Everyone has ups and downs in life, and often we blame others, fate for our failures, but we can not see our shortcomings point-blank. In order to change something in the world around you, you need to start, first of all, with yourself.

One day you will ask yourself the question - “where to start working on yourself?”. Self-improvement is a delicate matter, it must be approached very competently so that at one moment there is no desire to quit everything.

The wheel of life - as a strong motivation on the path of self-improvement

If you do not know where to start self-development how to choose the right path for yourself, first you need to understand where you are in it. The Wheel of Life is a system that helps you analyze your level of success.

To do this, you need to draw a circle, divide it into 8 sectors:

career and business. Do you enjoy your work?

- finance. Are you satisfied with your salary? Do you have enough funds for financial independence?

friends and environment. Does the environment help you develop? What do you get from communicating with friends?

- family and love. Is there harmony in your relationships with loved ones?

— health and sports. How strong is your health? Would you like to make your body attractive and lose weight?

- entertainment and recreation. Do you properly organize your vacation in order not only to recharge your batteries, but also to get something useful for yourself?

- education and personal growth. What knowledge have you acquired to develop and improve yourself?

- the brightness of life. Are you satisfied with your life? Does it have enough bright, memorable moments?

Each sector is your life value, which is necessary in order to feel the happiest. In this way, you will put things in order in your goals and you will better understand what you need to strive for. Also, do not forget to write what exactly in each sector you lack for complete happiness.

Each sector must be evaluated on a 10-point system. You must be as honest with yourself as possible. No need to look for excuses for your saggy tummy or a small salary. Just finally admit to yourself that everything is bad in these areas and you need to do something about it.

After that, connect the points on the scale with a line. If the figure obtained in the center resembles a circle, then you can only be congratulated. You are in complete harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

If you get a crooked figure, you can see which sector you need to work on in order to achieve harmony and happiness. In addition, by putting in order one sector, you can positively affect other parts.

After analyzing each sector, you must set yourself global goals that you need to break down into several small ones and already confidently strive for them. In addition, the goal should be achievable, so be realistic and do not try to become slim like Angelina Jolie and find yourself a prince in the person of Brad Pitt.

Get yourself a diary and write down in it what you have achieved, every small victory. For example, you have given up unhealthy but delicious food. Praise yourself for this.

A positive outlook on the future is half the battle

With self-development of personality cannot be achieved without a positive outlook on the future. If you keep thinking that you will not achieve anything, that there are no results, thoughts will swarm about quitting everything, you will never achieve anything.

You should meet every day with a smile, rejoice at even the smallest victories, see the positive in everything, notice changes in yourself.

Of course, thoughts alone are not enough for a person's self-development. Actions are important. At first, 30 minutes a day is enough - to read a book, to learn something. You can even just not sit on social networks or watch TV in the evening, and this will already be a victory and the first steps on the way. self-improvement.

Literature for self-improvement

Books for self-development are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, like the Bible or books on the teachings of the Tao, but many will not understand them.

Today there are a lot books for self-development. Here is a list of some of them:

1. Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen "A Whole Life". Learn to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
2. Dan Waldschmidt "Be best version myself". This book can radically change your life. It tells how simple people become outstanding;
3. M. J. Ryan "This year I ..." This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, fulfill the promises made to oneself, and change one's life for the better;
4. Brian Tracy Get out of your comfort zone. Worldwide recognized as the #1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone in order to achieve maximum goals;
5. Kelly McGonigal Willpower. How to develop and strengthen? The author believes that willpower is like a muscle that needs to be pumped and strengthened.

All books have one main point- self-development never ends. You can work all your life on the formation of your personality, make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used wisely.

A few rules for self-development

Each person lives in their own comfort zone, and often we are afraid of something new and unknown, which is why it is so difficult, and sometimes scary, to change our lives. The process of self-development must be turned into a habit so that you never leave this path.

