If the publisher has not changed their mind, this book should have my comment... THE FIRST BOOK IN RUSSIAN LANGUAGE WITH THE WORD STORITELLING...
and
And of course my review...
The Art of Storytelling. Inspire and influence...
"History is not capable of usurping power and influence, but it is capable of creating them..."
Annette Simone Storytelling. How to use the power of stories
The Mann, Ivanov and Farber publishing house invited me to write a review about
A book dedicated to storytelling and I naturally rejoiced in my heart:
the Russian-speaking audience is not spoiled with books about this modern, sought-after
in the civilized world of technology, science, philosophy. When did I learn the name and
author, I rejoiced - I used the materials of the book by Annette Simmonet when writing
one of the chapters of Blueberry Pie for the Storyteller. Introduction to Power" (unfortunately
the only book about Storytelling by a Russian author). Already one thought that
before gaining the trust of any audience, the narrator must answer himself
the question "Who am I?" is worth it for this book to be highly recommended for
reading for those who are promoting something or attracting resources to
various projects, as well as those who want to influence their environment…
After I read the manuscript, I experienced an interesting and at the same time strange feeling.
As if I got a map with navigation to the place where the treasures are hidden, but I would get it after I went all this way on my own and sat over an open chest in which diamonds and gold jewelry shimmer…
This book is indeed such a map. The beauty of it is that you can go to the place to which it leads an infinite number of times and always find new treasures there ... As a person who has traveled this path and reached the treasure, I assure you, there will be enough of them for everyone ...
Because that place is you...
As far back as the end of the twentieth century, the Danish futurologist Rolf Jensen wrote in his book The Dream Society (in which I first read this sacred word “Storytelling”): “The sun sets over the information society…” Information, due to its abundance and easy accessibility, ceases to be a product demanded in the market.
Instead, the main products of the modern civilized market are "attention", "trust", "faith" and "influence". And this is exactly what Storyteller practices in following its Path…
1. Pay attention
2. Gain trust
3. Awaken Faith
4. Manage inspiring
Another great man, Robert McKee, already at the beginning of this century, devoted a whole book to History, which he called "Story" (into Russian, however, it was translated as "History in a Million", which indicates that the Russian-speaking audience does not yet see this million in the "History" itself). And what is remarkable, the subtitle of this book was the following - "a master class for screenwriters, writers AND NOT ONLY ..."
So these “NOT ONLY” are absolutely everything ...
Because no matter what a person, a group of people or a company does, no one can avoid participating in two processes - Promoting one's Name (idea, project) and attracting resources (material, financial, administrative, intellectual, human) to it. Both of these processes require self-confidence and are based on gaining the trust of "contractors", "clients" and "donors".
Where is our confidence and how to win the trust of the environment?
The book "Storytelling. How to Use the Power of Stories” will lead you to this place and teach you how to extract treasures from it every time the need arises ...
Two themes are central to this book: "How to gain trust?" and “How to influence the environment?”
And from the first pages, the author warns us: “The magic of influence is not in what we say, but in how we say it, and also in what we ourselves are - that is, influence depends on who we are. . This dependence is not amenable to rational analysis and cannot be described using the usual schemes and tables. Influence comes from attitude towards you and your goals. In the sphere of feelings and emotions (and they are irrational by definition) there are no matters "organized" in the traditional sense. The desire to "organize" and streamline communication and influence leads only to gradual "universal" models - beautiful, but completely useless. These models are difficult to adapt to real life, it is difficult to remember them in stressful situations, but such situations await us at every step ... "
There was also an ironic mention that has now appeared in many gurus teaching "communication", "personal growth", "leadership" and other popular disciplines ...
“Communication courses really bake graduates. These graduates are sure that they are “ready to communicate in a new way”, but after three months it turns out that they have not changed their previous behavior in the least. This is because they were taught new tricks, but not rid of the old beliefs that underlie the inability to communicate (for example, “if I said something, I would never go back on my words”, “hold information - this is a great strategy”, “telling the truth means putting an end to a career”). Traditional Methods influences work at such a superficial level that they not only have no effect, but also inspire a false sense of success ... "
Annette Simone proposes to move from rationality and linearity to irrationality and consistency. From facts and notes to stories (with a capital letter). Remember that any social, business and everyday processes come down to communication between PEOPLE, and not legal entities, social statuses and positions ...
To perceive the world around us and the people who inhabit it with their voluminous stories (which, in fact, they are) and not laid out in flat schemes, business plans, strategies and formulas ...
“You can divide the story into fragments that have lost all meaning, provide it with reference points, highlight stages and steps: the first, second, third, all this will look very beautiful, but it will never make you a good storyteller ...”
However, Storytelling has a very specific set of rules that you can follow to develop your intuition, emotional intelligence and with their help, learn how to win the trust of the audience and influence it ...
But what shocked me most of all in this book was that in it for the first time (in educational and business literature) I read the words about the responsibility of people who receive the strongest tool to influence their environment ...
“The storyteller is the lifeblood that shapes the culture of an organization, community, family. We as humans are defined by the stories we tell. The norms and customs of any culture are conveyed by stories being told and retold. This is a great responsibility. What do you tell more often: stories of hope or a story of sacrifice?..”
And another very important point...
It is History that is the “object” around which any community can unite. After all, a beautiful and correct History is a Myth, a Ritual and a Sacrifice…
“Telling and listening to stories is a ritual that binds and unites people, breaking the illusion of separateness, it revives a deep sense of our collective interdependence. I never cease to be amazed at the impact that stories like “Who am I” and “Why am I here” have on people…”
Storytelling helps to unite the energy of the past, present and future…
Kirill P. Gopius
Storyteller, researcher, organizer of the first international storytelling
festival in Russia.
Why didn't I like this book?
I was going through my workbooks and came across my notes on Annette Simmons' book " Storytelling. How to use the power of stories"(MYTH, 2013; book on the publisher's website and on Ozone). I remembered that then (in 2014, when I purchased the book) I only briefly got acquainted with the book with the help of" viewing reading ". I looked through it" diagonally ", snatched some key ideas, but decided not to read the book itself.Why?
For a very simple reason: the book seemed too "missionary" to me. A lot of emotions, a lot of enthusiastic phrases about the "power of stories", a lot of irony and criticism in relation to those who "did not believe" in the magic of storytelling. At some points, it even seemed to me that Ms. Simmons contradicted herself. History is not a sermon, not a straightforward labeling, not imposing on the audience a "correct" understanding from the position of an omniscient "guru". But the author constantly slips into this very guruism and missionary work :(. Perhaps it all seemed to me, but on an emotional level the book caused me certain doubts and even rejection. ( For example, P. Guber's book "Tell me to win" seemed to me much more useful -)
It happens to me quite often when some text drives me into a stupor. I seem to understand it intellectually, but at some deep emotional level, the text surprises me. Moreover, this is surprise with a minus sign, this is surprise-disagreement. The text reveals something different, something strongly "not mine". The first impulsive reaction to such texts is to close the book, throw it somewhere far away, and forget :).
