At the mention of the profession of a geologist, we immediately imagine a bearded man in a woolen sweater, who walks through the taiga with a backpack on his shoulders in the daytime in search of gold, and in the evening sings songs with a guitar by the fire. It turns out that this stereotype is wrong. The myths associated with this profession were dispelled by the head of the department of computer modeling of minerals, Sergey Dyuzhev.
Geologist. Romance and pragmatics
What does the profession of a geologist imply?
Mineral raw materials in our country occupies the lion's share of the economy. A geologist is now, as before, a profession in demand. Just like in the Soviet Union, it combines romance and pragmatism. The most common opinion about our profession is that a geologist came into the field, dug a ditch and found gold. This is not true. In fact, the profession of a geologist is very multifaceted: ore and non-ore geology stands out, engineering geology, hydrogeology, petroleum geology. But practical output for the most part, there is always one - it is the search and exploration of mineral deposits. Separately, scientific geology, which deals with theoretical support of work, stands out.
- Tell us about the working days of a geologist.
The everyday life of a geologist has not changed much since Soviet Union. Of course, progress does not stand still, and now you can see both a computer and a satellite phone in the field. Gone are such exotic things as many kilometers of reindeer crossings, core documentation in a tent in minus 50 degrees and much more. But the very principle and meaning of geological work remained unchanged. No matter how “smart” the computer is, you can talk about the deposit only when you yourself came to the place, took samples and gave them for analysis. A geologist's whole life is divided into two stages: the field and the stage of cameral processing of material. In geology, several stages of work are distinguished. The first stage is the search for mineral deposits, i.e. A geologist comes into the field and starts looking. If there is a result of the search, then the next stage begins - exploration. Here the geologist's task is to calculate how much of what you have found there.
After the end of the field season, the acceptance of field materials follows. At the end of each year, the party presents what it has accumulated during this time, provides graphic applications, invoices. Upon completion of all work, a geological report is written, which is then given to the funds for eternal storage. Therefore, it is very important to take your work seriously, always remember that your materials will be used by descendants.
- How is the field season organized?
The work begins with the formation of a field party (this is a working group of geologists), then in the first year a tent camp is built on the site. Field work begins: geologists go on routes, take samples, also conduct geophysical surveys, if necessary, start mining.
Photo: depositphotos.com
We are looking for a deposit
How do you find mineral deposits?
There are practically no places left in Russia where a human foot has not set foot at all. There is practically no chance that no work has been carried out in this area before you. Therefore, work usually begins with an analysis and generalization of the results of previous work in different years. Based on this, the so-called promising areas are allocated, after which a decision is made to issue a license to work in this particular area. Now great attention is given to risk assessment, one cannot rely on luck and take an area with one sample of gold for research. There must be prerequisites for starting work in a particular area, this is preceded by serious analytical work.
- How are things going with the deposits in our region?
Amur region since Russian Empire- one of the leading regions in gold mining, so the main wealth of the Amur subsoil is precious metals - gold, silver. The most famous deposits are Pokrovskoye, Pioneer, Malomyr, Albyn, Berezitovoye, Bamskoye.
Tool
What does a geologist use at work? What tools does he use?
At the initial stage of work, geologists use a compass, a hammer, a pick during research. And at the stage of a more detailed study of the field, heavier equipment is already being used - wells are drilled, ditches and trenches are traversed.
Naturally, now at all stages of work the computer is widely used. It is used when deciphering satellite images, for maintaining and replenishing databases, for building plans and sections. Moreover, at present, a special class of programs is being distinguished that allows you to quickly and accurately model ore bodies and calculate reserves.
But it must be remembered that, despite the unique equipment and new technologies, the most valuable thing in geology was, is and will be people.
About personal
- How are relations developing among geologists, within the team?
Human relations play an important role in geology. You, of course, must follow the orders of the boss, but, nevertheless, the relationship with him is human. I figured out why for a long time. Because everyone in the field eats from the same pot. Nothing brings people together like a meal together! (Laughs.) Of course, the party has a chief geologist, to whom local geologists and geologists-executors report. There is also a staff with secondary specialized education - geotechnical technicians who are involved in sampling.
In general, geology is a very serious and responsible work. It practically does not lend itself to control and regulation - everything is on our conscience. The geologist knows: where he went, no one else will follow him. Therefore, all our work is based on mutual trust and honesty.
- And how to create a family if you often travel?
It should be said that the geologist must be prepared for constant parting. This applies not only to family, but also to friends and acquaintances. It looks like you're falling out of ordinary life when the field season is in progress. But the good news is that anyway, with close friends you stay close, pleasant meetings with them please, even if they are short. Concerning family life, there are two options: you either find your soul mate among geologists and you actually do not part, or you go through life alone. Geologists, as a rule, in family life either very well or very badly, there is no middle ground. (Laughs.)
Biography
Sergey Dyuzhev comes from the city of Novoshakhtinsk Rostov region, Studied at Rostov State University. I chose this profession because it just became interesting. In the process of industrial practices, I got to Far East, first to the Khabarovsk Territory, then to the Amur Region, where he remained.
One day a Chukcha and his son are hunting in the taiga. They see a squirrel. Pff!
