Emotions are a given, this is something that is born with us and accompanies all life. Fighting them is useless, suppressing them is dangerous, it is not always possible to ignore them, but sometimes it is simply unbearable to live in slavery with emotions. How to be? It is important to understand that emotion is a product of the thought process. And our thoughts are often dictated by the ego, which means that they are firmly linked to attitudes, complexes, resentments, past experiences, etc. with our luggage. That is, the basis of emotion is often far from being spiritual, but rather, on the contrary.
For example, what happens when we are criticized? Or are we being bullied? Or are they accused of something? As a rule, the ego immediately raises its head and says: “Yes, who are they to ....” or “Yes, I am a worthless person…”, or a childish feeling appears, when everything shrinks inside, we feel our defenselessness, fear, confusion, we are very uncomfortable. These are emotions, and if we continue to react in this way to the words (deeds) of others, then not only our emotional sphere, but also the physical body will suffer. Since the level of the problem is communication, the throat, the organs located in this area will hurt. Cervical osteochondrosis, thyroid disease, tonsillitis, pharyngitis, "lump" in the throat, etc.
According to the founder International Academy healers Nikolai Peychev, diseases in the neck are a retribution for the inability to work with information. Any word spoken to us is, first of all, information. And the information is given to us so that we can grow and develop spiritually. Therefore, any information that comes to us is useful. There is simply no other!
Any such situation brings us information - useful information! and evokes emotions. Right now, I'm asking you to think of a recent situation that made you feel uncomfortable and try to separate the information from the emotions in it. Now we do not focus on what you felt. It is important to realize why this information came to you, for what purpose? How will it help you grow spiritually? Something to realize, see, reevaluate?
Now - to emotions. She, too, did not just show up in this situation. Separately think about it - what did it highlight in you, what personal problem? This is a rejection of something or condemnation, resentment, pride - what?
Ie, here is the situation. You can get over it, push it into the subconscious and replenish the supply of negativity in your space, or you can look practically, decompose it into information and emotion, and take the maximum of what it can give out of the situation. In conclusion, if the situation still oppresses you, you can make a mini-constellation, replay it so that it stops unnerving and excites you. You can do it yourself, you can with the help of a specialist. If you need my help, . With the right work with memories that cause negative emotions in the present, such situations will no longer be repeated, because. the problem will be completely resolved. It has already been said that this happens when a person does not pass them correctly, i.e. does not take useful information from them, or does not use it later. Because information is not enough to get, you still need to work with it. For example, the situation revealed that you are judging someone. - a black energy hole, everything that could go into building your new beautiful future goes into it. In addition, from an energetic point of view, by condemning, we open ourselves to retaliation. Those. condemning is harmful and very. And now the situation has revealed that you are judging someone, and because of this, problems are created. Information received, what next? It is important to work with condemnation, alas, it is not always possible to just give up this habit. Like many other negativity in us, it is not just a habit, it is a quality, i.e. our property. It is almost impossible to take it and eliminate it from your space with a snap of your fingers. Therefore, getting information, separating it from emotions, is half the battle, the other half is applying the information received for the highest good of all.
For this, mine works, in which you go through two processes at the same time - liberation from the negative and development, building up the positive. Self-love is not some narrow topic related exclusively to the attitude towards oneself. This is a global story that links the present, past and future, attitude towards ourselves and people, people's attitude towards us, creative and professional success, the opportunity to do business for the soul, relationships with those closest to us, love, friendship, trust. With the development of self-love, fears disappear, anxiety subsides, bright, quiet joy grows, a state of happiness appears - simply from the fact that I live, breathe, move, communicate. The attitude to situations is changing - one's personal and general, global. Desires begin to come true, the habit of control goes away, tension subsides, you begin to live a full, rich life. This is, in general terms, a state of self-love.
People mistakenly believe that controlling emotions means calming down at the right moment. However, there is a huge difference between suppressing emotions and managing them. Many have faced situations in which feelings prevented acting rationally. For example, being offended, they expressed to a friend the hard-hitting truth, which should have been kept silent. Or vice versa, somewhere it was better to listen to the heart, and not to the brain.
Strategies to help avoid inappropriate displays of emotion.
To learn how to effectively manage your emotions, you must adhere to the following recommendations:
- Make a list.
- Smile or laugh more.
- Discuss your feelings with another person.
Surely everyone at least once in his life was between two fires - the mind and feelings. Being in a similar position, it is worth taking a sheet of paper and dividing it into two halves - in one, write down the actions provoked by emotions, and in the other, what the rational part calls for. The list will help determine what is more profitable to use in a particular situation. At some point, a reasonable solution will not be the best.
I want to cry? Even in the most difficult situation, it is worth trying to deceive the brain and force yourself to smile. Indeed, according to psychologists, the state of the facial muscles affects the emotional mood of a person. Smiling will help overcome negative emotions. It will also help you get the job done. The passengers of the plane, even after 10 hours of flight, want to see the stewardesses smiling warmly, to some extent it makes them feel significant. Of course, it is difficult to smile when tears are about to pour from your eyes, but why not make an effort to try?
