Life is life. Sometimes you fall into a deep hole and skid at its bottom with a torn heart, an empty wallet or a serious illness. How many do not try to climb back - it seems that there is no way out.

In fact, the exit is much closer than it seems. To cope with a difficult life situation, we need only one thing - specific actions. After all, they are the most effective tool for achieving results.

And if so, we will look at 2 ways to solve any problem with a 4-step action plan, two useful exercises and one tip to help when everything falls out of hand. We will start with 5 ideas that you need to realize so that you do not kill yourself once again and do not make the mess thicker than before.

What needs to be realized

• There are people with more serious problems than you. For example, children with terminal illnesses, parents who lost a young family in an accident, a boy who was killed in an unnecessary war. The world has not agreed on your situation, so you should not give up after the first defeat.

• Failure is a happy turning point. This idea can be found on the pages of Napoleon Hill's Law of Success. And it's true: a sudden illness, a business failure, or a broken relationship can sometimes save your head from even greater misfortunes.

• The advice to quit everything is the advice of weak people. Before you listen to someone, look at his standard of living. If it is lower than what you want, you should not waste time listening to another opinion.

• No matter what happens, no matter who is to blame, everything is in the past. Now we are facing a fact and we need to shift our attention to the present.

• Chop from the shoulder - good quality successful person, but in our case, too decisive actions can do harm.

What can be done

Here we come to practice. In general, the methods for getting out of difficult situations come down to one thing - to raise your “op” and. It seems to be simple, but how to do it if the whole body is exhausted and resists? You can try the step by step method below.

Method 1 - Solve the problem yourself

Step #1 – Cooling and Preparing

• First, as in all emergencies, you need to stop panicking. The fire has already flared up and even though it burns on the outside, you need to remain cold-blooded inside. So the brain will not waste energy on unnecessary emotions and save resources to solve the problem.

• Then, stop playing the victim. As children, we were often told that we needed to be responsible, and now is the right time for this.

  Take the helm in your hands to fully control the situation. Otherwise, you can quickly succumb to excuses like “I was unlucky, I have nothing to do with it, let him decide better, etc.”

• The next “half-step” is to find the foothold of your problem. When trouble arises, out of nowhere, a bunch of other difficulties pile up. And if the first trouble is "pulled out", then the rest of the chain of events will collapse by itself.

  Sounds promising, but it's actually true. From the solution of a complex problem, inspiration, a second wind, an increase in strength appear, and smaller problems are solved by themselves.

Step #2 - Reboot

At this stage, we must interfere with a sober mind. Here are a few options for how to do this:

• Gain strength, sleep, eat, rest.

• Recall your past victories and get a boost of motivation.

• Think about what this situation will teach you, what faith in yourself you will gain if you solve it. (Invaluable experience, strengthened fortitude, self-confidence - these are just a few consequences of the problem solved.)

• Gain strength of will and give up alcohol, excessive smoking, drugs. Stop being lazy, overeat, in general - do not feed the factors that spoil the psyche and destroy the body.

1. The first one is self-programming.(or affirmations). It consists in not recognizing the complexity of the situation, and telling yourself that everything is not so bad.

What happened, trouble?"It's okay, temporary difficulties!" How are you?- Great as usual! Try to talk to yourself and others in this spirit. (Looks like training sectarians, but if not overzealous, then such thinking is useful).

2. Consider what you believe: into themselves and their forces, God, world energy, a single wave shell, even into reptilians. Believe in it with renewed vigor. (Again, a little strange, but faith is a very strong feeling that can give strength)

3. Emotional release. Sometimes it is worth stuffing cuffs on an innocent pear or bursting into tears in a pillow. Simply throw everything out straight, without any affirmations. In this matter, your heart will tell you: if you want to cry, if you want to beat the dishes, if you want to go to the gym and exhaust your muscles.

It's bad that many people are used to restraining their emotions. To freak out, even if you are left alone, is somehow awkward and “not like an adult”, which is why the method is not suitable for everyone.

After the "reboot" you can go to the 3rd step.

Step #3 - Focus

When you are cold-blooded, and all emotions are behind, you can start the most important thing - switch the focus from the problem to its solution.

And here the most difficult thing begins, which 90% of those who read the article will not do. Why? Because we need to take action right now. We need two sheets of paper and a pen. Preferably it is paper, and not electronic media, the effect will be stronger on it.

We will do 2 exercises that will help free your head from the whirlpool of thoughts and structure your knowledge. After completing them, you will already have an initial speed and a foundation for a further plan of action.

Exercise 1

Describe all the resources you have: knowledge, things, connections, money, valuable information, experience, etc. These are your means to an end, in our case the goal is to get out of a difficult situation.

Emphasize which of these tools can be used to solve the problem. For example: the car- sell, Lech- collect debt Alexey Borisovich call and ask for advice.