“However, the skin.” They see an elk. Pff! “However, meat.” See -
geologists. Pff! Pff! Pff! “However, matches.
South Pole. A Chukchi and a geologist are sitting.
- A geologist, a tale, a zenshin is completely white?
- It happens!
- Is it completely black?
- It happens!
- Can a zenshin be half black, half white?
- No, it doesn't.
So it was a penguin.
Geologists have found a boy raised in a family of woodpeckers. A week later, he zadolbal all!
American geologists have discovered some Arab country over their oil deposits.
The geologist on the route stumbles upon a hut in the forest.
Comes in, and there is a grandmother sitting.
- Hello, says, grandmother!
- I am a geologist, I am looking for oil, can I spend the night with you?
- Why can't you? Stay the night.
- But I'm not alone, but with a geophysicist.
- And you, my dear, tie him in the hallway.
- ...
The Chukchi takes a Russian geologist with him to hunt and asks:
- Do you ski fast?
- Candidate for master of sports, of course quickly.
- Okay, are you a good shooter?
- From fifty steps I hit a 3 kopeck coin.
- Good. Tell me, are you smart?
- Well, professor, anyway ..
In general, the Chukchi took a geologist with him. They left for thirty kilometers,
see a polar bear. The Chukchi raises his carbine and shoots the bear in the paw.
The bear in a rage rushes at the hunters, and they rush to run away from
him. After running ten kilometers, the geologist comes up with the thought: "What am I,
Am I actually running away? I have a carbine!” He stops,
shoots the bear in the head and kills it. The Chukchi approaches him:
- Yes, you shoot well, but a fool, however! You are now twenty
can you carry it for miles?
I bought a Chukchi KamAZ from geologists.
Meet in a couple of weeks.
- Well, Chukchi, how do you like KamAZ?
- Wow, nice car. The cabin is warm, the body is wide... Adnaka dogs get tired quickly...
ITARTAS informs: Ukrainian geologists have discovered a large oil field on the territory of Ukraine, but the development of the field is very difficult, as it moves across the territory at high speed in iron tanks.
The geologist asks the Chukchi:
- How often do you wash?
- Every time in the summer.
- And in winter?
- And how much that winter ...
The Chukchi sits on the bank of the river and sings: "a million scarlet roses, red, yellow, green." Then geologists drove up on an all-terrain vehicle and asked:
- Chukchi, what are you doing?
- I sing a song. - It is clear that you will sing a song, but what is "red, yellow, green"? - Color music, however.
Goes geologist on the tundra in a car. Suddenly the engine stalled. He went out, digs into the motor. The Chukchi rides on deer.
- Hey man, you want three for a bottle magic words say?
- Not.
Two days later, the Chukchi comes back, and the geologist is still fiddling with the car.
- Well, do you want to say three magic words?
- All right, speak up!
- However, a tractor is needed!
Exhibition of works by reindeer breeders. The first picture: three reindeer in a team, a drunken reindeer herder in a sledge Title: "Workdays at the Krivoy v Rog reindeer herding farm." The second picture: three drunken reindeer in a team, a drunken reindeer herder in a sledge. , Saturday, Sunday". The third picture: three drunken reindeer herders in a team, a drunken deer in a sled. Title: "Reindeer herding national holiday "Deer Day". Fourth scene: three drunken reindeer herders in a team, a drunken bearded man in a sled. Title: "National holiday "Geologist's Day"
An old Chukchi teaches a young one to hunt.
Killed a seal, says:
- Meat, skin, fat.
Deer killed:
- Meat, skin, fat.
- Got it, though?
Young replies: - However, I understand!
- Well, come on, however, yourself!
The young man left. He comes back with something.
- Geologist. Alcohol, matches, cartridges, canned food, tobacco!
Chukchi and a geologist collect pebbles on ocean shore. Suddenly they see a hungry man heading towards them polar bear. There is no gun. The Chukchi grabs his skis and starts putting them on. Geologist:
- Useless. You can't run faster than a bear anyway.
“And I don’t have to run faster than a bear.” I need to run faster than you!
The geologist went to the river, he needs to go to the other side, and here the Khant is sailing along the river in a boat. Khantu geologist:
- Hey, hunt, take it to the other side.
Hunt to a geologist:
- It was winter, what did you think?
- With what error do you count reserves?
- We count without errors.
Geologists somewhere in Chukotka unexpectedly quickly finished off the entire supply of provisions. How to be? Let's go looking. We met Chukchi.
- Hey, do you have a store nearby?
- There is, however.
- And how to get to it?
- And sit on the dog and go there, everything is straight and straight. Turn right on Thursday...
Once a Chukchi brought a Geologist to the frontier and said: - However, the spy was caught. He is asked: - What makes you think that this man is a spy? - So, however, I go, I see: this man is standing and knocking on the rock with a hammer. I ask: "Who are you?" And he: "Head of the party." The Chukchi is not a fool, the Chukchi knows who our head of the Party is!
The Ministry of Natural Resources is holding a meeting on the PSA, listening to a report on the implementation of agreements on Sakhalin.