I used to do that. But over the years, I came to understand that it is precisely such texts (which contain a frightening, incomprehensible and negative Other) that are most useful for my personal and professional development. Of course, not all and not always. It happens that the text is so alien that nothing can be done about it. But I have a rule: after a while, be sure to return to books that "surprised" (in a negative sense) me. The "other" that is contained in these texts often contains fantastic potential for growth. And if I manage to integrate this potential into my life, truly amazing changes occur.
With the book by A. Simmons "Storytelling" a similar story turned out. At first I didn't like her very much; provoked many doubts and questions. In accordance with my algorithm for working with the IVD book (Ideas - Questions - Actions), I outlined some actions that I wanted to try out in practice. I put the book itself aside, but not even three years have passed :)), when the time has come to reread it again. And understand what she taught me.
Let me start by saying that I am not new to storytelling...
My life in storytelling :)
If anyone is not interested, then you can safely skip this section, because the author is going to praise himself in it :). Of course, the purpose of writing is not boasting, but some kind of retrospective arrangement of the "reference points" of my experience as a storyteller (storyteller).
My first stories were told to my younger sister when I was 10-11 years old, and she was 5 years old. There was a wonderful family tradition at home - our parents read some kind of "bedtime story" to us before going to bed. Of course, the fairy tale was selected unpretentiously, taking into account the age of the sister. It was boring for me to listen to this, but I had to endure it. But after the parents wished us good night, turned off the light and left the nursery, it was my turn :). Usually I took as a basis the plot I had just heard, added new characters, new circumstances, and began to compose a fairy tale.
I suspect that it was mandatory for my stories to be labeled "12+, only for boys" :)). Because there were too many fights and gunfights, chases, secret tricks and gadgets, terrible villains and noble heroes. Sometimes, at the tearful request of the sister, beautiful princesses were added to the story, but usually they were harsh boy action movies, without sentimentality :). Good has always triumphed over evil, but the path to victory itself could be very long and confusing.
My first (and best :)) listener - my younger sister - liked my stories. But the parents chased us all the time (“Sleep, stop talking there already!”). We were put to bed at 9-10 pm, and I could tell my story until midnight and even well after midnight. A couple of times it happened that after hearing the story, the little sister was "all on emotions", and could not fall asleep until the morning. Then the whole next day I went half asleep. As you understand, I got from my parents for such "wrecking" is not weak!
Around the same age, a little older - at 11-14 years old - the ability to tell stories helped me make friends. I was not physically strong and agile, I did not have any special talents or skills; those. nothing at all that would allow me to claim at least some kind of leadership among peers. At this age I was fat and clumsy bespectacled, extremely timid and shy. Plus, I have always been an introvert, who finds it much easier to communicate with books than with real people. I found "my flock" only thanks to the ability to compose and tell stories.
This happened after the release in 1979 (I was 12 years old) of the film "D. Artanyan and the Three Musketeers" (dir. Jungvald-Khilkevich). It will probably be very difficult for today's children to imagine the wild popularity that the film had then. Everyone fenced! :) The noble musketeers sorted things out with the cardinal's guards at breaks, and even at the lessons :), and in every yard after school.
The film was released on the eve of the New Year (December 25), and I clearly remember the massive musketeer battles in our yard during the New Year holidays. The battles were costumed - "musketeer" cloaks made of sheets or curtains were put on over winter clothes :), with blue crosses painted on them. "Cardinal" cloaks were either red or black. Moreover, in the process of the battle, it was possible to change capes, moving from one team to another. Swords were made from any improvised pieces of wood, but those made from discarded Christmas trees were especially valued (straight, and a crosspiece "like a real one" near the handle). How we did not cripple ourselves with these sticks - only God knows! Although there were plenty of bruises, scratches and abrasions, but so - nothing serious.
Usually we did not just fencing "wall to wall", but acted out some kind of plot. Any carnage began with an impromptu meeting, at which we all came up with the legend of the game together. Most often, these were some episodes from the film, slightly modified: “Today we have the defense of the redoubt (several houses and a slide on the playground :)) near the fortress of La Rochelle. But besides the Huguenots, a few more cardinal spies will attack from the rear!”. I remember that I always wanted to come up with a story that was more interesting. And during the next such "meeting" I said: "Why are we only in three musketeers are we playing?! After all, the book has sequels! ". And he told my little-read comrades that there are also other books by Dumas about 10 and 20 years later.
I confess that at that time I had not yet read these books :), I only heard about them. I hope old Dumas will forgive me, because then I began to compose my own continuations of the Three Musketeers, hiding behind his authority. These were short spoken improvisations, right before the game. Episodes were lightly edited by comrades, after which we brought them to life.
Over time, the general excitement around the Musketeers faded. But I made three (of course exactly that many! :)) good friends. We "fairly" alternated musketeer roles - everyone could be Athos, Porthos, Aramis or D "Artagnan. As a result, we not only played musketeers, but composed a continuation of the story with ourselves in the lead roles :). Soon we got tired of the musketeers, and some fantastic and adventurous stories about the conquest of unknown planets and travel to dangerous lands were used.What is surprising for me today is that the friendship based on stories turned out to be unexpectedly strong, and lasted all school years (after passing through various trials).
In high school and student years The target audience for my stories (and the stories themselves) has changed radically. Stories were now told exclusively for the beautiful half of humanity :). I am now very ashamed of them - because there was vanishingly little truth in them, but the flight of fantasy was not limited by anything. In general, it was that kind of storytelling in the style of Shakhnazar's "Courier" :) . (I will not) modestly note that the thesis "women love with their ears" has been repeatedly tested and confirmed;)).
Professional storytelling for a psychologist
I learned the word "storytelling" relatively recently, in 2010. But I began to work professionally with the stories themselves much earlier - since the beginning of my career as a practical psychologist-consultant in 1994.
I remember how, during my studies at the university, one of the teachers spoke about the fact that the Siberian peoples shamans are divided into "sitting" and "standing". "Seated" talk to the spirits with the help of texts - poetry, singing, prayers and spells. "Standing" interact with the spirits through rituals, music, dance, sacrifices and other manipulations. The ritual of the former is the creation of a text, the ritual of the latter is the unfolding of actions.
