A child is the dream of every woman. And sometimes it even becomes the meaning of life. But a child is also a big responsibility. And you are lucky if you already had experience with children. What if he wasn't? Let's figure out how to prepare properly. A child is the dream of any woman. And sometimes it even becomes the meaning of life. But a child is also a big responsibility. And you are lucky if you already had experience with children. What if he wasn't? Let's see how you can prepare and what you need to know in order to be ready for the birth of your first baby.
All young couples think about children. And most often an active position in this issue occupied by a woman. First of all, this is due to the ordinary maternal instinct. Let's figure out what it is.
The very concept of "maternal instinct" does not have an exact definition, since not a single scientist has been able to achieve a certain result in the course of studying this phenomenon. Moreover, it is still being actively studied. But several proposed definitions have one thing in common, connecting: this is a special behavior in which the mother (adoptive mother) seeks to protect her child from exposure to environment and society, through care and attention towards the child. Thus, we can conclude that the very desire to protect and take care of the child is the “maternal instinct”.
It is also not known who exactly introduced this concept, although many attribute this merit to William McDougall (1871-1938), an Anglo-American psychologist, one of the founders of socio-psychological research, introduced the concept of " social Psychology» (1908). He considered the irrational and instinctive behavior of a person in various situations, but he did not introduce the concept of "maternal instinct", as such.
But back to the birth of the first child. This decision for a young couple should be mutual, only under this condition the child will be desired, and there will be harmony in the family. After the happy news about the pregnancy, the woman ponders who will please her with their appearance in nine months and how to introduce the guest. So it's time to choose a name. There will be a lot of options. But this, of course, must be taken as responsibly as possible. After all, the future life of your child depends on the name.
Further, clothes for the future baby depend on many mothers. The way in which to pick up the child from the hospital, and what to change into at home, winter is coming, you need to buy warm blouses, sliders, booties, etc. in advance. All this is very good, but we must not forget that the child grows very quickly (during the first 3 months, his length will increase by 10 cm), so he will not wear clothes of the smallest size for long. The question arises - how to choose the right size? Usually in children's things it is determined by the length of the body, each subsequent one differs from the previous one by 6 cm, so to determine the size, measure your baby's height with a centimeter tape. Since the average length of a newborn is approximately 50-54 cm, clothes for him start from size 56, 62 and so on.
You also need to mentally and psychologically prepare for such an event. You need to advance in peace, sitting with your beloved husband in an embrace, think about how to allocate time and responsibilities. After all, what a woman used to do, for example, washed dishes or cleaned the apartment every day, now she cannot do it to the fullest. Thus, a man should be ready for changes in his lifestyle. He should simply help his wife around the house and, of course, devote as much time as possible to the family.
And the last, in my opinion, the main condition that all parents need to remember is that the child must be loved, but in no case should you sacrifice yourself! What does this mean?
“We raised you, spent our whole life on you, and you!? Ungrateful!". So that you never have to say these words to your children, you just need to remember the rule mentioned above. Give your baby your love, not self-sacrifice. That's all you need to harmoniously build family relationships.
Parents are easy, but not easy. It is necessary to catch the fine line between these two concepts. And do not forget about the previous tips written in this article.
I wish you good luck, future mothers. And I hope everything goes as planned for your family.
The idea of a fallback in life, which I want to talk about in this article, implies readiness, first of all, the psychological readiness of each person, for any scenario in the development of events in his life. Let your friends think about this question with you and try to imagine how likely it is that in the life of each of us the usual order of things to which we are all accustomed will be violated. After all, it is obvious that the feeling of inner discomfort that we experience from time to time, as well as emotions, both positive and negative, originate precisely from a non-standard scenario that arises in our life. To be prepared for any scenario in your life, to have a fallback for any eventuality, is of course difficult enough, and yet it can be done.
