In every person's life, it has happened at least once to listen to insults. Whether intentionally or through negligence, dignity and honor have been desecrated! Insult carries with it a surge of negative emotions caused by various factors. Knowing these reasons, you can competently respond to an insult or react correctly to it. People are characterized by various manifestations of certain emotions, but it is not always possible to restrain such manifestations. And then, in a rough form, a negative assessment of the personality is given. But if you know how to correctly respond to insults, then the offender himself will be the victim.
Why do people resort to insults?
Before reacting to insults and starting to respond to them, you need to determine what caused the aggression.
- Self-affirmation. By insulting an opponent, a person thereby wants to elevate himself. Aggression is a sign of internal fears, worries, complexes and self-doubt. Therefore, wanting to increase self-esteem, a person resorts to various kinds of insults. You should show pity to such a person and make it clear that he will not establish himself at your expense.
- An outburst of emotions. Sometimes too much negativity accumulates in a person. And falling under the hot hand is an opportunity to hear a lot of new things about yourself. In this case, the person will later apologize himself; he just needs help to calm down.
- Playing for the public. Such people receive a huge energy charge from scandals in public. The main thing here is to let the person understand that you are not the hero of his action-packed comedy. To remain indifferent in this case means to remain a winner.
- Upbringing. More precisely, its absence. The causes of aggressive behavior go back to early childhood, characterized by permissiveness and indulgence. An ill-mannered person only has a disgusted attitude.
- Bad day or Monday syndrome. There are Mondays in every person's life, and not necessarily on the first day of the week. A difficult day is accompanied by emotional disorders, which provokes the release of the negativity accumulated during the day. The best option is to say that you understand what caused the aggression, and ask the person not to take negativity out on you.
- Rivalry. It gives rise to the most powerful insults that discredit honor and dignity. Such insults cannot be ignored; it is necessary to give the person a worthy rebuff.
The reaction to an insult also depends on who the offender is.
- Husband/wife, relative. If these are people from your inner circle, then you need to try as much as possible to maintain warm relations between you. Family quarrels are temporary and are accompanied by accumulated claims and are resolved at a round table.
- Friend. If a friend did this, then you should definitely find out the reason that prompted him to insult. As soon as the details emerge, you will have to decide: to forgive or is it better to refuse such a friend?!
- Boss. Most office workers hear insults from their bosses. This is either a form of communication or personal hostility. In any case, the first one will be recognized on its own, but the second one needs to be found out. But you should never react violently to your boss’s aggression. You can imagine him in funny and absurd situations or just use a smile, this will give him confidence. The boss will see your resilience and recognize your psychological advantage.
- Strangers. Here is a great opportunity to show calmness, education and intelligence.
How to competently respond to an insult in various situations?
- Have you encountered a “troll”? The best weapon against him is ignoring. For trolls, aggressive attack is a way of life. Therefore, in order to prevent them from causing discord in society, it is enough to simply ignore them or direct all the power of the intellect at them. For example, you can answer that you would say a lot, but you are worried that it is unlikely that his limited mind will realize and accept this information.
- Unfounded criticism of your work. Thank the person for their opinion and tell them that it means others will definitely like it.
- Criticism of appearance. Remarks about appearance can seriously damage self-esteem if you take them to heart. To the attack: “What bruises under your eyes! Just terrible!”, You can answer that this is a consequence of a stormy night, adding a satisfied smile.
- Notes on clothing. Such jabs often concern the financial situation of your family or you personally and can be very offensive. To the statement: “You only dress in cheap stores!”, you can answer that any thing looks beautiful and advantageous on your figure.
Instructions
Defense is a normal human reaction. You were insulted, which means you were subjected to a psychological attack. Moreover, the closer the offender is, the more painful the blow. Why is this happening? Because a person who knows all your ins and outs is well aware of your weakest points:
- you are unhappy with your figure and he knows about it; in a fit of anger, he declares something like “watch your weight”, it is clear that in a rude manner;
Or you like to stay at home, run the house, wash floors, fry pies and, accordingly, you get “homemade chicken”. In the worst case scenario, “a domestic chicken that needs to watch its weight.”
From this we can conclude that you shouldn’t let anyone get too close to you - it won’t hurt. But this is a wrong conclusion. Rather, you need to think about what the person really wanted to tell you and why you reacted that way. Once you understand what is behind the insults, you will learn to respond to them.
If they called you names, then first of all they wanted to draw your attention to some problem. Like, hey you, hear me! Perhaps you are not attentive enough - is your abuser having problems at work, a midlife crisis, or a stomach ache? Your answer: find out as accurately as possible what happened.