How to start self-development? Plan Here are some simple steps you can take to build this habit:

- life depends directly on our desires and actions. There is nothing impossible in it. Never tell yourself that something is impossible to do, just think about what it takes to make it achievable;

- break the path to the main goal into several small ones that are easy to achieve. Once this becomes a habit, you can set more goals for yourself;

In the evening, think about everything that happened to you during the day. Write down your successes and failures. If you did something wrong or didn’t work out for you, think about what would have changed if you had acted differently.

Do not forget that self-improvement is a difficult path, but very interesting. If you once decided to change your life, stick to this thought always, and believe that the result will meet all expectations. Always look at life, successes and failures with a positive, and then you will definitely succeed.

Self-development. This word is heard more and more often in modern society. And the word “self-development”, as a rule, means such a wide range of activities that people with completely different worldviews, goals, values ​​and capabilities can engage in self-development. The word "self-development" today means everything from pumping up muscles in the gym to very strange religious rituals. What is “self-development”, and most importantly, why do you need to do it at all and how to do it in order to benefit both yourself and others?

In fact, how many people ask themselves the question “Why do you need to engage in self-development?” Self-development is a fashionable trend, and the one who is engaged in self-development is a priori considered to be a self-sufficient person, or striving to become one. But one of the main principles of sanity says that before each of our actions, we need to ask ourselves why we are doing it and what benefit it will bring.

All living beings (and not only people) in one way or another strive to find happiness and wish to avoid suffering. The only difference is that the level and quality of happiness is different for everyone. It’s hard to argue with the fact that the pleasure of tasty (and most often unhealthy) food and the pleasure of creating or helping other people give us a feeling of happiness. But it is already difficult to agree with the fact that this happiness is of the same quality. Firstly, in the case of tasty and unhealthy food, we get pleasure in combination with harm to health, and secondly, happiness is short-term, and from the point of view of emotions and sensations, it is rather flat. So to speak, the happiness of the 2D format. What can not be said about the happiness that we get from creativity with some kind of positive message or from helping other people - such happiness benefits everyone around, and most importantly, it is longer and more emotionally saturated. Well, everything is clear with happiness - the higher its quality, the longer it lasts and brings more joy. But what does this have to do with self-development? The most direct.

The further a person advances along the path of self-development, the higher the level of his happiness becomes and, importantly, the less his happiness depends on external conditions. IN modern world self-development is most often understood as development at the bodily level, less often at the mental and extremely rarely at the spiritual level. No one, of course, calls to be inspired by the example of the penitent robber from the famous work of Nekrasov and “put the body to torture”, saving the soul. Extremes should be avoided in everything, but the emphasis in self-development only on the bodily level - unfortunately, most often leads to spiritual degradation. And how to determine which path of self-development is harmonious? main feature the fact that a person in terms of self-development is moving in the right direction - this is when his happiness becomes less and less dependent on external conditions.

How to do self-development

How to engage in self-development and where to start? As mentioned above, self-development can be on three levels: physical, mental and spiritual. And if one of these aspects is a priority, and the other two are, as it were, by the way, then such self-development cannot be called harmonious. And one of the main aspects of self-development is motivation. Why does a person strive to become better? To impress others? To please someone? To improve the quality of life? To become more effective in study, work, sports, family life? If a person's motivation is purely selfish, such development will also not be harmonious. Because the world is arranged in such a way that everything in it is interconnected, and one person cannot become happy when everyone around him - friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors - is deeply unhappy. And another sign of the right path to development is when the reality around a person begins to change in better side. If a person notices that his self-development is gradually changing the lives of those around him for the better, then he is on the right path. Therefore, before thinking about how to engage in self-development, you must first decide what you need it for.

Therefore, the first thing to do is to draw up at least some kind of daily routine, or at least exclude the most time-consuming actions that do not bring objective benefits, but rather are done out of habit. You will be surprised how much free time you will have when you approach each of your actions consciously, honestly wondering what is the real benefit in this action. It will also help to go to bed early and wake up earlier. Necessary for full life hormones are produced from 10 pm to 5 am. And it is desirable to sleep at this time. The time before midnight is especially important: there is an opinion that it is at this time that the physical and mental forces of the body are restored, and if a person is awake at this time, the body and psyche are exhausted.