I am not a supporter of making a decision at the moment when it is needed, the main thing is to get involved in a battle, we will figure it out there - these are friends not for me, because in this approach to life there are no prospects that pragmatism and moral readiness give us for everything. Actually, this is precisely why there is such a thing as moral and psychological preparation, without which a person is defenseless against many non-standard situations in his life, which can arise anytime and anywhere. And how can you prepare psychologically for something, of course, consider many scenarios of things you are used to, and prepare in advance several options for your behavior in certain situations. Something similar is said in the book of the samurai, when the samurai must clearly and clearly imagine his death every day, down to the smallest detail, which, firstly, relieves him of fear of it, and secondly, makes him ready for a similar scenario of the development of events, as a result of which he is mentally stable.
I, in turn, offer you a slightly improved concept, according to which you do not just review everything in your life, but if necessary, deny and refuse most of it, and even really start to change something. Let me explain why this is necessary, in this case we are talking about those aspects of your life that are called obsolete. This is your opportunity to strike the first blow at what is very likely to strike at you soon. Example - you are employed, your boss is a complete idiot and his insanity makes the likelihood that you may lose your job in the near future very high. Should you hope for something, should you wait for the moment when this happens, or should you have several fallbacks in case they decide to fire you, and use one of them before it happens?
I believe the latter option is more preferable for your interests, no matter what brakes dissuade you from it, inside yourself, no matter how much you work at a job that you can lose, no matter how good it is, it means absolutely nothing, you always must be prepared to lose it and find a new one or otherwise arrange their lives. And this is how you should look at everything in your life, especially at the people who surround you, because the nature of a person in most cases is not distinguished by the stability of his behavior. Therefore, even in relation to the people closest and most devoted to you, you need to have several answers to their possible change in attitude towards you. There is a saying that you should always prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but I suggest you always prepare for the best, not in terms of what can happen in your life, but in terms of how you will react to it.
In short, you shouldn’t have unpredictability in your life, and even though not all people have good insight, it’s not so difficult to omit the most likely scenarios in your life that are different from those you are used to if you just ask this question . Are you ready for changes in your life, do you have options for responding to any challenges of fate, which, meanwhile, fits into many details, taking into account which makes it possible to predict many possible events with high accuracy? Imagine a situation in which your life is turned upside down, the people you live with leave you, your source of income ceases to exist, your friends are opposed to you, and so on and so forth. Even a typical trip to the grocery store in dark time days, it may turn out differently than it has always been, imagine at least a situation in which robbers attack you or you are taken away by law enforcement agencies on suspicion of a crime.
Do you have fallback options for all these cases, do you have a well-thought-out algorithm of actions, if psychological readiness to that? If not, then why, why don't you consider such a scenario as possible, because the probability of all that I have listed is very high, and you will definitely be confused if something of what I have listed happens, emotions will overwhelm you and you will be literally lost. Most of the people with whom I talked on this topic tell me that they hope for the best in this case, but hope is the lot of the weak and lazy, who are too lazy to work with their heads, too lazy to consider various options their actions, find the most acceptable and correct and not be surprised at anything in this life. Moreover, one can even count a high degree the probability of everything that can happen and prevent many events, not by guessing at cards or tea thick, but by calculation and careful analysis.
In this case, I also often hear about such a concept as creative visualization, which I have nothing against, but I don’t see the relevance of this concept in my case. You do not attract what you think about and the probability of which you admit, you can only attract what you really want and mentally attract it, in fact, the authors of creative visualization represent it in this way. Are there any other reasons not to allow the possibility of something that you would not like it to happen, but for which you should always be prepared? Fear, which in principle immediately comes to mind, is actually not appropriate, because you can only be afraid of what you are not ready for, and if you have answers to any questions, what kind of fear can we talk about in this case?
The only thing that really prevents you from always having a lot of spare options for any possible scenario our lives and what I have already mentioned is, of course, laziness. It is laziness that I consider the main root of all evil, because in the vast majority of cases, laziness prevents us from doing what needs to be done, namely, inaction leads to the fact that life does not develop the way we would like. Well, if we talk about your internal state, which you will achieve by being armed with many fallback options for all possible events, mainly the most negative and terrible for you, then this is a state of bliss. So it is much easier to control your emotions, because a person who is difficult to surprise with something and who is difficult to take by surprise does not experience strong emotions whether positive or negative emotions.