If an insult touched you to the core, then you believe that the offender told the truth or was close to the truth. Returning to the “chicken” example: you yourself feel fat, unkempt and not interesting to anyone. What to do? Change!
If you react violently to harmless words or are generally inclined to “free interpretation,” then you lack love and tenderness. Now you are attracting attention to yourself with inappropriate behavior and get, if not participation, then at least a scandal, which is still better than nothing. The solution is to build a new relationship with this person, and if that doesn’t work out, break up. You can't build a happy life on insults.
Conclusion: name calling is just a consequence. Look for the reason and work with it. If the words you hear seem offensive only to you, most likely there is a crisis in your relationship. And remember, it’s nothing personal – everyone is just solving their own problems!
Sources:
- you are being insulted reply
There are times in life when someone makes some unacceptable request or proposal. The whole difficulty is that it is not always convenient to answer with a sharp refusal. After all, even if you don’t agree with your interlocutor, you don’t want to inadvertently offend good man. What if you still need to answer?
Instructions
Consider the simplest and perhaps most correct option first: answer honestly, the way you think. If you are sure that a person’s proposal does not suit you, your prevarications and tricks will only prolong the matter and may give him unnecessary illusions and some unrealistic dreams or expectations. And sooner or later, the truth will still come out, and then your interlocutor will definitely be offended and will wonder why you didn’t explain everything right away and directly.
Even if you tell a truth that is not entirely pleasant for a person, he will understand and will not be offended if you speak softly and calmly, politely and with respect. Speak sincerely and with an open mind. Don't forget to thank us for the honor and attention shown to you. Find some words that don't sound like a categorical refusal. Perhaps after some time you will reconsider your decision. Tell me that you will think more about this proposal.
When refusing, try to find the most compelling arguments. If you are very convincing, then emotions will fade into the background, giving way to reason and rationality. State the reason why you are refusing. It may not be entirely truthful, but it is easy and understandable to understand.
Try to answer using hints if for some reason you cannot refuse directly. Clever man will analyze the information, understand everything and will not be offended.
Refuse your interlocutor, framing your refusal as a compliment. Praise him for some good qualities or for the proposal itself. For example, “you are such a smart and sensitive person that you understand better than anyone else...”, “you have a wonderful idea, but...”, “I know that I can rely on you, so...”, etc. But keep in mind that your compliments must be sincere, otherwise your partner will immediately feel false. Believe in what you say.
Try to refuse an offer or request, citing external circumstances beyond your control, as well as being busy, ill, waiting for something important event etc. In any case, you will have the opportunity to postpone the resolution of this issue for a fairly long period.
Avoid a conversation that is unpleasant for you by changing the subject. Switch your interlocutor's attention to something else that is no less important and interesting to him. However, keep in mind that the transition to another topic should not be very abrupt and noticeable. There should be no hesitation or long pause.
Another option for refusing is to turn the conversation into a joke. This is not about ridiculing or insulting the interlocutor, but simply about using a sense of humor. Your joke must be appropriate and kind, and then you will achieve the desired effect.
Sources:
- how to answer a person so that he
You can encounter rudeness in a public place, at work, and even at home. You shouldn’t put up with her, but you also don’t need to become like a rude person. You may find some advice useful on how to respond to rudeness without getting caught in the boor's provocation.
Don't be like a boor
First of all, it is worth understanding that you cannot always silently accept rudeness. If you systematically forgive a certain person for such behavior, the situation can become completely deplorable. Feeling his own impunity, the boor will go further and further beyond the boundaries of normal behavior.
Therefore, give up the idea that if you don’t pay attention to the rude person, he will leave you behind very quickly. This position can only be successful with a stranger. But if you see an individual quite often, stop him and his tactlessness.
Depending on the situation, your response to rudeness may be ironic. In this case, you will need a quick reaction and the ability to instantly respond to your opponent’s remarks with reason.
Resist the temptation to become aggressive and respond to rudeness with it. You will almost certainly be tormented by feelings of guilt and remorse later. Perhaps this is exactly what your interlocutor is trying to achieve. Don't follow his lead.
Be confident and control your own emotions. You can throw out the negativity later, for example, by giving your body a release in gym or training on a punching bag. Vigorous movements that are not aimed at causing any harm to people help to significantly reduce stress levels.
Ways to respond to rudeness
To defeat a rude person, try to better understand the motives behind his obscene behavior. Most likely, behind the rudeness lies a lack of confidence in own position and a complete lack of real arguments. Once you understand this, you will realize that you are in a better position than the brute.