Next, pay attention to nutrition. And this is not only related to the bodily level: it has long been noted that the food we consume greatly affects consciousness. And if the diet contains harmful, artificial, refined food, as well as food that is the result of violence against animals - meat, fish, eggs, seafood, and so on - this will have an extremely negative effect on our consciousness. The fact is that in the human body everything is interconnected, and what enters our stomach and intestines is carried by blood throughout the body, including entering the brain. Can a brain poisoned by some of the chemicals in refined foods, or the hormones and antibiotics infused in meat foods, work smoothly and efficiently? The question is rhetorical.

What to study for self-development

So, with the initial stage of self-development, everything is clear. It is necessary to adjust the daily routine and nutrition. And even this alone will make you happier and healthier. But this is only the beginning. How to directly engage in self-development? To do this, we need information that at the initial stage will tell us the right path. As mentioned above, self-development is a very fashionable trend in our society, so a lot of books on how to become happy and successful have already been written, and even more will be written in the future. How reliable can all of them be? Let's try to figure it out.

If you observe our society, you can come to the conclusion that the motivations of people in it are most often purely selfish. Therefore, any kind of self-development also most often pursues selfish goals - to become healthier, richer, more successful, and, as a rule, at any cost. That's why modern books about self-development are mostly written according to the principle “demand creates supply”. If people are much more interested in how to become richer and more successful, how to make a career, and so on, then most of the literature will be focused on this. There are, of course, worthy books, but, as they say, a spoonful of honey in a barrel of tar.

What to do? No one is advising you to stop reading books altogether. There is a simple principle: the text from which we want to draw some information must be time-tested. And, based on this theory, you need to read the most ancient writings, because if the text has already survived several centuries, or even millennia, it is probably not just some kind of pseudo-philosophical writing. From this point of view, the most relevant will be the Vedic scriptures, or any sacred scriptures of world religions. However, if these are some relatively young texts, then there are also many questions for them. The most interesting in terms of knowing yourself and the world around you will be such texts as, (part of the Mahabharata).

Buddhist sacred texts can also be interesting. For example, which is considered the quintessence of the Buddha's Teachings. And the Buddha himself said that this sutra is "the first among all the sutras." A very inspiring philosophical text can be called written by the monk-philosopher Shantideva. At the initial stage, such complex texts may seem difficult to understand. Then you can start with something simpler. For example, many works by Paulo Coelho make you think about life, about its values, about finding a purpose, and so on. The same can be said about the works of many Russian writers of the times tsarist Russia. Therefore, the choice is incredibly large, and everyone will be able to find something that will resonate in his heart.

How to learn self-development

How to engage in self-development and not “cool down” after a couple of weeks, as is often the case? This is due to low motivation. At first, a person “lights up”, and then more and more often he is overcome by doubts: “Why is this necessary, everything is so good, what are these efforts for?” etc. Therefore, motivation is important. At the initial stage, motivation can be very simple: improve your health, financial situation, relationships with others, and so on. But the fact is that if you have chosen an adequate development path, then you will achieve these goals very quickly. If you just fix your diet by replacing it with a healthier one, adjust your daily routine and start behaving more consciously, then, as a rule, problems with health, finances and people around you are mostly quickly resolved. And here, oddly enough, a difficult period arises - what to do next? Suffering has stopped - there is no motivation to move on. And here a person has two ways: he either stops developing (and as you know, if there is no evolution, degradation sets in), or he gives rise to a new motivation in his heart - he has a desire to help others based on the experience that he himself has acquired.

When a person embarks on the path of self-development and reaches a level where most of his own suffering has ceased, this means that he can effectively help others. And at this stage there is often a period of fanaticism, when a person seeks to "catch up with everyone and do good to everyone." Basically, it can be said certain stage development. Then the person realizes that not everyone needs help, and many are happy in all their problems and suffering and simply do not want to change anything. Therefore, you should not fanatically impose the path of self-development on everyone. But if you see that a person is suffering and is ready to change something, then based on your experience you can help him. And the motivation to help others will be a new level of development for you too, which will allow you to move on - to new horizons. In general, for the sake of this, everything was originally started - to develop in order to be effective in helping other people.