By direct analogy, modern psychotherapy can be divided into verbal and non-verbal. Verbal - where the main tool is speech, dialogue, expressive means of natural language. Non-verbal uses the body, movement, actions, etc. as tools of psychotherapy. Examples of verbal psychotherapy: all psychoanalysis, cognitive and rational psychotherapy, positive, etc. Non-verbal psychotherapy includes many varieties of art therapy and body psychotherapy.
For me, the choice was easy: "teleska" and art therapy, it's great, of course, but not mine :(. I like to take part in such practices, but I don't see them as my working tool. I like to work with Any discourse is good, but there are especially favorites: Jungian archetypes (especially in the psychoanalysis of fairy tales by M. von Franz and D. Campbell's "hero's journey"), the Lacanian/Deleuzian approach "language as the unconscious", the NLP-ist "structure of magic" and especially therapeutic metaphors by M. Erickson, parables in positive therapy by N. Pezeshkian, in cognitive and rational psychotherapy, I especially liked questioning techniques, with which you can help structure any personal story. full list! For example, narrative psychotherapy is quite popular today, the methods of which I also partly use in my work.
For non-psychologists, I will explain simply. The job of a psychologist is to listen to other people's stories.. Even if a person talks about some current problem, it is still necessary to restore the full context of its emergence and development. Deployment of the problem in time - this is history. And not only problems, but also the life of this person.
The "first move" in the communication between the psychologist and the client is always with the client - he tells a story about himself and his problem. The psychologist may choose different listening strategies: from maximum passivity (the principle of "dispassionate mirror" in psychoanalysis or non-reflexive listening in Rogerian psychology) to active participation-co-authorship in the client's story. The psychologist can guide and structure the client's story, for example by using question techniques.
I will add that not everyone has well-developed verbal abilities. Over the years of practice, I have met quite a lot of people for whom even a simple coherent story about themselves (their problem, their life, etc.) is very difficult. You literally have to “pull out” a story from them with the help of leading questions. This should be done very carefully (using open-ended questions) so as not to add too much to the story.
Sometimes it is enough just to tell/listen to the story. For example, for situations of acute grief, empathic listening is the number one method. For situations of breakup or loss The best way"outlive" them to the end - to tell (and maybe more than once) the story of these losses. Would you know how much amazing stories I have listened over the years! And not always tragic or terrible, namely amazing, in which grief and joy are closely intertwined. Over the years, I understand more and more that life is much richer and more diverse than books or movies. From time to time I joke that when I retire, when I quit studying psychology, I will start writing scripts for TV shows :) So many stories have already accumulated in me that it’s easy enough for several 100-episode soap operas :)).
But for now - ts-s-s, silentio! No one has canceled medical secrecy yet, and I, of course, guarantee complete confidentiality to my clients. Their stories are stored inside me more securely than in the Chernobyl sarcophagus. And by the way, there is significant difference: storytelling offers to make your personal story as open as possible (" Share it with other people and it will be easier!"), and in psychology, the story is put into the ears of only a trusted person - a psychologist or psychotherapist (" Give away your history. Put it in a secure safe and live freely. There will come a time when you're ready - take it back - cleaned and rethought").
I do not share the enthusiasm of storytellers who believe that any honest story told to the public is good. The story told begins to take on a life of its own, acquires new owners, and, sooner or later, will surely be used against us:(. This is a law that should always be remembered. I have several such cases, but one of the latest was the flash mob #I'm Not Afraid to Say in 2016 in social networks, when women - victims of sexual violence - openly told their stories. I admit that the problem sexual violence exists, we need to talk about it. But it is one thing to change public opinion, and quite another thing is the reaction of loved ones and the "near society" (at the level of our suburb). The neighboring society is morally and psychologically not ready to accept such stories, it does not want them There is rejection and reciprocal aggression; the victim of sexual violence is even more stigmatized, and instead of the long-awaited relief, the story-recognition gives rise to new pain and new misunderstanding. Instead of release, the victim of violence is even more convinced that "everything is bad with me" the consequences of such "storytelling" are already in the psychologist's office.
...Something I went to the side :) I return to the methodology: sometimes it is enough for a psychologist to act only as a listener to the story (which already helps to improve the emotional state of the client), but in the vast majority of cases, the psychologist acts as an active co-author. The meaning of the psychotherapeutic dialogue is in the transformation, in the "rewriting" of the client's story. New semantic accents are added to the story told by the client (and sometimes the meaning of the story as a whole changes); it contains new structural elements- details, characters, events, situations, etc.; there are unexpected plot moves, and perhaps the ending of the story changes.
I wrote my first psychotherapeutic stories for children, to correct children's fears. In Gianni Rodari's excellent book "A Grammar of Fantasy (Introduction to the Art of Storytelling)" I read the idea that you can re-invent fairy tales. Of course, good usually defeats evil anyway, but a fairy tale can be remade so that this victory is sophisticated :) and especially convincing. Such an unconditional victory gives the child a sense of control over fear. I began to remake scary tales with the children - more precisely, stories - "horror stories" that they composed themselves - and then I learned (from Alexander Ivanovich Zakharov) that such fairy tale therapy has been used for a long time. I consider A.I. Zakharov my Teacher; and all sorts of now popular Zinkevich-Evstigneevs :) appeared much later. By the way, at one time I even collected children's "horror stories"; under my scientific supervision, several theses about ways of responding to children's fears through stories.
Of course, I used stories not only with children, but also with adults. I heard something about fairy tale therapy, I didn’t know anything about storytelling then, but gradually I came to my own method of working with stories. I just called her - THREE ( Storytelling Technique); and in the early 2000s even held a couple of workshops for practical psychologists in our city "Storytelling Techniques in Child/Adult Psychotherapy". According to the reviews of colleagues, the system turned out to be quite working. In this note, I will not retell the THREE method :), otherwise the size of this not small text will increase three times)). But "maybe someday" ;) .
Later, I began to actively use stories on trainings personal growth and in vocational/career counseling. Here, for example, is a simple technique that is often used in personal growth training: "Draw your life path, and then tell a coherent story from this picture." According to this story, you can ask a lot of "enlightening" :) questions; and the picture itself can, if desired, be turned into a visual map of the future, supplementing it with high-quality time management (well-formulated goals and plans). But it is much more interesting when the author of the drawing tells the story of life based on the drawn picture, and jointly composes all the participants of the training. In this version, the story invented by the group sometimes gives surprisingly powerful insights.
A similar "essay" of his life path- as "the way of the hero" by Joseph Campbell - works quite well in career guidance/professional counseling for high school students and students. I will not write the details, my presentation on the topic "Storytelling: build your career!".