Geologists report that they will soon reach the Permian deposits and oil will flow.
Minister Artyukhov listens and suddenly says:
"All clear. But one thing is not clear: who came up with the idea to haul oil from Perm to Sakhalin?”
Once upon a time there were two geologists in the taiga. And now they ran out of food, and the helicopter with big earth everything doesn't fly. There was nothing to do, he took one gun and went to hunt for game, and the second remained at home on the farm. As soon as the hunter left the hut, he met a bear. Bach - Babah! ... and past. And the bear rushes after the man. Well, man on skis. Runs, runs to the saving hut. And the bear is behind him: it’s about to catch up and devour him. Here it is, the door, you just need to run in and close it. And then the man stumbles on the porch and falls. The bear, according to the laws of inertia, flies past the geologist inside. A man jumps up, closes the door tightly and shouts out the window: “Vasya, take the skin off this one for now, and I’ll go and get something else” ...
Two Chukchis are returning from hunting, dragging a walrus by the tail, which rests its fangs on the snow, making it difficult to drag.
A geologist came across them:
- You better drag your fangs - it will be easier!
So the Chukchi did. They go further, share their impressions:
- Hey, - says one, - it has become much easier. However, that geologist is smart.
- No, - says another, - but the geologist is a fool. Look, they've come to the sea again!
Once a Chukchi brought a Geologist to the frontier and said:
- However, the spy caught.
He is asked:
- What makes you think that this man is a spy?
- So, however, I go, I see: this man is standing and knocking on the rock with a hammer. I ask: "Who are you?" And he: "Head of the party." The Chukchi is not a fool, the Chukchi knows who our head of the Party is!
River bank in the tundra near the Arctic Circle. Expended on the way, a hungry and angry geologist stumbles upon a Chukchi sitting with a fishing rod next to a hill of fresh fish. Hunger overcomes awkwardness, and the dialogue goes something like this:
- Chukchi, treat me with a fish ?!
- I can not, however. The boss doesn't say.
Pause. Geologist found:
- Listen, Chukchi, and who is the Chief Chief in these parts?
- However, I...
- Chief, let me take the fish!
- Take, however, and eat for health as much as you want!
to the minister natural resources Artyukhov is visited by the general director of a geophysical enterprise with a report:
"The General Staff is offended by us, we stopped issuing them gravimetric maps."
Minister angrily:
“Don’t hang noodles on my ears! I have been building roads all my life and I know that everything is fine with gravel in our country.”
The surveyor asks the geologist:
- With what error do you calculate reserves?
We count without errors.
It turns out that all dinosaurs were the same.
It's just that different paleontologists collected them in different ways!
A local historian asks a local resident:
- Is there any legend connected with that high mountain?
- Yes, there is such a story. One day, two geologists climbed to the very top, and since then no one has seen them.
- How mysterious! And what happened to them?
- And they went down the other side.
The student is trying to hang noodles on the teacher's ears:
- Last season I found a beryl crystal - that's how my hand is!
- Come on, youngster, fill it up! Such hairy crystals do not exist in nature.
One geologist was going to go to the emerald mines, to dig green pebbles. And he says to his wife:
- I'm going to the Urals. And do not argue, I'm tired that our collection is without an emerald.
Wife:
- I know you, you will dig up a lot again, but you will drink every single stone on the way back.
Geologist:
- Do not grind too much, otherwise you will jinx it, - I firmly decided to go!
No sooner said than done, backpacks-hammers collected and left.
A month has passed. Knock on the door. The wife opens, and a drunken husband stands on the threshold.
With a dull look, he rests on his wife and takes out a pood green crystal from his backpack.
Wife: Ahh!!! And he, slowly raising his index finger:
- Wow, croaked again! Here, as last time, all the stones were expensive and squandered.
The current one is the smallest, this one, and remained ...
Geological practice in Kamchatka.
For the first time looking into the crater of the volcano, the student says to the teacher:
- Doesn't it look like hell?
Oh, those students! - the professor exclaims, - they saw everything, they visited everywhere ...
A woman comes to the tailor's atelier:
- Please sew me a nightgown 3 meters long.
- Why are you so long?
So my husband is a geologist. For him, the main thing is the search, not the final result.
Lecturer in the route in geological practice warns students:
- Now we will go along a very dangerous cliff, be careful!
- But if one of you falls off, then let him not forget to look to the right - in flight, a view of a unique outcrop with a pegmatite vein will open ...
There are two crystals, one transparent and the other fractured.
The first one asks:
- At the hot fire?
- Campfire...
- Geologist?
- Geologist...
- Tried to determine?
- No, no, it came, bastard ...
Trainee for the huntsman of the Ilmensky Reserve:
- Tell me, please, can you take a sample from this mine?
- Not!
- Uh-huh, but then why are there so many fresh fragments around?
- From those who don't ask stupid questions.
A conversation between two future geologists:
- Do you know how to hold a hammer so as not to hit yourself on the finger?
- Well?
- With two hands...
A lone pensive geologist is walking through the taiga,
and a hefty woman with a gun meets him, and how she screams:
- A geologist, and even with a hammer in his hand! Looks like you're planning to take me by force?!?