Conclusion.
Something new needs to be learned from every situation. Even unpleasant communication with a person can provide an experience that will help to avoid undesirable consequences in the future. When someone offers to teach something new, you should not refuse, offendedly believing that there is nothing more to learn. Emotions often make it difficult to objectively assess the situation. It is better to take a closer look, communication will certainly be useful to both parties.
Everyone New Year we start with promises to ourselves: lose weight, enroll in language courses, be kinder to family and friends. And how unfortunate that our Napoleonic plans can sometimes collapse due to momentary boredom or blues. What danger is fraught with our emotions and how to prevent it in time?
“We believe we can change if we want to,” says psychologist Catherine Sykers. – But not everything is so simple. Our momentary decisions are strongly influenced by emotions.” And we are talking not only about negative emotions like stress, boredom and anxiety. An overly positive attitude can also be harmful. Happiness and self-confidence can cause us to overlook the problems that have arisen and avoid the changes we need.
So the first step is to get rid of harmful influence emotions - recognize this influence. “When you understand how they affect you, you can plan how to avoid it,” says Daryl O’Connor, a health psychologist at the University of Leeds. For example, you constantly reach for a cigarette when you feel anxious, or drink coffee when you are stressed. You can put a packet of gum or a bag of nuts nearby as a substitute beforehand.
Next, you should think: “How can I use this emotion to motivate myself?” Stress, anxiety, and fear, while negative emotions, can energize us and help turn intentions into action. The more you worry about aching lower back pain, the more likely you are not to skip your Pilates class. “There are no unconstructive emotions,” says coach Ivan Kirillov, author of the book Stress Surfing. Stress for good and for pleasure. – The problem is that we are not always able to recognize them and direct them to right direction. Any emotion is a response of the body to a stimulus. It creates the energy to respond. Where to direct this energy is up to you. Here are examples of how you can use your own emotional responses constructively.
Feeling of confidence
For highly confident people, the intentions to lead a healthy lifestyle often remain intentions. When you feel confident, unhealthy lifestyles (smoking, poor exercise, lack of sleep) may not bother you enough to make you want to change. It is important to understand how it will be useful for you to improve something in yourself. Let's say quit smoking so you can smell better and breathe more freely.
Anxiety
Anxiety is usually associated with stress and leads to all those negative consequences which are listed in the relevant section. But it can also be associated with fear. “A lot of people are so afraid of failing that they don’t even try,” says psychotherapist Pete Cohen. Instead of worrying about possible failure, start worrying about how unhealthy your lifestyle is. “If people want to change, they need to start worrying that they are doing something wrong at the moment,” says Cohen, “anxiety can give energy.”
Stress
When our brain is overwhelmed with an avalanche of thoughts and worries and we are stressed, we want to calm ourselves down. Therefore, we choose those things that stimulate the areas of the brain responsible for pleasure and reward. We perceive sweets, food and alcohol as a reward. “When we get them, the brain releases a neurotransmitter that works like the brain’s brake system, and we immediately feel relaxed,” says nutritionist Charlotte Watts (Charlotte Watts). “But going to the gym can have the same effect. Even short-term physical activity perfectly drives the stress hormone out of the body.
Happiness
Satisfaction with life can lead to carelessness. Why try to walk more when you are already doing well? “It’s like some part of the brain is trying to protect us from change,” says Pete Cohen, “if you try to change something too much, the brain seems to say: “Why are you doing this to yourself?” To overcome this obstacle, he says, you need to shake things up a bit and find the motivation to change your behavior. After all, it is much easier for a happy person to change than an unhappy one. In this state, you are open to everything new, and any change is always something new. When we are happy, we are better at solving any problems and tasks, so you can easily figure out how to make time for dance classes in a busy work schedule or how to add more vegetables to your favorite dish.
Sadness
“When we are sad, it is almost impossible to concentrate and stick to our plans,” Cohen explains. Any effort seems too heavy. It is extremely difficult to find and mobilize the forces that are required for change. The best way change psychological condition- affect the physical state. “If you want to beat the state of sadness, the best remedy is to move more,” advises Cohen. Walk, go to the gym, do anything that releases mood-boosting endorphins.
Boredom
severe stress can unsettle us, but the same thing happens in the almost complete absence of stress and exciting factors. “Studies show that people who do passive or low-effort work tend to move little and rarely strive to lead a healthy lifestyle,” says Daryl O’Connor. - They are bored". Those who complain about boredom usually do not follow the daily routine, and after all, regularity is the key to the success of any positive change. If you are doing boring activities, try replacing at least one of them with a healthy activity - go for a swim or read up on which vitamins you should take.
* I. Kirillov “Stress surfing. Stress for good and pleasure” (Alpina Publisher, 2013).
The right word - you can not feel anything at all! About what emotions can interfere with thinking objectively, today we will tell in our article.