A lot of storytelling :))) was in my work as political consultant, or rather an image maker. As you understand, politics is applied myth-making, in which you have to not only edit the biography (and life :)) of a candidate to show how "great and terrible" he is, but also "package" political ideas candidate for compelling and understandable stories for the electorate.
As business consultant I used storytelling as a tool in solving three problems: 1) creating and promoting a brand ("Storytelling as a method of brand promotion"); 2) the formation of a strong organizational culture; 3) team building, increasing the cohesion of the workforce.
... something I'm tired of writing about myself beloved :), go to Annette Simmons
10 key storytelling ideas from Annette Simmons
1) In applied storytelling (stories told to influence others) there are only 6 main plots:
1. Stories like "Who am I" - a story about yourself, as open as possible, not hiding flaws
3. "Vision" stories - paint an exciting, vivid and graphic picture of the (common, shared) future for the audience
4. Instructive stories - teach new skills with specific examples
5. Stories showing "Values in Action" are the best way to convey the value of something - personal example(a story about a value choice made)
6. Stories that say "I know what you're thinking" - anticipate, anticipate doubts and objections.
2) Formally "story" = any narrative message taken from personal experience, imagination, literary or mythological source.
But in fact, "stories" are only those narratives that cause a strong emotional reaction, which we easily remember (often not on purpose, this is a kind of "emotional imprinting"), and which become part of our personality, changing our lives.
History is multidimensional. This means that any good story is a symbol, i.e. hides a whole package of meanings. And history is valuable to us personally precisely because in various life situations we can "print" it, and extract those meanings that we need now, are relevant at the moment. Moreover, this package of meanings can contain meanings that are directly opposite in sign and meaning - history is illogical.
I will add on my own that inner plan stories are always much richer than the outside. On the surface, this may be a simple parable or an anecdote that is easy to interpret. This is what novice psychologists sin - it seems to them that it is very easy to understand (and even more so interpret) the client's story / story. This is not true! Any story told is just the tip of the iceberg.
3) Well, I really liked the story about Nasreddin :) It seemed to me very relevant for the business education in which I work. It's just a training method :)
"Nasreddin, a wise, but at times simple-minded man, was once asked by the elders of one village to read a sermon in the mosque. Nasreddin, knowing that his head was full of wisdom, did not consider it necessary to prepare for it. On the first morning, he stood at the door of the mosque, puffed out his chest and began, “My beloved brethren, do you know what I am about to speak about now?” The people bowed their heads humbly and said to him, "We are simple poor people. How do we know what you are going to talk about?" Nasreddin proudly threw the half of his robe over his shoulder and pompously announced: "So I'm not needed here" and walked away.
Curiosity seized the people, and more people gathered outside the mosque the following week. Again, Nasreddin did not deign to prepare for the sermon. He stepped forward and asked, “My beloved brethren, how many of you know what I am about to speak about?” But this time the people did not lower their heads. "We know! We know what you'll be talking about!" Nasreddin threw the hem of his robe over his shoulder again and, saying, "So I'm not needed here," as he had done the previous week, he walked away.
Another week passed, and Nasreddin, as before, without preparation, appeared at the mosque. He confidently stepped forward and asked the same question: “My beloved brethren, who among you knows what I will speak about?” But this time, people met Khoja fully armed. Half of them said: "We are poor, simple people. How do we know what you're talking about?" The other half said: “We know! We know what you'll be talking about." Old Nasreddin thought for a moment and said: "Let those of you who know tell about it to those who do not know, and I am not needed here." With these words, he wrapped himself in a dressing gown and walked away.
But why is A. Simmons telling this story? People irrationally believe in their rationality :). We all think that we reasonable people"who are ready to impartially perceive only facts, and make their judgments about something only on the basis of facts. But in reality history is broader and larger than separate facts . History is a larger context in which we consciously (and often unconsciously) include the facts that we have.
From here there are three important applied conclusions: a) facts outside of history are ignored, overlooked; b) first you need to tell (clarify, update) the story, and only then present the facts in this context/frame; c) if you want to change the perception/understanding/assessment of facts, change the story in which they are included.
4) Good history = history representation= "theatre of one actor". The story deals with emotions, so ANY expressive means (ways of expressing and intensifying emotions) are good. Except means of expression speech/language, our whole body is involved in storytelling.
Practical conclusion: a good storyteller "pumps" and skillfully uses body language - facial expressions, pantomime, voice, plasticity, etc. In short, acting skills training is highly recommended :).
5) Purpose of history - integration. A good story builds bridges between the storyteller and the audience, between the listeners, between the audience and humanity, between the space of history and the vast outside world. History "sews together" heterogeneous and multidirectional interests, needs, goals with a common meaning.
There is always something more than our immediate needs. There is always something more valuable than the values actualized in a given situation. The story, as it were, "spreads" the situation and its understanding, bringing the audience to a new meta-level.
A good story helps you first feel (at the level of emotional involvement) that there is something more; then understand these meta-values and common goals; then accept them.
6) The scale of a good story is a holistic personality and its destiny(i.e. ALL life).
Our inner stories are the scripts we live by. This is our personal myth, in which we already have a rigidly fixed role (or roles). Many of our inner histories are laid down in us in childhood, at a preconscious age. And this means that our old stories will inevitably resist any new stories.
Can new stories "beat" old ones? Through direct conflict, victory is impossible. New stories can only "absorb" the old ones by including (integrating) them into themselves. A new story will take root only when it shows us a new "better" version of ourselves - more coherent and larger, based on our best qualities, but the host and the "past me". The new story gives the vision of a "new me in my new life" (throughout this lifetime).
On my own behalf, I’ll add that Simmons reveals this idea extremely indistinctly :(. But the idea itself is very good, and fits perfectly with Jungian individuation, Maslow’s self-actualization and other self-development methodologies.
7) Negative stories don't work! Even if we are trying to draw the attention of the audience to terrible and objectively unpleasant problems, we should not press on negative emotions. Stories should inspire, not kill hope.
