Under pressure

Who doesn’t know the nagging feeling: the teacher moves around the class, comes up to your desk and... stops! The soul sinks into your heels, your hands become cold, time stands still. And the point is not that from time immemorial the educational process has been organized in such a way that the teacher can do anything: demand, evaluate, scold, call parents, while the student can do nothing except study well. The trouble is that many teachers use “non-standard” methods of “pedagogical influence” in their practice. For example, collective punishment. Petrov has not learned his lesson - the teacher shouts. But not only for Petrov, but for the whole class: everyone should feel guilty! It will not be surprising if at such a moment even excellent students begin to bite their lips out of excitement. For another teacher, the main weapon is irony. It always hits where it hurts the most. Therefore, when the gaze stops on a student, he presses himself into the desk, dreaming of quickly dissolving and becoming invisible.

What to do if a child is afraid to go to school because of a particular teacher? Try to be the first to take a step forward, tell the teacher himself about your trouble. Perhaps he does not attach much importance to his ironic tone and does not assume what effect he has on the child. Always make direct contact with the teacher. The teacher will either help you cope with the problem, or will be indifferent (hostile) to your frankness. In any case, such communication will allow you to look at what is happening from a different perspective and better understand the situation in which the child finds himself.

Psychological pressure gives rise to a huge variety of fears: before the inevitable need to answer, before the danger of looking funny in the eyes of your classmates, before a mark.

Incomprehensible: after all, the mark is just a number, which, as a rule, does not mean anything. But she is the one who has magical power: afraid of getting a bad grade, children do not want to go to school; because of bad grades, many parents become enemies of their own child.

Today, fortunately, there are schools that have abandoned grades altogether. Do you think children in such schools study worse and try less? Nothing like this! It’s just that parents and children themselves, free from the fear of numbers, begin to understand: the point of studying is not to earn more good grades, but to learn new things and work on their shortcomings.

I leaf through the sixth-grader’s diary: “Comrade parents! Not done homework. Take action!”, “Test - 2”, “Disgraceful behavior!” Does this boy love his school if no one here loves him? He's probably in no hurry to show his diary to his parents. He hides it, lies, gets out of it. Fear became a part of him. He is always between two fires - school and home. How can I help him get out of the vicious circle? Be patient. Let at least there be no “fire” at home. And, despite the fiery calls coming from the diary, become your child’s ally. In any situation, in any failure, he has the right to count on your support and help.

A modern school has a whole “remote control” for putting pressure on a child and his parents. There are buttons “threat of expulsion”, “dividing into weak and strong”, “additional exams” - you never know how many such “buttons” you can think of! Don't let yourself get sucked into this game. Always put the child's interests first.

Enemy number one is boredom

How do children feel when they go to school for the first time? Happy! They were promised a beautiful, bright, almost adult world! They become first-graders and wait with passionate inspiration: now the most interesting, long-awaited part will begin. But it doesn’t start and doesn’t start. And every day children are convinced that studying is boring. They consider themselves deceived (the parents should not have painted an ideal image!), so in high school enter with a feeling of deep disappointment. It is at this age that problems with discipline arise, buttons are placed on teachers’ chairs, and lessons are disrupted. In high school there comes a time of sluggish apathy and widespread absenteeism.

To avoid such a sad prospect, often ask your child when he comes home from school:

What was interesting today?
If he immediately starts talking about some lesson or event, everything is in order. If he gives up hopelessly:
As always - nothing! – this is a serious alarm signal.

Some children are able to complete teacher assignments whether they are interested in it or not. They are simply efficient. But there are children for whom boredom is akin to torture. The melancholy in their eyes and irresistible yawning are so clearly imprinted on their faces that they cannot but irritate the teacher.

