Rules of happy families read online. Happy Family Rules by John Miller and Karen Miller. What problem is this book best suited to solve?

(by John Miller and Karen Miller). As an experienced parent beaten by life, I don’t really like books of this kind, I was wary. But, there is nothing to do, the book is already there, such a small, pretty one, with a lace bookmark (I’m great at bookmarks now). I decided to carry it with me to my daughter’s classes, so that I could read it in the hallway while waiting for her from class. But just then the New Year began, Christmas trees, holidays, then other circumstances. All in all, I never finished reading the book.

But the reason to write about it still appeared. I am writing here.
This is very strange to me, but the authors of the book actually initially engaged in education and training for employees of all kinds of different companies, teaching them "personal responsibility". They developed a concept of how to ask the right questions, taught adult uncles and aunts, and then came to the conclusion that all this would work in the family, with children. Well, this is just normal, I think, everywhere there are people, both in the office and at home. Moreover, they are experienced parents, seven children.
It was very difficult for me to start reading the book. Because what I read somehow did not fit with what I know and see around me. But perhaps the problem is that I actually communicate with people very little, almost not at all. The authors give an example of incorrect parental questions “Why is the daughter not ..........?”, “When is the son already .......?”. Do parents really ask these questions? Maybe American parents ask them? Or maybe in English and Russian it sounds very different and it's a matter of translation? And ..... maybe I once upon a time ... could put the question in this way? But to ask a child "How can I become a good parent for you?" I definitely don't like this.
The authors teach parents to take personal responsibility for what happens to their children by asking the right questions. But, it's really strange for me to hear that personal responsibility should be taught. On the contrary, at some point in my life, I took a step forward, allowing myself to “not be responsible” for everything related to children. At this stage of reading, I decided that it was probably the difference in mentalities, ours and the American.
Then it got a little more fun. I liked the comparison of children with the "tenants" of the house, while the parents are the "owners" of the house and they will always take care of the house and order in it better than the "tenants". My husband, however, actively disliked this comparison. But, do I not know how it looks like the truth.
If you have already read American educational books, then you will not be surprised at the manner of presentation, with many repetitions and returns. It must be annoying for a lot of people. What to do, they are so accepted. But still, I realized that I agree with most of what they write about, because my three completely different children taught me a lot. Could I hear what they write about when I had one child? Don't know...
Here, somewhere, the holidays began and the book was abandoned. But, one day, when my husband began to scold his son very hotly for not hanging school clothes in place (and he does it stubbornly and stubbornly, and I just stopped trying to correct the situation, although it was very tired of my husband and I), I suddenly I heard that he does it with the help of those same questions. And I told him - “You are not asking like that” (in fact, at that moment I was laughing, they were both so nervous that I just really wanted to smooth the situation). Let's go and ask differently. "Darling, what can we do for you to hang your clothes in place?" Then there were some conversations that were not particularly remarkable, and we did not agree on anything in particular. But the main thing is that he began to discuss with us the ways of solving this problem, which he simply refused to see before. We agreed that we would remind him for some time that he needed to hang up his clothes. Now, when he comes home, the son says, “I don’t need to be reminded.” This has been going on for some time, I don’t know how things will go on, but before there were no such successes.
So I'll probably read the book.

Karen Miller, John Miller

Rules for happy families Book for Responsible Parents

Published with permission from Perigee, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

Make your kids successful

Jim Rogers

whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Strength of will

Kelly McGonigal

Personal development

Stephen Pavlina

Don't go for marmalade

Joaquim de Posada, Ellen Singer

Foreword

It is striking that the ten commandments do not contain any obligations of parents towards the child. It must have seemed to God unnecessary to regulate by law that which He guards by love.

Robert Brolt

My father and mother, John and Karen Miller, are not parenting experts, but I consider them excellent parents. They are not child psychologists, did not conduct special research and did not defend their dissertations in family counseling, but their parenting methods speak for themselves. I think that as the eldest child in the family, I can say with all responsibility: maybe they are not ideal parents, but they did an excellent job with this job.

