There is not enough strength for anything, the goals you have ever set for yourself still remain unfulfilled, and most importantly, you do not know what is happening and how to change your own life. So it's time to take care of yourself. Any failures, mistakes and difficulties are always connected with the fact that life is trying to tell us what we are doing wrong. In those moments, you just need to stop and find time for yourself.
How to understand yourself
Nothing is easier than giving advice to others. When it comes to themselves, most don't even know where to start. Hasty decisions never help to cope with the problems that have arisen, but they can aggravate the situation very quickly. Therefore, as soon as you feel that you have ceased to control your own life, stop and stop looking for the guilty.
Try to be alone with yourself. Turn on your favorite music that evokes positive emotions. And close your eyes. Look inside yourself, feel your soul, what feelings prevail, what worries, irritates, dislikes. Be honest about what you don't like about life. After all, the desire to understand oneself arises only when a person begins to understand that he does not live the way he wants. He is not able to understand what is happening to him, why he acts this way and not otherwise, for what reason it is not possible to change in better side and why there is not enough strength and determination to change everything once and for all.
Trying to find answers to the questions posed to you, do not judge. Your task is not to find all conceivable and unthinkable shortcomings in yourself, but to understand what you really want from life and how you can get it. Not knowing the strengths and weaknesses, not caring about her soul, the fair sex runs the risk of choosing the wrong path in life that she needs in order to achieve harmony with herself and the world around her. But nothing is more important in life than peace of mind.
Photo: how to understand yourself and understand what I want
When the soul hurts, no amount of money can help relieve this pain. Therefore, for the sake of your own happiness, determine for yourself your own life values and aspirations and remember the existing principles of morality.
Always act according to your own internal barometer. Do not follow the lead of parents, relatives or friends, make decisions on vital issues on your own, weighing all the pros and cons. If you need advice, ask, but that doesn't mean you should. Never make a deal with your conscience, you can’t fix what happened, and regrets and remorse can poison your whole life.
Once you get used to taking responsibility for your own life, you will eventually understand what you want to get in the end. Try to periodically make plans to achieve your desires. No matter how impossible they seem, the main thing is to describe in detail what is necessary to implement the plan. In life, a person receives only what he expects. Think about it and consider if you are subconsciously depriving yourself of success, thinking that you are not worthy of more.
Avoiding difficulties, difficult decisions and actions, a person is not able to assess how he should live on. He continues to go with the flow, using the experience and advice of others, but not experiencing joy and satisfaction from self-realization. Nothing gives a sense of need and self-importance like the implementation of the plan. And it doesn’t matter if these dreams are big or small. When a person achieves what he wants, he realizes his own capabilities, becomes more self-confident and more boldly begins to conquer the next peak.
But it is very important to choose the right life path. If you achieve your goals, which in fact were not needed at all, then at one fine moment a real crisis will come. After all, all the efforts were spent on the realization of the desires of other people, their vision of what life should be like. successful person. Most often, these people are parents.
It's no secret that many parents, giving advice on what to do in life, where to go to study, subconsciously try to realize their own goals and desires. But they are not only interested future profession and work, but personal life children. On the one hand, this is caused by the desire not to make a mistake, and on the other hand, an attempt to realize what we ourselves failed to do.
If your parents are overly pushy and frankly trying to force you to make a choice that pleases them, and not you, do not enter into a conflict. Make it clear that their view of the world is radically different from yours and it is very sad that by depriving you of the opportunity to become independent, they endanger your life, because someday you will still have to make decisions on your own.
To understand yourself, you need to realize how important it is. After all, the rest of your life depends on it. If a person is afraid to look into himself, to be alone with himself and honestly answer who he is and what he needs to be happy, he is doomed to realize at one fine moment that life has been lived in vain. Even selfless care for the family can often turn into misunderstanding and neglect on the part of the spouse and children. They will take this for granted, and it is unlikely that they will be able to achieve the same attentive attitude towards themselves.