I am not a supporter of imposing my opinion on anyone, so this material is the result of a good spring morning and the inspiration that came to me.

I believe that you need to develop yourself at any age and constantly raise the bar with new goals and objectives: learn to sing, drive a car, earn a million for the first time, spend it, learn the language of the country where you are going for the winter, learn to relax and enjoy life ... perhaps , everyone can replenish the list for a long time. Therefore, the importance of developing yourself on your own and with the help of other people is difficult to overestimate - and more on that.

What does it mean to develop yourself

Today they talk about the need to develop oneself as a person, starting almost from kindergarten. Moreover, what I don’t particularly like, many people tell what this development should be like and what it should be based on only from their experience and from their own bell tower.

I am convinced that you need to develop yourself regularly, and each age has its own characteristics of this process. Speaking about what it means to develop oneself, I would immediately like to dwell on the fact that this is a complex concept, which is based on such fundamental points:

• Development of oneself as a person;
• Develop yourself creatively, intellectually and spiritually;
• To improve in a certain social sphere;
• Development of oneself as a representative of a business or a certain profession.

Plus, your role in the family, in the social world, and even your reputation is taken into account.

How much does it cost to develop yourself

Many philosophers have been looking for and are looking for answers to this question, but they cannot offer us a universal recipe suitable for everyone. Maybe it's for the better, because everyone's comfort zone is different, and its boundaries cannot be fit into a certain framework.

It is important to understand that development is a continuous process, just at each stage there are new goals and tasks to solve.

I would like to emphasize that development at 3 years is no less important than development at 25. Many of our habits, inclinations and even creative moments are instilled from early childhood, so why not constantly develop and improve them. And here we are talking about hunger (in the good sense of the word), about creative, spiritual, intellectual hunger, when, feeling thirsty, you strive to fill yourself with fresh water. First you are satiated with a few drops, and then one glass is not enough for you.

Types of self-development

Open any textbook on psychology or NLP and you will see such a huge classification of types of self-development that you will be surprised that such aspects even exist. And let you call me a conservative, in some sense of the word, but I will focus on 5 main points that are important to me, and in which directions I try to develop myself every day. At the same time, a useful addition will be material on how to find yourself, which contains the main tools to help you find your real self.

Today, it is often said that the process of teaching a child and an adult (in particular at a university) should be turned into a fun game, thereby triggering development mechanisms. It’s hard to disagree with this, because, remember, when we first took a felt-tip pen or a brush for drawing - a masterpiece, to put it mildly, was so-so, but each time our skills improved and our skills became more conscious. Among what develops me, I can single out the desire to discover new countries, because the local color, traditions, and inhabitants strongly influence and set me in a creative mood.

Professional Development

In order to develop yourself in this way, the main focus should not be on school, university, technical school or academy. The question is that there you will be given certain skills and abilities, but how useful will they be to you in your further development? If you asked me how I developed myself from a professional point of view, I would say that I used the “5 P” rule (brought it myself, dear readers and investors. Use it to your health)

• Adopted the experience and knowledge of others;
• Practiced and experimented;
• Traveled;
• Enjoyed life;
• Looking positively into the future.

This set of spiritual practices will help you develop yourself in different areas, after all, you must admit, you always want to be an active person who can support a conversation about music, and travels around the world, and learns new languages, and has information about what is happening in the world of finance in general, and knows how ether is mined, and how lagman is being prepared.

sports development

In a healthy body healthy mind! Therefore, I am convinced that along with intellectual, professional and creative development, one should not forget about its sporty appearance. No one wants to walk at 30 and feel 50 years old, so from my own experience I’ll say that a light but regular sports load, frequent walks, swimming have not harmed anyone yet, but they have made it possible to noticeably improve and external forms, and mood.

intellectual development

I believe that a person is not obliged to know everything, after all, he is not Wikipedia, and no one forces him to be one. But learning new things, striving to learn something new is an important tool in self-development. That is why I always offer readers materials from various fields, from how to choose a miner for cryptocurrency mining to what remote work is, and how to completely reformat your life in order to receive income and not be a cog in the office system.