When the ceiling in my apartment began to shake, and the sounds of heavily falling objects were interspersed with squeals, I knew that up there they were doing their math homework.
- What is a fraction?! – was clearly heard from above. - Well, finally share, you pest!
Neighbor Vita helped her son do his homework.
- I'm all on edge! – she complained when we met, swallowing valerian. - My boyfriend is smart. Everywhere – on “4” and “5”. As soon as you get to mathematics, you become dumb and that’s it!
- Maybe the teacher is bad? – I timidly suggested.
Vita raised her eyebrows in surprise:
- Who cares?
And again the ceiling in my apartment is shaking...
But suddenly it’s quiet for a week, then another...
A new mathematician has arrived! – Vita said. - My Lenka solves problems himself now - you can’t stop him!
War is over. Nothing is known about the victims. Perhaps this is Lenkina nervous system, traumatized by constant scandals, or perhaps a relationship with her mother that will never become as warm as before.

Is it a child’s fault if he is not interested in learning? I think parents are able to determine where their child is lazy, does not want to make an effort, and where he is simply bored. You should not scold him for something that is not his fault. After all, he cannot find a good teacher for himself or explain to a bad one how to work. Creative people need an appropriate environment. Fortunately, parents now have the right to choose the school their child will attend. Search before it's too late. Until your son has forgotten how to listen, while he has sparkling eyes and a responsive heart. Boredom kills it all.

Unhook my tag!

Grandmother! I'm stupid! – said Masha, returning from school.
-Who told you this?! - Grandmother clasped her hands.
- Chemistry teacher!
Tomorrow Masha will hear the same word from her physics teacher, then her classmates will pick it up, and soon the girl herself will believe it. He will begin to be embarrassed to answer and be reluctant to go to school.

How diverse is the range of school labels: “hooligan”, “truant”, “weak”, “gray”, “poor student”... Such labels are not at all harmless. Previously it was just Zhenya, but now he is “difficult”. And Zhenya behaves accordingly, and everyone around him is biased towards him. "No! - say the teachers, - Petrov cannot do “4”. He can only do “2”. No matter how hard Petrov tries, he won’t be able to get higher than “3”. And does he want to go to school after this? No one notices the talents hidden in Petrov. After all, the teachers of Leo Tolstoy and Albert Einstein once overlooked them, labeling them as gray C students.

There are no mediocre children, and no one knows the true abilities of their child better than parents. The best way combating negative school labels - creating conditions in which talent would reveal itself. Find a club, a sports section, a studio - let him choose what he wants to do. Then the child will know: I cannot study with straight A's, but I can draw (dance, play the violin) well. He will not be focused only on school and will stop worrying about the label sewn on him.

Me and hostile “others”

Ezhikov was afraid to go to school from the first day. When the teacher, introducing herself to the class, said his last name, the children laughed. And Ezhikov was so upset that he began to cry. This is how his reputation developed. The situation was aggravated by the fact that Ezhikov really shrank all the time: either from the loud noise during recess, or from a blow on the shoulder. This, of course, could not escape the watchful eyes of his classmates. Ridicule and bullying became the boy's constant companions. At first, Ezhikov cried, begging his mother to leave him at home. Sometimes she agreed. But Ezhikov soon realized: one missed day does not change anything, because tomorrow will inevitably come and he will have to go to school again.

Five years passed like this. Trying to protect her son, the mother came to class to “sort things out” with the offenders and got into a row with their parents. But this only caused more harm. The mother was convinced: the reason lies in the evil children who, as if by choice, all ended up in the same class. She achieved a transfer to another class. But fame ran ahead of Ezhikov, and here he was no better.

Desperate, my mother turned to the school psychologist. The specialist’s diagnosis boiled down to the following: Alyosha Ezhikov has absolutely no experience of communicating with peers. Before school, the boy was raised in sterile conditions, almost in a flask. Kindergarten he didn't visit. I usually walked hand in hand with my grandmother at a slow pace. It is not surprising that Ezhikov himself soon turned into a little old man.

