In fact, the advice on how to behave correctly when you are accused, but you are not to blame, is very simple. So, if you are accused of something that you did not do, first decide whether they are doing it with malicious intent, or if people really made a mistake. If the blame is not just wrong, then you need to keep in mind that it is convenient for someone to make you guilty. How to proceed in this case? First, you need to find out who is to blame for what happened. Only with indisputable evidence will you be able to confront the accusers. Most likely, by blaming someone who is not guilty, a person wants to defend himself or specifically blame someone. In fact, the severity of such an accusation is very different. This can be done by jealous rivals who want to take your loved one away from you, envious employees who are annoyed that the boss loves you more than others, or competitors who need you to go broke. But, in any case, people begin to behave this way, setting your moral or material destruction as the goal. How to protect yourself from them and behave correctly in such a situation?

Firstly, there should always be reliable people next to you who can support and protect you in any situation. But, you must be really sure that these people will never betray you and will not fight on two fronts. If they try to set you up and do it for more than one day, then one of your close friends could try, so to speak, “get into enemy territory” and find out why they want to set you up, and also get some evidence. But, even if it is impossible to do this, close people should always confirm your words, of course, if they are true. You should not lie with a whole crowd, because later, when everything is revealed, they will not believe not only you, but also your friends.

Often, only words can be used in an accusation. And here, it is very important to be able to respond correctly to words. First, do not shout and start accusing this person of slander. In fact, that's all he wants. If a person is driven to hysteria, he ceases to adequately think and argue his words. Therefore, when you are accused, you should not immediately get angry, call the person names and shout that you have been slandered. Instead, it is best to listen very carefully. In a lie there are always places "sewn with white thread." If you notice them in time, then you can justify yourself with dignity. Therefore, in no case do not interrupt your accuser. Listen to it until the end, and only then begin to draw any conclusions. If you know that he definitely cannot have any physical evidence to support your accusation, then you can very easily and simply prove that you are not guilty of anything. But, for this you need to stay very calm and cold. If you start to get angry, shy, lower your eyes and get nervous, people get the impression that you are doing this because you know about your guilt and now you are trying to somehow hide it, but nothing comes of it. Therefore, in no case do not allow yourself to be nervous. Even if you just want to strangle the offender with your bare hands, never dare to show it. If a person sees that he has led someone out of peace of mind He will definitely use it. Therefore, you must not allow such a thing.

Also, never make excuses. When a person begins to excitedly say that he is not like that and could not do anything like that, then his words are also not perceived as something real and truthful. In situations where you are purposefully accused, you need to use only arguments and hard facts. As mentioned earlier, try to identify the weak points in the accusation and refute them. You can do this in different ways: putting forward your version, asking questions, or in some other way. Simply, you need to look at the situation, and, in no case, do not give vent to emotions. Remember that the accuser expects any reaction from you, but not calmness and complete self-confidence and that you are right. Such behavior will definitely confuse him. If you also start to expose, the person is already completely lost and forgets about all the arguments that he had before. Therefore, always remember that the hardest thing to blame is a person who knows that he is right, is not afraid of the accuser and does not allow himself to lose his composure.

If you were not accused on purpose, then it is much easier to sort out the situation. In this case, people are much more inclined to listen to you and find the truth. But, in this case, it is not worth making excuses. Simply, you need to explain the situation, prove why exactly you could not do this and, if necessary, find evidence that will confirm your innocence in this or that case. Most likely, they will give you time to find a way to justify yourself and they will adequately assess the situation, and not look for an opportunity to confirm your guilt.

In fact, in the life of every person there are times when he is accused of what he did not do. You shouldn't take it to heart. All people tend to make mistakes and ill-wishers also have everyone. If no one hates you, you need to think about whether you live right. After all, only gray and uninteresting people do not cause emotions. Therefore, such stories and accusations should not be taken as a reason to honor yourself a bad person, but as proof that you can call enemies so powerful emotions, therefore, you truly live, and do not exist.

Everyone uses a lie - someone out of sports interest, someone for the sake of their salvation, someone for selfish purposes. Yes, and you yourself sometimes sin this too, don’t you? But how do you know if a person is lying?

Features of speech

Even if you are talking on the phone and do not see the eyes of your interlocutor, you may well understand when you are being told a lie. The speech of a liar has some peculiarities. Let's take a look at them.

