Betrayed once, betrayed again. Forgive? Easily. Just close the doors to the house forever from such a person. He will ask for help: please, there is no refusal, but never ask him for help, he will reproach him more than once later, even with crumbs from the table. A person is not a creature that undergoes correction. He was born that way. In moments of weakness and difficult moments, his whole essence is revealed, what he really is, his whole true “I” breaks out, such a mask is formed that you yourself do not believe your eyes and ears.
How to ask for forgiveness for an insult
For many people, this is a really difficult step. Counts. human. who is the first to make an attempt at reconciliation is weak. “An apology in itself is not shameful or humiliating,” Irina Ryabova, the system constellator, reassures. “We just ask for forgiveness for a specific act and at the same time maintain respect for ourselves as a whole.”
To find the strength for a frank conversation. it is important to accept the fact. that by our behavior we have greatly offended another person.
How to ask for forgiveness from a guy if you are really to blame?
Sometimes, in a fit of emotions or under the influence of a bad mood, we are able to undeservedly offend a loved one. One recklessly thrown out word or thoughtless act can cause a quarrel in which it is you who are to blame. Of course, there is nothing extraordinary in such a situation - because this can happen to anyone. Another thing is how to adequately solve this problem without spoiling the relationship.
The only correct way out in this case is to admit your guilt and ask for forgiveness.
How to apologize to your wife?
“”, - such questions happen to be asked to me by my clients. Working as a family psychologist and faced with a husband’s guilt, I concluded that it happens that wives have forgiven for a long time, have already forgotten about any misconduct of their husband, and the husband continues to worry about this and this leads to strained relationships and difficulties in communication.
And it also happens that the wife herself in these circumstances did not even see the reason for her resentment! After all, indeed, there are very wise women who understand that “Life is to pass, not to cross the field.
How to ask for forgiveness
People are excellent specialists who know how to inflict strong insults on each other. But when the need arises for an apology, many resort to the help of outsiders, because they themselves cannot do it right. Expert advice can come to the rescue in this situation, which will help mitigate the insult, as well as get rid of the consequences of moral harm to both a loved one and a practically unfamiliar person.
How to ask for forgiveness from a loved one
Each person voluntarily and unwittingly inflicts insults on others. Often, minor disappointments develop into serious resentment, which is difficult to tear out of the heart. Many people find it humiliating to admit their mistakes to anyone. This is especially true for women. It is especially difficult for a lady to apologize to a man. This is humiliating, and there is an opinion among the people that a woman is always right.
If a man often suffers from the "prickly nature" of his beloved, the lady must learn to eliminate conflicts and quarrels.
How to ask for forgiveness from a woman?
A person is not perfect, which means that he very often has to correct mistakes. A man, with his characteristic harshness in his actions, is able to offend a woman inadvertently, for which he then pays with a healthy atmosphere in a relationship. How to ask for forgiveness from a friend, wanting to correct what has been done?
First of all, it is necessary to understand the causes of resentment. Women's consciousness is much more complex than men's.
How to apologize to a girl
Surely, no one will argue with the fact that every couple at least once in their life, and even went through a quarrel. And in itself, this fact is not at all terrible - after all, according to psychologists, loving man and the woman quarrel when their relationship is still dear to them. It is much worse when people become infected with indifference to each other - that's when the couple, in most cases, breaks up.
In this article, we will try to figure out what to do to a guy who is guilty of a quarrel with a girl offended by him and answer the question - how to ask for forgiveness so as not to aggravate the situation. So let's get started.
So, for example, a girl may not get enough attention from a guy.
Question to the psychologist:
Hello!
I had a friend in college. We talked at the university, crossed paths in companies and helped each other in our studies. This is a young man about whom everyone says that he is an exceptionally positive guy. And at first it attracted me too - who doesn't like a person you can rely on? Then it so happened that I helped him get a job in his specialty, where I already worked myself (I recommended taking him to a more profitable department). But then, getting to know him better, I realized that we had completely different interests, and this person is very boring for me (he has no hobbies, he doesn’t read books, he doesn’t play sports, he’s not interested in traveling, he doesn’t have any particular ambitions etc. - as a result, it turned out that only I had to tell something, and in response I did not receive any information.In general, no matter how I tried, common themes there was very little to talk about). As a result, my attitude towards him worsened and we often quarreled, and then did not communicate for a long time (and more often on my initiative). So we finished our last two courses at the university. On top of that, all the friends around him thought he had romantic feelings for me (although I'm still sure he didn't), which annoyed me even more. In general, our relationship was on a sinusoid - then everything is fine, then something boils again for me and will result in another quarrel.