Few people respect those who are ready to dissolve into others without a trace. Despite the love and respect for those who are nearby, a person must be a person. And to become it, you can only understand how to be realized in life and what kind of person to be.
Photo: how to understand yourself and understand what I want
How to understand what I want
- Hiding constantly behind a mass of everyday affairs, chatting with friends, acquaintances, watching movies, every day you live you refuse to recognize yourself, to understand why sometimes it becomes sad and lonely, and life seems empty and monotonous. Try to spend at least a day the way you want, but in the evening or best of all in the morning, be sure to stay in silence alone with yourself. Let the thoughts flow, don't push them away, focus on who you are and what you would do if you had the opportunity to quickly change everything.
- To put your thoughts into words, use a piece of paper on which describe your life as you imagine it. And then make a list of qualities that you are rightfully proud of or would like to improve. Think about what qualities you lack in order to achieve what you want, and develop them.
- If you don’t like the place of work, the bosses are annoying, and you always seem to be underestimated, it’s time to change jobs or start your own business.
- Catch yourself thinking that the family no longer brings joy, as at the very beginning. Housework has become a chore, you have become a housekeeper, and a diploma of higher education gather dust on the shelf. So, you want to be realized not only as a mother and wife. Consider looking for a job. Do not sacrifice your dreams, if you wish, you can always hire a housekeeper or distribute responsibilities around the house. If a man has created a family, he is also obliged to take care of her comfort, helping in everyday life, since he cannot hire an assistant.
- If you want to help people with advice, experience, knowledge, fight negligent officials, do community work.
- From time to time there are thoughts about how many unfortunate people there are in the world. You get real pleasure from helping the destitute, feeding homeless animals or have already taken an unfortunate puppy, kitten or a large dog / cat from the street, make donations for the construction of the temple, for sick children, orphans, the disabled, your calling is charity. If you want to make the world a better place, you have something to be proud of. You know how to empathize and empathize. You have a beautiful soul, because good deeds have no earthly price.
- Remember, you can understand yourself, but it will only benefit if you use the knowledge gained in practice. Absolutely nothing will change if you learn a lot more about yourself than before, but do not use this for yourself and others for the good.
Do not try to break yourself, compromise with your own conscience, or look for easier ways in life, giving up your innermost goals and desires. Learn to be attentive not only to relatives, friends, acquaintances and others, but also to yourself. To make this world a little better, and your life like the one you dreamed about, you need to find harmony with yourself. It is possible to achieve it only when a person has found the strength to understand himself.
It's all about the book - it, a thick book in a cardboard cover that you don't want to let go of, with cherry letters and wonderful drawings, was brought in the evening by a bookstore courier. How long have I not read paper books! And maybe I have never read books with cherry letters. I put the children to bed, turned off the computer (when was this?), covered myself with a blanket, made tea and ... swam. Somewhere in childhood, where you don’t think about time, deadlines and other nonsense like an unfed husband and two ringing phones. And then bam! - it's all over. "What's the matter?" - did not understand me, lying under the covers in broad daylight (only 10 pm!), Husband.
And it started: a couple of dozen “what-of-things” immediately popped up in my head. None of these "what-of-things" was pleasant, I did not want to remember them - but they climbed into my head on their own. The list included: a forgotten physical education uniform, a truant in physics control, SMS of dubious content, a website that was not launched on time, lost documents, a disconnected phone, a forgotten physical education uniform, now my daughter's.
Of course, I guess - this happens to each of us: the crocodile is not caught, the coconut does not grow. But only someone cries, prays to God, and I sit down and try to solve the problem: why is it not caught, why is it not growing, why everything is wrong and what can be changed to change “minus” to “plus”. And sometimes it turns out that our personal, concrete, momentary happiness is often found in funny little things, simple things, unexpected turns. And maybe you should think about it and listen to yourself. And to those who are nearby. (Ah, if my husband immediately realized that it was all about a book with cherry letters, I would be happier for the whole evening!)