It is possible to determine that a person is lying by “extra words”. This is especially noticeable if you know the interlocutor well and know that he does not suffer from such speech garbage. If, however, unusual “so to speak”, “well, for example”, etc. suddenly appeared in the speech, it is quite possible that they are lying to you. And the bottom line is that a liar can come up with something on the go and will try to mask the pauses with all sorts of “so to speak”.

Uncertainty

Too unnecessary words. This includes "somewhere", "somewhere" and so on. “I will do something for you” means that nothing will be done for you. This also includes expressions that indicate a person’s insecurity: I will try, I will try, I will make an effort, I will try to help you. Here introductory words: maybe, maybe...

You are assured of authenticity

Do not even doubt that if you are told "do not even doubt", you are definitely being lied to. This is true, because the liar projects onto you doubt in his sincerity.

Just not wanting to speak

It is your unwillingness to lie.

excuses

I just want to tell you ... after all ... only ... A person who has such words in his speech unconsciously (or consciously) feels guilty or embarrassed.

Ask him for details

And remember. Over time, the liar will definitely get confused in them and there will be inconsistencies in the story. If there are too many details and without questions, you can also suspect that you are being told false information.

Gesture hints

How to recognize a lie by the movements and plasticity of a person? Pretty simple. Here are some labels.

• Minimum gestures during speech. If a person tells the truth, there will be many gestures: this is how he splashes out his own emotions, trying to stir him up. If there are almost no gestures, or a person is standing like an idol, perhaps he is now lying. Gestures perfectly betray us.
• If the person is very mobile, make sure that the gestures match the words. For example, if a person agrees with everything, but shakes his head in the negative (a classic example!), the body is telling the truth.
• The liar may be hiding from you. No, not in the pantry, but at the computer, for example, or at the table. Again, even a person with a weak intellect understands that his body will definitely betray him.
• The power of touch. How to find out that a person is lying using a piece of paper? Look what he does with it. A liar will definitely turn a piece of paper, a curl, a pencil, a flash drive in his hands. However, this does not apply too much emotional people who always do this. And a lying person constantly touches his face. Particular attention should be paid to the lips. If a person constantly touches them, he is definitely lying. Also, the lips can be closed, or a person will bite them. However, if this is just a habit, do not pay attention.
• The man takes a break. For example, to drink coffee or smoke, coughs. During this time, he can come up with a continuation of his lies, if anything. This also does not apply to nervous and emotional people.
• A liar may hug himself during a conversation, or deviate. And also move back sharply. In addition, during a lie, gestures will be closed.
• The liar is very tense during the conversation. He may not blink when speaking.
• It becomes difficult for him to speak. Sometimes with a lie, the throat begins to dry up and the breath gets confused. It will be noticeable.
• Another alarm signal is when a person sharply tilts his head when direct question. It doesn't matter if it's back or to the side. Also, make sure the person is not poking their fingers at you or somewhere else. This may indicate that he was angry that he was caught in a lie.

Other tricks of liars

Pay attention to the person's communication style. Sometimes he will not give himself away with a single gesture, but will change his communication style. We pay attention to such changes too.

Insincere behavior

It is always noticeable. A person can try on a new role in order to hide his lie. A striking example is a girl admiring her friend's new hairstyle. In fact, the hair color or hairstyle may be terrible, but the girl may gloat over the failure of a competitor.

Liar includes "fool"

If you ask a person a question, and he pretends that he did not understand its essence, most likely you will fall behind: what to take from him. And the liar will breathe a sigh of relief. This will differ markedly from a real misunderstanding in hypertrophy and emotionality. From the same series, the inclusion of amnesia when you need to comment on any situation.

Aggression

If the interlocutor does not want to reveal the truth, then he can begin to accuse you, and of all sins at once, and translate the arrows. Crushed by guilt, you are unlikely to continue to search for the truth.

excuses

The liar will blame everyone except himself. He will blame for everything on you, on a neighbor, on a colleague.

Luscious affection and flattery

This method is used by many who want to cloud your mind and distract from the topic of conversation.

Religion cover-up

If a liar cannot justify himself in any way, he may begin to cry out to God and crucify himself on the topic that religion will not allow him to do so. This is also a lie.

Evasion

A liar can not only translate the topic of conversation or appeal to God, but also defiantly go to work or be distracted by important matters, so as not to speak to the point. Such a zero for the mass is obtained. This is also a way to lie.

All of the above are just very generalized behaviors of people who lie. You should not accuse of lying a person who is simply bad with nervous system. Just look into your eyes and much will become clear.