If you have not found something that can help you, then your horizons are still limited. You are wandering in the dark when the answer may be just around the corner. Make a small column under the list of funds, and write there all the resources that you think you are missing (again, this can be money, connections, qualifications, etc.).

We have a picture in front of us could not fit entirely in my head. It remains only to work with it: use resources, seek funds, supplement with new knowledge. After that, we can move on to the second exercise.

Exercise 2

We take the second sheet of paper and arrange a brainstorming session. We write out absolutely all our thoughts into it: “I have problems and everything infuriates me; I think no one will help me; I should call and arrange, but I'm afraid.

That is, not just gotta do this and try something.” but all your feelings, experiences, ideas. All the porridge that is boiled and boils the brain must be poured onto paper.

Why is this exercise good? It materializes thoughts in a peculiar way. You had an impulse in your head, you had to keep it in your memory, save it, maintain your emotional mood, and now - here it is, on paper! The brain no longer needs to waste energy: constantly show this thought, associate a certain emotion with it. He can focus on something specific and calm down at least for a while.

That is why it is better to do these exercises on paper. Writing thoughts with your hand is a little different than poking them with the buttons on your phone. Imagine what it would be like if children in schools typed everything on the keyboard. Of course, they would learn quickly, but poorly. Here we have something similar.

Step #4 - Plan

Ideally, at this stage, you should already have 2 sheets of notes and at least a minimal idea of ​​\u200b\u200byour further actions. If you've completed all the previous steps, well done! This means that you are ready to work hard, and you will definitely get the desired result.

The simplest thing left is to write a plan and set goals. Carry them with you so that in a free moment, you always know what to do next.

Method 2 - Ask for help

In order to find a way out of a hopeless situation, you can go the other way. If you are lucky, you have relatives and real friends. Close people, if they are really close, will always help you in difficult times.

There are 3 variations of this method. We briefly discussed the first in the first paragraph - ask for help from friends and acquaintances.

Second variety: Look for those who have already solved a similar problem.

Believe me, among several billion people there is someone who is faced with the same life situation. Find this person. In his video, book or article, he can show the solution to your problem from his own experience.

Imagine that you are sitting at a round table and interacting with people you respect. Friends, parents, it doesn't matter. If you roughly know their character, you can imagine the advice they will give you.

Practice shows that many tips from the Internet simply do not work. Sometimes it gets boring to force yourself to read moralizing, to do some exercises, to overpower your character to the point of nausea.

Nothing works in this state. What kind of exercises are there, I would like to collect myself in a heap. In a word, stress.

The only way out of this situation is to disconnect from business as much as possible. Send, score, rest - call it what you want.

Why is this tip "super"? Because it reflects the real state of affairs. If you have completely lost motivation and lost heart, it is dangerous to finish yourself off! And you can finish yourself off with different practices, motivational speeches, constant reproaches, etc. With a complete loss of performance, these things will not help you and will only upset you. “I’m no good”, “Everything is gone”, “Nothing helps me anymore” - you only think about this after trying to overpower yourself.

So don't be afraid to drop things for a while! Yes, this condition can last for several days or even weeks. But the more time passes, the more the spring of motivation is compressed. At one point, you will get so tired of messing around that the spring will open and with great force will carry you back upstairs.

Conclusion

Finally, let's be smart: while everything is good, it's bad. When there is no desire to do anything, a person dies both physically and morally. So it's better to meet problems than to lie idly by and get fat on the couch.

That seems to be all! I would like to believe that in this article you have learned new ways to get out of a hopeless situation as a winner. See you soon!

Date: 2015-05-13

Ecology of life: Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, it seems, cannot be avoided.

Each of us has heard such a phrase - "a hopeless situation" many, many times. Usually in such cases it is about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless situation" - that's all, and there's nothing to be done. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.

There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, but even in this case it does not at all follow that you are freed from eliminating the consequences of the unfortunate "hopeless situation", and perhaps even the prerequisites for it. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for proposes to consider this question on more or less typical examples ...

Imagine a situation: a new management came to the company where you work - and announced a massive "reduction" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "reduced" - you. Write "in your own way" - and get out of the company.

The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really happening. If the new boss is still at least minimally adequate, then you can talk with him about what you can agree with him. Look, everything will work out. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.

If the newly-minted head of the office directly in your eyes declares that someone's son (for example, his) is planned to take your place, but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Especially if you are a punctual and executive employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.

Consider hypothetical second A "hopeless" example is betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn’t matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of a person who is not a stranger to you.

The situation, it would seem, is hopeless, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good tutorial: people need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this may be a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even completely not suitable for you. And maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in dealing with people in the future.

The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you were robbed or robbed. As you understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. Million stolen. It seemed to be a complete dead end. But no!