Of course, I tried to improve my attitude towards a person who did not do anything bad to me, but, on the contrary, treated me kindly. But then it was difficult for me to rebuild myself, because. he behaved not like a man and not always in a friendly way in my understanding: starting from holding doors, ending with shifting responsibility in some situations and silence at those moments when I would have already climbed into battle to stand up for a friend (just a person is on good terms with everyone, good and positive for everyone, phlegmatic and will never go into conflict in order to stand up for someone, because of which, you may have to spoil relations).
And then it turned out that my very good friend at work began to communicate with him in a friendly way (to some extent, I brought them together). As a result, he ended up in my company again. That is, joint gatherings, trips to lunch, and so on - and he is everywhere. Actually, it didn't improve our relations either. And the most disgusting thing is that I couldn’t understand why he annoys me so much at times that I can’t look at him. Of course, he could not help but feel my attitude and did not understand the reason. And he made jokes with his sharp remarks.
Then, at work, I had a chance to move to a new position that was interesting to me, in which girls had not been hired at all before. I agreed, and it turned out that with this friend of mine we became partners. That is, all the work - in half. We go on business trips together, on business trips we live in the same apartment. After that (and indeed, I myself had already largely changed my point of view, became softer), my attitude began to improve until conflicts at work began to appear, consisting in different views on how the workflow should be organized. He again tried at some moments to shift the responsibility onto me, some unimaginable pettiness and vindictiveness crawled out. I must say that I am stronger in character, more assertive and quick-tempered, and even with all this baggage, conflicts were inevitable. But I did not give up trying to improve relations, trying to respond more gently to all sorts of situations and let them go on the brakes. Plus, we still crossed paths in the company that a friend (she is 27 years old) gathered from work and who is very friendly to this guy, saying that in all these situations he is just still a child.
Actually, now I got to the point. At work, I urgently needed one document from him, and he was busy with his work. I was in a good mood (my inner Child was playing at full speed), I went up to him and asked for this document. He said later. I began, fooling around, rocking his chair, saying "Give me a document, give me a document, a document ..." and then I heard "Leave me alone", said in obscene language. To say it stunned me is an understatement. I just rushed. She said that if he does this again, then I can’t vouch for myself. There were always male friends in my circle of friends, and with everyone there were different relationships, and some I could bring worse than a simple and short rocking of a chair. But no one has ever cursed at me (for me, this is almost the same as raising a hand against a woman - and the Code of Administrative Offenses also imposes a fine for insulting a person, even if this remains mostly only on paper). The next day I asked if he was going to apologize, to which they told me that I asked for it myself and he was absolutely right. Like, how else was he supposed to tell me? (But there are a million ways, one of which is "In 5 minutes"). He offended me and I wanted to hurt him in return. But after 5 minutes I came up, apologized, and then for a few more days I thought and worried about how disgusting and disgusting I acted and what kind of right I had. And now he tells me that a year ago there was a situation when I cursed at him, but he didn’t say anything, because. I thought that the working moment happens, so he will apologize only when I myself apologize for this situation. But I don't even remember it! Perhaps he didn’t hear it at all, especially since there were a lot of people there and no one told me anything. What I told him about and cited another situation as an example, in which I immediately apologized. And they don't apologize in exchange for something. When I said that he offended me, I heard that I asked for it myself. Then our friend talked to him (I didn’t ask her about this), who said that he was still just a child (at 23!), But there was no apology, and we didn’t talk for a long time. But then he began to take revenge on me at work and, in general, everything became much worse.
Then I went to the service of mercy, did some rethinking after the words of the priest, and again began to talk to him. Asked if he wanted to know what the situation looked like from my side, but heard "Not really." We again crossed paths in the company of a friend from work and in appearance everything is fine. Sometimes we also have conflicts at work. But of course, I can’t communicate in full force with a person without looking back at the past (well, I definitely can’t fool around and joke). For all my cockroaches, this was a person I trusted a lot and who hit me so hard. 2 months after that incident, my DR was and I told him that I would not call him, to which I heard in response "I guessed." And, in the end, after my DR, he now actively invites all our mutual friends to all sorts of gatherings (including from work), gathers a company and does not invite me there. I mean, we're like, right now, just colleagues and friends of mutual friends. And yet, due to the fact that my friend from work and her young man are actively friends with him, we, in addition to business trips and sitting in the same office, often have to communicate outside of work. And this whole situation pisses me off. At work, I’m thinking of trying to change my partner (which can be successful with a 50/50 probability), and in the company of friends I want to be relaxed, but this will not work out 100%. And I think - should I still start a conversation about this situation and explain that I feel that not so much an apology is important to me, but a promise that this will never happen again in the future, or just endure (although 4 months have passed, but I still have this resentment)? I understand that it’s time to say “For what I fought, I ran into it” (not in terms of the situation, but in terms of my bad attitude for all this time with subconscious provocations and attempts to pull out the bad sides of this " positive person"out), but I, with all my barbs, never behaved meanly towards him. In general, in fact, I feel very sorry for myself in this whole story, I feel sorry for my deceived trust and I want to get it out of my head, but I can't, and it's a pity that I didn't slap him in the face in response - maybe then it would be easier now.