Important: It's never too late to learn and it's never a shame. Learning is fun and necessary throughout one's life. Do not be afraid to ask questions, the answers to them are your suitcase of knowledge.

Meditation, relaxation techniques, rest, healthy, calm and regular sleep help to develop spiritually and enjoy life. Sometimes something needs to happen in life to understand that developing oneself spiritually is just as important and essential as engaging in external or mental improvement.

Among many of my acquaintances who regularly relax, practice spiritual practices, change their place of residence and have a positive outlook on life, almost all of them are positive and optimistic people who give back to the world. solar energy, and the world gives them a hundredfold.

Among the main features of spiritual development is faith in the best and healthy egoism. You cannot become calm and enjoy life if you do not receive it directly from yourself.

Combining all these types of self-development, one can live as a harmonious person who inspires others and also receives positive energy from others.

How much do you need to develop yourself

The answer to this question directly depends on what you want to get out of life, what small and global goals you are pursuing, and how well you have the tools to achieve them. I am convinced that this should be done throughout life and constantly increase the tasks, as well as hone them for a certain age and needs. At the same time, I am also sure that our close environment helps to develop ourselves and directly affects our harmonious portrait as individuals.

That is why it is always so reverent to watch the Oscars ceremony, when the winners thank those who have been there throughout this journey. Although, it is worth noting that everyone in life has certain crises that require a solution, and sometimes, having reached a certain such an alluring goal, it becomes lazy to develop oneself further and one wants to fold one's hands and do nothing. In this case, I give myself one day of good rest - without work, the Internet, mobile and news - I enjoy the rest, and after a couple of days such a depressive state abruptly disappears.

I think, dear readers of GQ Blog Monitor, you definitely like to develop yourself creatively, especially since there are a lot of ways to do this. One of them can be considered a series of webinars that will start in May. As part of these online practices, we will explore the main types of personality, character and behavior, as well as how they affect our world and our investment policies.

Traditionally, putting a dot in the material from the heading “Thoughts”, I would replace it with three dots. I wish you to develop yourself with different sides and get indescribable pleasure from it. And since the material ends with an ellipsis - an open ending, your helpful comments and valuable tips below it will help make it more complete and informative.

Hello. In this article, we will figure out where to start self-development, what should be the starting point for personal development. If you asked this question, then today you will receive an answer to it!

So this is where development should start from. Need to start with changing your thinking! That is, for example, it is impossible to start any business if you are satisfied with working for a hired job, or it is unrealistic to go to dances if you are notorious and afraid that they will look at you.

If you want to improve somehow, then for this you need to understand yourself at the beginning of the path and understand in which directions you need to develop specifically. After all, there is no single concept “self-development is only a healthy lifestyle, quit smoking, drinking, and going to trainings for personal growth.”

The Internet is simply full of such advice and these are fundamentally not true statements, then of course, it's great when you do not neglect these tips and lead the right way of life. But the fact is that for everyone the concept of "Correct" is individual.

So, where to start self-development?

Tip number 1. Understand yourself!

Understand what you want from life, what you want to do and in what directions to develop. I understand that for many this question is difficult, but nevertheless, if at this stage you are not able to decide, then you simply cannot go further, or you will go along a crooked road to nowhere.

By the way, there is one excellent article ““ not on this topic, so I highly recommend reading it.

It took me a lot of time to figure it out, unfortunately. Although now I understand that there is nothing to regret, because now there is concrete clarity, and I know what I should and want to do in life, what is my vocation, what is my mission and main goal. In order to understand, there are two ways;

1. Just alternately try everything that life will offer and after who knows how many years to understand what is your true passion (not the best option right?).
2. Choose initially your passion, the business that brings you pleasure and fruits, both spiritual and material, and start acting in this direction.