The psychologist began working with the boy, analyzing problematic situations, which arose in Ezhikov, suggesting how best to behave. Alyosha went through psychological training. A lot has changed in him, but the burden of the “former Ezhikov” turned out to be too heavy. Therefore, the psychologist advised to transfer the boy to another school. He believed that Alyosha was ready for a decisive breakthrough.

Ezhikov met the first of September of his seventh grade in new school. Hearing his last name, the guys laughed. Alyosha was already familiar with this - he just grinned. Now he is confident in himself - there were no enemies around.

Poor relationships with classmates are a common reason why a child does not want to attend school. Try to force him to be frank and figure it out: maybe he is inclined to oppose himself to the team? Or, having leadership ambitions, is you dissatisfied with your current position in the class? Maybe he has a conflict with a specific student or is depressed by an offensive nickname? Analyze and discuss with your child everything that worries him. It is better to resolve any conflict within the school, considering moving to another as the last resort, because where is the guarantee that the child will not face the same problem there?

Remember little Pavlik, who, upon seeing school, immediately ran home from his mother? The parents managed to find out the reason. Sobbing, Pavlik told them a terrible secret: the teacher does not love him! No, she doesn’t scream or swear, she just doesn’t like her. It took a lot of effort for the parents to explain to their son that the teacher should not love him, that in life there would still be many adults who would not love him. And there is nothing terrible in this, this is normal.
But the child's soul cannot reconcile. She's still waiting for love.

When to look for another school

1. In case of deliberate bullying of a child by a teacher.
2. If the school does not provide full educational process(there are no teachers in one or more subjects, the level of teaching is weak).
3. If the methods practiced in this school contradict your views on education and damage the psyche of your child.
3. In case of hostility from all classmates.
4. If high demands and overload have a detrimental effect on the child’s health

Even during the holidays, I am scared by the thought that at school the teacher will yell at me or give me a bad grade. I try to think less about the first of September, but every day I am more and more afraid. Usually, when I get a bad grade, I always feel sad, and that’s all I think about for the rest of the day. How to gain confidence and not be afraid to go to school?

Veronica, 12 years old

Don't forget that a bad grade can be corrected. Next time you will be able to show more high result, if you prepare, learn what there were gaps in before. Sometimes assessments are needed to see what you have learned and what you still need to work on. A bad grade doesn't make you worse. It's not a stigma, it doesn't define what kind of person you are. We don't always manage to get good grades in all subjects. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, some subjects do better, others worse.

The only thing a bad grade indicates is the need to work through the missed material. Don't stop communicating with friends, don't isolate yourself, ask for help if necessary. Feel free to clarify anything that is not clear with teachers and those who understand the subject well. There is no shame in learning and asking. Try not to just forget about the bad grade, but make sure it helps you in the future.

When explaining the material, the teacher should not yell at you. If he often raises his voice and that's why you're afraid to go to school, tell your parents. You can contact a school psychologist.

During summer holidays We always get unaccustomed to the usual rhythm, and we don’t want to go back to school. But this feeling usually passes quickly - after all, at school you are not only expected test papers, but also friends you haven’t seen in the summer.

Ask a question to an expert online

In the overwhelming majority of cases, a child’s reluctance to go to school is not laziness, but a fear of being left without parental support. The child is afraid to be in an unfamiliar place with strangers, he is afraid of getting lost. Most often, this fear arises in children who were raised at home before school and have not undergone adaptation to children's team. So what to do if your child is afraid to go to school? How can I help him learn to regulate his behavior in order to become part of the team?

What to do if your child is afraid to go to school

Firstly, reluctance to go to school is absolutely normal, so parents don’t need to worry too much. The first school year is the most difficult for students, because their usual life changes dramatically. Play is replaced by study and work, new relationships are formed - all this can cause stress, due to which the child is afraid to go to school, and you need to have patience to help your baby survive this stress as quickly and easily as possible.

In addition to the fact that the child is frightened by the school load, not only physical, but also psycho-emotional, he is afraid of the responsibility that has now fallen on him. He cannot stop learning, just like yesterday he could stop playing a game that was boring. He is subject to demands that he must fulfill, he is required to comply with the school regime, and he cannot choose which lessons to attend and which not.