6 SIGNS OF AN EXTRA PERSON IN YOUR LIFE

Signs of an Extra Person in your life or how to save your life from the vampirism of others

My mother told me: “Remove unnecessary people from your life, they suck your energy…”. From her point of view, these were completely useless people for me, but I had an incredible “usefulness” for them, like a Duracell battery, charging their sluggish bodies and souls with my indestructible energy ... Then they didn’t talk or write about energy vampires, the Internet didn’t exist yet it was, and my mom intuitively pronounces everything that can be read today by typing “energy vampires is” in the search bar ...

As I already said, today a lot of interesting things have been written about these “energy-sucking” ones, but including frankly stupid ones. Silly texts about energy vampires talk about evil intent. He is not. Also, there is nothing mystical here. And we can be at the same time a donor, in relation to someone, and - the same vampire. It is good only when there is an equal exchange. This is harmony. It's bad when you frankly suck. Sometimes for years. Why bad? Let's not talk about the loss of energy and other dregs. We're wasting time, and that's the main thing.

So, the signs that distinguish the Superfluous Man:

10 signs that will help you understand that this is not your man

A man who is not needed by a woman is similar to a suitcase that does not have a handle: it seems hard to carry, and it’s a pity to throw it away! The longer you try to establish a relationship with a man, the more you value these relationships as a result.

However, no matter what, there is a moment when you do not know what to do next, and how to accept and understand that the relationship is inexorably moving towards its end.

10 signs that will help you understand that this is not the man you need:

Your life goals, and his life goals are fundamentally different. You are all dreaming of a family and children, and he only thinks about drinking and clubs.

You simply do not have love for him, and here none of his qualities and actions are any more important.

He does not love you, his eyes do not burn at a meeting, he does not write you SMS and treat you with disdain.

You feel like his mother, who must solve all his problems. At the same time, he does not show any return - neither material nor moral.

He very often tries to sneak out to a party with friends, without you. As soon as he understands that you want to be with him alone, he begins to accuse you of not giving him any personal space.

He's mean, doesn't spend money on you, never pays for you. Of course, if you are able to do it yourself, there is no problem, but over time, anyone will get tired of paying for an apartment on their own, buying groceries. At the same time, he can safely accept money from you.

He cannot find common language with your family or friends, and not with one, and moreover, he simply simply does not approve of your social circle and tries to isolate you further from them.

Do you smile more often or get upset? Without hesitation, continue the phrase: "My relationship is ...". If the first thing that came to your mind was “torture”, “horror” or something else like that, then you yourself will understand that the relationship has come to its logical end.

He neglects your desires and needs for sex. For example, you tell him what kind of caresses give you pleasure, but he ignores, or vice versa, makes you do what you don’t want - this is also a very big sign.

You are bored in his company, you have no common interests and passions, you have nothing to talk about. Well, what are you going to do together and continue to be silent?

No matter how difficult and painful it is to throw such baggage, it must be done so as not to ruin your life completely! The end of a relationship is not the end of life!

Here are the main signs of an extra person in your life:

1. He always calls you himself

You have a friend (girlfriend) with whom (whom) the conversation begins with the phrase: “I just wanted (wanted) to call you, and you call!” There is? Be sure that you have an equal exchange with this person, this is your full life partner. This is not an extra person. The Excess Person calls himself and you almost never call him. It is surprising that, as a rule, the person “sucking” you always calls at the wrong time. You either have soapy hands, or you are watching a movie or parking ... In a word, you are doing some kind of business, and then - a call. As a result, you have a waste of time.

2. He always keeps himself waiting

Or almost always. Often he makes himself wait even in a telephone conversation. “Oh, now wait, I have a second line here .. I’ll call you back ...” And you look longingly at the phone and understand that they will call you back, but you don’t feel like it at all ...

He makes himself wait when he comes to you. He is amazingly unpunctual towards you. Even upon arrival, the Extra Person finds some business, if he is at your place, it can be an urgent and for some reason obligatory trip to the shower ... Or a long telephone conversation with someone at work or for some other reason ... And you look longingly at the clock and with your whole being you begin to feel the loss of time. Yes! As a result, you have a waste of time.