Exist six difficult situations- emotional states of listeners - in which the influence of history weakens (and what to do to overcome these states):
1. Cynicism, skepticism, increased criticality - telling a story in such a way that it connects/includes the personal impressions/experience of the listeners, this will be the best evidence for them;
2. Resentment towards the narrator - to demonstrate respect for the individual; look for "intersection points"; fix common interests; show a common perspective (vision of a joint future);
3. Envy - / similar to item 2 /;
4. Hopelessness, discouragement, disbelief in success - a "value in action" story showing that change starts with us, and that even great changes start with small steps;
5. Apathy, lack of motivation, passivity - the cause of apathy usually lies in the fear of strong negative experiences, plus this is a consequence of a lack of strength, vital energy. We need stories about what makes us alive, what helps us find the sources of "living water" in ourselves and in the world around us;
6. Greed, selfishness - in general, the strategy is the same - the search for common interests, but I really liked the story (from the category of "alternative value in action" :)) from a book that can be told to selfish people:
“Once the animals gathered in the forest to decide which of them was the strongest. Each went out into the clearing and demonstrated what he was capable of. The monkey jumped up the tree, and then began to deftly jump from branch to branch. All the animals began to applaud her. Then an elephant came up to the same tree, uprooted it and lifted it up to the sky. All the animals agreed that the elephant was stronger than the monkey. But the man said: "I am stronger anyway." Everyone laughed - how could a man be stronger than an elephant? The man became angry and took out a gun. The animals scattered and fled forever from man. Man did not know the difference between strength and death. And animals are still afraid of his ignorance. "
8) There is a very good chapter in the book about the ability to listen. The principle is simple: before you tell a story, you need to listen to the story your audience. Otherwise, there simply will not be a common basis for conversation.
Personally, this chapter was of little use to me, because. listening skills are my daily working tool. I came up with two ideas for myself: a) stories are told not only by clients in my office :), and we need to pay more attention to random stories; b) less analytical and critical (especially in relation to random stories).
9) Narrator and listener - two equal and complementary roles. Proper storytelling is possible only when there is a position of partnership, equality and respect between all participants in the situation. Perhaps the biggest mistake in storytelling is to take on the role of an all-knowing guru who lectures down on an unintelligent audience. I can’t help but give a brilliant quote from a book about guruism:
"My friend, a successful writer, speaker and teacher, complained that people want to label her as a guru at all costs. Achieving influence requires pauses, and I did not say anything, but I wanted to say:" My dear, if they they stick to you so much, it means you provoke them to it yourself". Any person who has even a little charisma and can speak fluently can win over those who readily renounce independent thinking. Actually, the role of a guru is very tempting. But becoming an object of worship is very dangerous, because then the thinking public is automatically excluded from the field of your influence.
If such a condescending guru takes his eyes off the admiring faces of his followers for a moment, he will see less admiring faces. Eyebrows raised in surprise, glances averted - this is the answer of a thinking person to a condescending smile, long vague explanations and wise aphorisms. Those who are not part of a close circle of followers, the spirit of superiority will be annoying, and you will not be able to influence such people. Giving up the role of guru may disappoint fans, but in return, you may get a wider audience."
With which I completely agree :)
10) And the last super-idea from the book is 7 ways to find stories for storytelling:
1. Look for patterns: a variety of topics that reveal you as a person; stories about moments of spiritual uplift, proving that you are on the right track; recurring failures that encourage you to look for stories about why you are here; stories about your triumphs, about what they all together mean to you.
2. Look for regular sequences: remember the good and bad results of your efforts in the past, see how they can be used for future success; evaluate how good and bad results affected your relationships with people; read moral stories (such as Aesop's fables) to remember similar experiences in your life.
3. Learn lessons: remember critical situations and formulate the lessons you learned from them; remember the biggest mistakes you made; remember the moments when you were glad that you obeyed your parents; remember the turning point in your career and the lessons learned from it; look back and think about what you would do differently now.
4. Look for the good: remember the story that changed you, the story that organically intertwined with the old story; remember other people's stories that worked; Do you have a "home" story in your arsenal that could be useful in the workplace? Ask others to tell you a story that has influenced them and ask permission to use it.
5. Look for vulnerabilities: talk about your weak points; remember when and why you are in last time wept; remember the last time you were so happy that you wanted to start dancing; remember the moment when you wanted to hide under the table out of shame; remember touching family stories about those you truly loved.
6. Imagine future experiences: turn your “what could have been” dreams into a full story with real characters (people love to be included in stories); expand your misgivings into a full story with potentially bad consequences - what they will be and who will be hurt.
7. Find a story worth remembering: find a story you remember and explore its deeper meaning; You liked a movie or a book for a reason - try to tell its story from your point of view, so that others understand what meaning you see in it.
As a bonus, catch a mind map - not for the whole book, but only for 7 ways to find / create stories. When I read about these seven methods, I immediately had an idea - is it possible to create some kind of templates from these methods ( or "guides" as they are called in freewriting ;)), such as "once upon a time," from which you can not only start telling a story, but also which can become a kind of "skeleton", the basis of the story? In the mind map you will find such templates you can use to create your own stories. Of course, these are just the options that came to my mind, and you can always supplement them with your own author's ideas. The map below is clickable (to enlarge), this mindmap can also be downloaded in *.pdf formats
In the beginning, I also mentioned that I worked through the book using my IAD algorithm (Ideas - Questions - Actions). I don’t want to report in detail, I will publish here 10 questions that I formulated for myself after reading the book. I can only say that I am still working on answers to some of these questions. Maybe these questions (more precisely, the answers to them;)) will be useful to you:
1) Which plot (out of 6 typical ones) is the most relevant for me now? To achieve my life goals, what kind of stories do I need to tell now?
2) What stories have shocked me in the last 2-3 years? What stories have changed (and how?) me, become part of my personality?
3) History = yoga (Skt. "together") = rope to tie... what?! Why exactly do I need a story? What parts of my life / fate / World as a whole do I want to connect? What integrity, what unity do I lack?
4) Am I a good storyteller (and writer) of stories? What exactly, what specific skills do I need to "pump" in the ability to present stories orally and in writing?
5) Who is my listener? Who would I like to tell my stories to? What is the portrait of the "audience of my dreams"? :) And most importantly: what kind of "togetherness" can I offer my best audience?
6) What story(s) am I living in now? What are my roles/characters today? And what's next in the story? How can my today's stories end, what actions does the logic of my role push me to?
Do I want my story today to be immortalized in a book? Or is my real "personal myth" much bigger? Isn't it time to enlarge the scale of my today's story?
7) Which of the six barriers (cynicism, apathy, etc.) do I and my stories encounter? What can be done? Amplify stories? Change audience? Talk about anything else?
8) Whose stories do I like to listen to today? Why do I want to listen to them, why do I really need it?
9) What can I do to improve the dialogue with my audience? So that it really was an exchange of stories "on an equal footing"?
10) Where does my story take me? What ending do I want and can compose?
... these are the questions :) Believe me, while answering them, self-coaching turned out to be not frail :)) Try it!
Good luck and good storytelling ;)
If you liked / found this text helpful, be sure to check out "Tipping"!