I chose the second option and I don't regret it at all. If you still cannot understand what your true passion is, do the following:

• Take a notebook and a pen and make a list of things you like to do, your hobbies or activities that bring you pleasure and do not get tired of them. How more themes better (at least 10 different activities)
• From the compiled list, select the 5 best and closest to you.
• Then you can test each of these areas for yourself in order to understand what is more desirable.
• After the test, you will definitely understand what is closer to you, what works better, and what you really want to do in life, and perhaps this is how you will find yours.

Something I was carried away by the choice of destination, but understandable. This is a very voluminous topic that cannot be covered in one article, so I will write in more detail about how to choose your destination in the following posts, I advise you not to miss it. And we will continue!

Council number 2. Pick up the relevant literature and start reading!

To start developing tightly in the direction you want, you need to be fueled by powerful knowledge in this area and nothing helps as much as. So go to the bookstore and find some useful material. Of course, besides this, I advise you to take other books on the topic personal growth, development, business, etc.

Definitely need to read books of different directions, so as not to get tired of the monotony and develop in different directions. When I asked myself the topic of self-development, I went to a bookstore and got myself the first book, Ladder to Success by Napoleon Hill. I won't say that it was my best choice, since I read more impressive ones next, but nevertheless, a start was made.

By the way, I have already opened a new section on the site, where I will talk about useful books that everyone should read, I will give reviews on them and briefly explain what the book is about, so that you can understand for yourself whether you need it or not, therefore, the first issues very soon.

Beyond Literature it will also be extremely useful to take additional courses, seminars and trainings on topics that are interesting to you and you feel that you need to pump certain skills. Now I’m not talking about those where all sorts of gurus will open your chakras and cleanse your body, but only those who help you fully reveal yourself in your favorite business and pump yourself in this both physically and mentally.

For example: how to overcome laziness, how to develop a good voice and diction, how to get rid of fears and phobias, how to use your time effectively, how to learn to dance, how to find your purpose and life's work ... etc., etc. And now there is enough such goodness both on the Internet and offline. It all depends on what you need more at the moment.

For you, I will find the most useful and sensible courses and post reviews on them on this site so that you do not suffer from the tone of water and immediately take and apply the best.

Tip number 3. Think and act in the direction of your desires!

Do you already know about that? Or at least once heard about this theory, and maybe even felt it for yourself. I have no doubts about it, I have already tried it.

So, in order to give impetus to your development, you need to think in this direction, think about how you develop, how you become better, the main thing is to imagine exactly what you will become better in, how it will manifest itself in outside world and surroundings, how you will become a more authoritative and strong person in the eyes of other people!

It’s clear that thoughts themselves will not be enough, and skeptics of this theory may say that all this is nonsense, and yet, in addition to thoughts, certain actions must be constantly taken in order to grow every day.

That is, if you want to become the best in dancing, or in psychology, or in boxing, or in business and sales, do this regularly. Improve your skills every day, study books, courses, trainings and the most important thing – PRACTICE this knowledge, otherwise you won’t budge!

Of course, this is not all that I wanted to talk about within the framework of this topic, because the topic is quite voluminous, but today I wrote the basis for starting self-development. I did just that and everything went up further, so I advise you.

In the next article, I will continue this topic and in the second part I will lay out the maximum of chips that will be useful on the path of your improvement, therefore, in order not to miss it, you will receive it soon, as well as a number of other useful things in the future.

Finally, I prepared a useful video for you on this topic. We look:

That's all for today. See you later.

P.S. Write in the comments what you have already done for personal improvement? Where did you start or will you start?

A person acquires new knowledge and skills throughout his life. It is impossible to constantly stay at one point, there is always some process going on: degradation or development. This is especially true today, in an age of rapid change. Even 10-20 years ago, many ordinary things seemed like a miracle of science and technology.