The psychologist Lyashenko Viktor Vladimirovich answers the question.
Hello Elizabeth.
I will go straight to your text and comment on it. I will have more questions for you, perhaps they will help you clarify something for yourself. Don't be offended.
You seem to understand that you have been provoking this guy for a long time, showing disrespect to him, “taunting”, etc. But you find an excuse for yourself, and this is what prevents you from seeing the situation in volume, and not just “from your own bell tower”.
- “As a result, it turned out that only I had to tell something, and in response I did not receive any information. In general, no matter how I tried, there were very few common topics for conversation. As a result, my attitude towards him worsened and we began to quarrel often ... In addition to this, all my friends around thought that he had romantic feelings for me (although I'm still sure that there was nothing like that), which annoyed me even more ". - There is a certain compulsion, as if you had to tell something. Why did you need it? Why did you try anything? What was your interest in communicating with him in general? It seems that from the very beginning he owed you something, you always expected or wanted something from him. What and why? And the fact that he did not meet some of your expectations prompted you to quarrel with him ...
- "Of course, I tried to improve my attitude towards a person who did not do anything bad to me, but, on the contrary, treated me kindly" - Why did you communicate with someone who was not interesting to you at all? It turns out that you, not having figured out why you are communicating with a person, put him in the obligation to meet your expectations, tolerate a discrepancy, and then begin to bully him ...
“In the end, he ended up in my company again. That is, joint gatherings, trips to lunch, and so on - and everywhere he is ”- again the same question: how is it that you don’t decide with whom you will communicate and with whom not? Who determines who is YOUR company?
- “And the most disgusting thing is that I couldn’t understand why he annoys me so much at times that I can’t look at him” - good question. What is the reason for your irritation? It is always evidence of some inconsistency with how, in your opinion, "should be." What was wrong with this guy? And why did he actually have to comply with this? How did it happen that he owed you something?
- “Of course, he could not help but feel my attitude and did not understand what was the reason. And he made sarcastic remarks into jokes, ”pay attention to this. He endured your disrespect for a long time ...
- “some unimaginable pettiness and vindictiveness got out” - probably, he already had reasons for revenge? And these occasions were supplied to him by you ...
- “I did not stop trying to improve relations, trying to react more gently to all sorts of situations and let them go on the brakes” - Trying to react softer and let go on the brakes - is this the way to improve relations?
- “and some I could bring worse than a simple and short rocking of a chair. But no one has ever cussed at me ... ”- that is, you are used to the fact that you get away with disrespect, and were not ready for the fact that someone would answer you in an equivalent way?
“The next day I asked if he was going to apologize, to which they told me that I asked for it myself and he was absolutely right. Like, how else was he supposed to tell me? (But there are a million ways, one of which is "In 5 minutes")" - Do I understand correctly that you are justifying yourself? Was he supposed to enter into your position, to understand you? And you do not need to enter into his position and understand him? In connection with what do you have it so?
- “Once there was a situation (six months before) when I myself answered him with obscene language, but it was on emotions, tk. he offended me and I wanted to hurt him in return” - Are you justifying yourself here too? If you are on emotions, and “he is to blame”, then is this permissible? And if he is on emotions, then again he is to blame? And the fact that you could hurt him - you don’t take it into account?
- “But after 5 minutes I came up and apologized” - If you apologized, then it was like it never happened?
- “and then for a few more days I thought and worried about how disgusting and disgusting I acted and what right I had at all” - If you worried and thought, then this should matter to someone else? For whom did you think: for him or for yourself?
- “And now he tells me that a year ago there was a situation when I cursed at him, but he didn’t say anything, because. I thought that the working moment happens, so he will apologize only when I myself apologize for this situation. But I don't even remember her! - It turns out that you insulted him, and did not notice it yourself? Or has it become such a habit for you and in the order of things that you did not pay attention to it?
- “When I said that he offended me, I heard that I asked for it myself” - Aren't you interested in what this situation meant to him? There is only one truth - the truth of your feelings? And the truth of the feelings of this guy does not exist? Did it ever occur to you that your “inner child”, for whom you will certainly find excuses (after all, you didn’t want anything bad, so this justifies you?) could seriously offend his “inner child”?