Sense of duty and obligation
Obligation and responsibility is, of course, good. But sometimes these seemingly helpful feelings can lead us to undesirable consequences. So, you don't owe anyone anything. Remember, this is very important. As unfortunate as it may be, but sometimes we do not notice how we harm ourselves for the sake of others. Helping a friend or helping out a neighbor is certainly a good thing. But you need to understand your limits.
“You have to go to this party!” your friend declares, taking you away from your already planned activities. No. All you owe - you owe only to yourself. And no one else. Learn to say “no” to overly pushy requests from others, and you will see how much easier you will relate to everything.
Feeling of own imperfection
Nobody is perfect, and that's just something to be aware of. But how many times have we been haunted by the question: “Am I suitable for this job?” or “Do these people need me?”. Absolutely, the answer is "yes" and "yes."
Learn not to be afraid of the future, on the contrary, perceive any changes with enthusiasm, then nothing will take you by surprise. If you don't know something, don't worry! Much worse if you don't want to change it. You can learn everything and always, no matter how old you are. The main desire.
Resentment
I know it can be very difficult, but try not to be offended - this feeling greatly interferes with a sound assessment of the situation. When you are offended, your mind is far from positive planning for your future. In addition, it seems to you that the whole world is against you, and any, even a minor failure, like a torn off button, can infuriate you.
Unconscious projection
The effect of unconscious projection is that we unwittingly project onto a person what is suitable for ourselves. That is, those things that are in the order of things for us should be taken for granted by our interlocutor.
Unfortunately, we do not always understand that we are all different, and each person requires a different hike. Because of this, misunderstanding, quarrels and other negative moments may arise in communication.
Feeling first impression
The principle of first impression is a phenomenon in which we perceive an object or event as we perceived it for the first time. For example, we saw a person who comes to us with the aim of talking or getting to know each other. Without waiting for a single word from him, we begin to perceive a potential interlocutor in our own way, drawing a conclusion from the picture we see: a crumpled shirt, dirty shoes, or, on the contrary, an expensive suit and a confident posture.
The sense of first impression applies not only to people, but to any event. To learn to look at the world a little wider, try to "dig deeper": see what topic makes your interlocutor's eyes burn with enthusiasm, find out the details or historical facts events.
Emotions help a person understand what he likes and what repels him. But people are so used to obeying their own emotions that they become theirs.
While you are emotional, it is difficult for you to see the real state of things. It is so easy for you to give advice to other people, but when you yourself find yourself in such situations, you seem to be lost. You easily understand what happened to you when your emotions subsided, and not during the period when the event was in full swing.
We can say that emotions perform a simple function: they make it clear how personally the person who experiences them reacts to what he observes.
The world itself is unemotional. The events themselves do not carry any emotions.
These internal sensations are the result of the influence of hormones and the attitude that a person shows to what is happening to him.
Emotions do not go beyond the person himself
They are born in it, seethe and subside. It is impossible to feel the love of another person, because it is an emotion.
That's why people don't understand each other's feelings, because it's just not possible to do that.
Emotions belong only to the person who experiences them. And no one else knows about them.
The world itself is unemotional. life situations do not carry any emotion. Emotions, including negative ones, come from our attitude to what is happening. Our attitude comes from attitudes and values. If you want to stop being offended or upset, change your settings. For example, to such: “What other people do does not change me and my value as a person.”
It all depends on how you feel about the situation.
The same situation may annoy you, or it may not cause any emotions.
- What mood are you in?
- What are your ideas about what should happen and how?
- Do you have negative reactions to the details of the situation?
- Is something bothering you?
- Etc.
Righteousness is relative
Sometimes a person considers his actions to be right, because he himself commits them. But when he observes the same actions in the performance of another person and they interfere with him, then he considers them wrong.
- For example, you think that you did the right thing by not standing in line for a minute and leaving everyone waiting behind you.
- But if you were standing in line and some person crawled to the checkout without standing for a minute, then you would consider his act wrong.
While a person is emotional, he cannot look at the world objectively, soberly, judiciously. Man obeys his emotions. He no longer perceives them as only a personal attitude to what is happening. He thinks that the whole world is in the same emotions.
It is better to wait until the emotions subside, and you can think with "sober" thoughts.
As long as a person is under the influence of an emotion, he cannot accept rational decisions. Better give yourself time to cool down.
Accept the situation at the level of facts
If you are calm, indifferent and accepting the situation as it is, then nothing and no one will annoy you or.
Moreover, the concepts of “right” and “wrong” will immediately disappear from you, since you will understand that you should look at the facts, and not try to make everything according to your opinion, that is, in the way that is convenient and desirable for you. .
A person who lives and sees the actual situations that are happening does not know what is right and wrong. For him there is this or that situation that happened. And how can it be interpreted right or wrong, if you just need it understand, solve and move on?
Be calm and indifferent. Live with facts and reality, not wishing that only what is “right” happens in your life.
Life is not divided into right and wrong. Everything can happen in it.
And if you don’t like it (that is, you think some situation is wrong), then this is your problem.
It's you don't want accept the situation as it is and feel relaxed about it. You choose to fight when you are really only fighting your own rejection of the situation.