The mind of such a person is absolutely pure, and even if the option prepared in advance by him does not work, he can come up with a new one on the go, which is possible only in case of absolute calmness and a competent assessment of the situation. Do not be lazy, deny everything that is in your life, get ready for everything, and be the first to strike at fate, do not let it do it, remember that there is no stability in this life, but there is a pattern.
The first one carefully thinks through everything to the smallest detail, takes care of its safety and strives to have a good vacation. The second category goes on the next trip without any preparation and hopes for chance. It is worth noting that each approach has the right to life. In the first case, we usually know what we will do, where to go and what to do. In the second, we get a lot of interesting emotions, surprises, but there is a risk of being in a difficult position. The truth, as always, is in the middle. How to prepare for a trip while creating a safe atmosphere for yourself, but not depriving yourself of the pleasant emotions of the explorer?
getting ready
In any case, we will need a taxi upon arrival. will provide you with excellent conditions for travel. You will have to make an order at any time and get a car for further movements. There is also a shuttle service from the airport to the hotel. In general, to feel safe during your vacation, you will need a taxi that can be called at any time, a hotel that will meet your requirements, and a map of the area. All this is very easy to achieve with modern gadgets at hand. We usually choose a hotel based on the reviews of people who have already been there, and a taxi and a map can be called and viewed through a smartphone. You will also most likely need to know which areas of the city you should not enter. However, if it is a resort area, then you will usually be safe.
As for preparing for the trip, it must be done in advance. It is best to make a list of necessary things, which are gradually edited and replenished. It should be started at least a month before the trip in order to consider many options, and subsequently for a short time make fees. Thus, you deprive yourself of unnecessary hassle before the trip itself. In the bustle, as a rule, the necessary things are forgotten, which tourists later regret very much.
Where to go?
Tourism destinations today are simple great amount. Europe, Southeast Asia, Arab countries, USA, Australia and Oceania. Each direction is interesting and attractive in its own way. In each territory you can find both cheap and luxurious places to stay. As for Europe, today Cyprus is relevant, where an excellent holiday is offered, a beautiful sea, a large number of resort centers and wonderful weather for recreation.
Remember the joke about how an English lady-mother teaches an English young lady-daughter that a lady should always be impeccable? Argument: “otherwise you will cross the street, you will be hit by a car, you will fall, your dress will pull up and everyone will see your panties. Therefore, they must be impeccable." Even in English humor there is a share of a joke, the rest is all true. How to be prepared for any situation, including casual sex?
Text: Margarita Tsarik
Take it off immediately!
If you are young, beautiful, free and relaxed, then when can you have casual sex? That's right - always, every minute! Therefore, going out "in the light" or just going for a Sunday walk, do not forget the advice of the lady mother. At any time in your life, wear such panties so that you are not ashamed to show them to a potential partner. Even if he plucks them in the next second in a fit of passion.
The freshness of the city takes
A shower in the morning, a shower in the evening and a mini deodorant in your purse will save you from doubts - are you fresh enough for this beautiful man who is obviously flirting with you. Add to this a pack of wet wipes on duty - and you are ready for any adventure, of course, if only you are in the mood to rush into the abyss of light dizzying recklessness.
“I kept thinking - go? Don't go?"
True, there is another small, but very deterrent factor. Have you forgotten about depilation? Perhaps you were too lazy yesterday, taking a bath, shaving your legs and other intimate places? And now you hesitate - is it decent to indulge in passion in such an imperfect form? You have a choice - either use "long-playing" types of hair removal, or urgently buy a disposable machine and, closing in the toilet of the institution where this dilemma caught you, subject your legs to a speedy execution.
"I am not like that!"