Another reason for fear of school is the new team. Both teachers and classmates are people whom the first grader does not know. He is afraid that adults will scold him, and children will not accept him into the team. Even adults are nervous before their first day of work, let alone children...

Of course, in most cases, after a while, the tension subsides and the fear disappears. But not always and not for everyone. Therefore, let's look at an algorithm of actions that will help your baby make it easier to get used to the new status. And the first thing you should do is explain that his fear is common. Tell us how you were afraid to go to school, and how funny these fears and worries seemed to you later.

Explain to him that teachers are people who will teach him what he would never learn on his own, and classmates are new friends with whom it will be very interesting. For faster adaptation, invite him to treat his classmates with candy or cookies that you bake yourself. Give him a game that he can play with new friends during recess, and it may well be that your child will win the favor of his classmates.

If your child has already been accustomed to some kind of routine, it will be easier for him to get used to the school regime, and although he has more responsibility, try to present it to him as if his personal importance has increased along with the responsibility. Treat him as an individual, teach him to be proud of his successes, and he will truly become successful.

Do not forbid your child to take toys with him to school: sometimes just one glance at an object from his usual environment will help him calm down. If he had any hobbies before school, try to develop them at school. Enroll your child in a school club, this will establish useful pastime and relationships with other children with common interests.

Don't ignore his problems, listen to him carefully, don't make fun of him. Talk to him as an equal. He should always be sure that he will not be left without your support. But don't practice intrusive control: it destroys trust and harms relationships. Encourage new acquaintances and always host his friends at home. Rating 5.00 (5 votes)

Hello, my name is Dasha, I’m 15 years old, I’m afraid of going to school. Every day, when I wake up, I almost start crying, because I really don’t want to go to school, even if the subjects are easy that day, it’s still hard for me to go there. I was looking for the reason, since the 6th grade I have been trying to understand what is the matter why I feel so bad. But no matter what I thought, no matter how I tried to fix it, it was all to no avail. I hate everything there, from my classmates to the teachers. Classmates, okay, I don’t care about them, let them say what they want, shout after me what they want, I’m used to it. But teachers are already a very difficult case, there are calm ones who calmly explain you teach this and everything is fine, we have two of them, and there are (almost everyone else) who constantly shout, I behave very quietly, I almost never speak, I never speak I don’t pick it up because I’m terribly afraid that they’ll yell at me for something, it’s happened that they’ll ask if you say it wrong and either start yelling or look at you with a hard look. When they start screaming or the like, my tears involuntarily begin to flow, at this time I try to mentally calm myself down, not to listen, but still. I often cry at night because I have to go to school tomorrow and I don’t want to go there. I start either from nerves, or from a weak immune system, or I subconsciously do everything for the sake of this, in general, I get sick very often, sometimes everything happens for three days and sometimes for weeks, because I get sick, I miss it, I start feeling bad to study, but for me this is unacceptable, my parents are starting to get angry, and I’m scared myself, I’m afraid I won’t pass the State Examination Test... I’m very afraid... It turns out to be such a nice circle. I talked with my parents about the terrible fear of going to school, my mother shrugs her shoulders, says if you can’t stand it, go to college/technical school, but we don’t have suitable ones in our city... Although if I don’t pass English (so in our school it’s like a passing test in 10, you choose this subject and move on) that the probability is 75 percent, then there is no choice, you have to go to college. Dad tried to help, motivated me to study, told me not to pay attention to the teachers, even gave me gifts so that I would have fun but... but to no avail, I come there all inspired, I leave like a spent lemon, plus at home I am squeezed by a 6-hour Homework. My soul is very bad at night free time I start crying, dreaming about that other life without school, and how many different ideas I have! But they are all falling into the abyss, there is no time, no one will let them come true. There are no friends to support. I wanted to end my life, or rather just stop it, but it’s stupid, it’s very stupid, to make an expensive decision because of a building with brooms in it. I do not know what to do...
P.s. Either because of nerves or because of age, but I have terrible acne on my face, the dermatologist didn’t advise me, I didn’t do anything, nothing. I saw the result only once when I went on vacation, about halfway through the acne almost disappeared... I was very surprised =) and glad, but about three days after the end of the vacation they returned... Everything was the same as before. In general, I also became embarrassed to go out...