What is this book about
Annette Simmons is a professional storyteller. She teaches this art to business people. In her book, she goes to the core of storytelling and explains how stories "work" and why they help build the listener's trust. The book deals with six types of stories that can be adapted to a variety of settings and audiences. Described different types"problem" listeners, who are especially difficult to influence. Besides,...
Read completelyWhat is this book about
The Indians have a saying: "Who tells stories, he rules the world." This truth can be confirmed by any storyteller. Every day he observes how the timely and correctly told story helps to influence a person.
Stories evoke emotions, they are perceived on a completely different level than orders, logical arguments or philosophical reasoning. After listening to your story, the person gains confidence in you, and it becomes much easier for you to convince, motivate or inspire him.
Annette Simmons is a professional storyteller. She teaches this art to business people. In her book, she goes to the core of storytelling and explains how stories "work" and why they help build the listener's trust. The book deals with six types of stories that can be adapted to a variety of settings and audiences. Different types of "problem" listeners are described, which are especially difficult to influence. In addition, the author gives advice on how to find stories, how to practice storytelling, how to behave in public.
Why we decided to publish this book
More than one generation of storytellers in the West has grown up on this book. Its first edition came out 10 years ago!
The Story Factor (this is the original title) was included in the book "The 100 Best Business Books of All Time".
book chips
On the pages of the book you will find more than a hundred stories - tales from the world of politics and business, fairy tales, legends, parables. Using their example, Annette analyzes all the opportunities that storytelling gives to people who want to influence others.
Who is this book for?
For people who have to perform in front of a large audience. And also for everyone who wants to learn how to convince their colleagues, partners, clients.
Storytelling. How to use the power of stories
Publishing text http://www.litres.ru/pages/biblio_book/?lfrom=430652910&art=5024483 Storytelling. How to Use the Power of Stories: Mann,
Ivanov and Ferber; M.; 2013 ISBN 978-5-91657-507-1
annotation
Storytelling, or storytelling, is a persuasion technique that is widespread in the West. The author of this book, Annette Simmons, is not only a communications consultant. She is also a professional storyteller who teaches this art to business people.
In her book, she gets to the heart of storytelling and explains how stories “work,” how they affect the listener’s emotions, and why they convince, motivate, and inspire better than orders, logical reasoning, or philosophical reasoning.
This book will be useful to anyone who has to speak to a large audience, as well as those who want to improve the effectiveness of communications.
Annette Simmons Storytelling. How to use the power of stories
© Annette Simmons, 2006 © Russian translation, Russian edition, layout. LLC "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2013
The electronic version of the book was prepared by Litres (
www.litres.ru)
The author dedicates this book to the memory of Dr. James Noble Farr
Foreword
Once, in a convention center nestled among picturesque green hills, I was leading a seminar on storytelling, the art of oral storytelling. The gentle Virginian climate had slowly melted the ice shell that had shackled me through the long Boston winter. The enthusiasts gathered in the hall were friendly and benevolent. And suddenly I noticed in this crowd a truly radiant face, in it, as if in a mirror, my whole story was reflected. I realized that I hit the target - a spiritual connection arose between me and this listener.
After the performance, I tracked down this girl and immediately realized that she did not quite fit into the company of teachers, lecturers, religious mentors and just lovers of storytelling: Annette Simmons and her friend Cheryl DeChantis came from the world of big business. And both were terribly excited about the prospects that our art promised this field of activity.
I regarded their venture with suspicion, if not skepticism: the world of business was terribly far from me. Do they really think that directors, managers, salespeople - all these people who are accustomed to operate only with accounting calculations - will be seriously interested in my art and will be able to derive some benefit from it?
However, Annette convinced me. At the time, she was working for a company as a “difficult situations” consultant: explaining to cool managers how to solve problems with “uncomfortable” people. Annette weaned them from the crude tactics of street fighters and instilled in them the graceful skills of martial artists.
By understanding the meaning of storytelling, she was able to delve into the details that, in fact, make it an effective business tool. Annette fully felt the full power - even if indirect - of this peculiar form of communication. Her knowledge of the basics of the communication effect of advertising also helped her: Annette managed to combine both approaches and received a powerful method of influence as a result.
Very soon I felt like not only a teacher, but also a student. I helped Annette understand the art of storytelling, and she helped me become an ambassador for storytelling in the big business world. Now Annette has written a book that, like any good book, demonstrates the truth in such a way that it simply cannot be overlooked.
What is valuable in it? This book brings together three closely related ideas. First, the revival of storytelling in our advanced world and the understanding of the mental and emotional processes that storytelling unleashes. Second: the growing understanding in the business community that the success of an enterprise is possible only when the people working in it give their physical and mental strength to the cause; otherwise, it turns out to be a hack, from which both employees and companies suffer. And finally, the third: storytelling helps us use achievements practical psychology and achieve a sustainable impact on people while maintaining respect for them.
Copyright © 2006 Annette Simmons
© Translation into Russian, edition in Russian, design. LLC "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2013The electronic version of the book was prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)
In memory of the doctor
James Noble Farr
the author dedicates this book
Foreword
Introduction
It was October 1992. It was a windy day with typical Tennessee weather. Four hundred people gathered in a tent covered with dense fabric. We were waiting for the next speaker. The people crept up the most different - city fashionistas and harsh farmers, professors and undergraduate students. Sitting next to me was a grey-bearded farmer wearing a National Rifle Association baseball cap. When the African American entered the stage, the farmer leaned over to his wife, who was sitting next to him, and whispered something in her ear in annoyance. I disassembled the word "nigga" and decided that I would not forget if he once again say something like that. But the farmer fell silent and began to study the canvas shed with a bored look. And the speaker began his story about how in the sixties, somewhere in the outback of Mississippi, he and his friends were sitting around the fire at night. The civil rights march was scheduled for tomorrow, and the people were afraid of the coming morning, they didn't know what it would bring them. Everyone silently looked at the flame, and then one of them sang ... And the song conquered fear. The story was so talented that we all saw that fire in front of us and felt the fear of those people. The narrator asked us to sing along with him. We sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. The farmer next to me also sang. I saw a tear running down his weathered cheek. So I was convinced of the power of the word. The radical black rights activist was able to touch the heart of an ultra-conservative racist. I longed to understand how he did it.
This book is about what I have learned in the last eight years. It's about the mastery of storytelling, the power of persuasion in a good story. I write about everything I know about this wonderful art.
While studying storytelling, I realized one very important thing. The science or art of influencing through oral storytelling cannot be taught in the traditional way, from handbooks and manuals. To understand what influence is, we have to abandon convenient models of cause and effect. The magic of influence is not in what we say, but in as we say, as well as in what we are ourselves. This dependence is not amenable to rational analysis and cannot be described using the usual schemes and tables.