I know I sound like a kid who brags about his parents, but not only am I the eldest of seven children (six girls and one boy), but I also work for QBQ, where I help my father get the message across. personal responsibility through training, public speaking and coaching. And, despite the fact that it is very difficult to run a family business, I Like work for parents and with them. This alone is enough to understand the effectiveness of their parenting methods.

Of course, they made mistakes, and so did I, but in general, I always had an excellent relationship with them, which has survived to this day. I remember being genuinely perplexed when my friends complained about problems with their parents. Although I had moments of "lost balance", I never wanted my parents to leave me alone, nor to leave home.

The main reason I consider them good parents is that they are guided by a practical and actionable concept called The Question Behind the Question (QBQ), which allows them, as well as other parents, to develop personal responsibility for education. If parents were allowed to choose only one parenting method, it would definitely be QBQ.

My dad came up with this method before I entered adolescence. He then went on to teach the principle of "Personal Responsibility and QBQ" to the business world. Almost immediately, he noticed that clients wanted to use this technique at home in order to become good parents. He often heard: “I can apply this in the family just as well as in work!”

QBQ terminology soon seeped into everyday conversations across families, including our home. We children used to tease our parents, especially our father, from time to time with questions like: “Oh, dad, you would you like to ask a QBQ right now?!” Of course, we said it in jest, but we can really be called a QBQ family.

Karen Miller, John Miller

Rules for happy families Book for Responsible Parents

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

Make your kids successful

Jim Rogers

whole life

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Strength of will

Kelly McGonigal

Personal development

Stephen Pavlina

Don't go for marmalade

Joaquim de Posada, Ellen Singer

Foreword

It is striking that the ten commandments do not contain any obligations of parents towards the child. It must have seemed to God unnecessary to regulate by law that which He guards by love.

Great news: any family can be the same.

I am sure that adults do not have enough tools for raising children. Parenting is the hardest round-the-clock work. I always suspected it, but now I know not by hearsay: she herself became a mother. My husband Eric and I are grateful for a useful tool called QBQ, and not only us, but many other families as well. I receive letters from parents who describe parenting problems and how they use the method at home, wanting to better cope with their task of raising children.

But do not forget that initially this book was not addressed to parents. I remember one grandmother, hearing my father on the Dave Ramsey radio show, immediately bought two books on our website: QBQ! and Flipping the Switch, but soon after asked if they could be returned. When asked about the reasons, she replied that everything was “about business”, and she wanted her adult children to read the book and raise their grandchildren correctly.

Once I was having lunch with a friend who has two children. We chatted about our "mom" things, and she said: "The last thing I want to read is another book on parenting, which will tell you in detail and step by step what I should make. Almost none of these books can be applied in life. I need thoughts that will make me think and principles that will help me do better with raising children.” To which I replied: "My parents are just writing such a book."

So, here is a book written for parents, grandparents, and anyone interested in the best methods of parenting. We believe this type of book is needed for one reason: the art of parenting can be learned. Therefore, I promise that you will find practical and useful ideas in it, which, thanks to your perseverance in their implementation, will eventually turn into skills. Believe you will be rewarded!

Personal responsibility

You cannot avoid responsibility tomorrow by avoiding it today.

Abraham Lincoln

Our 20-year-old daughter Molly was babysitting a neighbor's 12-year-old boy one weekend whose parents were away. Saturday morning, Molly brought the guy over to us, bringing along his buddy Grayson. We had never seen Grayson before, and we didn't know his parents either. We did not know what kind of people they were, where they came from, what they did, but something we became aware of them thanks to a visual testimony - their son.

Our ranch in Colorado covers several acres with a large barn and swimming pool. There are signs everywhere that many children live here (we have seven of them): a trampoline, a rope, a battered ATV and a bunch of "electronic toys" at home. Our kids Christine, Tara, Michael, Molly, Charlene, Jazzy and Natasha love this house. So the boys had fun all day long until it got dark.

Around seven in the evening, Molly shouted: "Guys, it's time to go home!" We heard a quick thud and the sound of doors opening and closing, we thought the boys had run out of the house, so we were a little taken aback when Grayson appeared in the living room.

“Thank you for inviting me over, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

“Not at all,” we replied. - We hope you had a good time.