Session duration is 1 hour 14 minutes.

Boy, 8 years old, Russia (reading was done via Skype).

Q. She has a fear of going to school, of being left there alone without her mother or grandmother. Before school he vomits and cannot eat. This happened when he was in first grade. His mother sat with him at school for some time. What is this connected with? What it is?

A. Despite the fact that he is sociable, finds contact with peers and adults, but just as quickly he comes into conflict with them. On this moment he has no friends with whom he constantly communicates, he quarrels with everyone, the same applies to adults. It is very difficult for him to follow the rules; he constantly tries to change them and adjust them to suit himself, which leads to conflicts. They are difficult to manage. During lessons, the teacher pays a lot of attention to him. There is constant chaos in the classroom, the educational process begins to break down. Stas constantly demands attention. Conflicts arise precisely for this reason. It is very difficult for him to do his homework, he begins to get nervous, he needs to take constant pauses and breaks. Any rules cause internal protest in him. He has no friends, he quarrels and conflicts with children. They constantly scold him, they try to put him in a box, he constantly conflicts with teachers. He is in constant agitation and conflict with everyone. When someone close to you is nearby, the burden of close attention to yourself is not so heavy, it is shifted onto the shoulders of loved ones.

B. He is afraid that he will not be picked up from school, that his grandmother or mother will change plans. What if they go shopping, or some accident happens somewhere, and there is no one to pick it up.

A. Are there children with whom he constantly communicates without conflicts?

B. He has a couple of friends.

A. How often does he receive comments from the teacher who is currently teaching several classes? The teacher constantly monitors him, constantly corrects him, makes comments. I need to ask Stas. There are two of them, but always one.

Q. What does this teacher look like?

A. She is between 35 and 40 years old, slim, short. Neither blonde nor brunette, dark blond, brown-haired.

Q. Is this the one in the new school now?

A. First teacher, first print.

V. Yes, it is similar.

A. The child cannot yet realize this; it is all subconscious. First experience, new stage, new level, transition period, the first step towards responsibility and independence. There was a conflict, a bad experience, there is fear. This is all at the subconscious level. We survived everything, he went through it, but there was still a prick, a splinter. The first class, the first steps, the first perception, the first experience was not very pleasant for both parties. And school is perceived negatively, there is a fear of repeating and making mistakes. The child may not even realize this himself. New stage and the rules to which he must obey. He grew freely, there were no restrictions. He is a free child by nature. There are obedient children, and there are free ones. He once had a lot of freedom, but now he doesn’t. This psychological problem, psychocorrection is needed. He needs to be taken out of this situation. You need to work not only with Stas, but also with your mother and grandmother. We need a child psychologist to help Stas relieve his colossal stress. School causes him stress. All physical manifestations, when he feels bad, cannot eat, spasmodic phenomena, this indicates that he is too stressed. He goes to school extremely reluctantly. And the process itself is problematic for him, and he begins to perfect it in his imagination, to complete the most negative attitude. He doesn’t want to stay there; even before he gets there, he already wants to go back. And he is frightened by the thought that suddenly something will happen and he will have to stay there longer. The problem was based on a conflict, the teacher could not restrain himself, behaved incorrectly towards him, not pedagogically, because he demanded a lot of attention. The entire educational process began to waver, which threw her off balance. We need to remove the negativity he received. He experienced it as a child, did not realize it, but it was imprinted in his subconscious. The situation is standard, there is no need to be afraid of it. Over the course of 3-6 months, it would be recommended to adjust his behavior and attitude towards certain situations. We need to pull this negativity out of him through drawings, descriptions, associations. You can try to do this to you, but you need direct physical contact, as this has a stronger effect. The situation is fixable, and before it grows into further problems like a snowball, it needs to be corrected. Any such splinter begins to grow and grow. And while the situation does not get out of control, while it can be corrected, a small correction is needed, to change his attitude, to change the program. We need to take him to a child psychologist. He needs perseverance and learns to focus on the process, through games and tasks. It is better to do this to a stranger, because the child perceives him differently, he is more focused and involved in the conversation. When it is a close person, the boundaries are erased; when it is a stranger, the boundaries are limited, especially when he is experienced and knowledgeable. Therefore, a specialist is needed. The situation is fixable, not critical. By erasing the negativity and changing your attitude towards it, you can get rid of problems quite easily. This is related to the physical and emotional state. There will be no vomiting, there will be no fear of school. There is no need to panic.