For example, one day I realized: it's all about the immediate environment. And if you want to move forward, you need to first with homeopathic doses to proven old friends, and then more and more boldly add new acquaintances. Everything will change! How to understand yourself and find your calling.
Later there was a case when it dawned on me: the whole thing is in the Kama Sutra. And if things aren't going well for me, it's because I'm having trouble with the ancient arts. Where am I, and where is the skill and experience of ancestors? Wanting to advance in the art of love, I opened the treatise to the first page that came across, read: “When a man during intercourse turns and enjoys a woman without leaving her, while she hugs him from behind without letting go, this is called the “turning position” and it can only be achieved with experience. I wondered how THIS could be adapted to life. Imagination failed on the first verb. I didn't give up and...
… managed to draw a suitable conclusion! From now on, not "Kama Sutra" for me, but I for "Kama Sutra". As I like it, so it is right!
Even later, I realized: it's all about the view outside the window. What to hide: I have no view from the window. He is not on "3" and not even "2". It is with a minus sign. And that means that something needs to be changed (I immediately remembered Vera Polozkova and her “one must live by the sea, mother”), and then somewhere deep, a little lower and behind, behind the heart, something alarmed groaned. I know it's the fear of change. And while I'm afraid, I'm afraid, my friends tell me (and you!) the secrets of their happiness. They know what it really is! And how can you understand yourself.
How to understand yourself: personal experience
Veronika Sysueva, PR business consultant
I moved to another city two years ago, because of the great love that happened to me thanks to the Internet. Love outside the Internet did not work. I had no close friends, no job, no prospects. For several days in a row, I just lay on the couch in a rented apartment and thought about what to do next. IN hometown I had a business, clients, and who needs me here?
And then, through new acquaintances, a man came who offered me to sell ... crushed stone! I am a girl in a skirt and heels. And here it is. Rubble. I dreamed about him for three nights, this rubble. Workers, trucks, "Kamaz", going into the distance. And I'm a rubble queen. I fell asleep, studying the schemes for the delivery of rubble and the documents regulating such work.
Friends told me: “Start with this, and then you will choose another industry. Good money is guaranteed here.” I meditated on rubble for almost a week, but when I woke up one day in a sweat with the thought that my "rubble" KamAZ had turned over somewhere, I realized: rubble is just rubble. I don't know anything about him. And most importantly, I don't want to know! My soul does not lie to him, and my eyes do not burn. I made my conclusion: rubble is a test for those who do not know where to move. Think about it, and much becomes clear. Are you ready to do something that is not your own, albeit a profitable one?
I quickly realized that this was not for me. I want to spend my life on things that really interest me. I refused. She never became a rubble queen. But she became who she became. Now I have a business that I'm interested in doing. Thanks rubble! Helped me understand
Alexander Teksel, psychologist, sexologist
One day I realized - it's all about shorts. No, I had already guessed that the world is not easy. But that morning I realized that you can't fool yourself. You can wear an expensive suit. You can even buy an apartment in a prestigious area. BUT! It is in linen that the real psychology of wealth is manifested.
No, of course, shorts that stand like a mink coat will not give success on their own. Success will be given by a life position, an impulse due to which a person buys an expensive accessory, the choice “I want this for myself!” instead of "Yeah, I'll manage!".
And along with this choice, a habit will be formed that will continue to go with us through life and work in all situations, from insignificant to fateful.
Expensive underpants are a feeling of comfort, tactile pleasure, a sense of confidence in general and, if you have to stay in one underwear, in particular. All this forms an energy potential that others subconsciously feel. And they react accordingly. And they want to do business. And they just want to.
One lady, having gathered for bread, realized that she did not have a hairstyle. And I thought: “A car will hit me now, an ambulance will come for me, and the male doctors will see that I am without a haircut. So uncomfortable! And stayed at home. If you change the bike in my way, then you can go out for bread without a haircut. But underwear should be ... It should not just be, it should be cool.