When your boss is rude to you, you, of course, have the right to respond to such treatment at your own discretion. But consider whether a polite answer would be better for your career. Don't forget the simple truth that meekness controls anger. Use this strategy when talking to your manager.
Another way to respond to rudeness is to directly tell the rude person about your feelings that his behavior causes. There are people for whom rudeness becomes the norm. Aggression spills out of them constantly. Such individuals do not hesitate to raise their voices and say unpleasant things to others. But sometimes these people don’t even realize how terrible they look from the outside. Perhaps it’s time for them to hear about the impression their intemperance is making.
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Some people are so intrusive and unpleasant in communication that you lose all desire to meet and talk with them. You can get rid of the annoyance different ways.
Instructions
Ignore an individual who is extremely unlikable to you. Don't meet him, don't answer his calls or messages. Pretend that the person does not exist for you. Sooner or later, the individual must understand that they do not want to communicate with him, and stop bothering you. If this does not happen, it means that you have come across a particularly stubborn person or person who does not understand such transparent hints. In such situations, you can try another method.
Severely limit communication with an unpleasant person. When you meet him, pretend that you are in a hurry. Constantly refer to urgent matters. Answer in monosyllables, only “yes” or “no”, do not ask any questions yourself. Gradually, your dialogue will turn into a monologue, and the person simply will not be able to support it. The topic for conversation will dry up, and perhaps the individual will understand that you are not interested in him. Don't make eye contact with the person. Look to the side, at your feet. Talk to him on the phone. Demonstrate your disdain and busyness in every possible way. Of course, such treatment may offend the individual, but he will leave you behind once and for all.
If an individual who is annoying you has a strong sympathy for you, it will not be so easy to get rid of him. When you know what it is about you that attracts him, you can change a certain character trait or appearance, as well as adjust his behavior. Seeing dramatic changes in you, your annoying admirer may lose interest in you, leave you alone and find a new object for his obsessive courtship. Be very careful with such people. They are ready to take any manifestation of a simple good human attitude as encouragement for their actions, and then they become even more persistent. Therefore, it is important to be a cold and emphatically indifferent person with them.
It happens that you are annoyed by a person whom you cannot so easily brush aside. For example, you are forced to communicate with him due to duty, or you are connected by family ties. In this case, ignoring them will look quite strange, and you shouldn’t be rude at all. You are left with two options: either endure in silence and try to be distracted by more pleasant thoughts when you have to communicate with this individual, or talk to him. Call the person for a frank conversation and calmly explain what exactly in his behavior is unacceptable. Maybe you will be able to influence the individual and establish a relationship with him. It all depends on how diplomatic you are.
Irritation, fatigue, unwillingness to live or aggression accompany people today. These conditions arise due to overexertion, the difficult economic situation in the country and the instability of personal relationships. But you can cope with such emotions and find the strength to live on.
Instructions
To cheer yourself up or relieve irritation, you can do several exercises. They can be performed at any time, do not require the need to go out somewhere and do not attract attention to themselves. Even at a meeting, you can cope with the stress that has piled up. You need to take 10 breaths and exhalations as strong as possible. At the same time, focus only on this process, for a few seconds stop thinking about the source of negative emotions.
To regain the ability to think consistently, slowly count to 10. This method is used before you start speaking, so as not to immediately fall into accusations, speak to the point. This pause will help you concentrate and not say too much. Smooth breathing and confidence after the procedure will help you be more convincing.
Good method stop worrying - switching attention. Remember something pleasant, immerse yourself in childhood memories or pictures of your vacation. Review moments in your head that made you very happy and invigorated, this will improve your overall well-being. You can also look out the window, this is also a way to distract yourself, especially good if the sun is shining outside. Smile at him, it will immediately help him relax.
To relieve the condition completely, you need a good rest. Take a vacation or a few days off and change your surroundings. You need not just to get enough sleep and get distracted, but to plunge into new experiences. If possible, buy a ticket to the sea or to the mountains; if you can’t leave, spend a couple of days in nature or in the country. Do things you haven’t done before; changing activities brings back your zest for life.
Play sports. If you have apathy, it is better to choose something active, such as boxing. You will be able to take out your frustration on your opponent or your trainers. Water aerobics and a gym are also suitable. Stiffness and tension in the muscles will begin to disappear after a week of training, and the general condition of the body will improve. And regular exercise will help you take your mind off what prevents you from being happy.