Q. Is the new teacher suitable for him?

Oh yeah. She is older, more experienced, a good teacher, of a different caliber than the previous one. But the problem is not with the teachers, the problem is with the child himself. No matter what school there is, he will always be surrounded different people. As we get older, there will be more teachers. There will also be more claims from everyone. Each teacher has a certain energy, a certain character and even style. It is important to learn how to quickly adapt to situations and perceive them correctly. It's at the beginning long journey educational process, so correct adjustments are important.

Q. What adjustments do grandma and mom need to make, what do they need to understand?

A. More persistence and demands on him; the boundaries between him and his grandmother and mother have been erased. He often dictates terms, although he is still a child. Sometimes they even change positions, telling their mother and grandmother what to do. The child must feel the limits of what is possible and what is not, and strictly complete what he starts. But do not break down, speak in a demanding and calm tone, without succumbing to provocations. This requires a lot of patience. Any process will take much longer. But whatever he has to do now, he has to do. This awareness must come through the correct attitude towards him on the part of loved ones. There must be a daily routine that must be followed at all times. What time to go to bed, what time to get up, there should be time for games and lessons. Everything must be thought out. There must be rules, and they must be established. He is a free child, he lives at the level of “I want it or I don’t want it.” Children at this age are unconscious, he cannot calculate the correctness or incorrectness of his actions, he is unconscious, unlike adults. Adults understand, children do not, so they need to be constantly corrected. They cannot be limited, but there must be exactingness, he must understand that every action has consequences. If something is violated, the consequences are irreversible. Independence means that the child must be aware of his area of ​​responsibility. Even when he does not get the expected result, one cannot categorically say no. Need to select Right words. I can’t now, but then. You cannot deprive a child of hope. There must be soft, non-categorical approaches, explaining why it is not possible now, and then it will be possible. Then it will be easier to negotiate with the child. You need direct personal contact with a specialist.

Q. How can Stas be configured correctly? What settings should a psychologist give, what should a mother or grandmother say?

A. You need to unnoticed by him to bring the problem out into the open, where it ultimately lies. This is a psychological problem, a wrong perception. It's based on conflict. Describe or draw how he feels, maybe even say it. What and in what form does the problem result? Why is he afraid that they won’t take him away, and if they don’t take him away, as he sees it, what will happen next. We need to see this through to the end. Ask questions and give him the opportunity to answer himself. In the process of building a conversation, an experienced specialist will lead him to the point that he himself will identify and voice not only the problem itself, but also its solution. The child should always be given the opportunity to find the answer himself and think. This is the first step towards conscious actions. If you do it, you must know for what, why and why, how it can end. What's next, what do you think? If for some reason your mom was late and didn’t pick you up on time, what scares you at school? He voices what he is afraid of. What do you think, how can you get out of this situation, what can you do? With such leading questions, he himself will cope with the internal problem. I understood and I decided. I understood and now I am not afraid. We are afraid of what we do not know, even adults. Fear of the unknown. Just going to school is stressful and scary for him, even if he doesn’t realize it, but it’s there. This needs to be brought out, spoken about. Bring him to the point where he himself can say what needs to be done in this case and how to act.