- "But then he began to take revenge on me at work and, in general, everything became much worse" - Probably, on his part, there was something to take revenge on you for, what do you think? Probably, you nevertheless hurt him in such a way that aroused a desire for revenge?
- “I asked if he wanted to know how the situation looks from my side, but I heard “Not really”” - Quite logical. After all, you are not interested in how the situation looks from his side, right? All this time, you were looking at the situation only from your side, and insisted that he look at it the same way as you. And why should he? After all, you don’t find any reason for yourself to look from his side ... Nobody wants to be guilty, not only you. And it's not just you that gets hurt and hurt.
- “For all my cockroaches, this was a person whom I trusted very much and who hit me so hard” - Imagine that you endured disrespect from someone for a long time, and then your patience snapped and you allowed yourself to hit back ... Who, from your personal point of view, will be right in this situation, and who will not?
- “And I think - should I still start a conversation about this situation and explain that I feel that not so much an apology is important to me, but a promise that this will never happen again in the future, or just endure (although 4 months, but I still have this resentment)?” - Elizabeth, you are unlikely to succeed until you admit that not only you have feelings, and that not only you need assurances that “the future will never happen again”.
Rating 5.00 (2 votes)Who among us has not been offended in life? They criticized, did not appreciate, did not understand, did not hear ... And then there is an insult that sits in the heart like a splinter. How to get rid of it? How to forgive an offense? How to forget caustic words addressed to you? How to survive the betrayal of a friend? This article will teach you.
Resentment as a means of manipulation
Some psychologists say that resentment is a way to get what you want. This is especially true for close relatives. The wife, trying to teach a lesson to her late husband, pouts her lips and "takes a vow of silence." The husband accuses his wife of being unable to manage the household, hinting at constant meetings with girlfriends. Why do adults have such a need to offend? loved one for private purposes?
Psychologists say that all this comes from childhood. A child who likes a toy cries and begs for it from their parents. The little manipulator knows it's bad. Parents also know this, but they still buy the 25th doll or car. It is impossible to look at the tears of your baby without pity. We often use this method of manipulating others later in life. adult life. True, he works more often with close relationships.
Why does a person offend another?
What is the main reason why one individual offends another? We are often offended and do not think about it at all. But humiliation and verbal insults against us are often a disguised compliment on the part of our opponents.
Envy, unfortunately, is inherent in many people. Not many will praise a person who has achieved any heights. But there will always be those who will scold him and blaspheme. By doing his vile deed against us, the offender gains a sense of his own importance. He "grows" in his own eyes. Moreover, the more his words affect us, the more joy and satisfaction it will bring to him. So why indulge him? Let's smile back at him and say nice words. We are concerned about the question of how to forgive an offense? Sometimes, in order to do this, it is enough to understand why we are humiliated and insulted.
Consequences of resentment
Perhaps many people find it difficult at times to forgive their enemies. Many people think: “Why should I forget the offense? My enemy will be happy if he does not suffer the deserved punishment for this. Learning to forgive is necessary for oneself, to preserve one's health. To understand this, just look at the following list of potential problems that can arise if you constantly replay an unpleasant situation in your head:
Decreased immunity;
thyroid problems;
Depression;
Diseases of the cardiovascular system;
Oncology;
Mental disorders;
Migraines, headaches.
At first glance, the connection between the occurrence of these ailments and the mood of a person seems unrealistic. But it is worth imagining what is happening inside the offended person in order to understand this. For example, a person was rude on the bus, fired from work for no reason, insulted ... What do most of us do in this case? Some are taken to take revenge, someone - to drink "bitter", someone becomes isolated in himself. But many of us will swallow the hurt and move on with our lives. Only here is the insult, the tension from it has not gone away. Negativity accumulates in our body. This will continue until the negative energy finds an outlet. And the way out here can be severe depression, and a nervous breakdown, and a complex illness, and so on. So why accumulate resentment in yourself? We need to learn how to neutralize them. How to forgive an offense and let it go will be discussed later.
How to remain calm in response to criticism?
A person sometimes with indignation perceives teachings from another person. And what can we say about the offensive words that he hears from others? Remaining calm in response to criticism is often very difficult. Of course, it is good to remain cool and unflappable in any situation. But how to curb your emotions when necessary? There are a few tips to help you do this:
Don't answer the offender right away. In anger, you can say a lot of things that you will later regret.
And then the question of how to save the situation, and not how to forgive insults, will come to the fore for you. The past cannot be returned. An unpleasant aftertaste from a quarrel will remain not only with your opponent, but also with you. Cool down and analyze the opponent's words. And only then parry.