The dismemberment of the art of storytelling into fragments, parts and priorities destroys it. There are truths that we simply know; we cannot prove them, but we know they are true. Storytelling takes us to areas where we trust our knowledge, even if we cannot measure, weigh it or evaluate it empirically.
This book will give your "rational" left brain a little rest. For the most part, it appeals to the "intuitive" right hemisphere. The secret of the influence of oral story is based on the creativity of people. But this ability to be creative can be stifled by the erroneous postulate that if you can't explain what you know, then you don't know it. In fact, we all have knowledge that we are not even aware of. Once you begin to trust your own wisdom, you can use it to influence others and encourage them to discover the depths of wisdom they have not yet realized.
Your wisdom and persuasive power are like a bag of magic beans that you put in a drawer and forgot about. This book is written just so that you can find that very bag and regain the oldest tool of influence - oral history. Stories are not only fairy tales and moralizing stories. Telling a good story is like watching documentary, tell about it so that others, those who have not seen it, have a complete picture of it. A good story can touch the soul of the most stubborn opponent or the power-hungry villain who blocks your path, depriving you of the opportunity to achieve your goals. If you are not sure that the villain also has a soul, I advise you to reconsider the movie The Grinch Stole Christmas. Everyone has a soul. (Actually, there are not many dangerous sociopaths in the world.) And deep down, every person wants to be proud of themselves and feel their importance - this is where the opportunity to influence him with the right story lies.
In this book, I often use my own stories as examples and often talk about myself. I tried my best to use the pronoun “I” as little as possible, but storytelling is a purely personal matter. I really hope that as you discuss my stories, you will begin to think about your own. You will understand that your best stories talk about what happened or is happening to you. Never even stutter as if there is “nothing personal” about the subject of your story. If the subject is important, then it is always personal. In order for your story to reach the listener and influence him in the way you would like, you do not need to hide what is on your mind. In fact, it is the soul that tells the most compelling stories. Tell your story, the world needs it.
Chapter 1
Six main plots
To be human is to have a story to tell in reserve.
Skip looked into the faces of the shareholders, who were clearly wary and even hostile, and frantically thought about how to convince them. He is thirty-five years old, but he looks like a teenager, and besides, he is a rich man in the third generation: a suspicious combination. Not surprisingly, his appointment to a leadership position seems like a disaster to them. And then Skip decided to tell them a story.
At my first job, he began, I was engaged in the design of ship electrical networks. Errors in design and drawing up were not allowed, because after laying the wires and cables, the mold was filled with fiberglass and the slightest oversight could cost the company a million dollars, no less. By the age of twenty-five, I already had two master's degrees. I spent my whole life on ships, and in the end, these drawings, these diagrams, for me, to be honest, turned into a meaningless routine. Early one morning I got a phone call from some shipyard worker, one of those who earns six dollars an hour, and asked: am I sure about my scheme? I exploded. Of course I'm sure! "Pour in that damn mold and don't wake me up this early!" An hour later, the foreman of that guy called me and again asked if I was sure that the scheme was correct. This completely pissed me off. I yelled that I was sure of it an hour ago and I still am.
It wasn't until the president of the company called me and asked the same question that I finally got out of bed and rushed to work. If they want me to personally poke their nose into the blueprint, well, I'll poke it. I tracked down the worker who called me first. He sat at the table over my diagram and carefully examined it, strangely tilting his head. Trying my best to control myself, I patiently began to explain. As I spoke, my voice became less and less confident, and my head took on the same strange inclination as the worker's. It turned out that I (being left-handed by nature) mixed up the sides and swapped the starboard and port sides, and the result was a mirror image of what should have been. Thank God, the worker was able to notice my mistake in time. The next day I found a box on my desk. To warn me against future mistakes, the guys gave me a pair of multi-colored tennis shoes: a red left one for the port side, a green right one for the starboard side. These shoes remind me not only about the location of the boards, but also that you need to listen to what you are told, even if you are one hundred percent sure that you are right. And Skip raised those multicolored shoes over his head.
The shareholders smiled and calmed down. If this youngster has already been punched in the nose for his arrogance and has been able to learn from it, then perhaps he will be able to understand how to run a company.
believe me
People don't need new information. They are fed up with her. They need Vera- faith in you, in your goals, in your success. Faith—not facts—moves mountains. Just because you can get people to do something doesn't mean you can influence them. True influence is when people raise the banner you drop because they believe in you. Faith overcomes every obstacle. She is able to defeat everything - money, power, power, political advantage and brute force.History can give people faith. If your story inspires the audience, if they come to the same conclusions as you, if they make your story his, you can consider that you managed to get through to them. Further influence will not require much effort - it will grow on its own as people retell your story to others.
It doesn't matter what form your story takes, whether it's visual, proven throughout your life, or whether you put it into words. The main thing is that she answers one single question: can you be trusted? Skip's story shows that even multimillionaires can have influence problems. If influence were a simple derivative of power and money, then Skip would have no difficulty, since he has both. However, there are times when power and wealth turn into a disadvantage.
Isn't Skip's act a clever manipulation? Maybe. But it will immediately be revealed as soon as he stops. As soon as the manipulator stops weaving his web, it inevitably begins to break. Manipulation (that is, the desire to make people believe in a false story) is the most primitive form of influence. There are much more powerful sources of influence available to any person with the most ordinary life experience. These sources are genuine, compelling stories.
We can divide the stories that will help you achieve influence into six types. Here they are:
1. Stories like "Who am I"
2. Stories that explain "Why I'm here"
3. Stories about "vision"
4. Instructive stories
5. Stories Demonstrating Values in Action
6. Stories that say "I know what you're thinking"
The first thing people you want to influence is asking themselves two questions: “Who is he?” and "Why is he here?" Until they get answers to these questions, not a single word of your faith will be. The shareholders that Skip sought to influence were, above all, eager to understand who he was. At first, they decided that before them was another heir to a large fortune, who decided to play a tough businessman. And Skip had to replace the story "We can't trust such a person," which the shareholders had already told themselves, with new history which gave them faith in him.
Skip could say, "Yes, I'm rich, I'm young, and I just bought a majority stake in your company, but don't worry... I'm not an arrogant know-it-all." Formally, these words have the same essence as the story he told. But there is a huge difference between the effect of a story and the effect of a simple statement: "I can be trusted."