Q. Will he cope with this problem?

A. This is a task not only for him, but also for his loved ones. They will all have to deal with this together. And it will be useful for everyone. He will be able to join the team and interact with other people. By nature he is sociable and sociable. There will be no problems with this. This is a new stage in his life, it is difficult. School is stressful for a child. Everything is different, everything is different when they constantly demand something from him. We are all very different. There are established stereotypes, but in essence we are all different, we react to everything differently. Therefore, there is no need to be scared when they say that my child is not like everyone else. There is no identical approach in perception. It’s easier for some, easier for others, we’re all different. With desire and the right approach, any problem can be solved. It is important for him to correctly perceive everything that happens to him around him and react to it correctly. Learn to control yourself, analyze, draw conclusions. All this is quite possible and real. You just need to make an effort. In the future, we will have to improve what was once left unfinished. This is especially acute in raising children. This is a test, not an easy task that requires effort, patience, wisdom and knowledge. Not only do we teach children, but children also teach us. To some extent, they are also teachers for us. Looking at them, we change, they force us to change, to see further, wider and deeper. This is a general problem that is quite possible to cope with, it is not so serious and deep, not so complex, it can be solved.

B. He studies well. Maybe Vera is to blame for something that this is happening to him?

A. Any fears are passed on to loved ones. And children especially feel the fears of their parents and loved ones. Mother and child are energetically connected and are in the same field. The more the mother worries, the more the child will react to it. Fears are based on ignorance. The more understanding there is of the essence of the process, the less fear there will be. Sometimes you need to be philosophical about problems that cannot be solved at the moment. You need to think, calm down, and plan to solve problems. There must be a calm and even attitude towards her. The less fears mother and grandmother have, the calmer Stas will be. Voice your problems and fears less. You cannot completely isolate your child from problems. They can be voiced, but in a form accessible to the child, so that he understands that now not everything is good, so he needs to act this way and that way. But the child should not hear and see everything. If a mother is not sure about something, if a mother doubts herself, then the feeling of protection disappears. The child should feel confidence, kindness, love and a strong, kind mother who knows and can do everything. This is how he should perceive his parents. He must respect his mother and grandmother, because they are older, they are close, they know more. This needs to be put into it.

Q. Is there damage or an evil eye on it?

A. There was and still is a lot of envy. It is not directed at him, but since it acts in his field, it is also reflected on him. It’s not specifically visible, but there is an evil eye and envy on those close to you.

Q. On whom specifically?

O. On my grandmother.

Q. From whom?

A. A wide range of people. Resentment from close circle, relatives. That the more you help, the more they demand, you helped a hundred times, refused once, and that’s all, sharp negativity. This is the attitude towards grandma. There is also negativity from people with whom I once had to work and collaborate. There was mutual distrust. Not so much on my mother, but on my grandmother.

Q. Is there any way to remove this?

A. We are all in a certain environment, we are immersed in it, we have to interact. There is a constant, inevitable exchange of energy with acquaintances and even strangers, it’s like garbage. Just as we cleanse the physical body, we also need to cleanse the more subtle and invisible essence. You need to make an effort so that your own biological protection was dense and large. Adequate rest, sufficient amount of water in the body. Cell dehydration must be avoided. IN modern conditions and ecology, great amount electronic devices, this greatly destroys everything. You need to constantly adjust your biological shell. There must be a sufficient amount of oxygen, adequate breathing so that oxygen is delivered to the cells, physical activity 2 hours 2 times a week. Give kindness to those people who need it, help. All actions and emotions must be based on love and gratitude, they must be projected. This way the program is removed from the negative. Contrasting cold and hot showers, grounding, prayers and going to church heals and cleanses not only the body, but also the soul. There are people who are able to influence energy fields, align and correct them. But without personal effort, everything will come back to where you started. You must have your own job.