By the way, about recklessness. Do you carry condoms in your purse? There is such a fairly common opinion among women that a partner should take care of the safety of sex. Like, somehow it doesn’t fit a decent girl to be so armed, so ready at any moment for sex. You always want to pretend that this is casual sex - it's impromptu, not homemade. But is it worth it to dissemble and expose yourself to potential troubles? Protected sex is the concern of both partners. Do not neglect the opportunity to secure an accidental pleasure!
If you want to stay
You are fresh, you smell delicious, you have beautiful makeup, sexy lingerie and smooth skin. Stay like this always! To please others, you must first please yourself - it's trite, but it always works. And do not forget to put a small toothbrush in your magic bag - after all, after casual sex, an accidental joint morning may come. And you also need to be ready for this!
A man on the subway is staring at a woman. She turned out to be not from a timid dozen and says: - Man, why are you staring at me like that? Enough already, you're undressing me with your eyes! - What are you, what are you?! You are already dressing, and I am smoking...
One of the most characteristic features modern life is nothing more than an increased impact on a person of stressful situations. They, lurking, are waiting for him in any sphere of life and are always expressed in different ways. This may be a misunderstanding in the family, a salary delay, a conflict with a negatively minded salesperson in a store, a broken contract with a business partner, or some other trouble. But sometimes it’s not at all surprising, but the fact that, getting into such situations, some people instantly succumb to the influence of emotions: they resonate with a stressful situation, worry, get nervous, their mood deteriorates, etc. And others, finding themselves in similar (and even worse) conditions, seem to have long been ready for such a development of events: they perceive everything easily and do not tense up, maintain their composure, remain, if not in a positive, then at least in a neutral state. What is the difference between the one and the other? Today we will talk about one of the psychological characteristics of a person - resilience.
Psychological stability
Psychological stability is the process of maintaining the most optimal mode of operation of the human psyche in conditions of constantly changing circumstances and their stressful effects. It is interesting that this is formed in a person in the process of his development and is not genetically determined. It depends on such factors as the nervous system of a person, his upbringing, experience, level of development, etc. This means that, for example, if a person, as they say, "has gone through a lot", then his psyche will be much more stable than the psyche of someone who grew up "holding on to his mother's skirt." But this is not yet the final indicator, because. a person who is constantly exposed to stressful influences will react painfully to every problem, because his nerves have become pretty loose over time. These are two sides of the same coin.
In addition, psychological stability is not a 100% guarantee of stability in general to everything. Psychological stability is rather the flexibility of the human psyche, rather than the steadfastness and stability of its nervous system. And the fundamental characteristic of psychological stability is precisely the mobility of the psyche in constantly changing conditions. Psychological stability, like instability, always “works” according to a scheme.
The scheme of work of psychological stability / instability
Psychological stability: first, a task appears that generates a motive that entails the performance of certain actions aimed at its implementation. Then the difficulty that causes negative emotional condition. After that, there is a search for a way to overcome this difficulty, as a result of which there is a decrease in the level of negative emotions and an improvement in the mental state.
Psychological instability: first, a task appears that generates a motive that entails the performance of certain actions aimed at its implementation. Then the difficulty that causes a negative emotional state is realized. After that, a chaotic search for a way to overcome this difficulty occurs, causing its aggravation, as a result of which there is an increase in the level of negative emotions and a deterioration in the mental state.
The main reasons for susceptibility to stressful conditions are the lack of effective ways to overcome difficult situations and the feeling of personal threat. Mentally unstable people often have this feature: chaotic behavior causes a stressful state and reinforces it, and this state, in turn, brings even more chaos to life. inner world person, resulting in a feeling of complete helplessness in relation to difficult situations and their own behavior. Thus, the conclusion suggests itself that psychological stability is, first of all, self-control.
It is also important to remember that stressful situations can never be completely eliminated from life, because. they are an integral part of it. And the goal of any person should not be to get rid of these situations, but to educate and cultivate in oneself precisely psychological resistance to them.