Laughter helps relieve depression. Call your friends, invite them to a comedy. Find a way to laugh. Today you can visit a trampoline, this is entertainment for any age, where people simply learn to jump as high as possible. It's a lot of fun if you participate with friends. Usually such things are installed in fitness clubs. Take classes like these to find strength for the rest of your life.
Gossip and rumors in Lately have become the rule rather than the exception. People love to discuss others, and they embellish the facts that they know several times. However, you don't have to put up with this. You may well prove that you are not at all the person they think you are.
Instructions
To refute all the rumors that are circulating about you, you must try to create an impeccable reputation for yourself. People who meet you or communicate with you for a long time should see what kind of character you have. Be a decent and sympathetic person, always ready to help others. Do good deeds for free and never judge other people. Remember, if someone has done evil, it will definitely come back to him in life. Your conscience must be clear. Honesty and openness are also important criteria. Any lie you make can turn against you. Always admit your mistakes and do not hide any truth. If people around you see you as sincere and kind person, they will never believe gossip. They will immediately understand. even if you did not do a very good thing, you would not look for excuses for yourself, but would honestly admit it.
If it happens that your relatives and friends still believe the rumors, try to find out who exactly became the distributor of false information. and talk to him. Surely there will be some explanation for this human behavior. Maybe some of your actions have provoked empty speculation about you. Explain to the person who slandered you that he is deeply mistaken, considering your behavior unworthy, tell him about the true reasons for what you did. Having realized his mistake, a person with a conscience will most likely apologize to you and tell others that he was wrong.
If a person flatly refuses that he has mistakenly become a distributor of false information, there is no need to go out in public and try to find an excuse for himself. They are unlikely to believe you. Choose a friend who does not know how to keep secrets, have a heart-to-heart conversation with him and, with regret and resentment, tell him about how you were unreasonably slandered. Don't hide your emotions. Most likely, your sociable interlocutor will soon tell everyone that you have become a victim of someone else’s slander.
Another way to establish justice is an open conversation with the offender and the people who believed him. Talk together, you don't have to deny everything. It’s better to let the gossip tell everyone in front of you why he said certain things about you. His arguments must be justified. If he can't provide some evidence of his gossip, everyone will understand that he was just spreading rumors.
Human nature is such that he simply needs to communicate with other people, share emotions and impressions with them, talk about events and interesting people. But what to do if you are the target of discussion?
Instructions
Any discussions can be either positive or negative. People often talk about their friends' successes, but they are even more likely to talk bad about them or share rumors. Of course, any opinion of people, especially expressed behind your back, can be unpleasant. After all, it is usually very far from the truth that actually exists and from the opinion of the person being discussed. However, every behavior has its reasons and you will need to find out if you want to stop discussions about your personality.
When conversations about you and such discussions are unpleasant to you, the surest remedy is to directly tell the person about it and find out the reason for such conversations. Perhaps other people are for some reason unhappy with your behavior or attitude. Maybe you offended them in some way, but they don’t dare tell you about it. So they found a unique way of revenge. There can be a lot of reasons for this, the main thing here is to find out them and talk to people frankly. Behave calmly, kindly, and don’t try to put yourself in the best light. You need to listen to the person’s opinion and find a calm answer for him that would lead to a solution to the problem.
And then you can act according to the circumstances. You will probably be surprised at the reason for the dissatisfaction, but still apologize to the offended person and explain your behavior. In most cases, this should lead to reconciliation, especially if you sincerely desire it. You may even have to explain your reasons in front of a group of people, but you need to find the strength to do this in order to improve the relationship.
But even if reconciliation does not happen, or a person simply enjoys discussing you behind your back, saying nasty things, if his resentment towards you does not go away, you will know that on your part you did everything possible. Let the person’s behavior be on his conscience, you don’t have to worry about guessing, you can simply stop communicating with this subject. This good way and in the case when discussions of your personality are conducted to spite you. Do not pay attention to them, neither such people nor their evil thoughts are worth your dignity and peace of mind.
But what you can’t do in this situation is to adopt the behavior model of such people and start discussing them. There is no meaning or dignity in such actions, and you will quickly turn into those whose behavior was condemned so recently. In the end, is it really worth wasting energy and nerves on those who use such low methods, much less becoming like them?
However, not only your negative aspects and failures can be discussed, but also your successes. And although some people are uncomfortable with even this kind of attention, there is no need to reproach those who praise you. Thank them and convince them to try less hard. Also, be happy for yourself and start to be at least a little proud.