Deceive the offender in his expectations. Konstantin Kushner, a Russian historian and educator, said: "If you are offended, the enemy has succeeded." Know that the main goal of the opponent is to hurt you to the quick. So why should he give this pleasure? Smile and forgive him.
During an argument, ask the abuser, "What can I do to make things right?" Is he confused and unable to answer? So he has personal reasons to talk bad about you. Such criticism cannot be fair.
The genius Erian Schultz said: “To be offended by bad words addressed to you is to agree with them.” This simple phrase explains everything. Do you consider yourself to be what your enemies are trying to make you look like? Of course not. But there is no point in proving them otherwise. It is better to step aside, leaving their words unheeded.
Do you want to know how to learn to forgive insults? Justify your opponents. Try to put yourself in their place and understand why they do it. Everything is simpler than it seems at first glance. Nature created one so angry, the second was offended today, and he shouted at you in the heat of the moment, the third has an unlucky day today, everything falls out of his hands, and he decided to “send everything to hell”, having quarreled with everyone, including you . Justified? Has it become easier? All that remained in my heart was pity for these poor fellows.
Live in the present. You need to forgive the offense in time, let go of the past and continue to go on your way. Focusing on quarrels with others will not lead to good.
The main thing is the inner core!
Only strong-willed people can remain calm in response to criticism and not be offended by insults and slander. We often worry about the bad things we hear about ourselves. It doesn't matter if they said them to our eyes or behind our backs. But if we know that we have done nothing wrong, then why are we worried? The main thing is the confidence that we are right, that we are doing the right thing, that the truth is on our side. This conviction gives us calmness, firmness, determination. The inner core will not allow us to bend before offensive insults and slander. And we will not have questions about how to forgive an offense and let go of the past, how to forget insults addressed to us, how to improve relations after a quarrel.
Exercise number 1 - revenge on the offender
Learning to forgive is not easy. Getting over yourself is sometimes difficult. Special exercises will help to do this, for example, such as "imaginary revenge on the offender." It consists in the following:
Exercise number 2 - forgiveness
Psychologists say that thoughts and words are material. By managing them, you can easily change your life as in positive side, as well as negative. And if positive thoughts and words carry a creative energy, then negative ones produce a destructive effect. This knowledge will help us answer the main question that concerns us: "How to forgive an offense, finding peace and joy?" It is recommended to perform this exercise for 5-15 minutes a day. It is best to do this with a partner, but you can do it alone. It consists in the following:
- Take a comfortable position.
- Loudly and emotionally repeat several times, mentally addressing your offender: “You are good, cheerful, kind ... I forgive you for the fact that ...”.
- After releasing the resentment, tell yourself this: "I forgive myself for ...".
Three ways not to be offended
- Only truly strong and great people have self-control. Anyone can be offended, but only a select few can forgive. No wonder Socrates said: "To be offended is beneath the dignity of a person." And why are we worse than a great philosopher? Let's learn to forgive.
- Let's replace resentment with pity. For example, our soulmate spoke sharply about some of our personal qualities: the husband said that his wife was a bad cook, the wife "broke her husband's brain" about small earnings, and so on. Now we are overwhelmed by the thought of how to forgive an offense to a loved one. Let's just take pity on the poor guy. After all, a person offends when he is in a state of anger, frustration or a bad mood. And all this adversely affects his health. It's already not easy for the offender.
- You can try to find out why people offend us. A heart-to-heart conversation will help resolve an unpleasant situation.
The main thing is not to keep
Not everyone understands why we should learn how to forget the offense and forgive. But, as we have already found out, experiencing negative emotions is unhealthy. And resentment, anger, grief - these are perhaps the most negatively colored feelings. In our civilized society, it is not customary to openly express your emotions, especially negative ones. Therefore, many people, swallowing resentment, try to pretend that nothing happened. But experiences do not give them rest. Over time, the unpleasant situation is erased from memory, but the sediment on the soul from it still remains.
What to do in this case? release on time negative emotions outside so that they do not have time to harm our physical and mental health. You need to do this when you are at home alone. Otherwise, you can unpleasantly shock your household. You can break several plates on the floor, knock your fists on the pillow, imagining your offender in its place. You can just scream loudly at home when you are alone. It takes only a few minutes. But you will see how easy it will be for you after that. The world will no longer seem so dark and cruel, the offender - rude and heartless, and those around you - indifferent and ruthless.