No one will see, no one will know. So is it worth paying more? Now you know the answer.
P.S. There is a caveat! Do you buy panties while suppressing economy and rationality? Alas, to gain confidence and luck in this case will not work. The mechanism will start only when you get sincere pleasure from the purchase.
Evgenia Mayskaya, photographer
“Kid and Carlson” was the title of my favorite book. Since then, I know that all children dream of a dog. I dreamed so much that my mother and I had a curly cocoa-colored puppy and lived a happy dog life with us.
I grew up and became a photographer. I remember how I walked around the parks with a camera and physically felt that I was missing something. That is someone. One day I saw an Akita dog and realized: so that's what it's all about!
So I got Idris. My furry treasure now lies nearby and looks with loving eyes. And, looking into these honest eyes, I will write an ode to them, and at the same time I will argue my happiness.
Being the owner of a charismatic dog, I can, as it turned out, find approaches to professional photo communication with dogs in general.
Idris knows that any photographer needs to be walked down the street every day and led by the leash in such a way that he has strong arm muscles. I agree: at the moment when the very, very shot happens, not a single muscle will flinch in a trained me.
In the Akita genes is a caring attitude towards children, with kids the dog is a nanny, a weeping remedy. Idris easily makes new acquaintances, and some new acquaintances later become my heroes. Maybe we should go out together more often.
Actually, I don't think it's because I'm a photographer. Be me the captain long-distance navigation or fashion designer for dolls, I would still love an Akita, Idris.
Tehkhi Polonskaya, journalist
I was a happy girl. FROM light hand parents appeared in my life journalism, theater studios: with my last name it was difficult to grow up as an uncreative person. But my name, important, combining both the home version of my Jewish Esther and the favorite book heroine of Max Fry, was born over time. I felt cramped in my passport name. 11 years of reflection - and I realized: we need to change! So I finally became myself.
And it turns out I'm not the only one! We, those who are sure - it's all about the name - a whole crowd. Linor Goralik, Yana Frank, Anfisa Chekhova (I'm not even talking about Max Fry - and it's so clear). I run the blog "Made a name" - about us. For some, a name is fashion (why be Just Alena? You can write in Alyon's passport, and then find your betrothed among the crowd of people asking questions), for some it's cosmopolitanism (it's easier to travel the world), but for me it's the only given .
I asked, "What's the matter?" those who are not indifferent to my torment. My plan of action is clear. Expensive linen - time. Anti-gravel (in the sense - to work only with those who do not feel sorry for the most precious thing - the only life) - two. A dog... No, you have to grow up for a dog. Deal with the fear of moving, get maternity capital, sell the cave, get a mortgage and then (pa-bam!) - three. Dog. Not necessarily an Akita. Well, I'm fine with the last point: I've been Ira Ford for the seventh year. Even those who studied with me in the first grade call me that! And it looks like I'm on the right track. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay? After all, it is possible that the topic is not fully disclosed, and in fact the whole point is in your fists. That would be great!
Have these stories helped you understand how you can understand yourself?
Good afternoon, dear readers! How well do you know yourself? If you are asked to describe yourself, as if from the outside, what would you say? For many people, sooner or later, a period of introspection and self-knowledge begins. But it is not always clear where to start and how to do everything right so as not to drown in a sea of psychological information and not make things worse for yourself. After all, not everything is as easy as it seems at first glance. Today I offer you a simple but convenient plan on how to understand yourself, personality psychology and introspection.
Psychological tests
Usually a person begins to know himself through psychological tests. The point, of course, is not bad, but learning how to interpret test results correctly is not so easy. Psychologists have been teaching this for several years, preparing for certain results, they are taught to look not only at numbers and indicators, but also at the person himself, at the situation, at the circumstances.