Q. Could this envy and evil eye come from my mother’s cousin?

O. Maybe. The strongest impact comes from people from whom you don’t expect this; from them the negativity has great damaging power. Because there is an energetic affinity.

Q. In the last reading they said that at the age of 20-23 Stas will have problems. What kind of problems will he have?

O. A new stage of independence. He will always strive for independence, to quickly become independent, to break out from under care. First steps towards independence. There will be an attempt to take more than it can carry. There will be problems with studies, which will be interrupted due to the fact that he will change something. There will be a problem of formation, he will try to organize his own business. He studies, then drops out and starts to start something. Problems of formation. Doesn't listen to anyone, does what he thinks is necessary. Not everything is going smoothly. There will be a break in his studies, then he will study again. Associated with learning and development. An attempt to prove oneself, to become independent.

Q. Will there be any consequences for the family, for himself? Will he get away with a psychological breakdown, or will there be something serious?

A. Everything will depend on the adequacy of his loved ones, to what extent they will give him the opportunity to do something on his own. Everything must be adequate. Parents are experienced, smart and knowledgeable. You can not just step aside, but take the position of an observer. “As a parent, I gave you everything I could give. You want independence. Everyone has the right to make mistakes and go their own way. Since a child decides to be independent, then please be independent and solve your own problems as much as possible. I can help with this, but I’m sorry, but that’s all you can count on. Because if you fail, you will not only drown yourself, but also drown us. Learn from your mistakes, so try.”

B. Which one should he? better profession choose?

O. Trade and monetary relations, marketing, management. It needs to be developed in the field of economics.

Q. How will his family life turn out?

A. He will have children. He will be very careful about marriage and will not rush into it. First there will be open relationship, like a civil marriage, and then an official one. Everything will be gradual and long. Everyone already close to him will say that it’s time to make a decision, to push him on. Not alone, but at the same time he won’t marry for a long time. He will calculate and be careful. He will marry once, but will think for a very long time. IN personal life everything will be smooth for him.

Q. Will he have any children?

Q. Will my grandmother live to see her great-grandchildren?

A. With the right attitude, you can live a very long time and see your great-grandchildren. We must strive for this.

Q. How can she get in the right mood?

ABOUT. Healthy image life, healthy thoughts, positive. The fewer bindings, the freer. The freer, the easier. The easier it is, the more correct it is. If there are material losses, you need to treat them calmly and calmly. This is all solvable. Problems need to be solved as they arise. In case of problems, make a plan A, B, C. Insure yourself, calculate everything strategically, and live calmly and enjoy every minute of this life. Thank the Universe and God for everything he has and for all the people he loves. This attitude is the most correct and healthy. It gives confidence in today and tomorrow. The less the internal pendulum swings, the longer life path. It's actually not difficult. It seems that it is scary to lose something. In fact, the worst thing is losing the people we love. Everything else is solvable problems. You need to understand why you live, with what thoughts. With our thoughts we create not only our reality, but also the existence of our loved ones. The cleaner and calmer and more positive it will be inner mood for everyone, the better quality of life will be.

Q. Is it better for grandma to live with her mother and Stas or separately?

A. Three generations under one roof. You need to feel your own feelings. Previously, in all countries and religions, it was common for several generations to live under one roof, learn from each other, and pass on experience. It's simpler and easier. But times change, circumstances change. In some situations this is convenient, in others it is not. It’s difficult to say unequivocally which is better. It should be comfortable for everyone who is under one roof. There should not be a feeling of discomfort that I am in the way, that I am being disturbed. It would be more correct to live separately, but not far away.

Q. How many children will Stas have?

Q. Boys or girls?

A. The children will be of different sexes, there will be both a boy and a girl. First there will be a girl, and then there will be a boy.

If you notice a spelling error, please highlight it with your mouse and press Ctrl+Enter.