Karen Miller, John Miller

Rules for happy families Book for Responsible Parents

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

Make your kids successful

Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Don't go for marmalade

Joaquim de Posada, Ellen Singer

It is striking that the ten commandments do not contain any obligations of parents towards the child. It must have seemed to God unnecessary to regulate by law that which He guards by love.

Great news: any family can be the same.

Book Review: Rules for Happy Families.

Hello, dear readers of the Detology website!

What is QBQ?

It is the ability to ask the right, effective questions to find solutions. Initially, this method was used to build a successful business, but then the authors of the books decided to transfer it to the family.

There are FBs (wrong questions).

For example: “Why do I have such a difficult child?”, “Why do I need such a punishment?”, “When will they learn to do what I ask?”. It is natural to ask such questions, but directed at everything and everyone except the person asking the question, they indicate a lack of personal responsibility. These questions lead to nothing but self-pity and victimhood.

And with such a parent, the child will also grow up blaming everyone and everything around him ... I think many of you know people who are always to blame, and around them everyone is bad, does not understand, does not appreciate, etc.

The Millers' book covers this issue in more detail, but now I want to introduce you to it a little.

What are the right questions?

QBQ questions are primarily self-directed, such as: “What should I do differently?”, “How can I build a more trusting relationship with my child?”, “How can I help my child develop good habits?” etc.

When we ask ourselves the right questions, finding solutions becomes much easier.

The most interesting thing is that the book describes many examples of how these same QBQ questions work.

Why should you read The Rules for Happy Families?

Because the book is written very easily and simply. It has many examples and practice.

Because I have not yet seen the consideration of issues from such a position, i.e., this is definitely something new, and not a transfusion from empty to empty, as in many books now.

Basically, the book is devoted to children of adolescence, in my opinion, this is due to the fact that the children of the authors are already at this age or older.

But the book is not dedicated only to teenagers, it is suitable for all parents: after all, the ability to correctly pose questions, the tasks of education, first of all, is necessary from a very early age.

Remember that the problems of adolescence are mainly associated with unresolved problems of earlier periods, and correcting something at 14 child years is already a thousand times harder than building harmonious relationships in the first place.

What problem is this book really suited to solving?

1. For parents of naughty children. The book will help you look at the situation differently in order to break out of the vicious circle.

2. For parents of dependent children. The book will help teach children responsibility and independence.

3. For parents who have a lot of NV in their heads? And this is probably the majority of parents, unfortunately.

Where can you find the book

John and Karen Miller "Happy Family Rules"? Here

Happymomsplace - #meeting places

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Rules for Happy Families. D. Miller, K. Miller. Book Review + Useful Parenting Materials

Rules for Happy Families. D. Miller, K. Miller. Book Review + Useful Parenting Materials

The book we're talking about today is Happy Family Rules by John and Karen Miller. In the article you will find a review of the book, useful tips on raising children and you will be able to download chapter 2 from the book!

Rules for Happy Families. D. Miller, K. Miller. Book review.

Before reading this book, I read John Miller's book "Proactive Thinking". I liked the book. The main idea of the book is personal responsibility for everything that happens in our lives. And this personal responsibility is born due to the fact that we ask ourselves the so-called right questions (RH): what, how, in what way, instead of the wrong ones (HW): who, when, why. John Miller called it all the QBQ ("Question by Question") method.

Have you noticed how often it happens in the world that people blame each other for all their troubles?! Yes, yes, it happens very often and in all areas. When we start to think proactively, that is, take responsibility into our own hands and ask what I can do now to change the situation, solve the problem, instead of looking for someone to blame, we make our lives better and better. I really liked what I read. I knew about many of the points before, but never came across it in such a detailed method. “It is good to apply this method in family relationships,” I thought. And it turned out that John Miller, together with his wife Karen, wrote a book on the QBQ method specifically for families - Rules for Happy Families. Today we are going to talk about this book!

I hope I explain clearly! If you are a little confused now, then further, you should understand everything!

Here is what is written about the QBQ method in the book applicable to families:

“QBQ is a method that allows parents to develop personal responsibility and make the right decisions in the process of education. Parents should ask themselves the right questions (author's note).

Wrong question: why doesn't my daughter listen to my advice?

The right question is: What can I do to understand her needs?

Wrong question: Who made a mess here?

The right question is: How can I help my child develop good habits?