Geologist, in dismay: - What are you, yes, I don’t even think ...
Baba: - And you have to!
To get lost in the taiga to find out where the south is,
you have to look at the tree.
If the tree is a palm tree, then you are already in the south.
The old professor returns before time from the route to the camp.
- Have you come for additional packaging, professor? - asks his student.
- No, for a new hammer.
At customs, a policeman stops a car with geologists:
- Diamonds, emeralds, drugs???
Old professor:
- No, my dear, - a cup of coffee, please!
Mankind is so crazy
that the minerals found by geologists
uses to pollute the environment.
Geologists fall into the hands of cannibals. The leader says to them:
- Whoever tells a new anecdote, let him go to continue collecting stones.
But I warn you - we have the Internet!
Each profession has its own criteria for intoxication. A carpenter drinks to the grave, a doctor - until he loses his pulse, a geologist - until he is exposed, a geophysicist - until he loses contact, but our drillers drink until they backwash, a volcanologist - until strong eruption, a paleontologist - until complete petrification, a seismologist - until he starts shaking, a mineralogist - until he turns blue. An ecologist drinks until he turns green, and a petrographer drinks until he sees the world in polarizing light. A crystallographer will drink until an axis of symmetry of infinite order appears in his head, and a gemologist until he sees the sky in diamonds...
Good for a geologist after a bath! Especially the first two months of the field.
A geologist returns from a short vacation and everyone begins to ask him:
- Well, how was it at home?
- Was
- What did you do first?
- Steamed in the bath.
- And then?
- Pelmeni ate
- And then?
- Finally got some sleep.
- And the next day?
- I took my backpack off.
Geologists talk:
- Why are you taking a photo of your mother-in-law with you?
- Judge for yourself, in the field - mosquitoes, rain, cold ...
- And I'll look at her - Lord, how good it is!
The last time one of the members of the geological expedition contacted his family was on September 5, the rest called even earlier - in August. After that, there was no news from geologists, and relatives began to worry about the people who are in the taiga. The wives of two men wrote a statement to the police about the disappearance of their husbands, turned to the Rescue Service and the Ministry of Emergency Situations, writes IA SakhaDay.
Earlier, the media reported that the Ministry of Emergency Situations had established contact with geologists and was evacuating them, but the relatives of the men who disappeared in the taiga consider this information to be false. The head of the Granit enterprise, who sent the group to exploration work, believes that there is no reason to panic.
“On Monday, if no data appears, a rescue team will go to Tiksi , he explained. — The Ministry of Emergency Situations does not search for geologists. They do not consider this situation extreme and extraordinary. They react only in a specific danger situation. Why are we not worried? Because the men are trained, experienced. We worked with them in all situations, including this one. According to the briefing, they must remain where they are and wait for help.”
Relatives of geologists are sure that the search for people should have started earlier, and are worried that delaying the rescue operation could be fatal.
Background
All people whose whereabouts are unknown are divided into two categories. Those who, for some reason, cannot or do not want to provide information about their whereabouts, and those who presumably died under circumstances that make it difficult or even impossible to find the body.
The former most often include people in hiding for criminal reasons, the homeless, the mentally ill, or teenagers from dysfunctional families. The second category includes those who died as a result of hostilities, crimes, technological accidents, natural Disasters and other natural factors, as well as those who died as a result of accidents in hard-to-reach places.
The search for the missing is carried out by law enforcement agencies at the request of their relatives or other interested persons. Also, advertisements in public places, in the press and on the Internet are used for the search. About half of the missing are found within a few days.
AT Russian Federation if the missing person is not found within three months, he is put on the federal wanted list, his data is sent to the all-Russian database. About 90 thousand people go missing in Russia every year, about half of them can be found.
AT recent times Volunteer search and rescue organizations are emerging to search for missing people in voluntary basis and without payment.
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So, about Geologists
******************************
The geological theory is dry, and the practice is drunken.
Last Friday evening, Russian geologists found a previously unknown reason to drink.
They say that geologists drink a lot. Maybe. But good geologists do not lie on the road! ...
It turns out that all dinosaurs were the same. It's just that different paleontologists collected them in different ways!
On the exam in paleontology, the professor gives the student a sea urchin.
Student in a winning voice: it's a hedgehog!
Professor (hopefully): -And which hedgehog is right or wrong?
The student thinks for a long time.
The professor prompts: Well, you can determine by the anus.
The student silently puts the hedgehog in the tray, picks up the notebook from the table and leaves.
Professor (after): Young man! You call your last name!
Student (in an offended voice) - Determine by anus!One meticulous paleontologist visited Loch Ness in Scotland hoping to see the famous ancient monster.
- When does the snake usually appear? he asked a local resident.
- Usually after the third glass of vodka, - he answered.A geologist walks through the taiga and sees: a Chukchi sits on a thick branch and saws off this branch from a tree. The geologist says to him: "Balda, you'll crash soon!". And he goes further. And five minutes later he hears behind him: "slap-c "and a cry" ah-ah !!!", and then swearing: "that's a vile Russian shaman!"
Once a geologist came to the tent to the Chukchi and was surprised:
- Chuchka, you have canned food full of chum, and you are emaciated from hunger like a mop!