3. He's always in trouble

The most frequent problems of the Extra Man, if it is a woman, are health problems. And it doesn't matter what gender you are. Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are a psychological donor, you will be aware of the health problems of the Extra Person. And they are monstrous, almost fatal ... (according to him) All your attempts to advise just solve the problem - go to good doctor, will be nipped in the bud. No, they will listen to you, and you even, God forbid, organize a consultation with a good and very cool specialist, but this will not end with anything. As a result - the loss of your time and - a cool specialist.

The Extra Man, of course, has problems at work. All this is retold to you for months and years. And everyone is to blame - from a stupid boss to forwarders. All your attempts to console the unfortunate (unfortunate) and encourage him (her) to enjoy a good salary and other excellent conditions are also nipped in the bud. The Extra Man must suffer before your very eyes. He (she) does it wonderfully. And you end up wasting time.

4. He is very difficult to ask for something.

Sometimes it happens that the Superfluous Person needs to be asked for something. On the face of it, the request looks trifling. And you are surprised to understand that it is extremely difficult for you to do this. For some reason. Later, when a request or requests are voiced, you feel some kind of stupor that occurs in your counterpart, and you immediately understand your unwillingness to ask. He, the Superfluous Man, does not seem to want to help. He's going for it, he'll do it for you, but he's so busy. He has such problems ... And you lose the desire to ask him for something ... You do it yourself, and as a result - a waste of time.

5. He always needs you

An extra person entangles you with his "love". He constantly lets you know how much he needs you. He lives under your care and sometimes cannot do even the most seemingly simple actions without you. Sometimes it makes you surprised, sometimes angry. The Extra Man makes the face of the Cat from Shrek and says: “Well, please ...”. He is always asking for something. And you gradually get used to the idea that he can’t do anything without you. But when he, in the event of a serious problem, instantly mobilizes and does everything efficiently and as quickly as possible, you are amazed at such agility and again understand that you are wasting time ...

6. He is a stunningly uninteresting person

And finally, the most main feature Extra person in your life. He's amazingly uninteresting. In any case, you. He is a bad storyteller, he is not enchanting, he is not connected with you by any hobbies, in fact, he has no hobbies. This is an incredibly boring creature, really sluggish and tedious. In other words, you are not interested in him at all.

As a rule, the presence of an Extra Person in your everyday life is explained by connections that are little dependent on you today. This is either a neighbor who is difficult to get rid of, or a relative, or a so-called childhood friend with whom for some reason you are forced to contact. Sometimes these are employees at work and even husbands and wives. Yes! They, too, can be their partners' vampires, and they take time too.

Summary

If you find that an Extra Person is constantly spinning next to you and this is not an annoying girlfriend, “brought” from a Turkish voyage, with whom you can just gradually stop communicating, but a more serious connection; try applying the following.

Start appreciating and EVALUATE your time spent with this person. This applies to telephone conversations, and personal communication, and even correspondence. And finally, start telling the truth.

“Yes, dear (darling)! I remember that you wanted (wanted) to come, but I have such a difficult project now, I give it all my time. The answer will most likely be - "Well, please, I'll just for a second ..". If you give up, then you will again sign the verdict of your time, which will again be devoured by this Longolier. A categorical "no" will save your imaginary project and real time. I don't think you're lying at this point. The people that the Extras cling to are, for the most part, always busy with something ... And projects too.

Phone call? “Oh, I'm sorry, I can't talk, come on later”… That would be a lie. And we agreed to tell the Extra Man the truth. And the truth will be that you ask: “Do you have something urgent? I don't have much time right now. » It is unlikely that the Extra Man will inform you that he just witnessed the landing of aliens ... He will have to accept that there is nothing urgent in his call.

Do not give offense to your time, this is the only thing that money cannot buy later.

And I also want to add the most important thing: THAT person leads you to your happiness, and NOT THAT person increases the distance to your happiness! THAT person is a conductor!

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One of Chekhov's friends recalls the following incident:
- Once we were talking about "Steppe". For some reason, I remembered at the very beginning the phrase on which I stumbled when reading the story for the first time: “She was alive until she died ...” Something like that.

It can not be! Chekhov exclaimed, and immediately took a book from the shelf and found a place: “Before her death, she was alive and carried soft bagels from the market,” Chekhov laughed. - Really, how did I not see it that way. And by the way, the current public does not eat such fruit yet. Come on!
This phrase remained in the story.

website collected timeless statements of the writer, whose natural wit, paradoxical thinking and conciseness still remain unsurpassed.