Video on the topic
There is an opinion that people gossip only about those people who give rise to it, but unfortunately this is not always the case. One encounters discussion everywhere: in kindergarten, school, college, at work, and even in the yard of your own home! There will always be people who judge someone for a non-standard outfit, behavior different from their ideas, and even their chosen lifestyle. If you want to get rid of the discussion, just stop communicating with those people who do it. Do not share your plans for life with gossipers, thereby denying them fuel for conversation.
Of course, being in constant dynamics, it is difficult not to be in the field of view. They often discuss those who, contrary to generally accepted norms, build their lives without regard to anyone’s opinion. Possessing willpower, people are not afraid of condemnation from the outside, and sometimes even provoke it, positioning themselves as an independent person. However, many people do not like outside discussion and try to prevent it. The surest way to avoid exposing yourself to gossip is to stop standing out from the crowd. By mixing with other people, you will create the appearance of similarity, and less attention will be paid to you. This applies to everything: family life, career and friendship.
But how to behave when you are being discussed for the purpose of provocation? In this way, a person either wants to attract attention to himself or to annoy you. In the first case, you simply don’t need to give in. Do not fall for the tricks of a person who is not indifferent to you if he achieves your favor in such a dubious way. The second case is the most dangerous. By starting an ignoble rumor about you, a gossip can undermine the trust of colleagues, relatives, and even a loved one in you. In this case, you need to have a serious conversation with someone who likes to wash bones. But be careful, because in an emotional outburst you can say nasty things to the offender, which will become another reason for discussion.
Discussion is not necessarily done for a specific purpose. There are people who are used to doing this because of their character traits. If people judge you behind your back, don't take it personally. Look from whose lips the blasphemy came. Does one person have the right to judge another? No. Therefore, if you are comfortable in the lifestyle in which you live, simply do not pay attention to gossipers. There will always be people who share your position.
Signs of a hysterical personality
In order to correctly develop a strategy for communicating with a hysterical person, you first need to correctly identify her. Pay attention to the behavior of your colleagues. If one of them is extremely emotional and likes to dramatize the situation, you should be careful with such a person. Various exaggerations when talking about something can indicate not only a person’s wild imagination, but also his tendency to hysterics.
If one of the employees in your company often behaves provocatively, constantly runs into scandals, likes to sort things out and clings to the slightest excuse to inflate the situation to its maximum limit, be on your guard. This behavior, unwillingness to control one’s own negative emotions, the desire to throw out negative feelings on others also indicate the hysterical tendencies of the individual.
The constant readiness to burst into tears when encountering the slightest obstacle or simply a non-standard situation, endless complaints about a large amount of work, high workload without objective reasons should alert you. Hysterical people tend to feel sorry for themselves and cry to others about their life circumstances.
Hysterics are characterized by some tactlessness, unceremoniousness, and sometimes even rudeness. They do not consider people's feelings and can, without thinking, offend a person with a harsh statement. The appearance of such people is often quite striking; they dress in a particularly elegant manner, and they coyly and grimace when speaking.
Rules for interacting with a hysterical person
You need to behave in a certain way with hysterics. To avoid being affected by the negativity they emit, it is better not to take this person seriously. Try using a condescending attitude towards your colleague. Otherwise, you will face many unpleasant moments.
It is useless to argue with such a person. Logical arguments may not help you bring a hysterical person to his senses. Do not succumb to the hysterical provocations. She will probably try to persuade you to start a scandal. Try to remain calm. Quarrel is the native element of your unbalanced colleague. If you cross into her territory, the hysterical woman will crush you.
Perhaps the following fact will reassure and encourage you a little: hysterics are easily triggered, but quickly go away. If you don’t add fuel to the fire, peace and grace will soon come to your team. Your indignation and reluctance to follow the lead of an unbalanced colleague, as well as the desire to put her in her place are quite understandable. But here it’s up to you to choose: how much you value your own peace and peace in the team. Sometimes you have to endure the antics of such a person.
If the hysteric is your subordinate, you need to develop a strategy for effectively interacting with her. In this case, simply avoiding communication will not work. When analyzing the mistakes of such a person, do not get personal. Do not discuss the employee’s character traits, talk only about actions and deeds. Don't forget to praise him for the results achieved. Try to show less emotion.
Ecology of life. Psychology: When defending yourself against insults, it is easy to find yourself in a vicious circle of blows and counter-blows. However, there are ways...
Hurtful words await us every day - often when we are least prepared for it:
- on the road during rush hours, when people show worst qualities;
- in queues, when we run out of patience;
- at work and at the holiday table, where people consider rudeness almost permissible.