Religion for Forgiveness
There are words in the Bible about loving your enemies and thanking them for the evil deeds they do. Christian preachers teach that the one who strikes on the cheek should also offer the other cheek for the blow, and the one who takes away the outer clothing should also give the shirt. At first glance it seems that these sayings are reckless. How can one not resist blows and thank one's enemies for beatings? But it seems nonsense only at first glance. It is important for a person to learn to forgive others in order to preserve their own health. An offended, upset, angry person is in a state of tension, constantly scrolling through the details of a quarrel and possible ways revenge. Negative thoughts deprive him of the joy of being. Having forgiven his offenders, he finds peace and tranquility. No more pain and suffering. You can move on and do good deeds. Life is already too short to waste it on such trifles as scandals and quarrels.
Why think about how to forgive an offense? Mother and father should not be offended at all. These are the people whose love for children is immeasurable. As for the enemies, here many people may have such questions: “Why should I forgive my enemy? Why do him good? Because he doesn't deserve it." There is a wonderful passage in the Bible that says, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, then give him a drink: for by doing this you are heaping burning coals on his head.” These words have a deep meaning. You cannot defeat evil with evil. Bad things can only be eradicated with good. And then, who knows, maybe your worst enemy will become yours. best friend. No wonder they say: "From hate to love - only one step." The Bible will tell you the answer to the question of how to learn to forgive offenses. Try to be a true Christian and follow all the commandments set forth in it. Then in your life there will be no place for resentment, hatred, revenge.
Prayer for forgiveness of enemies
When it becomes especially difficult for us, we turn to God for help. And it is not at all necessary to know certain prayers here. You can express in your own words what lies like a stone on our soul, and ask the Almighty for salvation. The answer to the question of how to forgive and let go is clear. We need to open and read the Bible more often, follow the commandments given in it. The Lord teaches us that we need to love our neighbor as ourselves, no matter what, that we should forgive our enemies, no matter what offense they may inflict on us. This is necessary, first of all, to the most offended.
And a prayer with which you can turn to God can be like this:
“Lord, our father, I ask you, give me the strength to forgive the people who offended me. You, the Merciful, taught us: “Love your enemies. Bless all who curse you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend and persecute you." Give me the strength of my soul to forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Help me to reconcile with those who offended me in my soul. Let me find the joy of forgiveness."
You need to repeat this every day. And then you will no longer have questions about how to forgive the offense. Prayer saves from empty experiences and anxiety.
How to forgive a loved one and let go?
How many tears are shed when love leaves! It is very difficult after this to forget the betrayal of the second half and start life anew. It is especially hard for women in such situations.
These tips will teach them how to forgive a man for an offense, let him go and start life from scratch:
Give him all his things, remove all joint photos so that nothing reminds you of him;
Take a two-week vacation and fly to warm countries to relax;
Try not to isolate yourself, go to the cinema, cafes, clubs, somewhere where there are a lot of people, where life is in full swing;
Call your best friend for help, talk to her, cry, you will immediately feel better;
Write on a piece of paper all the shortcomings of your former lover, remembering all the bad things that are associated with him, tear the sheet and mentally say goodbye to this "scoundrel".
Aphorisms of famous people about forgiveness
To be offended is common to all people. It is curious what famous people say about this negative feeling.
Oscar Wilde: The best way piss off your enemies - forgive them.
Thomas Sas: Stupid man He neither forgets nor forgives, the naive both forgets and forgives, the intelligent forgives but does not forget.
William Blake: "It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend."
Johann Schiller: "Forgiveness is stronger than all victories."
Gilbert Chesterton: "A haughty apology is another insult."
Henri de Monterlant: “There are people to whom we forgive everything, and there are people to whom we do not forgive anything. Those to whom we do not forgive anything are our friends.”
Jean Paul: "A person is beautiful when he forgives himself or asks for forgiveness from another."
George Halifax: "Conscience and memory always diverge as to whether wrongs should be forgiven."
We found out the reasons why some people try to humiliate and insult others, and also looked at several ways to forgive an insult.
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question:
Insult - administrative responsibility Article 5.61
To the Russian Federation about AP.
The case of insult is initiated by the prosecutor, so contact the prosecutor's office.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Contact the prosecutor's office with a record or with testimony.
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Is harassment in the workplace punishable and how?
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Hello. Insult in itself is an administrative offense, for which administrative liability in the form of a fine is applied. Call if you need help.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Insult by general rule is not a basis for bringing an employee to disciplinary responsibility, since this is not related to the labor function.
But there are exceptions, such as education.
At the same time, it should be borne in mind that insult is currently an administrative offense, and not a crime, as it was 2 years ago.
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What actions should be taken in case of personal insult in the workplace (salesperson)?…
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
If there are no witnesses, then nothing should be done. Record it on video next time.