Self-development and self-improvement is available to any person, regardless of the region of residence, standard of living. Even living in the village of Deep Outback, you can work in a world famous company.

Awareness is the main rule of a thinking person who understands that tomorrow depends on his actions, deeds, thoughts, in which the seeds sown today will sprout.

The best ways to make your reality fuller and richer, to stop being upset that everything goes wrong:

1. Accept the idea that we can only change ourselves. Other people, processes are not subject to our will.
2. Learn to look at the world the right way. Everything that surrounds a person mirrors his actions. Friends don't call? The wife became grumpy, the children got out of hand? We need to find the moment when and what went wrong. Most likely, this is part of your fault.
3. Look for pain points that interfere with healthy communication, building relationships. If it doesn’t work out on your own - go to a psychologist, he knows how.
4. Refuse to be a victim. This position will not help.
5. Understand that everything has a price. I want to successful business? You will have to give up watching TV shows, gatherings with girlfriends and plow for 15 hours at first.
6. Get ready for hard work. It is most difficult to educate yourself, the forces of influence and opposition will be equal.
7. Know true needs. To do not what is accepted, others are waiting, fashionable or prestigious. Goals that do not come from the heart are rarely realized.
8. Learn to keep emotions under control. They are a donkey that a man leads on a string of cute vegetable stalls. You don't have to let an animal stick its snout on every counter.
9. Realize your imperfection. Everyone has the right to weakness, fatigue, mistakes. Another thing is to draw the right conclusions from negative experience.
10. Analyze. Before going to bed, it is worth scrolling through the day in your head. For moments of misbehavior, do not reproach yourself, but understand why you are covered with anger, rage, resentment.

By understanding the reasons for your actions, it will be easier to avoid repeating such situations. Before you let go of the negativity, you should take a break, go to another room, cool down, think, and only then make decisions.

Self-development: where to start, how to make a plan

Wanting to become more developed, perfect, interesting, it is worth developing a path strategy, indicating adequate deadlines. It is clear to learn foreign language, losing 20 kilograms, growing from a salesperson to a CEO is impossible in a month.

At the beginning, the most important and delayed task is set, for example, to find a job in such and such a company in a year. Then the steps leading to the result are worked out. What can increase the chances of success?

They work with foreign clients - learn the language. High-profile specialists are valued - to undergo advanced training, to graduate from prestigious courses. It is easier to get there by patronage - to find friends who work there, or to get acquainted with one of the employees ( social media, common interests to help), etc.

Each item has its own study: learn 10 per day English words, every month for six months to save money for attending courses. Breaking the global goal into small steps makes it easier to achieve it.

The strategy is written down in a notepad or computer file, with points and sub-points, crossing them out as they are executed. It is clear what to do, and everything does not look so scary. It's called cutting an elephant into steaks. It's easier to eat a huge carcass piece by piece.

What will be included in the development plan is an individual question, everyone wants their own: to achieve financial growth, build a family, build muscle or stop being shy about everything. But the stronger sex needs to constantly work on itself, such is its nature.

It is better to move in several directions at once:

1. Body - playing sports, giving up cigarettes, alcohol, changing eating habits.
2. Will - to be able to set a goal and achieve.
3. Environment - relationships with parents, children, his woman, friends. This item is often not pumped for guys, but it largely affects life, happiness, harmony.
4. Intelligence - to read, be interested in politics, the latest developments in technology, science, watch high-quality films, develop musical taste.

A man by nature is an "achiever", a conqueror. Only by overcoming himself, striving for the heights and conquering them, he feels the fullness of life, realizes himself in it.

Women are more relationship oriented, although there are many examples of career women vying for the leather chair with more passion than their male counterparts.

It is important for a girl to feel harmonious, so the main focus should be on:

1. Self love. Reasonable egoism will allow you to release a bunch of energy that flows into self-flagellation, helping those who have sat down on their necks, listening to hourly complaints from girlfriends.
2. Building a beautiful body. It is not necessary to adjust yourself to the standards invented by marketers. It is enough to feel attractive, active, fit, flexible, enjoy health and tone.
3. Develop the mind. A lady with a pleasant appearance, able to keep up a conversation about a variety of things, surprise the interlocutor with a non-trivial point of view, able to analyze information and make competent forecasts based on it, always stands out from the crowd.