Critical attacks are so varied that they defy classification. There are “light”, everyday injections (“well, finally!”), and those when the eyes darken from resentment (“I see you’re busy doing what you do best - you’re eating again”).
Sometimes words simply reveal insensitivity. Having gathered his courage, the son told his mother that his wife had left him, and in response he heard: “It took her a long time to get ready.”
It is believed that in the family we can hide from the world. But in fact, relatives say things to each other that they would never say to a stranger, often adding in justification: “You know, I’m saying this because I love you.”
One woman recalls how one day, when she was 12 years old, she was standing in front of a mirror and her mother suddenly said: “Don’t worry, honey. If the nose still grows, it will be possible to have surgery.” Until that day, it had never occurred to the girl that her nose was not perfect.
Especially “good” are veiled insults that are called “constructive criticism”, although they have nothing to do with it. They are easily recognized by accompanying phrases such as “I hope I can speak frankly with you” or “I am telling you this for your own benefit.” It turns out that you should almost admire the sincerity of the critic and appreciate his concern, while you are having difficulty recovering from the blow.
When defending yourself against insults, it is easy to find yourself in a vicious circle of blows and counter-blows. Fortunately, there are ways to fend off an attacker without losing your dignity.
The next time you find yourself the target of criticism, try these tips.
1. Try to understand
Those who criticize others are often filled with resentment themselves. If you can't figure out what's really bothering the person who insulted you, ask him about it. Remember: offense is not always intended for you personally. Look at the situation from the outside and look for the reason.
The waitress is rude to you not because she didn’t like you in any way - it’s just that her loved one left her the day before. The driver, cutting you off, does not want to annoy you - he is in a hurry to see a sick child. Let him go ahead, support him.
By trying to understand those whose words hurt you, you will be able to bear the insult more easily.
2. Analyze what was said
In her book The Subtle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, Suzette Hayden Elgin suggests break down the remark that offended you into parts and respond to the unspoken reproach without playing the victim. For example, having heard “if you loved me, you would lose weight,” you can answer like this: “And how long ago did you decide that I don’t love you?”
3. Turn to face the offender
Dealing with insults is not easy. Directness, in particular, helps. Remove the negative charge, for example, with this question: “For some reason, do you need to offend me?” or “Do you understand how words like that might be perceived?”
You can also ask the person to clarify the meaning of the comment: “What do you mean?” or “I want to check if I understood you correctly?” Once your critic feels that his game has been figured out, he will leave you alone. After all, when you are caught red-handed, it is very shameful.
4. Use humor
A friend of mine once had to hear: “Is this your new skirt? I think they use this fabric to upholster chairs.” She was not taken aback and replied: “Well, sit on my lap.”
My friend’s mother spent her entire life zealously keeping the house clean. One day she discovered a spider’s web on her daughter and asked: “What is this?” “I’m conducting a science experiment,” the daughter retorted. The best weapon against offensive criticism is laughter. A witty response will help you deal with almost any offender.
5. Come up with a symbol
One woman told me that her husband always criticized her in public. Then she began to carry a small towel with her and whenever her husband said something offensive to her, she covered her head with the towel. He was so ashamed that he got rid of his bad habit.
6. Don't mind
Agree with everything. If your wife says: “It seems to me that you have gained ten kilograms, dear,” answer: “Twelve, to be exact.” If she doesn’t back down: “Well, what are you going to do with the extra weight?” - try this: “Nothing, probably. I’ll just be fat for a while.” A hurtful remark is only as powerful as you give it power. By agreeing with criticism, you disarm the critic.
7. Ignore the injection
Listen to the comment, tell yourself it’s inappropriate, and forget it. The ability to forgive is one of essential abilities, which help us live and which we can develop in ourselves.
If you are not yet quite ready to forgive, let the speaker know that his remark has been heard, but there will be no response. The next time someone makes a sarcastic comment, wipe an imaginary stain off your shirt. When the person who offended you asks what you are doing, say: “I thought something hit me, but I must have been mistaken.”
When the abuser knows that you know too, he becomes much more careful. Or pretend you're not interested. Blink, yawn, and look away as if to say, “Who cares?” People can't stand being considered boring.
8. Add 10 percent
You will never be able to completely protect yourself from offensive remarks. Try to perceive some of them as natural manifestations of irritation that happen to everyone.
Most of us try not to offend others, but sometimes we make mistakes. So defend yourself when you think it's necessary, but Consider also the “10 percent rule”:
In 10 percent of cases, it turns out that the item you bought is cheaper elsewhere.
- in 10 percent of cases, an item that you lent to someone is returned to you damaged.