And the Chukchi answers him:
- However, I opened a newspaper - Yeltsin was there, turned on the radio - Yeltsin was there, turned on the TV - Yeltsin was there too. - Now, however, I'm afraid to open canned food!A local historian asks a local resident:
- Is there any legend connected with that high mountain?
- Yes, there is such a story. One day, two geologists climbed to the very top, and since then no one has seen them.
- How mysterious! And what happened to them?
- And they went down the other side.Are you a geologist?
A little girl asks a bearded man crawling out of a ditch.
- No, baby, I'm just a hangover.The geologist addresses the Chukchi sitting at the yurt:
- My dear, can you tell me how to quickly get to that mountain over there?
The Chukchi thoughtfully looked at the geologist, then at the mountain and answered:
- Do you want, however, I will untie the dogs?Once a Chukchi tied up a geologist, brought him to the frontier post and said:
- However, the spy caught.
He is asked:
- What makes you think that this man is a spy?
- So, however, I go and see: he stands, the villain, and knocks on the rock with a hammer. I ask: - "Who are you?" And he: - "The leader of the party." But the Chukchi is not a fool, the Chukchi knows who is in charge of our Party!A Chukchi father and his son are sitting near the yaranga. A helicopter flies low over them.
Son: - Dad, what is it though?
Father: - Now this iron bird will sit down, - the geologist will come out. They'll beat me in the face, they'll rape my mother, they'll shoot deer, they'll hit you on the head.
- "Kspiditsiya" is called.One geologist was going to go to the emerald mines, to dig green pebbles. And he says to his wife:
- I'm going to the Urals. And do not argue, I'm tired that our collection is without an emerald.
Wife:
- I know you, you will dig up a lot again, but you will drink every single stone on the way back.
Geologist:
- Do not grind too much, otherwise you will jinx it, - I firmly decided to go!
No sooner said than done, backpacks-hammers collected and left.
A month has passed. Knock on the door. The wife opens, and a drunken husband stands on the threshold. With a dull look, he rests on his wife and takes out a pood green crystal from his backpack.
Wife: Ahh!!! And he, slowly raising his index finger:
- Wow, croaked again! Here, as last time, all the stones were expensive and squandered. The current one is the smallest, this one, and remained ...Real geologists will never drink vodka from their throats if there is an empty one. tin!
One geologist was terribly tired on the route, found nothing and became terribly angry because of that. He sees - a bear, well, he throws a stone at him! And then his fatigue vanished like a hand! ...
Holmes, what are Korean geologists looking for if they don't have minerals?
- Elementary, Watson: they are looking for where the dogs are buried.What six fools live in the world?
The geologist - has not lost anything, but goes looking. The driver - carries people, and he goes home on foot. Uzbek - did not measure, but cuts. A welder cooks, not eats. The teacher knows everything, but asks the children. Bear - ate a geologist, but did not learn geology.The husband comes home, and there is a man on the balcony.
- You see, I am a pilot, I jumped with a parachute and the wind skidded.
“It happens,” the husband says. - Yesterday, a geologist was looking for oil in my toilet ...Two bears are talking in the taiga.
- How tired of these geologists! During the day they go looking for something, but by night they are already drunk, they yell, they don’t let them sleep.
- It's true! But the worst thing is that then mobile phones disturb the stomach and their calls cause frustration ...Two geologists are sitting by the fire in bad weather. Vodka is all drunk, they drink moonshine, talking:
- That's it, how do you drink this green barmatuha, so in the morning your head is like the Tsar Bell ...
- In-in, and the Tsar Cannon is good for nothing ...The Chukchi walks through the taiga and squeaks plaintively.
A geologist approaches him and asks:
- What are you squeaking?
- Yes, I fell ill, your boss gave me a pill, I ate them.
- Well and?
- And it says:
"After eating!"...Met a geologist and a Chukchi on the ocean, talking. Suddenly they see a hungry polar bear heading towards them. And there is no gun. The Chukchi grabs skis and, well, put them on faster. Geologist:
- It's useless - you still can't run faster than a bear.
- And I don’t need to be faster than a bear, I need to be faster than you!Once a Chukchi found a large gold nugget at a mine. He did not give up, but hid it well.
They calculated him and brought him for theft.
The head of the mine interrogates him, and another Chukchi translates:
- Where did you hide the gold?!? - asks the angry boss.
“He says he didn’t take it,” the Chukchi translates.
- Tell him, - says the chief, - that if he doesn't tell me now, I'll shoot him!
- He says, if you don't say where the gold is, you will be shot a little.
“I buried it in a jug under the yaranga,” the frightened thief admitted.
- He says shoot! - translated the Chukchi. That still won't tell anyone...A geologist is walking through the taiga and sees two Chukchi. One carries a telephone booth, and the other is a hefty log. Geologist:
- Hey, fellow countryman, why do you need a telephone booth?
Chukchi(1):
- Mine, however, if a bear attacks, it will hide in a booth and the bear will not eat me.
Geologist - to another Chukchi:
- Well, why do you need such a healthy log?