There may be additional points: femininity, professionalism in the chosen field, career.

During the period of the decree

Sitting at home with a baby, you should especially pay attention to yourself. Often young mothers are so active in motherhood that they forget about themselves. And now a beautiful, bright, cheerful person turns into an unkempt-looking aunt with a blurred figure who does not know what to talk about, except for a child and home life.

Of course, the baby requires strength, time, but you can learn to combine business with pleasure, for example, while walking with a stroller, you can listen to an audiobook or learn a foreign language, walking at a fast pace and burning calories. In the evening, instead of the usual sitting on social networks, read a new book.

Part of the worries can be entrusted to the husband (this develops the paternal instinct, forms attachment to the child), grandmothers. They'll do great.

And at this time, get a manicure, go to the hairdresser or do fitness, even at home, in front of the monitor. It is worth thinking about the future: are you planning to return to your previous job or try to change your profession, having completed a retraining course at that time? With a strong desire, there are opportunities for this.

What most often hinders personal growth

Sometimes people do not want to develop themselves or do it only in their dreams, swearing to themselves and others that right from Monday they will do everything at once.

Why does this day not come for years?

1. There is no motivation. If the salary of a chief accountant differs from the salary of an ordinary accountant by a couple of hundred, but at the same time promises a heap of additional work, and prestige is not what you want, it will be difficult to force yourself to get a higher education.
2. Unwillingness to sacrifice what is. Everyone understands that with an increase in financial and social status, they will have to change their social circle, their habits, and begin to “fit in”.
3. Fear. It is not known what will take the place of the old. I’ll quit smoking, I won’t know what to do during pauses, I won’t be able to recognize latest news in the smoking room, gain weight. Do I need it?
4. Laziness. Any change is difficult, and the human being is by nature lazy and longs for peace.
5. Hidden benefit. Having achieved material independence, a woman will be able to leave her hateful spouse, but at the same time she will lose the sympathy of others, material support for their children from his parents. Understanding this, she, referring to employment, does not even strive to find a job with a higher salary.

Every action has a downside, and every step leads us somewhere. You need to soberly understand this and realize why nothing is being done to improve personal qualities.

They contain sources of motivation, actionable advice, examples of how people, real or fictional, managed to overcome themselves and achieve their goals.

The literature on the organization of time, the development of the necessary skills, written by psychologists, will be useful. It is worth paying attention to biographies of people who have left a mark on history, science, sports, and art.

Top 5 self-development books that will bring practical benefits:

1. "Extreme Time Management". Written in a simple and understandable language, involving from the first pages into the life of the protagonist, it differs significantly from most classic textbooks on organizing life. (Tolkachev, Morochkovsky).
2. "Smile before it's too late." You can consider the works of Alexander Sviyash from the point of view of psychology or esotericism, but in any case, they will not leave an interested audience indifferent. The author tells in detail what exactly prevents a person from enjoying life as it is, and what can be done to improve circumstances.
3. "I want to be happy". Doctor, sexologist, positive psychologist Natalya Tolstaya creates books that help women become better, avoid many mistakes or correct what is still possible. easy language with kindness, humor, this woman writes about complex and important things.
4. "Find yourself." Book-motivator. Often a person so lacks a positive impulse, a magical kick from the outside, capable of inspiring accomplishments. Andrei Rudenko generously shares with the reader a message for action.
5. "What to dream about." People do not want to do what is right, right, prestigious, finding a personal way of success in what is close and consonant with their soul. Barbara Sher will tell you not to waste energy on overcoming contradictions, where to direct your own efforts for the best result.

Conclusion

Everything that brings joy has the right to enter life without an accompanying feeling of guilt. Self-development is not only a result, it is also a path. It is better if it is pleasant and interesting, in itself giving pleasure.