Remember that many tests are based simply on general provisions and do not take into account your features. It is impossible to understand yourself or other people only by passing such tests. If you really want to get an in-depth analysis, then I advise you to contact a psychologist who will draw up a psychological portrait for you.
A person is constantly changing, becoming better, reconsidering his views on life, learning new things. I have not yet met a single person who would remain exactly the same all his life. Personality has the ability to develop. Keep this in mind when doing self-digging.
I bring to your attention the article "". In it you will find many practical and useful tips, which will help you figure out where to start, how best to act and where to go. Do not be afraid and do not rush to everything at once. Be gradual and thorough, then you will definitely succeed.
"I" in relationships
When a person learns to know his essence, then, one way or another, he draws attention to himself in a relationship. And, in general, there is a reassessment of relationships past, present and future. This is an important and big part of life, so understanding yourself in terms of relationships is extremely important.
It doesn't matter if you are currently in a relationship or not. You still need to analyze this part of your life. Choose a time when no one will distract you, when you can sit quietly and calmly alone with your thoughts.
Sometimes a woman in a relationship gets so carried away that she ceases to be herself. She melts into a man. Familiar? I have several clients who, after a breakup or divorce, were completely lost in life, because, apart from their husband, there was nothing in life. Nothing of his own. This is a catastrophically wrong situation.
Therefore, in a relationship, it is important to understand your desires and dreams, think about your activities, spend time apart. You should not dissolve in a person, no matter how tempting it may seem. Losing yourself next to another person is easy, but then finding it is hard.
Yes, and many men should carefully look at themselves in a relationship. Why does the choice always lean towards girls like this that hurt so much? After all, a happy person who has caught harmony, and relationships develop well. Think about it.
In the article "" you can find interesting thoughts that will tell you what is going wrong and how to fix it all. Remember hopeless situations can not be.
Work - career
But besides relationships, there is another important issue that should be thoroughly understood. This is your profession and your job. One of my clients from youthful years worked as a secretary. The work was not particularly dusty, but she constantly felt dissatisfied and annoyed.
After long conversations, it turned out that she did not digest work in the office at all. Of course, she did not run headlong to quit. After all, you have to earn money to live.
The girl approached the question responsibly. She began to figure out what she could do outside the office and still earn enough money. Now she works as a florist, opened a chain of her own flower shops and arranges master classes for beginners.
You can find your calling even in deep middle age. You can verify this by reading the article "". In it, I talk in detail about all sorts of ups and downs associated with a career.
Try to understand whether you like what you do, what processes at work you enjoy, and what annoys and pisses you off. Do not immediately think that the current work is nonsense and you need to change everything in your life.
Be consistent and calm. It is especially important not to make hasty decisions on emotions. No wonder they say - the morning is wiser than the evening.
Interests
In addition to work, there are also hobbies. It is impossible to know yourself without this side of life. It does not happen that a person only goes to work and then watches TV at home. There are always books, going to the movies with friends, bowling or trips out of town.
For self-development, it is very important to do some things outside of work and at home. You can know yourself not only by sitting in a chair and thinking. Doing something new, you will find out your desires, understand what you want and where you are striving.
A friend of mine seems to have tried a million things in her life. And vocals, playing the piano, photography, styling and makeup, camping and rock climbing, charity and helping orphans. What just was not in her life.
She quit some classes quickly enough, without even having studied for a week. Others became a real hobby and, to some extent, have remained to this day. Do not be afraid to look for yourself and find out your hobbies. The more new you experience, the better you will know your essence.
In all this, it is important to maintain harmony. Of course, a person cannot be torn apart and be everywhere. Sometimes it is not so easy to combine work, hobbies, family and friends. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something, make concessions. Here, too, a field for reflection opens up for you. What and why are you willing to give up?
I bring to your attention the article "". From it you will learn how to correctly allocate your time, pay the right amount of attention to all aspects of your life and find inner harmony.
