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Sometimes our actions are based on a serious psychological conflict that can develop into a neurosis. Freud believed that neurosis is a conflict between human instincts and social norms. It manifests itself in anxiety, low self-esteem, a sense of insecurity.

website offers to take a simple psychological test: it will help you figure out how things are going with your psychological health.

1. A friend you haven't seen in 100 years calls you. Offers to meet in a cool restaurant and talk heart to heart. You have the last hundred in your pocket. Your actions?

A) I will answer that it is possible to meet, but in a more affordable place: there is no extra money. Besides, he needs a meeting.

B) I agree: I can’t admit that I have less money than him. Even if we haven’t seen each other for 100 years, I can’t fall into the dirt on my face.

C) An expensive restaurant is great: at least we'll eat. The main thing is to move the score to a friend in time. I wish I could remember his name.

2. You are walking down the street and you hear a group of people laughing out loud behind you. What are your thoughts at this moment?

A) Someone must be joking, since everyone is having so much fun. I need to meet my friends too.

B) It must be above me. What's wrong with me, I'm walking crooked? Stupid sweater, should not have bought it.

C) I’ll listen: maybe I’ll take note of an interesting anecdote. What if there is someone nice and you can get to know each other?

3. You are away on business and no one is home. What will you be thinking about most of the time?

A) About business, of course: where else to go, what else to buy.

B) Is the iron turned off? Are the faucets closed? What if the door was left open? We must hurry home before the stove explodes.

C) I will admire nature and enjoy the moment, because the world is beautiful.

4. You accidentally spilled coffee on your clothes, and ahead is the way home in public transport. How will you behave?

A) Calmly: there are normal, good people around, just like me. They understand everything. Spilled coffee doesn't make me worse.

B) Everyone is watching! You have to cover up with something. What a nightmare, shame and disgrace, I will never drink coffee again.

C) Great, at least I’ll buy new jeans. And I'll leave these as they are - in case you need to attract attention.

5. A smart and handsome acquaintance, whom you are madly in love with, calls you on a date. Your actions?

A) I agree. It's great when you can spend time with the person you like. Maybe we have a lot in common and we will become a great couple.

B) I will refuse. I don't deserve this beauty and intelligence. I still need a promotion, courses, a new haircut and a gym membership for a year. Maybe then.

C) Class! Everything goes into the hands, I see. Jeans work.

Choose which answers you got the most - A, B or C

Option A

You have a stable self-esteem, you are calm and always assess the situation reasonably. Whatever happens around you, you will make the right decision: weigh the facts, find the missing links and fix the problem. You have everything in order with self-esteem: you know how to protect your interests, prioritize and just enjoy life. Trust yourself and the world. You think outside the box, find the positive in any situation and know how to laugh at yourself.

Your openness to new things and curiosity will help you achieve a lot. Set goals and keep moving forward without turning back!

Question to a psychologist

Hello. I am 21 years old. At the moment I am studying abroad and I do not have the opportunity to go to a psychologist, but I feel that I have problems. I met a girl here, we've been living together for a year, at first everything was fine, but then I started jumping, I don't like that she dresses openly and shortly, I tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't react to it at all, she finds different excuses, in general, various thoughts of jealousy constantly torment me, I seem to be going crazy, I became very attached to this person, when she flies home or I fly away, it’s as if I can’t find a place for myself, I start to constantly torment myself, I know that there are places of personal the space of the social network where she sits exposes her photos where different guys write comments to her, and I just can’t cope with it, I can’t pull myself together, I start asking her questions after which we swear, What happens, it comes to parting, but then we compare, I constantly think about her, I tried to distract myself in all sorts of different ways (I went to rest) films, books, TV shows, but on vacation I see couples and immediately remember her and I begin to torment, I can hardly endure separation with her, not with my family, I don’t have a mother, only my father with a stepmother and a very small brother, but that’s not the point, whatever I don’t do, I think about her all the time, but there is no such reciprocity, and it brings me more pain, help me how to fight it all. Before she met a girl, there was a betrayal on her part because of which it was very painful. Thank you.

Hello Eugene!

I would recommend that you still find an opportunity and work with a psychologist, at least via Skype. You now have a lot of feelings, which, as it seemed to me, are confused and not very clear to you. And it would be good to recognize them, define them and find some place for them in your life.

Bondareva Svetlana Pavlovna, psychologist of Almaty

Good answer 5 bad answer 0

Hello Eugene! Jealousy is low self-esteem and self-doubt. If you do not have the opportunity to study with a psychologist, then try to start cultivating yourself, i.e. become self-sufficient. Take care of yourself: find an interesting hobby, sports, books, going out into nature, etc. When you have many interests, you will be interesting to your girlfriend. You will have less time for bad thoughts, and besides, you will be healthy, and this is very much appreciated in our time. The probable psychological reason for your jealousy: perhaps you were left without a mother and therefore you are unconsciously afraid of losing your girlfriend. But jealousy is no help!

All the best!

Chernysh Nadezhda Nikolaevna, psychologist in Almaty

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Hello Eugene. Your feeling of jealousy is a trace of a past unsuccessful love. How to deal with the remaining resentment and start a new relationship, you can read in the article:. If something is not clear, call us, we will figure it out together. Good luck.

Sincerely, the psychologist of Almaty, Chembotaeva Bayana

Good answer 5 bad answer 2

Hello Eugene.

To date, your girlfriend is the closest person to you. In your family, despite the relationship, you could not get proper attention from your parents. Therefore, when you started building a relationship with a girl, you got everything: love, care, intimacy, dialogue, unity. You and your girlfriend are like one whole, a living organism, one breath, one pulse, one border of your common body. In order not to lose this feeling, you carefully treat everything that binds you. Unfortunately, this connection has another side, you are like Siamese twins with the same circulatory system, but you have different hearts, souls and bodies. The connection between you is so strong and painful that it looks like an emotional addiction. This speaks of the fear of losing your soulmate and with it love, care, intimacy, etc. To move to a different level of relationship, you need to look at your relationship from a different position, see yourself from the outside, through the eyes of other people, through the eyes of your girlfriend. How does she feel when you are jealous? Is it always love and trust? Maybe there are other sensations. Until now, you have seen everything from only one position, from your own. But by seeing your relationship from different angles, you might see an opportunity to change it, to improve it, to find a way to trust without losing a sense of closeness. At the same time, you will get the opportunity to rise above your fears and jealousy.

Sincerely.

Tskhai Lyudmila Melsovna, psychologist of Almaty

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Hello Evgeny!

I propose to meet with a not very simple fact - the girls with whom you met or meet in fact do not belong to you. Even when people get married and exchange rings, no one can actually guarantee that a moment will come that a partner or partner will find another love. It is impossible to take away from a girl the opportunity to see other men, show herself to other men and be in a choice - you or someone else. Otherwise, you need to be a Muslim and dress your girlfriend in a veil.

There is always a danger of losing a loved one, but as a rule, all people want intimacy, strong relationships, and stability. And women - even more so.

Here is what I can offer you against your jealousy.

I also work on Skype.

Best regards, Olga Khablova

Khablova Olga Evgenievna, psychologist of Almaty

Good answer 4 bad answer 2

Hello Eugene!

Jealousy does not lead to good things.

If you are jealous, then you feel insecure.

If others compliment your girlfriend, then you do them too. A woman needs compliments to thrive.

Direct your energy of jealousy to achievements, to earnings, ... So that you look more promising in the eyes of a girl than those who write to her. So that she admires you and thinks that she was not mistaken in her choice.

A man becomes a man through achievement. Women really appreciate it and choose the best.

Don't sort things out. Do not extinguish energy with entertainment. Go ahead for achievements.

This situation can be very good for you to grow up.

Eliseeva Galina Mikhailovna, psychologist of Almaty

Good answer 6 bad answer 2

To get started, grab a pen and paper to write down your answers. Do not try to analyze questions too much, write what comes to mind, from the heart and soul. You can even sketch if you like...

1. So, imagine that you are walking through the woods. You are walking with someone. With whom do you imagine such a walk?
2. An animal is running near you. Which one?
3. What happens after the forest animal looks at you?
4. Walking further through the forest, you come to a large clearing on which stands the house of your dreams. Describe its size?
5. Is there a fence around your house?
6. You enter the house, and the first room on your way is a dining room with a dining table. Describe this table and what you see around it.
7. Leaving the house through the backyard, you find a cup in the grass. What is it made of?
8. What will you do when you see this cup?
9. After passing through the backyard, you come to the pond. What is he?
10. You need to cross this body of water and get to the opposite bank, how will you do it?

Everything you wrote above demonstrates what values ​​​​you have in life and how you feel about them. And also some of your problems and your subconscious perception of them.

1. As you guessed, the person next to you is the most important person in your life.
2. The size of the imaginary animal is actually how big your problems in life feel to your subconscious.
3. The way that meeting in the woods went is your way of responding to problems (being aggressive, waiting and "doing nothing" or running away).
4. The size of the house is equal to the size of the ambition. If it is excessively large, then your ambitions are prohibitive.
5. The presence of a fence indicates your isolation. If there is no fence around the house, you are an open and sociable person who easily lets people into your territory.
6. If there are no people, flowers or food in the dining room on the table or around, then deep down you are unhappy.
7. A cup in the grass is your relationship with a partner. And the strength of the material is the strength of the union. For example, plastic or thin glass - your relationship is at risk. Porcelain, clay or metal - nothing threatens your union.
8. What you did with the bowl characterizes your attitude towards the person from the first question.
9. The size of your backyard pool is the size of your libido, your sex drive.
10. The more you get wet while crossing this body of water, the more important you give sex in life.

Pay attention to the fact that this test is not a reflection of the situation in your life as a whole, it can give you an idea of ​​​​what is happening in your subconscious. When the circumstances around you change, the answers will change.

This test (the so-called Leary Questionnaire) is very popular among professional psychologists because of its convenience and information content. Try it out for yourself as well.

The convenience of this test is that you can evaluate yourself. And you can evaluate someone else. Try to evaluate yourself first, and then ask someone close to evaluate yourself.

You are a person who:

1. Knows how to like.

2. Makes an impressive impression on others.

3. Knows how to dispose, order.

4. Knows how to insist on his own.

5. Has self-respect.

6. Independent.

7. Able to take care of himself.

8. Can show indifference to a person.

9. Capable of being harsh.

10. Strict but fair.

11. Can be sincere.

12. Critical of others.

13. Likes to cry.

14. Often sad.

15. Capable of showing distrust.

16. Often disappointed.

17. Capable of being self-critical.

18. Able to admit when you're wrong.

19. Willingly obeys.

20. Compliant.

21. Grateful.

22. Admiring and prone to imitate.

23. Respectful.

24. Seeking approval.

25. Capable of cooperation, mutual assistance.

26. Strives to get along with others.

27. Benevolent.

28. Attentive and affectionate.

29. Delicate.

30. Encouraging.

31. Responsive to calls for help.

32. Selfless.

33. Able to arouse admiration.

34. Enjoys respect from others.

35. Has a talent for leadership.

36. Likes to take responsibility for a common cause.

37. Self-confident.

38. Businesslike, practical.

40. Competitive.

41. Steady and tough where needed.

43. Relentless, but impartial.

44. Open and direct.

45. Does not tolerate being commanded.

46. ​​Skeptical (refers to everything with doubt).

47. He is hard to impress.

48. Touchy, scrupulous.

49. Easily embarrassed.

50. Insecure.

51. Compliant.

52. Modest.

53. Often resorts to the help of others.

55. Willingly accepts advice.

56. Trusting and eager to please others.

57. Always amiable in getting around.

58. Treasures the opinions of others.

59. Sociable and accommodating.

60. Kind-hearted.

61. Kind, inspiring confidence.

62. Gentle and soft-hearted.

63. Likes to take care of others.

64. Generous.

65. Likes to give advice.

66. Gives the impression of significance.

67. Commanding and commanding.

68. Domineering.

69. Boastful.

70. Arrogant and self-satisfied.

71. Thinks only of himself.

72. Sly.

73. Intolerant of the mistakes of others.

74. Prudent.

75. Frank.

76. Often unfriendly.

77. Embittered.

78. Complainer.

79. Jealous.
80. Long remembers grievances.

81. Prone to self-flagellation (inflicts moral suffering on himself, repenting of his mistakes or misdeeds).

82. Shy.

83. Lack of initiative.

84. Meek.

85. Dependent, dependent.

86. Likes to obey.

87. Gives others the right to make decisions.

88. Easily gets into trouble.

89. Easily influenced by friends.

90. Ready to trust anyone.

91. Favorable to all indiscriminately.

92. Sympathizes with everyone.

93. Forgives everything.

94. Overflowing with excessive sympathy.

95. Generous and tolerant of shortcomings.

96. Strives to help everyone.

97. Aspiring to success.

98. Expects admiration from everyone.

99. Manages others.

100. Despotic.

101. Treats others with a sense of superiority.

102. Vain (arrogant desire for glory, for veneration).

103. Selfish.

104. Cold, callous.

105. Biting, mocking.

106. Evil, cruel.

107. Often gets angry.

108. Insensitive, indifferent.

109. Resentful.

110. Imbued with the spirit of contradiction.

111. Stubborn.

112. Distrustful and suspicious.

113. Timid.

114. Shy.

115. Helpful.

116. Soft-bodied.

117. Almost no one minds.

118. Intrusive.

119. Likes to be taken care of.

120. Overly trusting.

121. Strives to ingratiate himself with everyone.

122. Agrees with everyone.

123. Always friendly with everyone.

124. Loves everyone.

125. Too condescending to others.

126. Tries to console everyone.

127. Cares about others to the detriment of himself.

128. Spoils people with excessive kindness.

Results processing

The entire list of questions is divided into eight equal parts (16 points each), called octants.

The number of points is calculated separately for each octant. A circled question is worth one point. Keep in mind for control that for each octant the sum of the results cannot exceed 16 points, each of the four people can answer positively to a maximum of 4 questions of the octant. The same applies to your personal results (testing yourself on the entire list of questions): from 0 to 16 points for each octant.

If the subjects (or yourself) read a total of less than 128 questions, then the results cannot be processed.

Depending on the number of points, you can easily determine your characteristic for each of the octants.

1st OCTANT: AUTHORITY - LEADERSHIP. With moderately expressed scores (up to 8), you are perceived as a self-confident person who knows how to be a good adviser, mentor and organizer, able to provide effective group leadership. With average scores (9-12 points) - others let you know that they notice your intolerance of criticism and believe that you overestimate your abilities, showing features of authority in relation to them. With high scores (above 12), people around you experience such pressure from you that they tend to evaluate it as despotism. Your desire to command and teach others in a peremptory tone, which you may not notice, extremely oppresses and repels them, makes them defend themselves and avoid contact with you.

With moderate indicators (up to 8 points), you are perceived as a confident, independent person; competing with others, without crossing the permissible boundaries. Average scores (9-12 points) mean that your independence is perceived by others as a tendency to always take an isolated position in the group, constantly opposing your dissenting opinion to the opinion of the majority. With high scores (over 12), others are convinced that you are characterized by complacency, selfishness and narcissism. In your actions and deeds, you - sometimes even involuntarily - put a sense of your own superiority over others.

With moderate scores (up to 8), in the eyes of others, you can have such properties as spontaneity, sincerity (sometimes straightforwardness), perseverance in achieving the goal. With higher scores, these qualities turn into excessive perseverance, stubbornness, unfriendliness, reaching outright incontinence, excessive temper. If the result is over 12 points, then others are convinced of your aggressiveness.

4th OCTANT: DISCLAIMER - SKEPTICISM. With moderate indicators (up to 8 points), you retain a stable idea as a realistic person, critically evaluating your thoughts and actions, not inclined to change your mind under pressure from the group. An increase in the total score indicates that others begin to notice touchiness, an increase in criticism, turning into negativism, into "denying everything and everything." They see that you are unhappy with them and treat them with unreasonable suspicion (over 12 points).

5th OCTANT: SUBMISSION - SHY. Moderate scores (from 4 to 8) mean that people perceive you as a modest, shy person who tends to take on other people's responsibilities. A further increase in the total points indicates that you are beginning to give the impression of a person not only harmless, but also submissive. Over 12 points: others feel an increased sense of guilt in you, and the behavior is perceived as self-deprecating.

6th OCTANT: DEPENDENCE - OBEDIENCE. Up to 8 points: others notice that you expect help and trust, recognition of your personality and abilities. Further, the feeling of your dependence on the opinions of others grows, which turns into over-conformity - extreme compliance with the pressure of the group (over 12 points), reaching complete dependence on the opinion of the majority.

7th OCTANT: COOPERATION - AGREEMENT. With moderate scores, others perceive you as a person who is ready to cooperate with them, inclined to establish friendly relations with everyone. Above 8 points: you are made to understand that compromise behavior, conciliation makes you less interesting to others, and the outpouring of friendliness and the desire to emphasize your involvement in the interests of the majority (with 12 points and above) become intrusive.

8th OCTANT: RESPONSIBILITY - GENEROSITY. Acquaintances tend to approve of your willingness to help others, a developed sense of responsibility even when they become excessive (over 8 points) and are more sympathetic and condescending to your kindness, over-commitment, emphasized desire to forget yourself for the sake of others (over 12 points).

Note. If you got less than three points in some octant, then all of the listed characteristics are unlikely, and if the scores for all octants do not rise above four, then the data is considered unreliable: the subjects either did not want to be frank or do not know you well enough. Living and communicating for decades is not yet a guarantee of human knowledge. To do this, you need to observe it and be interested in it. The same can be attributed to each one of himself. In addition, the other person always seems to us simpler and more definite, we tend to make more unambiguous and categorical judgments about him than about our own personality.