Chukchi(2):
- My, however, if he sees a bear, he will throw a log - and it will be easier to run away.Somehow, American geologists discovered some Arab country over large deposits of American oil ... If it weren’t for a war, it would have come to a trial ...
American geographers argue that geology is only a discipline derived from geography, arguing that before the discovery of America by Columbus, all their geologists lived in Europe.
True story: Student - graduate of the state. copy. Miass Geological College answers the question about schlich (pronouncing more through "u" than through "and"). The commission, after listening to him, asks additional. the question of a consonant word in geology. He doesn't understand. He is prompted - well, they say, everything is the same in this word, only instead of "x" - "f". The student in a stupor looks at the commission, slowly blushes (having guessed) and already crimson-red from embarrassment says: "Fuy, what-whether?". The commission, which had been waiting for the word "slif", slowly slid under the table from laughter.
Reality: Moscow State University, 70s.
Mineralogy exam.
Identify the mineral, - the professor says and gives the student a piece of opal.
She stares blankly at the stone and begins to look around the audience with wandering eyes.
The student from the last row is trying to prompt and gesticulates animatedly, now with a joyful look bending his arm at the elbow and clenching his fist, then lowering it limply with an expression of annoyance on his face.
The student strains her imagination and joyfully says:
"Professor, it won't stop!"Field season.
In the geological route, an experienced professor wakes up a trainee student in the middle of the night and asks:
- Ivan, look at the sky and tell me, what conclusion can you draw?
The student looks up at the sky and answers:
- I see billions of stars, and if there are billions of stars, then they can have planets, and there is a possibility that there are some similar to the Earth among them, and there can also be a lot of all sorts of ores and minerals, and ...
Ivan, you are an idiot! the professor interrupts.
- Our tent was stolen!The student is trying to hang noodles on the teacher's ears:
- Last season I found a beryl crystal - that's how my hand is!
- Come on, youngster, fill it up! Such hairy crystals do not exist in nature.Geological practice in Kamchatka. For the first time looking into the crater of the volcano, the student says to the teacher:
- Doesn't it look like hell?
Oh, those students! - the professor exclaims, - they saw everything, they visited everywhere ...A woman comes to the tailor's atelier:
- Please sew me a nightgown 3 meters long.
- Why are you so long?
So my husband is a geologist. For him, the main thing is the search, not the final result.Associate professor in the route in geological practice warns students:
- Now we will go along a very dangerous cliff, be careful!
- But if one of you falls off, then let him not forget to look to the right - in flight, a view of a unique outcrop with a pegmatite vein will open ...Professor in geopractice during a sightseeing tour with students:
- And now, having passed this famous local brothel, we will get directly to the mine of interest to us, and ...
- Professor, why by?!?There are two crystals, one transparent and the other fractured. The first one asks:
- At the hot fire?
- Campfire...
- Geologist?
- Geologist...
- Tried to determine?
- No, no, it came, bastard ...On the day of the geologist's departure to the field, his wife got out of bed before dawn and made her way to the pantry. There she slashed a backpack with a knife, tore the tent, then threw the sleeping bag, hammer and compass from the balcony. After that, she silently returned to the bed and gently pressed her cheek against her husband’s shoulder ...
- She had less than an hour to live ...The male geologist comes from the expedition all dirty, in a torn windbreaker, abrasions on his face. Explains to his wife:
- I did not have a return ticket for the train, but here is the inspector. I had to jump out of the car.
- Wasn't it easier to pay a fine?
- What are you, dear! The inspector turned out to be the conductor's husband.Trainee for the huntsman of the Ilmensky Reserve:
- Tell me, please, can you take a sample from this mine?
- Not!
- Uh-huh, but then why are there so many fresh fragments around?
- From those who don't ask stupid questions.RIA-Novosti reports: Ukrainian geologists have discovered a large oil field on the territory of Ukraine. But the development of the deposit is very difficult, as it moves through the independent territory at high speed in iron tanks.
A provincial soil geologist tells his metropolitan colleague over a third bottle of vodka:
- We had a case in cucumbers - the student got lost, they were never found ... but they are afraid to go into tomatoes and professors, even with a compass.
- These are the fertile soils we have in the outback!A conversation between two future geologists:
- Do you know how to hold a hammer so as not to hit yourself on the finger?
- Well?
- With two hands...A lone pensive geologist is walking through the taiga, and a hefty woman with a gun meets him, and how she screams:
- A geologist, and even with a hammer in his hand! Looks like you're planning to take me by force?!?
Geologist, in dismay: - What are you, yes, I don’t even think ...
Baba: - And you have to!Geological practice, after the first route.
Student: The teacher said that if a snake bites, then someone should immediately suck. I don't know how that would help?The persistent search for truth by Russian geologists usually leads them to a severe hangover.
Mankind is so insane that the minerals found by geologists are used to pollute the environment.
Two bears meet in the taiga:
- No, well, can you imagine!? I return this morning to the lair, and there is a wall of fumes!
I look, the geologist is sleeping on the floor .. I lean towards him, and he raises his head, looks at me and says: "Ah, is that you, professor?"A bear attacked a geologist in the taiga. He tries to run away from him, and suddenly ahead - a cliff. He fell to his knees and prayed:
- Lord, instill a Christian soul in this beast!