You can get to know yourself with the help of other people. How? Ask your relatives, acquaintances and friends to write you a certain characteristic. positive and negative qualities. Just make sure you don't get offended by people for the truth that might be revealed to you.
Take the information as new knowledge that will help you become even better and change your life.
Pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes very important and necessary discoveries come to us at night. Learn to remember what you dreamed. For this there is great amount techniques that you can find on the Internet.
Pay close attention to yourself in anger and when upset. In such states, the most naked truth usually comes out. From the depths of my soul. Therefore, pay attention to those things that make you angry and annoying. Learn to understand your real attitude to what is happening.
Read Barbara Sher's book What to dream about". It can push you to new achievements, which for some reason you were afraid to do before.
Have you ever helped a person understand himself? Do you often have heart-to-heart conversations with loved ones? Are there things you would be afraid to know about yourself?
Feel free to go forward and do not be afraid, you will succeed!
class="h-0" >Learn to face the truth. In psychology, there is such a thing - causal attribution, in other words, the property of a person to come up with a reason for his actions, to justify them. For example, I will not go on a diet from tomorrow, they say, I already have a difficult period in my life, restrictions will only aggravate my situation. Actually: I won't go on a diet from tomorrow because I'm too lazy, I can't, etc. If I really I want to understand myself The first thing I do is stop lying to myself. Self-deception is the enemy of our growth.
The second point: you need to visualize your thoughts. As old as the world, but still: take a sheet of paper and a pen. And we try to write about what torments and torments us. Example: My boyfriend dumped me and I can't figure out why. So, we are trying to be above the situation and not wishful thinking. You can write your pros and cons in two columns, it will work. You can describe your image of the ideal in one part of the sheet. loving girl, and then relate it to yourself. Etc…
The following is also important: each person needs to live inside himself again those moments for which he was ashamed. They hide on the mezzanine of our memory, from time to time reminding us of themselves. This is a destructive path! How to deal with your feelings if it makes you sick to remember them? There is only one way out: to remember the thoroughly lived situation, in all the details. Then consider whether a conclusion has been made. If yes, forgive yourself. Loudly, out loud, forgive yourself. This is important: the past should not be oppressive.
How to understand yourself, how to understand yourself?
class="h-1" >Do not try to solve all your internal problems at once. It is better to distribute this work for a specific period. For example, designate the next week of your life as an enlightenment week. Each day is devoted to a specific question that your mind will seek the answer to. On Monday, for example, you will try to understand why you are unhappy with your appearance, how you can fix it. Do something that your hands never reached - go to a good hairdresser, get to a beautician, sign up for a massage course. By the way, new impressions distract from depressing thoughts.
To find out how to understand yourself Read popular psychology. If you don't want to go into it, watch the movies. Our consciousness can, as if on purpose, choose to watch a film that is relevant to us today. For many people, analyzing other people's stories is extremely productive.
Keep a diary. This habit won't hurt anyone, and for many people it's an ally. personal growth. Indeed, often a person treats the diary as a controller of his own actions. By “reporting” on the events of the day or week, you implicitly want to show the diary what you have achieved. And this is a good motivation to work on yourself!
Set goals, decide what you want in life. Train your willpower, patience, try to be attentive, consistent, grateful. And remember - at the heart of our internal success lies serious self-discipline.
The desire to understand oneself and one's feelings, in other people usually arises during some life difficulties. The need to make an important decision, decide on plans or evaluate your feelings, attitude towards a certain person. Although the desire to learn how to understand your feelings and thoughts may arise not only in these situations, because each person is individual. That's why this question is complex enough to have a concrete answer. But we will try to give examples of ways that will help you understand how to understand people and, above all, yourself.
Understanding ourselves and others
We will divide our conversation into two parts, but only theoretically. This will be a conversation about how to understand yourself and your feelings and how to understand another person, his feelings. Remember that this is only a division in the text, since learning to understand people is impossible without understanding yourself. Let's start with this.