1. It's not about pessimism or optimism, but about the fact that ninety-nine out of a hundred have no mind.
2. If a person does not smoke and does not drink, you involuntarily wonder if he is a bastard?
3. Going to Paris with your wife is like going to Tula with your own samovar.
4. There are people who always say only smart and good words, but you feel that they are stupid people.
5. If your wife cheated on you, then rejoice that she cheated on you, and not on the fatherland.
6. The university develops all abilities, including stupidity.
7. They say that in the end the truth will prevail, but it's not true.
8. Only ordinary, herd people are healthy and normal.
9. In order to feel happiness in yourself without interruption, even in moments of sorrow and sadness, you need to: a) be able to be content with the present and b) rejoice in the consciousness that it could be worse.
10. When a splinter gets into your finger, rejoice: “It’s good that it’s not in the eye!”
11. Have a very good man such a physiognomy that he is mistaken for a detective; think he stole the cufflinks.
12. Wonderful day today. Either go drink tea, or hang yourself.

1. Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand everything.
2. He who is alien to life, who is incapable of it, has no choice but to become an official.
3. One pain always relieves another. Step on the tail of a cat that has a toothache and it will feel better.
4. You cannot put a loaded gun on the stage if no one intends to fire it.
5. Hundreds of miles of deserted, monotonous, burnt-out steppe cannot overtake such despondency as one person, when he sits, talks and it is not known when he will leave.
6. If you want to have little time, do nothing.
7. You need to squeeze the slave out of yourself drop by drop.
8. Nobody wants to love the ordinary person in us.
9. If a lot of remedies are offered against any disease, it means that the disease is incurable.
10. Don't let people go crazy.

Chekhov with his wife Olga Knipper.

1. “Cynic” is a Greek word, translated into your language meaning: a pig who wants the whole world to know that she is a pig.
2. These wise men are all so stupid that there is no one to talk to.
3. If all people agreed and suddenly became sincere, then everything would go to hell with them.
4. A talented person in Russia cannot be clean.
5. If your act upsets someone, then this does not mean that he is bad.
6. Becoming a writer is very easy. There is no freak who would not find a mate, and there is no nonsense that would not find a suitable reader.
7. It is impossible to demand from dirt that it is not dirt.
8. "Know thyself" - beautiful and useful advice; it is only a pity that the ancients did not guess to indicate the way how to use this advice.
9. Leaving people is suicide.
10. There is nothing good on earth that does not have muck in its original source.
11. ...behind the post office, the reputation of an institution that is scary to visit has long been established.
12. I respond to pain with screams and tears, to meanness with indignation, and to abomination with disgust. In my opinion, this is what is called life.
13. Life, in fact, is a very simple thing and a person needs to make a lot of effort to spoil it.

Many girls dream of meeting a worthy life partner with whom they can build a strong and happy relationship. At the first stages of a relationship, many look at the world through rose-colored glasses, which makes it impossible to objectively look at the person who is nearby. In such a situation, information on how to understand that this is your person will be useful. Psychologists say that if you look at the situation soberly and evaluate your partner, you can draw the appropriate conclusions.

How to understand if this is your person?

In order to at least a little understand the situation and understand whether there is a future for you, you should listen to your feelings. A good sign will be the feeling that you have known the person for many years. There is an inexplicable mutual understanding, sometimes partners understand each other's thoughts without words. If lovers, being close, feel comfortable and protected, then we can say that they are two halves of one whole.

In psychology there is one important advice about how to understand that this is your person - be silent next to each other. It is believed that if people are well together, then no words are needed. Silence should be natural and not cause discomfort.

Signs on how to understand that a person is your destiny:

1. According to statistics, people who manage to meet their soul mate feel tremors on their first dates, they take their breath away from being touched, etc.
2. Equally important is the presence of common interests and aspirations, since this can unite people for a long time.
3. Another tip on how to understand that a person is your soul mate is to ask yourself the question of whether you trust the chosen one and whether there is a similar attitude on his part. Without this, it is simply impossible to build a strong and happy union.
4. People who are halves of one whole always have something to talk about and they are never bored together. In such couples, even opposing opinions will not be the basis for a grandiose scandal.
5. Similar is a good sign, that is, it is important that the partners laugh at the same jokes and do not want to tease each other.
6. Lovers should be in the first place with each other, this is important for a harmonious relationship with a minimum number of conflicts.
7. With a man destined by fate, you do not need to play any roles and you can be yourself. If partners perceive each other with all the advantages and disadvantages, this is a good sign.