The bear immediately falls to its knees:
- Thank you, Lord, for the food sent down to me!Too much drinking is bad
A detachment of geologists is resting on a halt. The first one, tired from drinking, falls asleep under a tree. The others decided to play a joke on him. They put a three-liter jar on the sleeping man’s hand and tickled his nose with a blade of grass. It’s scary to watch right away, but then you laugh for a long time.
The story is geological and phantasmagorical
At a halt, two geologists tell each other stories. One says:
- Once I fly for a bottle on a fighter, I decided to take a shortcut, fly through the adit. I fly along it, fly into the mine - and towards the cage with the miners ... I turn around, fly out and flew further and ran into a beer geyser. I landed next to me, relaxed, and then my memory went haywire and I don’t remember what happened next.
- It happens, it happens. And here is my case. We took bottles of vodka on the route, but forgot the hammer and chisels at the base. Could not open - had to endure until the end of the season.
- You're lying! This does not happen!Geologist in a women's company:
- And I lose 30 kg on the route!
- Can not be!
- Yes, but the halt ends, and I put on my backpack again ...Geologists returned from the route. Tired, hungry.
One says: "Now would be a woman!"
Second: "Big and warm!"
Third: "And so as not to pester!"The Lord God, creating mineral aggregates, thought little about how we would name and classify them.
Geologists fall into the hands of cannibals. The leader says to them:
- Whoever tells a new anecdote, let him go to continue collecting stones. But I warn you - we have the Internet!***
~"~* ~"~
original selection© "Drawing Minerals" 2006-2015. When quoting, a hyperlink to the site is required http://website/
MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND SCIENCE OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION
PERM STATE NATIONAL
RESEARCH UNIVERSITY
Faculty of Geology
Why I chose geology
Completed by: student of group GLG-2
Kalashnikova Yu.Yu.
Checked by: Pecherkina L.V.
Introduction
1. The profession of a geologist
1.1 History of the profession of geologist
2.3 Occupational risks
Conclusion
Bibliography
Among dozens and hundreds of decisions made by a person, the choice of life path plays the most important role and influence. Since I became a student of Perm State University, I have to make this choice that is not easy and determines my future fate. I have to decide what specialization I will study next. It is very difficult to make a conscious and independent choice, because until now, in most cases, my parents decided everything for me, they led me along life path but now I have to choose for myself what to do and how to act.
Scientists believe that a person lives for the sake of self-realization. Occupation fills life with meaning, helps to feel valuable, significant in society.
There are no two absolutely identical people in the world, everyone has their own way of trial and error. This is a person's search for himself, his life values, his guidelines. Make aware and right choice difficult, there are many factors influencing the choice: low awareness of the profession, the prestige and significance of the profession, the opinion of parents, the opinion of friends, attachments, interests, and the needs of society. But, despite all this, I made my choice based on my interests, desires and preferences. I chose the geology profile, and I hope I made the right choice.
1. The profession of a geologist
1.1 History of the profession of geologist
Geology (from the Greek geo - earth and logos - doctrine) is a complex of sciences about the composition, structure and history of the development of the earth. Since ancient times, people have used various minerals for their own purposes. Thus, unorganized, non-industrial mining began in ancient times, when miners mined clay and coal, in addition, people had knowledge about rocks, minerals and ores. With the beginning of the era of the Great geographical discoveries Earth exploration began. People began to be interested in how deserts, mountains, etc. arise, and try to scientifically substantiate their guesses. At these times, the first geologists-thinkers appeared who tried to guess where minerals could be located. The term "geology" was introduced by the Norwegian scientist M. Esholt in 1657. A qualitative leap in the history of geology (late 19th - early 20th century) is associated with the introduction of physicochemical and mathematical research methods. To date, most of the deposits have already been explored. And in order to make forecasts, it is no longer necessary to travel to the area, in most cases it is enough to take photos and filming. However, this profession is still a symbol of romance and there is a lot open questions: the theory of the movement of the continents has not been proven, some geomagnetic anomalies remain unexplained. Geologists spend a lot of time on expeditions, where they collect rock samples, search for and map deposits of valuable rocks, precious stones, gold, and oil. They study geological processes: earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. Profession "Geologist" requires from a specialist mainly intellectual costs. Professional activity, first of all, involves the analysis, comparison and interpretation of data, the proposal of new solutions, the performance of specific tasks using special labor skills.