- in 10 percent of cases even yours best friend may say something without thinking and then regret what he said.
In other words, grow thicker skin. It is usually easiest to assume that people are trying to do the best they can, and many are simply unaware of how their behavior affects others.
Constantly holding the defense, proving you are right and controlling the situation is too expensive. Try to forgive and in return you will receive much less insults and troubles than these notorious 10 percent.
Also interesting:
When a man insulted the Buddha, he said: “My son, if anyone refuses to accept a gift, to whom does it belong?” “To the one who gives,” the man answered. “So,” continued the Buddha, “I refuse to accept your offensive words.”
The world is full of people who put others down to gain self-esteem. Do not accept insults, even when they shower you with them as gifts of love. By ignoring them, you will relieve stress, strengthen your relationships with others, and make your life more joyful. published
Often in life you have to deal with rudeness, rudeness, and insults. A verbal insult is sometimes more painful than a physical insult. And sometimes such a wound can take many years to heal.
What to do? Should I respond in kind? Pretend that nothing special happened? Could be so. Or you can teach the offender a lesson so that next time he will think a hundred times before deciding to make another attack against you. What needs to be done for this? Just go to court with a statement. Of course, litigation involves certain time, moral and, possibly, financial costs. And only you can decide whether you want to punish the boor and rude person according to the law or whether you will silently endure his further antics.
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted on December 10, 1948 by the UN General Assembly, proclaimed in Article 12 the inadmissibility of arbitrary
interventions in personal life a person and attacks on his honor. The concept of honor is determined by several criteria.
Honor is a person’s adherence to all the rules of moral and professional duty. This is a combination of moral and ethical qualities of an individual. The concept of honor usually goes in conjunction with the concept of “dignity”. Or another definition of honor:
honor is a complex moral, ethical and social concept, associated with the assessment of such qualities of an individual as fidelity, justice, truthfulness, nobility, dignity.
In Russian legislation, the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation contains an article “Insult” (Article 130, Chapter 17). Insult refers to crimes against freedom, honor and dignity of the individual. And by insult we mean humiliation of a person’s honor and dignity, expressed in an indecent form. In this case, it is not taken into account whether the assessment of the victim’s personality made in this way corresponds to reality. The only thing that matters is that this assessment was expressed precisely in a form indecent for public morality.
A criminal case for insult is initiated only at the request of the victim (Part 2 of Article 20 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation).
The punishment for the insulter will be a fine of forty thousand rubles if the insult was inflicted in a private conversation or eighty thousand rubles if it was voiced publicly or published in the media mass media or in any publicly displayed work. In addition, Russian legislation provides for correctional labor for a period of up to six months in the first case and for a year in the second. Corrective labor may be imposed as punishment at the discretion of the court.
You should also be aware that the offender can receive compensation for moral damage as a result of the dissemination of information discrediting honor, dignity and business reputation. The amount of compensation is determined in court, taking into account the moral suffering suffered by the victim, as well as the degree of guilt of the harm-doer. Compensation is paid in cash.
How to respond to insults - Do you need to respond?
— How to behave if you are insulted?
— How to respond to humiliation: general rules
— How to learn to respond to an insulter and not provoke new ones
— What to do if you are rude on the Internet?
— How to react to rudeness from relatives?
- Conclusion
Most often, they insult you intentionally, for some purpose, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.
Insults are always unpleasant, so you need to know how to respond to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression.
You may be deeply offended by phrases that you consider to be true. But that's not true. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more people like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that brings you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.
Think carefully about why people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give in and don't let anyone insult you.
They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality the offenders are weak individuals.
Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. Remember that this person is weaker than you and is simply afraid of being worse than you.
You need to remember that constructive criticism and insults are two different things. Just as criticism implies help in eliminating a person’s shortcomings, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else’s dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.
Sometimes offenders use non-standard language and very rude phrases in order to offend even more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through outright sarcasm and ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are being thrown in your direction.
For example, there is no need to respond to insults with direct obscene words; you can simply load a person with words using the knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.
There are overly emotional personalities who are unfamiliar to you, but stuck in a public place. Such people may behave inappropriately and attack with their fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then simply ignore him. Why would you stoop to the same level. And a fight definitely won’t lead to anything good.
It is best to calmly react with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you don’t care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind.
An interesting thing is, when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try thanking the person. This will clearly confuse him and he will not find anything else to say.
Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and who is offending you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to react to offenders.
— How to respond to humiliation: general rules
— How to learn to respond to an insulter and not provoke new ones
The ability to quickly formulate thoughts will help you emerge victorious from any verbal duel and put your presumptuous interlocutor in his place.
