly assess the degree of potential danger. If it is emphasized in time that the adoption of a decision favorable for the manipulator reduces risks, the issue can be considered resolved.

11. Focusing on the benefits of the right solution

There are two ways to sell a car. If a person says that he wants ten thousand for him, he expresses not the desire of the buyer, but his will. But the phrase “I will give this Ford for 10,000” is much more convincing, since it formally takes into account the interests of both parties.

Irina Davydova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Not the stronger one who has great knowledge, but the one who is able to convince is a well-known axiom. Knowing how to choose words, you own the world. The art of persuasion is a whole science, but all its secrets have long been revealed by psychologists in a way that is easy to understand, simple rules which any successful business person knows by heart. How to convince people - advice from experts ...

• Control over the situation is impossible without a sober assessment of the situation. Evaluate the situation itself, the reaction of people, the possibility of the influence of strangers on the opinion of your interlocutor. Remember that the result of the dialogue should be beneficial for both parties.
• Mentally put yourself in the place of the interlocutor. Without trying to "get into the shoes" of the opponent and without empathizing with him, it is impossible to influence a person. Feeling and understanding the opponent (with his desires, motives and dreams), you will find more opportunities for persuasion.

• The first and natural reaction of almost any person to pressure from outside is resistance.. The stronger the “pressure” of persuasion, the stronger the person resists. You can eliminate the "barrier" from the opponent by positioning him towards you. For example, to play a joke on yourself, on the imperfection of your product, thereby "lulling" the vigilance of a person - there is no point in looking for flaws if you have listed them. Another of the tricks is a sharp change in tone. From official to simple, friendly, universal.
• Use “creative” phrases and words in communication - no denial or negativity. Incorrect: “if you buy our shampoo, your hair will stop falling out” or “if you don’t buy our shampoo, you won’t be able to appreciate its fantastic effectiveness.” Correct option: “Restore strength and health to your hair. New shampoo with a fantastic effect! Instead of the questionable word "if", use the convincing "when". Not “if we do…”, but “when we do…”.

• Do not impose your opinion on the opponent - give him the opportunity to think independently, but "highlight" the right path. Wrong option: "Without cooperation with us, you lose a lot of advantages." Correct option: "Cooperation with us is a mutually beneficial alliance." Wrong option: "Buy our shampoo and see how effective it is!". Correct option: "The effectiveness of the shampoo has been proven by thousands of positive reviews, multiple studies, the Ministry of Health, the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, etc."
• Look for arguments to convince your opponent in advance, having thought through all the possible branches of the dialogue. Present your arguments in a calm and confident tone without emotional coloring without haste and in detail.
• When convincing an opponent of something, you must be sure of your point of view. Any of your doubts about the “truth” you put forward is instantly “caught” by a person, and trust in you is lost.

• Learn sign language. This will help you avoid mistakes and better understand your opponent.
• Never give in to provocations. In persuading your opponent, you must be a "robot" who cannot be pissed off. “Balance, honesty and reliability” are three “pillars” of trust even in a stranger.
• Always use facts - the best weapon of persuasion. Not “grandmother told” and “read on the Internet”, but “there are official statistics ...”, “on personal experience I know that…”, etc. Witnesses, dates and figures, videos and photographs, opinions of famous people are the most effective as facts.

• Learn the art of persuasion from your children. The child knows that by offering his parents a choice, he, at least, will not lose anything and even gain: not “Mom, well, buy!”, But “Mom, buy me a radio-controlled robot, or at least a designer”. By offering a choice (and by preparing the conditions of the choice in advance so that the person makes the right choice), you allow the opponent to think that he is the master of the situation. Proven fact: it is rare for a person to say “no” when offered a choice (even if it is an illusion of choice).

• Convince your opponent of his uniqueness. Not by vulgar open flattery, but by the appearance of a "recognized fact." For example, "Your company is known to us as a responsible company with a positive reputation and one of the leaders in this field of production." Or "We have heard about you as a man of duty and honor." Or "We would like to work only with you, you are known as a person whose words never diverge from deeds."
• Focus on the "secondary benefit". For example, “Cooperation with us is not only low prices for you, but also great prospects.” Or “Our new teapot is not just a technological super-novelty, but your delicious tea and a pleasant evening with your family.” Or "Our wedding will be so magnificent that even kings will envy." We focus, first of all, on the needs and characteristics of the audience or opponent. Based on them, we put accents.

• Do not allow neglect and arrogance towards the interlocutor. He should feel on the same level with you, even if in ordinary life you go around such people for a kilometer in your expensive car.
• Always start a conversation with moments that can unite you with your opponent, not divide. Immediately tuned to the right “wave”, the interlocutor ceases to be an opponent and turns into an ally. And even in the event of disagreements, it will be difficult for him to answer you “no”.
• Follow the principle of demonstrating shared benefit. Every mom knows that the perfect way to talk a child into going to the store with her is to tell them that they sell candy at the checkout. with toys, or “suddenly remember” that his favorite cars were promised big discounts this month. The same method, only in a more complex execution, underlies business negotiations and contracts between ordinary people. Mutual benefit is the key to success.

• Position the person towards you. Not only in personal relationships, but also in the business environment, people are guided by likes / dislikes. If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, or even completely disgusting (outwardly, in communication, etc.), then you will have no business with him. Therefore, one of the principles of persuasion is personal charm. It is given to someone from birth, and someone has to learn this art. Learn to highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses.

AT art of persuasion idea 1:

Video about the art of persuasion 2: