"Envy is bad feeling", - we often joke and do not suspect how destructive it can be. However modern science and technology are developing by leaps and bounds. And their main motor is competition - the sister of envy. Why is she taking over us? How to get rid of it? Why are we jealous? Where and when is this feeling born? We will discuss this and more below.

Definition

Envy is a feeling of inadequacy to the object of envy in general or in certain aspects. The desire to get what you do not have, but your neighbor has, pushes people to a variety of actions and causes emotions and is physically felt as a burning sensation in the chest and in the frontal part of the head. This vice gives rise to the strongest emotions and, not knowing how to direct them to right direction you can lead your life to ruin. But by taking control of them, you can carve and reshape yourself to a state that surpasses the object of envy. This is positive quality this disadvantage.

Seven deadly sins

As you may have guessed, the feeling of envy is one of the top 7 deadly sins. Like the other six, it creates a dark atmosphere in the soul and does not allow you to enjoy what is happening, enjoy life, think soberly, pulls other vices along with it.

Envy is an evil that provokes a state of despondency and despair. But it is also a mortal sin. There is a good phrase that vividly characterizes the whole essence of envious people: "A person does not need much to be happy, the main thing is that others have less."

There is a parable about the selfish and its essence is as follows: one of the Greek kings was interested to know which of these people is worse. He said that they can ask for anything, but the second one will get twice Moreover what the first one asks for. There was no answer. Then the king turned to the envious one, and he asked ... to gouge out one of his eyes, so that the selfish one would be left without both.

Everything comes from childhood

So where could such a truly terrible vice come from? Children, who were given their more successful peers as an example, limited their opportunities in every possible way, humiliated them, did not give them the opportunity to throw out their positive and negative emotions, did not organize their personal space or categorically invaded it, talked about life as a terrible test without truth and justice, taught to poverty, condemned wealth, did not allow sharing their happiness with the world in order to avoid envy, even if they gave a lot of material goods, but no personal rights to them (here's an expensive doll for you, but don't take it into the yard, don't show it to your girlfriends, don't spoil it, do not get dirty; it turns out that this doll is what it is, what it is not). Such individuals are the fastest to fall into envious despondency.

If a child does not have a sense of his own usefulness, need, envy grows in him in most cases. Why is it so important to make it clear to the child that he is worth something, that his opinion is listened to? In order for him to grow up as a full-fledged member of society. Full-fledged people are happy, and happiness is not the absence of all problems, but the ability to quickly solve them at a high level. Happy people cannot be envious. A priori, they cannot, because they live in a different, more correct reality.

If a child knows from childhood that he is not worthy of all other people, he involuntarily begins to envy everyone, since he does not have what the rest have: necessary knowledge, beautiful clothes, expensive accessories, villas, gadgets, etc. Even reaching a certain level, he will not become happy, as there will be someone better, more successful or more beautiful. And so the feeling of envy develops into a lifestyle and pulls other vices with it. Everything is interconnected.

White and black envy

There is such a thing as "white envy". In Islam and some Christian theologians, it is interpreted as permissible. Although we have already said that envy, anger is bad.

When you envy in a black way, you involuntarily desire something bad man. And white envy is when there is no negative message.

Someone interprets it as joy for the neighbor, as sharing his joy. The world, apparently, has deteriorated so much that it is not possible to believe in the sincere joy of your neighbor for your successes.

No, such people definitely still exist, but why does the bad word "envy" appear here?

Let's say your dream is to visit Miami. You strive for it in every possible way, save money, pick up outfits and probably know that sooner or later you will go there, as everything goes to this. Suddenly find out that your friend and girlfriend are already there and posting photos on Instagram? At this moment, if you are not a completely lost individual, you will envy in a white way.

If you do nothing to achieve your dream, sit back and complain about life, then such a situation can give rise to black envy in you.

You need to be able to switch. After all, switching the "lever" from white to black envy depends on ourselves, on the efforts, beliefs and unspoken laws that we follow.

They rejoice for you, but in their hearts they envy

This is a very common occurrence among educated people. The feeling of wanting to kill for such an impudent success is hidden behind a forced smile, which is very easy to recognize.

When a person rejoices from the heart, the whole face smiles: the mouth, the eyes, and the cheeks. If only the mouth expands, and the eyes and cheeks are motionless, this can be called an insincere grimace, and if only the eyes remain unchanged, then the person is trying to overcome negative sensations, but they take over and absorb him.

Further development of events depends only on education and work on oneself. However, even carefully getting rid of the feeling of envy manually, although it is the best outcome, still takes a lot of vitality. But there is a way out. It is better to rid yourself of envy once and for all. This will help you find peace of mind and happiness.

Envy and jealousy

Jealousy can be called a synonym for envy, since both are generated by pride. But they have a fundamental difference: after all, you envy what you do not have or cannot have, but you are jealous of what belongs to you.

If during the preparation for the competition you were sure that the first place belongs to you, but suddenly someone else won, at that moment you will feel the emotion of jealousy. If this feeling does not fade away soon, it can develop into a stationary feeling of envy.

The nature of envy

To a greater or lesser extent, everyone is subject to this shortcoming, which is why so little is said about envy. And the one who most often says given word even in the phrase "I am not an envious person", "I do not envy anyone" or "I have nothing to envy", is most subject to this vice. This is because other mechanisms and ways to hide this shortcoming are powerless.

Envy can manifest itself as a momentary emotion and fade away - this is normal, because we are all living people. I saw a new beautiful dress from a friend, shuddered, got upset, and then I came to my senses and continue to be friends without hatred for her and not wanting anything bad - this is the norm. Even if this feeling was not at all white, but positive human qualities immediately suppressed it. Religion would not justify this, but for modern society it is quite acceptable.

If a spark of envy, a negative emotion, develops into a long-term feeling that wears you from the inside, it is much more difficult to overcome it, it is this that incinerates a person from the inside.

gender envy

In this case, it would be appropriate to draw a gender line, since male envy and female envy are somewhat different. Girls are more jealous of external beauty and success among men, and a strong half of humanity - career achievements or skills.

If we talk about who is more susceptible to this vice, men or women, then the answer will be unequivocal - women. Why?

Because the life position of girls is passive, and the guys are active. Even if a lady begins to act actively, this is going beyond the rules, even if this is considered the norm in modern world. That is, women act as an object that is evaluated, it is difficult for them to actively influence the situation.

Men are judged by their ability to conquer, by their perseverance. They have the right to actively influence the situation and are even obliged to do so.

However, inter-gender envy also exists when a girl and a guy start fighting on the same battlefield. This can be observed among people of creative professions, as art sometimes blurs gender boundaries.

For everyone to be jealous

We have already decided that envy is a bad feeling. But there are people who enjoy being envied and even upset when their deliberate efforts to provoke this negative emotion do not work.

That's not all, sometimes others because they are envied. It turns out that if you cause a feeling of envy - you are a full-fledged person, and if not, then you are worth nothing? "Disorder" - many people think, and do things that do not bring them any happiness. And nothing but a feeling of envy from the outside.

Spending your life so that you are not condemned, but rather envied, breaks the moral boundaries of the generation of mankind, which is measured in billions of people.

What could be worse than living an unhappy life to spite others? or a friend can break relationships and break fates once and for all, is it worth it?

Social networks - provocateurs of envy

"Social media invented to communicate with friends and relatives," you say. Yes, this is partly true, perhaps they were invented for this good purpose, but the human essence reshaped them to support its ego.

After all, the content that the user posts on his page is regulated by him. And no one wants to show their worst side, their weaknesses, paint their failures (not counting the total grumblers who revel in this). On the pages we see only the best, refined, retouched, selected and exaggerated.

Other users who do not have the opportunity to observe this person on a daily basis are sure that his life consists of holidays alone. In contrast, bright flashes of the biography of others darken their own existence even more. The feeling of inferiority intensifies, the person is depressed.

Anyone who has a taste of remote manipulation of people gets excited and posts more and more envious photos and does not notice that his life revolves only around pictures, and his mood depends on their quality and the number of likes. So they become hostages of envy.

Etymology of the word "envy"

Let's understand its meaning. It is believed that the word envy nevertheless came from seeing. Allegedly, to see beyond the limits of what is permitted, more than it should be. Perhaps the word comes from the "evil eye" that sees.

How to get rid?

Envy is inherent in everyone, but in some it manifests itself as an emotion, a flash, while in others it sharpens every day for years and eats up mental and physical health.

Both cannot be justified, but let it flare up and go out rather than govern a person all his life. This deficiency is best and most effectively dealt with at a very early stage.

1. You need to value yourself for who you are, not to succumb to the efforts of others to lower your self-esteem or express yourself at your expense.
2. Listening to the advice of elders is good, but you can’t stupidly follow them. If you do not want to enter the Faculty of Law, or if you feel that you will not become a highly qualified specialist in this field, then there is no point in ruining your life.
3. It is necessary to set different goals and achieve them.
4. Be happy.
5. Become a master at something.
6. Don't compare yourself to others.
7. Do not justify yourself and do not reproach for trifles.
8. Learn to replace envy with admiration.

Admiration instead of envy

As from hatred to love one step, and from envy to admiration. It is best if such a mechanism is brought up from childhood, then the child grows up as a full-fledged member of society, knows his own worth, does not give offense, and, most importantly, this poisonous feeling does not eat him up from the inside.

Masha has a new doll? Be happy for her, because it would be nice for you if your girlfriend is happy for you in this case. Imagine that Masha is you. If she's happy, then you should be happy too. Are you girlfriends?

Petya got 5 in math, but you didn't? It's just that he knows mathematics well, and you compose poetry perfectly. Everyone has their own talent, and you are gifted no less than Petya. Get together for the weekend and share your skills.

Everyone has their own talent

This phrase saves many from blind envy. Indeed, if fish evaluated themselves on the scale of a cat, then their envy would have no end: they don’t know how to climb trees, instead of wool they have scales, they can’t meow and all the time they want to get to the water as soon as possible.

You need to understand who you are, fully accept it. If you play the violin perfectly, but live in the yard where everyone plays football masterfully, which you categorically do not like and do not know how to do, you may never know that you are a future great musician.

Don't feed your envy

When this feeling boils in us, we consciously or not begin to feed him: "So what if he is rich, but I'm smarter." Such a trick can only be used in relation to a completely desperate teenager, an adult, this phrase only "pats on the head."

As a result, we not only do not get rid of this vice, but also feed it. For a while, this shortcoming will not make itself felt, and then it will flare up with even greater force. Learn to accept the facts: yes, she is prettier, and that's okay.

Learn to love people

You need to learn to see only the good in people, but also resignedly accept the bad. Give yourself more, help, show altruism. Give compliments, say nice words, support - it helps a lot.

You are not the center of the universe

Precisely because we perceive the world around us from the position of our "I", we involuntarily feel ourselves in the center and the most important individual. This applies even to those individuals whose assessment is very underestimated.

Thinking that you are the navel of the earth, and there is no proper attitude towards you, life is unfair, because you deserve more, you can go crazy with envy of everything that surrounds you.

Walk towards your fear

Man with his hands tied psychological sense, rather than others, it succumbs to this vice, because you want to do it, but you can’t. And the main reason, oddly enough, is not the lack of talent or ability, but fear.

A person who is afraid lives in a cage, he is not free. No freedom - no happiness, but unhappy people most vulnerable to sin.

Don't be afraid of relapse

If with great efforts you got rid of the feeling of envy and it seems that it is forever, do not flatter yourself. The situation can provoke, the main thing is to muffle the light until it flares up.

Don't be afraid if your deficiency comes back to you, because you know how to deal with it. Most importantly, don't give up.

The social benefits of envy

It's a paradox, but many deadly sins are the engines of progress. Thanks to laziness, we know what a car is, a food processor, a telephone, an elevator, a robot vacuum cleaner, the Internet, after all. Gluttony supports and develops the food business, and envy generally holds everything in its hands.

Where would Apple be today if not for human envy and greed? Would we know Coca-Cola if not for gluttony? A pizza delivery service in general should idolize laziness.

It is quite common in our society to divide human feelings into good and bad. Of the very little-approved - envy. Let's try to figure out where it comes from, whether it is so bad and whether it is possible to extract at least some benefit from it.

In my opinion, the root of envy is in the universal human need to compare oneself with others. We are social beings. To meet our needs, we need to constantly interact with each other. “What is he – the Other? How does it look like me? What is the difference?" - we answer these questions consciously or unconsciously many times a day... We measure our strength, skills, knowledge, material capabilities... When the comparison - according to our feelings - is in our favor, or we identify ourselves , as a rule, causes a feeling of satisfaction and sometimes joy. When we feel that we are losing something, envy can arise.

Having devalued someone who has the object of your current desire, it is quite likely that you can calm down for a while ... Align in comparison ... But if the method of contact built on depreciation becomes such ... a familiar frame of communication - I think few people enjoy communicating with he will get such a person ... Yes, and loving such a person is hard work ... So, a kind of “unrecognized genius” is slowly taking shape.

The one who loves to “open his eyes” to everyone on their weaknesses and shortcomings ... Such a critic - ready to criticize from any position without asking for his “separately taken” opinion ... If you ask him if he is envious, you will receive righteous indignation in response. He - in his ideas - is exclusively working on "the insight of the broad masses of the population" And the reaction of this very population in response to his attempts to "bring them to clean water" he will attribute to the fact that "the truth hurts the eyes" ...

Is there a resource option for envy? In my opinion, definitely. For example, I compare myself with the Other, and I feel that he understands some professional issue better than me. And if, instead of resentment and the desire to somehow hook him - to devalue him, I have curiosity: “How is it so cool with him? What's stopping me like that? What to learn? What to focus on?”, then I find myself in search of my personal resources. And, quite likely, after some time, having worked hard, I will learn to solve this issue “at the level”.

Here, in my opinion, there is another significant difference between these 2 options. In the first case, I am constantly focused on the Other. I am busy with the fact that I evaluate it - I devalue it.

Well, I immediately “raise myself up” with this - after all, if I evaluate it, it means that I am at least equal to him ... And in the second option, I quickly return to myself to think - to try on, how to try to get a tempting quality or ability for myself …And the energy of envy may well turn into a vector of possible development.

There is also a third option that I want to mention... It happens that getting what the Other has is impossible by definition... Well, for example, I sometimes envy young people... Their elasticity, appearance, lightness, looseness... But at 40 look 20, even with serious surgical interventions, it is unrealistic... And in this case, both a retrospection of the resources of one's age, and taking care of one's soul and body can help, so that even at 40 you feel light and elastic... If you envy what is clearly unattainable for yourself, it is often like that... It’s a good moment to look back at yourself and ask yourself, for example, a couple of questions like this: “Why in my reality do I try so hard to escape, looking at Elbrus and the Andes?” or “What can I do, what can I do, what can I do to calm down for now?”

And one more important observation for me: forbidden, blocked or ignored feelings require,

usually a lot of control. And the control of emotions is a rather energy-intensive business ... We often have to restrain ourselves in the society of Others - to control. But it is one thing - for a short time, according to the current situation or your actual need, and quite another thing - in the categories of "always" or "never". "Always be kind and sensitive" "Never envy anyone." The repressed energy of sensation demands even more energy of control. This definitely raises the level of basic anxiety. And fantasies about the catastrophic nature of a possible outburst of a retained emotion or feeling appear in the internal energy field. And after all it is possible somehow and is simpler, and? For example, at least let your fantasy go “to freedom”, and allow yourself to live the same envy to the maximum. Become - for a while - very, very envious ... You will be surprised how short this time will be, and how easy it will be for you to accept this part of yourself ... Tested on personal experience.

I touched on only a few aspects that are significant for me today in this topic ...

Irina Lopatukhina, practicing psychotherapist

Kinds

Let's start by defining this feeling.

Envy is comparing yourself, your life and other things with another person, and not in your favor. Desire to possess what he possesses, whether material or not.

It can be either white or black. The only difference between them is that the black one destroys both the personality itself and the relationship with those whom he considers to be in a more advantageous position, while the white one is useful and promoting. It helps to bring two competitors closer, to become more mature and conscious, and manifests itself, is expressed in the recognition of the very other, without diminishing personal dignity. This is such a way of treatment on an equal footing, when a person understands that a competitor is better in some way and he has something to strive for, he understands his zone of proximal development.

For example, athletes. After a loss, you can be offended by the whole world, hate the enemy and even leave the sport, or vice versa, admit that he is really stronger, no matter if he was born like that or worked out so hard, want to defeat him next time and get more actively involved in training, setting himself goal.

signs

Our desires, in principle, are formed on the basis of what we see how other people live, otherwise how would we know what exactly we want? But sometimes you have to delve into yourself to understand that corrosive hatred for another person is actually nothing more than a desire to possess what he has. But sometimes it’s much easier to consider him somehow bad than to admit that he is better in some way? Is not it?

Signs by which you can track this feeling in yourself or your interlocutor:

• A strained, overly wide smile, like a mask, moreover, the eyes do not sparkle and do not “burn”. We looked at signs of insincerity.
• The person is grinning, that is, only one half of the lips is movable. If you notice that you have tension, then you should take a closer look at yourself.
• When you share joy, and the interlocutor is not able to support and share it with you. And after communication, your mood either disappears, or you feel devastation, bewilderment. But here you have to be careful, sometimes people don’t know how to be next to a happy person, no matter how strange it sounds. It is much clearer how to be in trouble, then you can console, advise something.
• Excessive criticism and devaluation can also be a sign that they are competing with you, and thus they are trying to “dunk”, pointing out shortcomings each time.
• And sometimes, when they praise, but you do not feel joy. It becomes incomprehensible, they say something good, but you do not believe in a sincere impulse, considering yourself ungrateful and suspicious.

Causes

As they say, all our problems come from childhood. And there is some truth in this, because it is family system influenced the formation of our character. The people who surrounded us when we were little made a huge contribution to our ways of responding to different situations and establishing relationships. Therefore, a person sometimes overly rushes to compete and is constantly stressed when others have something better.

Example

• As a child, there were inflated demands on him, there was only criticism, and there was always a feeling that he was born somehow not like that, “not up to”. And no matter how hard he tried, getting recognition was unrealistic. Do you know people who believe that it’s not worth talking about good things, and everyone understands that, but you need to point out mistakes all the time in order to increase motivation to improve? After such a style of treating a child, just the advice of a psychologist will not help, deep therapy will be needed here, because, growing up, he will treat others the same way.
• The love of loved ones had to be earned. That is, they paid attention to him when he got a good grade, cleaned his apartment, won first place in competitions, and so on. And then he realized that he was not accepted as he was, and he had to try to be the coolest of all.
• Parents themselves could not cope with the cultivation of several children, unable to distribute attention and care. Then the older child begins to fight for the attention of mom and dad, and sometimes such competition becomes a destructive way of life in the future.

And also envy, black, manifests itself with low self-esteem, a feeling of discontent and anger, that there should be justice in the world, but there is none, and in the absence of spiritual initiation, that is, when a girl realizes that she is already a woman, and a boy turns into a man . Sometimes even fifty-year-old men do not know what it is and how to be a man, they do not know how to rely on their own resources and then they hate others who are successful and accomplished.

There are also reasons such as the lack of inner freedom. When a person does not allow himself to do something, and then he envies those who do not limit themselves so much, and has low self-esteem, getting used to sacrificing himself due to unworthiness to want something good.

And that’s all for today, dear readers! And remember, each of us is unique, so appreciate yourself and take care, and if you notice that you can’t cope with emotions, give them an outlet by doing active sports, and then to calm down. And don't forget to subscribe to the blog to stay updated. interesting information how to improve the quality of your life. Bye Bye.

What is envy? What are the causes of envy and where does it come from? How could she be dangerous? In this article you will find, albeit not exhaustive, but rather detailed answers to all these questions.

Envy is a feeling of irritation and annoyance, hostility and hostility caused by the well-being, success and superiority of another person. The envious person sees the object of his envy as a winner, and himself as a loser, and at this moment no reasonable arguments affect him, he is overwhelmed by negative emotions.

Envy is a bad feeling, she is able to turn someone else's success into a sense of her own inferiority, someone else's joy into her own discontent and annoyance. Envy makes a person experience a whole bunch of negative emotions - resentment, hostility, anger, aggression. True, there is also “white” envy, when a feeling of joy for other people's success nevertheless prevails, although some believe that this is not envy at all, but sincere admiration.

The Bible also does not divide envy into “white” and “black” envy, classifying it as a mortal sin. " Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's." Bible, Old Testament, "Exodus" 20:17. If we turn to other scriptures, such as the "Ten Commandments" of Moses and the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Galatians, we can understand that envy lies in the desire of a person to possess what does not belong to him. It can be both material goods and non-material values ​​(beauty, strength, power, success, virtue, etc.). According to church ministers, in accordance with His plans, God gives each person what he needs. The desire to have what you are deprived of, what another person has, contradicts the plans and plans of the Almighty.

But on the other hand, perhaps it is still not worth looking at this manifestation of human feelings so categorically and one-sidedly, because the development of mankind is largely due to envy. The envy of the people to the birds inspired to create aircraft, and perhaps it was the envy of the underwater inhabitants of the deep sea that served as the impetus for the development of scuba gear. In science, art, sports, human envy has always been a stimulus to progress, and it is possible that without it we would have remained a tribe of hairy primates.

Where does envy come from?

There are several versions of envy. According to one of them, envy is an innate feeling inherent in us on genetic level(like laziness), inherited from our ancestors in the process of evolution. Adherents of this theory believe that the envy of people in primitive society pushed them to self-improvement. For example, a less successful hunter, experiencing envy to another successful miner, he tried to make himself a more advanced weapon (bow, arrows, spear), come up with a more cunning plan for how to lure a mammoth into a trap, and in the end he succeeded and he came from the hunt as a winner. Well, or for example ancient woman(not in the sense of old), envious of her rival and her success with men, she tried to be more affectionate and courteous with the opposite sex, began to adorn herself, comb her hair and eventually got the one she liked. Women's envy here became the impetus for action.

The transfer of the “envy gene” to their descendants is, in general, logical and interesting theory, but in my opinion, it describes only constructive, “white envy” and forgets about “black envy”, which, like a worm living inside a person, devours him from the inside, makes him wish the “lucky one” misfortunes and disasters, and certainly does not contribute to self-improvement and good spirit of competition. Due to the fact that this hypothesis of the emergence of a feeling of envy in a person does not stand up to criticism, the more common theory is that the manifestation of envy in a person occurs in the process of social life.

According to this point of view, envy is a consequence of the wrong approaches to raising a child. When parents begin to compare their child for instructive purposes with other children who are more “successful” (obedient, educated, smart, courageous, etc.), so that their child hears everything, they sow in him a seed of envy, from which in the future, the corresponding fruits grow.

If you do not delve into all scientific and near-scientific assumptions about the reasons for starting, then you can easily say that they are quite simple and lie on the surface. The cause of envy is dissatisfaction and a need for something. Someone does not have enough money, and he envies the richer man with black envy, someone is not satisfied with his own appearance and he is ready to curse more in his understanding of the beautiful (slender, tall, etc.), one who needs popularity and sees it with his colleague, is ready to do him some kind of dirty trick out of a sense of envy and annoyance. It's simple if a person is in need of something, looking at a more successful one, he begins to experience envy. After all, a person with excellent health will not envy the physical condition of the patient, well, or a person who appreciates the freedom of the position of a prisoner.

Envy is always a comparison - of others with oneself, oneself with others. To envy means to constantly live in complex system identifications and comparisons. "Better - worse" - the main criterion for comparison. An envious person, comparing himself with someone, comes to the conclusion that he is worse than another. In fact, these two concepts do not exist on their own, they live in our heads.

The reason for envy is also that we see ourselves around the clock, and those we envy - only a moment. So they collide in contradiction: bright flashes of someone else's life and the line of our own life, which we can see in full; centimeters of other people's events prepared for review and many kilometers of tapes of our own destiny. And give us the opportunity to try on their skin, who knows what we will have to lose in our life, what are its significant advantages ...

Why it is impossible to envy or why envy is dangerous

Envy is negative emotion, it, like all other negative experiences, is harmful to human health. Envy, activating nervous system increases blood pressure, speeds up the pulse, contributes to the occurrence of muscle clamps, disrupts the digestive system. Envy is a bad feeling, so before you envy anyone, ask yourself the question: " Do I want to harm my health?».

Envy corrodes not only the body, but also the soul, if you felt a feeling of envy, then you probably remember how unhappy you were. With his thoughts and deeds, an envious person can negate all his good deeds committed by him during his life.

Envy broadcasts a negative program into the human subconscious: Why is everything so bad in my life, why do others have it, but I don't?!". The subconscious accepts this command (the power of thought begins to act): “I have little, I don’t have, I have nothing” and immediately executes it - “No, and it won’t!”. So, as long as a person is envious of other people's material and intangible wealth, he has no chance of getting what he wants.

how energetic vampire envy makes people waste their strength and energy on constantly tracking other people's successes and good fortune.

Envy is also dangerous because sometimes it is not limited to just negative emotions and evil wishes, but forces one to take action when the envious person begins to gossip and slander, intrigue, and sometimes even uses physical force. How this can end can be understood by remembering the story of Mozart and Salieri.

It is unfortunate, but usually people are not even interested in the question of whether how to get rid of envy and stop envy, and in fact, by doing so, they keep inside themselves a constantly acting source of negative emotions, which does not allow them to feel truly happy.

Properties and features of the feeling of envy

sharper and more pronounced in cases where the social distance between the object of envy and the envious person is insignificant. If there is a large difference in age or status between people, then the feeling of envy rarely arises. It is more likely that a person will become jealous of his acquaintance (friend, buddy, work colleague, neighbor, etc.) who bought a new car than Oleg Deripaska, who bought another villa on the Cote d'Azur.

Envy is inherent different people regardless of their nationality, character, temperament and gender. BUT! As it became clear after a series of sociological studies, envy tends to weaken with age. Starting from the age of 60, its level decreases markedly, and vice versa, those who fall into the category from 18 to 25 experience it more acutely. Everything is logical, give everything to the young at once, and they do not think about how hard and what sacrifices fortunes are made, it is much easier for them to believe that wealth fell on a person from heaven, hence the feeling of envy. And old people, on the one hand, are more experienced, wiser and understand a lot, on the other hand, due to their age, they don’t need much.

From Latin envy (livor) is translated as "blue". No wonder people say "turned blue with envy." In China, an envious person is identified by the eyes, and envy is called "red eye disease."

By the way, the words "hatred" and "envy" differ only in prefixes. You can paraphrase a well-known saying, and it turns out - "From envy to hatred is one step."

No wonder people say that envy is a bad feeling. It does not allow to live in peace either to those who experience it, or to those to whom it is directed. Having envious people in your immediate environment is the most difficult test for any person.

Envy of girlfriends

It is believed that it female envy- This is the most difficult option. Usually it is aimed at personal happiness, prosperity, success, and what is most offensive, comes from the closest people.

Of course, it is very unpleasant to realize that your girlfriends feel envy towards you. In such situations, you have only a few options: either not share your joys with such people, or stop communicating with them, or reconcile.

As a rule, a person recognizes the signs of envy intuitively: this is a special, envious look, and a lack of joy about your successes, and gossip behind your back.

How to protect yourself from envy?

It is one thing when envy is expressed in words and simply leaves a negative aftertaste, and quite another when it hits health or well-being.

There are cases when a healthy man, receiving a promotion, suddenly begins to get very sick for no apparent reason. In such cases, it is customary to talk about black envy on the part of someone close. In this regard, the question arises of how to protect the family from envy.

The most common defense is to simply not talk about important event until it happens. Then the energy of envious people simply will not reach you.

Another folk way talking about is always wearing a pin in an inconspicuous place. Since ancient times, it has been believed that pins help both from the evil eye (which, in fact, is strong envy), and from.

In psychology, the problem of envy is solved differently. Psychologists say that if they look at you with an openly envious look, you should immediately mentally wish this person happiness, health, kindness, wealth, and so much so that you don’t have to envy anymore. It is believed that such a good wish blocks the evil eye and prevents it from harming you.

How to get rid of feelings of envy?

A completely different question is if you yourself experience envy. This feeling is very difficult to control, and in some cases only a good psychotherapist can help get rid of it.

If you notice that the successes of others do not please you, but only make you think about your own failures, this is an alarming symptom. First of all, try to pull yourself together. If you see that you are beginning to envy, immediately say to myself in my thoughts: “This person is doing well, which means that it will be the same for me. And he still has everything doubly - and happiness, and health, and love. It is the habit of sending positive wishes to others, instead of malicious thoughts like “this one has it, but I don’t!”, Will allow you to slowly but surely come to a normal state. Psychologists are sure that there is no more easy way how to overcome envy than this one.

And, in general, before you remove envy, you should think about its nature. If you envy others, it means that you are not satisfied with what you have. First of all, change in your life what you do not like - then you will have no reason to envy.