Increasing psychological stability
The main law of increasing psychological stability is the acceptance of the fact that if a person is not able to change circumstances, then he is able to change his attitude towards them. An example is the situation with a barking dog: walking down the street and seeing a nearby dog barking at someone, you are unlikely to get annoyed about this, but just calmly continue on your way, immersed in your thoughts, right? So with difficult situations: they should be perceived not as something that happens to the detriment of you personally, but as something that simply has a place to be. As soon as a person allows events to take their course, without focusing their attention on them and without reacting emotionally, they just pass - their course; pass you by. If a person begins to “cling” to everything, then this also begins to “cling” to him. If you run to yell and insult a barking dog in every possible way, then the likelihood that you will become the object of its close attention increases significantly. Of course, this is just one of the ways. And it is not universal.
The increase in psychological stability is directly influenced by the conditions in which a person lives. For example, if a person by nature has a reactive type of nervous activity, i.e. he likes an intense lifestyle, frequent changes of scenery, increased activity etc., then, most likely, he will not be comfortable living in a small town or sitting in one place in the office without the opportunity to throw out his energy. In order for the human psyche to be more stable, it is necessary that the way of his life correspond to his natural predispositions.
Systematic unloading of the nervous system is another way to increase your psychological stability. Constant pressure and doing something not quite loved (which, by the way, is a striking feature of the work of many people) have an extremely negative effect on the human psyche. From this he becomes irritable, nervous, constantly tired. Only a good rest can affect this. You need to regularly make time for doing what you love, traveling out of town, relaxing reading books, in general, doing everything that you really want to do. Or you can do nothing at all - just relax and relieve stress.
Psychological stability is very well affected by the upbringing of a person in himself with a philosophical attitude to life. The mental health of a person is closely interconnected with such qualities of his personality as humor, positive thinking, the ability to laugh at himself, and self-criticism. Only if a person can look at the events taking place and at himself without undue seriousness, not considering himself the “center of the Universe” and those to whom life or someone else owes something, only then everything that happens will not seem so painful and will stop constantly hit for life.
one more effective method for the formation of psychological stability is a positive image of oneself. What is meant here is that a person should cultivate in himself positive attitude to his personality, to accept himself as he is, to be a positive and positive character for himself. But you need to be careful not to cross the line that leads to self-pity and perception of the world with, otherwise the psychological instability will only worsen.
In close proximity to a positive image of oneself is the inner integrity of a person. This question is worthy of writing a separate book, but, in short, a person must, firstly, live in harmony with himself, his principles, beliefs and worldview. Secondly, he should do what he likes: work, sports, recreation, communication - everything should be in maximum accordance with the vision of a person. Thirdly, he must strive for self-development and spiritual self-improvement, because. it has a direct constructive impact, both on the personality of a person and on his life.
If we ask ourselves the question of the formation of psychological stability in more detail, then it can be noted that a person should pay attention to the following components of his life:
- Social environment and immediate environment
- Self-esteem and self-esteem
- Self-realization and self-expression
- Independence and self-sufficiency
- Correspondence between the present self and the desired self
- Faith and Spirituality
- Having positive emotions
- The presence of the meaning of life and purposefulness, etc. etc.
Naturally, only a part of those factors that have a positive effect on psychological stability are listed here. The presence and development of them in the life of any person will have a huge impact on his worldview, behavior, development, activity, mental condition and mood. Their absence, on the contrary, has the opposite effect and contributes to psychological instability.
Of course, in order to learn how to support all this, you need to purposefully activate each structure of your personality and always remember your goal - the development of psychological stability. However, despite all the apparent complexity of this process, it is of inestimable practical importance, because. it is psychological stability that can give any person a state of satisfaction with life and a sense of harmony, normalize the psyche and increase efficiency, give new incentives, peace of mind and the ability to become a whole and strong personality.
Write in the comments about how you increase your mental resilience, what helps you to be in a positive mood, and what you do when everything seems to be going wrong. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this!