There are people who are rude more often than others. There is such a thing as the psychology of the victim. Sacrificial people who are easy to offend (he has such an appearance, he behaves this way, it is clear from him that he cannot respond to an insult) will always find their boor.
Often people are unable to somehow respond to an insult due to their own insecurity, low self-esteem or natural shyness. Having heard unpleasant words addressed to them, they, overwhelmed by fear, cannot utter a word. This requires an integrated approach - once you start fighting these qualities, constantly practice your ability to respond correctly to insults. And remember, the reaction to rudeness and boorish behavior must come from the depths of inner steadfastness.
In addition, fear, transmitted through some absolutely unimaginable channels, can spur the offender to more and more rudeness. So anytime conflict situation, including responding to insults, you must, first of all, curb your fear. We are designed in such a way that, not knowing how to defend ourselves from insults, we involuntarily begin to breathe deeper, strain our eyes, clench our fists or cross our legs and arms. In such situations, try to monitor your emotions and consciously control your external manifestations.
— What to do if you are rude on the Internet?
The best medicine is prevention. When communicating on the Internet - on forums, in chats - we often do not notice how we ourselves provoke our interlocutors to be rude in our direction. And, although in such a situation the one who was rude is always to blame, you should still follow some rules in order not to become a victim of ridicule and insults.
Rule 1. Never take anything that happens on the Internet to heart.
Rule 2. Before sending a message, read it carefully several times, try to look at it from the outside - can it be understood in two ways, does it correctly reflect your point of view.
Rule 3: Avoid grammatical errors.
Rule 4: Treat all participants in the discussion with respect.
Rule 5. Do not go off-topic under any circumstances, do not try to point your finger at where you were rude, and do not turn the conversation into evidence that you were offended.
Rule 6. Distinguish between rudeness and objective criticism. If you have been criticized for a reason, thank the critic, for example, with the words: “I’ll think about it, thanks for the comment.”
Rule 7. Always remember that the manifestation of rudeness is, first of all, proof that a person lacks worthy arguments.
But even following these rules will not protect you from insane individuals on the Internet. In this case, you should respond correctly to rudeness.
— How to react to rudeness from relatives?
The desire to defend yourself and “send” when insulted is a healthy reaction of the body. Any person has the right to respect from other people and has the right to insist on this and demand respectful treatment.
However, when it comes to relatives, especially parents, a healthy reaction of the body - anger - is hampered by other feelings: fear, love for relatives despite disagreements.
If there are prohibitions in the family on expressions of anger, for example, “being angry is not good”, on objections to parents, for example, “you must obey your parents and you cannot be angry with them,” then there may also be a feeling of guilt for your anger and thoughts of “hitting” and "send". If insults and humiliation are the norm in a family, then there may be a strong feeling of shame for one’s helplessness and inability to defend oneself.
First of all, it is important for you to understand what kind of feelings you experience besides anger at your family when you are insulted. To do this, when you are alone, try to remember any incident when you were insulted by them. Feel what emotions arise in response to their words.
Allow yourself to say what you want to say to them. Try to feel what you feel and continue to talk about your reaction to the insults. For example, to be ashamed and talk, or to be afraid, grieve, experience pain and talk.
You can react to insults from your family by expressing your feelings to them. It may look like this, depending on what feelings you discover in yourself:
1) “I love you very much, but I feel insulted when you do this”;
2) “Your words cause me great pain. It’s very difficult for me to listen when you talk like that”;
3) “When you talk like that, I don’t understand what it’s connected with. It will be easier for me to understand you if you don’t insult me.”
Sometimes with other people, including relatives, it is possible to speak only in their language, giving an adequate rebuff, where strength is equal to counterforce. Grieve over the fact that relatives are not able to show love and respect, and fight back. Sometimes separation is necessary from people who do not respond to other people's feelings.
- Conclusion
Before responding to an insult, remember that by insulting you, a person, first of all, humiliates himself. There is a category of people who are insecure and try to assert themselves at the expense of others, insulting others. These are just worth pitying. It is useless to get into a quarrel with them. Their only task is to ruin your mood. Don't let them do this.
Another reason that you were insulted may be the poor health of your interlocutor. When a person feels bad, he wants the people around him to feel lousy too.
In addition, even if you feel insulted, it is quite possible that the person did not mean to insult you at all, but simply said what he thought. In this case, he had no intention of offending you. Only those to whom we allow it can insult us. Whether you feel humiliated or not is up to you.
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