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Please tell me under what article does an insult in the workplace fall under, indicating social status and a direct threat ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Article 5.61. Insult
[Russian Code of Administrative Offenses] [Chapter 5] [Article 5.61]
1. Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of one thousand to three thousand roubles; for officials - from ten thousand to thirty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from fifty thousand to one hundred thousand rubles.
Article 119
[Criminal Code of the Russian Federation] [Chapter 16] [Article 119]
1. Threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm, if there were grounds to fear the implementation of this threat, –
punished compulsory works for a term of up to four hundred and eighty hours, or by restraint of liberty for a term of up to two years, or by forced labor for a term of up to two years, or by arrest for a term of up to six months, or by deprivation of liberty for a term of up to two years.
2. The same act, committed on the grounds of political, ideological, racial, national or religious hatred or enmity, or on the grounds of hatred or hostility towards any social group, -
shall be punished by compulsory labor for a term up to five years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term up to three years or without it, or imprisonment for a term up to five years with deprivation of the right to occupy certain positions or engage in certain activities for a term up to three years, or without one.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
This is an administrative offense of article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Specific wording is needed. Maybe there is no insult in the form of an administrative offense. There is also Art. 152 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
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At the workplace, I use personal e-mail to transfer workflow. Corporate does not work. Director…
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Irina is not good at reading other people's letters. But I don't think he intentionally cracked your passwords to gain access to your email account. Most likely you just did not leave the page. In any case, your assessment of the manager will not be the basis for your dismissal, but the relationship is certainly damaged and be vigilant so as not to violate production discipline and that the manager has no reason to terminate the employment contract for other reasons. Good luck to you! If you have any questions, please contact.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
They have no right to open personal mail, because this is an invasion of personal life person. You have the right to write a complaint to the prosecutor's office against this leader.
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How can I go to court to have them punished for insulting a person in the workplace?…
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Record the conversation on a voice recorder. Then - to the prosecutor's office.
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How to File a Complaint for Personal Injury in the Workplace?
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Hello, you need to file an application for initiating a case on an administrative offense under Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation "insult" to the prosecutor's office (Article 28.4 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation).
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Hello Anna.
For insult, administrative liability is provided in accordance with Art. 5.61 of the Code Russian Federation on administrative offences.
All you need is proof of the crime. Namely, it is necessary in some way (using a voice recorder, video camera, etc.) to record the fact of the insult and then contact the police department with this.
Based on the evidence presented by you, the offending person will be held administratively liable.
I will be glad to help you.
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What punishment can an official receive for insulting foreigners in the workplace?…
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, Article 130. Repealed
Article 130 - Federal Law of December 7, 2011 N 420-FZ.
You need to contact the prosecutor.
Article 5.61. Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation Insult
(introduced by the Federal "law" of 07.12.2011 N 420-FZ)
1. Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of one thousand to three thousand roubles; for officials - from ten thousand to thirty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from fifty thousand to one hundred thousand rubles.
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What punishment can an employee suffer for insult in the workplace?
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Punishment under Art. 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. In addition, it is possible to recover moral damages in a judicial proceeding in accordance with Art. 151 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
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I was attacked at the workplace by a woman with fists and insults to my fists, I answered with fists because I defended myself, but ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
reconcile with the victim - and the conflict is settled
You have a mutual insult (part 1 of article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation - administrative responsibility) - punishment fine - resolve the matter amicably
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
If she has evidence that you said so, it can be regarded as discrimination. If you ask for forgiveness, say it broke out in a fit of anger.
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I hit a colleague at my workplace for insulting me. she filed an application, fixed the scratches. How can I protect myself?...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
File a complaint for defamation.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Hello Zulfiya.
It's hard to explain on the fingers. First of all, get a lawyer.
Wish you luck.
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At the workplace, steal money from me (8500 rubles) and credit cards. When blocking the cards, I found out which ATM ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Such a complaint will be considered. But don't just write a complaint. It is reviewed for 30 days. Write in the order of Art. 124 Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation. Such a complaint is considered from 3 to 10 days. Contact if necessary. I handle criminal cases.
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harassment in the workplace...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Administrative responsibility on the basis of a statement to the police!
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The phrase Damn you, bitch, addressed to a person in the workplace is an insult? ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Good afternoon,
Yes, it is (Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation).
Article 5.61. Insult
1. Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of one thousand to three thousand roubles; for officials - from ten thousand to thirty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from fifty thousand to one hundred thousand rubles.
2. Insult contained in public speaking, publicly displayed work or medium mass media, —
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of three thousand to five thousand roubles; for officials - from thirty thousand to fifty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from one hundred thousand to five hundred thousand rubles.