Firstly, it depends on you whether you will stir up the relevant competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and with the competent work of the authorities, provided, among other things, by you, the scoundrel will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. More activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable outcome.

In principle, you can continue indefinitely. The general meaning is this: if you understand the ins and outs of the “insoluble” situation that has arisen, especially the reasons for its occurrence, and at the same time competently and actively act on your own in a constructive way, the impossible turns out to be few in practice.

Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander along dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some kind of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To say that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.

This will be of interest to you:

But in general, there is an acceptable way out for you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into that very ill-fated 1%, you can still extract a share of positive even from it if you wish. At least as a life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": "hopeless situations" are actually very, very few!

Where is the way out of the hopeless situation

A couple of years ago, I heard a phrase from a successful person that changed my outlook on many things. The phrase sounded like this: "There are no hopeless situations, there are unpleasant decisions." Indeed, if you consider any hopeless situation, you can always find a way out, and not always unpleasant. So why do so many people constantly find themselves in "hopeless" situations?

Each of us faced the problem of choice. The need for choice is constantly pursued: when shopping, looking for work, lifestyle and other things. What is still better: to choose or to be in a situation of “no choice”.

Understanding this situation, I discovered several main causes of “hopeless situations”. And almost all of them are subjective in nature, which allows us to draw the following conclusion: a person drives himself into a framework. And so, what are the reasons for this behavior:

1. The need for decision making. When we make a choice, we are forced to make a decision. And this, in turn, forces one to bear responsibility, which is scary. “What if I choose the wrong thing, and then I will regret it” - such thoughts haunt a person. But it's not that scary either. The saddest thing in this situation is that there will be no one but yourself to blame for your mistake. But this is not desirable, as it hurts our ego, which is the best.
2. The need to change something. People are afraid of choice because it entails the need for change. A person is conservative by nature, it is easier for him to live and navigate under conditions of certainty. And when there is a choice between something known, but unpleasant, and new, sometimes it is easier not to do anything, but to go with the flow, so familiar.
3. Fear of the unknown. This reason is a consequence of the previous one. As we have already found out, a person is afraid of the unknown and in every possible way tries to create for himself the world in which he will feel comfortable. This situation is very well described in the book "Who Stole My Cheese". In the form of a fairy tale, three models of behavior are described under the conditions of a changing situation and the need to make a decision on how to proceed. The situation of "habit and fear of the unknown" is shown. But being afraid of the new, it is impossible to bring back the past or create a favorable future. And a person falls into a trap, which ultimately forces him to choose, but time has already been lost.
4. Convenience. This reason differs from the previous ones in that the choice of change is simply not included in the plans of a person. The current situation is convenient and quite satisfactory, but a person cannot always admit this to himself and others, as he can feel either its “wrongness” or pressure from the outside. In this case, it is much easier to present the situation as hopeless than to explain why he does not want change. An example of such a situation would be a dysfunctional marriage. Despite external negative manifestations, it is convenient for people to live together.
5. Laziness. When choosing changes, a person needs to make certain efforts, to carry out actions, which in turn requires expending energy, and quite often we are just too lazy to do something and therefore it is easier to either go with the flow or choose the least laborious option.
6. contrary to moral principles. Sometimes moral principles interfere with choosing, or rather, the inconsistency of choice with them. And if personal principles do not correspond to generally accepted ones, it is difficult for a person to resist and it is easier to find himself in a “hopeless” situation.
7. Willingness to complain. This quality is characteristic of a person living in the post-Soviet space. And in a sense, such people are similar to energy vampires. It is easier for a person to find himself in a hopeless difficult situation and complain about how hard life is for him than to take and change something that does not suit him.
8. So accepted. It has already happened historically that in Soviet time it was shameful to have something better than others, to strive for something that everyone does not strive for. There was a leveling system. And the echoes of this system sometimes appear even now. Yes, I don’t like the situation, but everyone lives like this, why change something, why be different from others and still take actions for this.

And yet, despite the situation of hopelessness, we unconsciously make a choice. After all, refusing to change anything, we choose current position or let life choose for us. In fact, we choose the option when someone else can choose for us. By staying in a job we don't like, we let the employer burden us. unpleasant job; not daring to part with a tyrant husband, we allow him to choose us as a victim.

All aspects of life are related to choice, although not everyone can recognize this. Complaining about the hopelessness, we actually give our lives at the disposal of others and chance. By refusing to look for a way out, we allow others to choose for us. And this, in turn, leads to dissatisfaction and disappointment, because others choose in favor of their interests or according to their life views.

A person wants to be the master of his life, but desire alone is not enough. To keep it under control, sometimes it is enough just to take part in it, namely, to choose those situations and circumstances that are important and of value to you.