Dominant activities of the geologist profession:
· organization and implementation of field work to collect factual material on the geology of the study area; · participation in the development of the geological task; · calculation of mineral reserves; · drawing up graphic materials on the geological structure of the area under study (diagrams, maps, sections, plans, diagrams); · compilation of reference collections of samples of rocks and minerals; · determination of the category of rocks according to their technological properties (drillability, strength, loosening); · determination of the category of complexity of work areas; · surface motion prediction; · work with specialized equipment and tools; · industrial development of deposits; · establishing locations for mine workings and oil and gas wells; · development of mining plans and operational exploration; · study of the geological structure of deposits; · approbation of mine workings; · implementation of geological control over mining and exploitation and exploration works, the state of oil and gas development; · control over the completeness and quality of mining of deposits, the release of wells; · accounting for losses, movement of explored and ready-to-extract minerals; · repair of wells; · generalization of geological material and results of field and geophysical studies. 2. Factors influencing the choice of profession
2.1 The level of social significance of the profession
The level of social significance of the profession of a geologist is determined by the average indicators of its demand in the labor market. To date, the main orders come from private organizations, although government agencies yet do not remain in the shadow of private entrepreneurs. Currently, the profession of a geologist is quite in demand, since the extraction, exploration and processing of minerals is the main source of income for the country. Mineral exploration is an integral part of the system National economy. The basis for providing production with ore, coal, oil, gas, building materials, water, etc. lies in the search for them on the territory of our country. Modern industry, with its high technology and vast scale, requires a gigantic amount of diverse mineral raw materials. It is impossible to imagine a single branch of the economy without iron and coal; without oil, all "mobile" technology would be dead, and modern chemistry would not be able to produce various synthetic materials so widely. Without rare elements, it is impossible to manufacture various complex machines and precision instruments that are used in metallurgy, chemistry, mechanical engineering, aviation, and astronautics. The industry cannot do without non-ferrous metals - copper, zinc, tin, lead, aluminum and magnesium. It is also impossible to increase soil fertility without the use of so-called agronomic ores - phosphorites, apatite and potassium salts. Geologists still know very little about the structure of the depths earth's crust, since only the uppermost part of it is accessible to direct observation. To study the depths of the Earth is very important for many reasons. Scientists recognize big influence deep bowels of the Earth on the processes of formation of deposits of mineral raw materials. Volcanic phenomena and earthquakes are associated with the depths of the Earth. Therefore, further development of knowledge about the structure and composition of the Earth, as well as the solution of the question of how mineral deposits are formed, is impossible without a direct study of the depths of the earth's crust and its subcrustal part. The places of application of the labor of specialists are geological exploration expeditions, geophysical and drilling parties, research and design organizations. The main scope of their work is the exploration and development of mineral deposits. They are also required in construction (for example, to identify soil features at the site of future structures). 2.2 Mass character and uniqueness of the profession (
The profession of a geologist is unique in its own way. For its successful practice, it is necessary, firstly, to have an excellent profile education, deep knowledge in the field of compiling and interpreting cartographic drawings, and skillful use of specific measuring and analytical instruments. The work is uneven in nature and is characterized by the possibility of frequent long business trips and repeated visits to the object under study. A geologist must also have good health, good physical fitness, endurance, observation skills, the ability to work in a limited team, be patient and purposeful. Teachers from different universities are unanimous in their opinion: studying to be a geologist is hard. Of the general professional disciplines, physics, mathematics, computer science, technical and theoretical mechanics, engineering graphics Geologists need engineering thinking. At the same time, you will have to study history, cultural studies, sociology, political science, foreign language- this already implies a humanitarian mindset. And, finally, special geological and mining-geological disciplines will require their own, special abilities. For example, you cannot learn paleontology from a book - you have to work with the collection, study in paleontological and mineralogical museums. Scientists-geologists and practitioners face the most important task - this is the development of the foundations of a scientific forecast (prediction) of the occurrence of minerals in certain regions of the Earth. Having established the laws of the location of various deposits, geologists will create forecast maps that will ensure successful searches for the so-called "blind" ore bodies, i.e. deposits deep in the earth. Until now, geologists were only interested in land, but now they have begun to study the geology of the ocean floor, which occupies about 71% of the entire area. earth's surface. Geophysical studies have shown that there are differences in the structure and thickness of the earth's crust under the continents and oceans. Such studies not only enrich science, they bring important practical results. In the coming decades, a geological survey of the continental shelf and, perhaps, even the continental slope will probably be carried out. The world's oil production from the seabed will increase, the development of manganese ores from the ocean floor will begin, and so on. In general, the profession of a geologist does not have clearly expressed disadvantages. Normal workload is usually planned before the departure of the expeditionary group to the site, however, if necessary, an irregular working day can adversely affect the team's ability to work. Career growth is possible with excellent knowledge, a diploma of higher education and non-standard or innovative approach to solving the tasks. geology specialist profession labor Conclusion
The structure of the world and all natural phenomena have always attracted me. As a child, I was interested in how nature works, why various natural phenomena arise. For the last five years of schooling, I already knew in which direction I would study, but I did not know what profile, specialty. I chose the profile of geology because, firstly, I was drawn to the romance of this profession, secondly, the desire to know the structure of the Earth, the processes and causes of natural geological phenomena, and thirdly, the opportunity to travel around the country and see all its diversity largely determined the choice professions. Choice of profession special influence parents also provided. Bibliography
1.Kravtsov A.I., Bakaldina A.P. Geology. - M: Nedra Publishing House, 1979.342 p. 2.Koronovsky N.V. General geology. - M: Publishing house of KDU, 2006. .Koronovsky N.V., Yasamanov N.A. Geology.5th edition. - M: Publishing house "Academy". 2008 448 pages 4. .