Before you try to influence someone, convey your “message”, “vision” of the problem, you will have to inspire trust among your interlocutors. Statement like "I good man(smart, moral, tactful, influential, informed, resourceful, successful - take your pick) and therefore worthy of your trust”, most likely, on the contrary, will arouse suspicion. People have to come to this conclusion themselves. But there is usually not enough time to build experiential trust, and the best thing you can do is tell a story. History is the only way to show who you are. Other ways - persuasion, bribery, or fiery appeals - are the essence of nudge strategies. Storytelling is an attraction strategy. If the story is good enough, then people will of their own free will come to the conclusion that you and your words can be trusted.
So what do you want to talk about?
So, we already understood that before people allow themselves to be influenced, they will want to know who you are and what you are here for. If you don't tell, people will do it for you, and their opinion will almost certainly not be in your favor. Such is already human nature: people are sure that the one who seeks influence expects to extract some benefit for himself. At the same time, they are initially convinced that they want to receive this benefit at their expense. I repeat, this is human nature. Therefore, you will have to tell your story in such a way that everyone understands that this person can be trusted. Stories can be different - depending on the situation. Imagine an extreme scenario: a “green” hooligan is desperately trying to get into a street gang. The “oldies” will surely believe him if he tells them a true story about how he stole something somewhere (or did something else like that). I know that getting into a street gang is not your plan, so you will have to tell stories that confirm your high morals or, if you are going into business, your ability to do business. Any stories that have meaning and meaning to the listeners, but at the same time give them the opportunity to understand what kind of person you are, will work.Think of people who have ever tried to influence you, be it a leader, a colleague, a salesperson, a volunteer activist, a preacher, a consultant. Remember which of them succeeded and which failed. Did you agree with them because they managed to influence you, or did they influence you because you initially agreed with them? Why did you believe one and not the other? It was probably important for you to understand what kind of people they are and what benefits they want to derive from cooperation with you. And no matter how much they talk about the benefits “for you personally”, about your potential interest, no matter what arguments and rationale they give, in fact, you still passed every word through a trust filter based on your own judgment about who is speaking and why is it said.
A consultant who sells an idea will waste time extolling its merits if he fails to connect with listeners from the very beginning. Most often, his audience is firmly convinced that all consultants are more interested in paying for their services than in the success of their clients, and will not listen to what they are broadcasting until they encounter an honest specialist, for whom business comes first, and fees secondary. The new chairman of some public committee should not move on to the agenda before the members of the committee stop looking at him as another benefactor of mankind and a politically engaged careerist. A priest who does not empathize with people will not be able to guide anyone on the path of love and forgiveness. The impassioned calls of the quality manager to improve customer service will not lead to anything if employees believe that "this guy does not understand anything in real life."
According to a survey conducted several years ago by the New York Times and CBS News, sixty-three percent of respondents believe that they should be as careful as possible in dealing with others, and the remaining thirty-seven percent believe that "most people will try to use them at the first opportunity. for your own benefit." It is hardly worth doubting the reliability of these data. Therefore, your first task is to try to convince people that you can be trusted. How to do it? The answer is in the survey results themselves. Respondents stated that 85 percent of the people they knew could be expected to be honest and sincere. Well well! Is it really that simple? Let people know who you are, help them feel they know you, and their trust in you will automatically triple. Remember the common phrases: “He is a normal man, I know him” or “It’s not that I don’t trust her, I just don’t know her.”
How can we expect people to trust and be willing to succumb to our influence if they don't know who we are? When communicating, we spend too much energy on referring to the “rational” half of the brain, forgetting about the “emotional” half. But she does not tolerate neglect. The “emotional half” does not perceive rational evidence, it lives according to the principle “God saves the safe” and never loses its vigilance.
Stories on the theme "Who am I"
We already know that the first question people ask when they realize that you want to influence them is “Who is he?” Naturally, you want to make a certain impression about you. For example, if you make me laugh, then I will immediately conclude that you are not a bore, calm down and start listening to you. However, if you start your speech with the words "I am very interesting person', then I'll look around for a way out. That is, you must show who you are, not to tell then you will be more likely to believe.Even experienced speakers are always subjected to a difficult test. I recently had the pleasure of listening to Robert Cooper, author of Executive EQ. He had to speak to an audience of nine hundred people. The public greeted him as "another consultant" who had written some kind of book. Arms crossed on the chest, skeptical glances - everything indicated that the listeners suspected him of another clown who would begin to broadcast about the importance of "emancipation of emotions" or begin to tell things obvious to everyone. However, the story with which he began his speech answered unspoken questions, confirmed his sincerity, and in such a way that all nine hundred people understood who he was, what he believed in and why.
Robert talked about his grandfather. Grandpa suffered four heart attacks and died of a fifth when Robert was sixteen. Despite poor health, the grandfather spared no effort for long conversations with his grandson, he generously shared his rich life experience. We listened to this story, and Robert's love for his grandfather was transmitted to us, we saw him through the eyes of a loving teenager. “If a person’s mind were judged by the expressiveness of his gaze, then, I’m not afraid to say, my grandfather would be recognized as a genius.” Robert told us about the disease that was slowly killing his grandfather. He told how, after each heart attack, he called his grandson to his place to share his thoughts, and the guy understood that each such meeting could be the last. Grandfather usually began with the words: “I kept thinking about what is the most important thing in life, and I realized: the most important thing is ...” We listened as if spellbound. We wanted to know what was the insight of this extraordinary man. After each attack, the “most important thing” changed, and Robert cheered us up by confessing his then-teenage fears: he was afraid that his grandfather would ask what was the most important thing after the last heart attack.
We were still smiling when Robert revealed to us the old man's last words: “Grandfather said: give the world all the best that you have, and this best will return to you. Then he added: I keep asking myself, why didn’t I think every day about what is best in me? How much good could then come back to me... To your father... To you. But it won't come back, because now it's too late for me... But not for you. We held our breath as we felt the tragic force of the regrets of a man standing on the edge of a grave. "Too late for me." We are all human and we will all die someday. Each of those present in the hall suddenly realized that the end awaited him, and possible regret about the missed opportunity to do good. Robert did not push or force us to do anything, but his eyes shone with such sincerity that we understood that he had the right to tell us his story. Only complete cynics could now doubt that Robert Cooper could be trusted.
These personal stories help others to truly see who you really are. They allow you to show yourself from a side that sometimes remains unknown even to the closest.
But there are many other ways to show listeners "who you are."
You don't have to tell a story from your own life to do this. In this book you will find parables, fables, tales, cases from the life of great people. Any story is good, as long as you can tell it in a way that reveals the essence of your personality.
If the story speaks of self-sacrifice, we believe that the narrator knows how to combine his interest with sincere compassion and willingness to help. If, after listening to a story, we understand that the one who told it is able to admit his mistakes and shortcomings, this means that in difficult situations he will not hide behind the denial of the obvious, but will honestly try to correct the situation.