3. Failure to take measures to prevent insult in a publicly displayed work or mass media -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on officials in the amount of ten thousand to thirty thousand roubles; for legal entities - from thirty thousand to fifty thousand rubles.
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Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
It is an insult, but even with testimonies in court you will not win more than 500 rubles.
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harassment in the workplace and my rights...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Good afternoon Olga. We have no criminal liability for insult. You can apply to the court for compensation for non-pecuniary damage.
Sincerely, Igor Danilov
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harassment in the workplace...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Alexei, 500 thousand is unlikely to satisfy, so don't worry. If indeed the insult was expressed only in a raised tone. If you have witnesses, it would be nice to involve them. Good luck!
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where to turn in case of insults in the workplace ....
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Responsibility for insult is only administrative. In order to prosecute a person for insult, you need to apply to the prosecutor's office at the place where the administrative offense was committed with a statement: the thing is that cases of administrative offenses of this category are initiated by the prosecutor.
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Please tell me how to write a statement to the court for insulting a colleague in the workplace, it was with a large number of ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
You need to write who, when and under what circumstances used foul language. If possible, call witnesses. If you have any difficulties, please contact us, we will help.
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What article is applied for insulting a person in a public place with obscene language and threatening to block my car ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Statement of private prosecution under Art. 130 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is filed in court by a justice of the peace. If you do not know the details of the person involved, contact the police first.
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Hello, I am an employee of a large trading organization. I have been harassed while at work...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Offense is punishable by law. If you have evidence of an insult, then write a statement to the justice of the peace. The judge will initiate a criminal case based on your application. This is called criminal cases of private prosecution.
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Hello, please tell me, is it possible to sue a pregnant woman for insulting a person in a public place? ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
In this case, you need to contact the prosecutor's office - they bring administrative responsibility for insulting - pregnancy is not an exemption from punishment
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Threats and harassment in the workplace...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
fixing the fact and applying to the authorities upon the fact
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Can I claim for insulting honor and dignity in a public place?
I was at work when I arrived...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Request - you can.
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At the workplace, first alone, in obscene form, then in the presence of team members, insults, accusations of ...
Question for a lawyer:
Lawyer's answer to the question: personal harassment in the workplace
Hello Hope. You must first write a statement to the police for prosecution under Article 5.61. Insult of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation
1. Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of one thousand to three thousand roubles; for officials - from ten thousand to thirty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from fifty thousand to one hundred thousand rubles.
2. An insult contained in a public speech, publicly demonstrated work or mass media, –
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of three thousand to five thousand roubles; for officials - from thirty thousand to fifty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from one hundred thousand to five hundred thousand rubles.
3. Failure to take measures to prevent insult in a publicly displayed work or mass media -
shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on officials in the amount of ten thousand to thirty thousand roubles; for legal entities - from thirty thousand to fifty thousand rubles.
Then you can sue and demand MATERIAL compensation under Article 152. Protection of honor, dignity and business reputation of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
1. A citizen has the right to demand in court a refutation of information discrediting his honor, dignity or business reputation, if the person who disseminated such information does not prove that it is true.
At the request of interested persons, the protection of the honor and dignity of a citizen is allowed even after his death.
2. If information discrediting the honor, dignity or business reputation of a citizen is disseminated in the mass media, they must be refuted in the same mass media.
If the specified information is contained in a document emanating from the organization, such a document is subject to replacement or revocation.
The order of refutation in other cases is established by the court.
3. A citizen in respect of whom the media have published information that infringes on his rights or interests protected by law, has the right to publish his response in the same media.
4. If the court decision is not executed, the court has the right to impose a fine on the violator, collected in the amount and in the manner prescribed by the procedural legislation, to the income of the Russian Federation. Payment of the fine does not release the violator from the obligation to perform the action stipulated by the court decision.
5. A citizen in respect of whom information discrediting his honor, dignity or business reputation has been disseminated, along with the refutation of such information, has the right to demand compensation for losses and moral damage caused by their dissemination.
6. If it is impossible to identify the person who has disseminated information that discredits the honor, dignity or business reputation of a citizen, the person in respect of whom such information is disseminated has the right to apply to the court to recognize the disseminated information as untrue.
7. The rules of this article on the protection of the business reputation of a citizen shall apply accordingly to the protection of the business reputation of a legal entity.
Act boldly. There will be questions, write. Good luck.
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Hello, I have such a problem. I decided to quit (IP). I wrote to the employer on WhatsApp that I would not go out anymore, I quit, I need to pick up my things / labor and get a calculation, to which she did not answer me. On March 6, she called her and asked if she would be on. ..
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