How to understand yourself: methods
Get ready for the fact that this is not easy, and working on yourself is a constant continuous process. It is constancy that will allow you to understand yourself, your feelings and thoughts, without resorting to this painful question anymore.
"Remember yourself" - this is how our first technique will be called. What does it mean? Have you ever noticed that in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, our "I" is lost somewhere... Stop, exhale, don't rush anywhere... Remember yourself, think about yourself. Go to work, school or home, wherever you like, disconnect from all thoughts (you need to cook dinner, do laundry, study ...). Think about yourself, how are you now? What feelings do you experience (physical and spiritual)? Look at the trees, the sky, the people around, but thinking of yourself. Imagine yourself, how you walk, how you look from the side, what do you feel when looking at yourself from the side? Constantly ask yourself these questions and answer them. The more often you can remember yourself, the better you will begin to understand yourself.
Next, you will need time. You need to write two essays. You can even set aside two days for this (one for each). Just don’t be scared, this is not a test of your literacy and spelling, on the contrary, they are absolutely not needed here, but we want to understand how to understand our feelings, and not school knowledge.
- The first composition is "what boiled over." Sit down and write absolutely EVERYTHING that bothers you, infuriates, annoys, dislikes, displeases you. Touch all areas of life: home, family, financial situation, work, companion, children, etc. Everything that does not suit you regarding one or another aspect of life. Do not think, do not touch on thoughts, we write feelings, it is they that need to be understood.
- The second essay is "what I want." Again, write whatever comes to mind, whatever you desire, as you would like. Discuss, reflect, write.
- Next, you need to analyze these compositions daily. Sit down in the evening and read one thing, then another.
- Try this technique: "Me in 10 years (20, 30)". What kind of person do you imagine yourself to be? Here it is important not to fantasize, but to imagine how you really see yourself, based on the given time. What have you achieved? What do you have? What suits you and what doesn't? Can this be fixed today? And How?
- Watch yourself in every unusual situation. It is especially useful to do this in a situation of conflict, discomfort, a new environment. For example, you were rude to the driver of a minibus filled with people because you slammed the door. Everyone is looking at you. How are you now? What do you feel? Why do you think? Or another example: You are on holiday abroad for the first time. What feelings do you experience (not thoughts, feelings!)? In general, analyze yourself always.
- Understanding yourself is a mandatory dialogue with yourself. Self-analysis, self-observation. This is what will help you understand other people, because you will develop the skill of considering the situation, yourself, problems from the outside. The ability to take the position of another is the way to learn to understand people.
Learn to understand others
In general, we have already touched on this issue. To understand other people, you must learn to understand yourself. This is necessary in order to be able to stand on the side of another person. But not just imagine, but get used to another person, completely immerse yourself in him, try to understand how he feels, what he feels, what he thinks, what would you be like in his place? By the way, always remember, all people are individual. You can try to understand the feelings of another, but you will never experience them. Do not copy your feelings to another, do not think that if you do not care in some situation, then it does not matter to another.
As often as possible, try to imagine yourself in the place of another person. You can even do it while walking down the street. You see how the other was doused by the car. Try to imagine what the person is experiencing? What is it like for him? How would you feel? What would others think of you if you were in this situation?
Observe other people in different situations. Watch always. Look at the facial expressions, pay attention to the voice, movements. This is especially important when you yourself are involved in the conversation. Look the person in the eye, follow him. Just don't turn it into a cult, keep the unspoken rules, don't stare at a person while sitting on a bus. Do it unobtrusively, imperceptibly.
Always think before you say something to someone. Imagine that you were told the same thing. Think about what thoughts and feelings your words might evoke.
Do you want to understand how to understand other people? Ask questions. Not just for himself, but for a person. Does the person seem offended? Ask directly. “Are you upset about something?”, “What are you thinking about?”, “How would you feel if I ...”, “What makes you angry?”, “Why are you silent?” etc. Try to avoid questions with "why", they are often perceived as provocative, people have a defensive reaction.