The right questions lead to the right decisions.”

Now about the book itself:

1. The first thing I want to say is that the book is very easy and quick to read, as it is in a small format (A5), each problem has a separate chapter, and the chapters are short. For those who like to read books on the road, carry several books with them, have some space in their bag - this book is perfect :) If you want to re-read this book or carry it around as a reminder of personal responsibility, then this book will definitely not take lots of space!

2. I also liked that at the beginning of each chapter there is a quote from a famous person or a verse from the Bible, which briefly convey the essence of the chapter.

3. Despite the fact that the book was written by American authors, there is no strong difference in the issues of upbringing and problems with children.

4. On the example of the stories of the Miller family (who, by the way, have 7 children: 4 of their own and 3 adopted) and not only, you will learn and remember many important moments in raising children. Lots of examples are always good! Practice is always better than just theory!

5. Even if you already know a lot about parenting and personal responsibility, the book will be useful to you. So she will once again remind you of important things.

So it was with me. At a difficult moment, when I was visiting relatives and blaming the whole world for the fact that someone was to blame for my troubles, the book brought me back to the track of personal responsibility. What can I do now to improve the situation?! That's what I asked myself :)

6. In general, the book is good! But sometimes I lacked practical steps to solve a particular problem. More in the book focuses on what questions you need to ask yourself in a given situation. And it says that by asking the right questions, you will learn to make the right decisions. And you need to look for these solutions yourself :) But who knows, if everything was described in such detail, perhaps it would be a completely different book :)

And now, let's take a closer look at some of the chapters from the book.

Here I will give an analysis of the chapters and some important points of raising children.

Chapter 1 "Personal Responsibility"

“You cannot avoid responsibility tomorrow by avoiding it today” (Abraham Lincoln).

As parents, we should remember that the way our children are is largely the result of our upbringing. Often parents try to shift the responsibility for raising their children to nannies, educators, teachers, doctors, grandparents, etc. But you see, even in this case, what kind of person your child will grow up to be is your responsibility. And you need to learn to take it on yourself! These are very important things. I hear a lot around how parents, describing problems that arise with a child, say that someone else is to blame for them: a bad company, a bad teacher, a bad educator, etc. What can I say, I sometimes see this temptation in myself ...

“If parents have problems with a teenager, then most likely they arose in early childhood. My child is a product of my upbringing.”

And as part of the QBQ method, parents must constantly learn to ask themselves the right questions: “What actions of mine created a problem?”, “Where do I start to parent differently?” ...

Chapter 2 "The art of parenting can be learned"

“Before getting married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theory” (John Wilmot).

This chapter says that it is important for us as parents to learn, develop, and as a result, become the best. And it doesn’t go away that they say, why bother, they themselves will grow. Do you understand? Grow up, then grow up, but by whom?

Parents need to learn how to take care of their children and educate them. They have instincts, but it seems to me that this is not enough! I'm so sure :)

The good news is that the art of parenting can be learned! You will succeed, but you need to try and put a lot of effort! The fruits of education will not have to wait long! And I am learning, and will be learning for the rest of my life! None of us was a parent before having a baby!

Are you ready to learn?

Chapter 4 "Why me?"

“Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we give in to it, we will never do anything good.” (Helen Keller)

Wrong questions like why me make a parent a victim who is constantly dissatisfied and complains about life. And in this case, there is no question of personal responsibility and effective upbringing, since the parent always blames the child, husband and everyone else for all the troubles. By asking the right questions, such as “What can I do to be a great mother to you,” instead of the wrong “why me?”, we will be one step closer to being good parents. And it will only benefit our family!

Similar thoughts can be found in Chapter 6 "No Complaints" which can be described with a quote:

“Do everything without grumbling or doubting” (Phil. 2:14).

Chapter 7 "Procrastination is a comrade of failure"

“God promises forgiveness and an answer to our repentance; but God does not promise anything for tomorrow if you are slow.” (Blessed Augustine)

What concerns the issues of education, does not tolerate delay! You yourself know and see how children grow and develop rapidly, so putting off their upbringing for later, we can miss something very important. It is always better to prevent a disease than to treat its consequences. “Procrastination is a friend of failure,” the book says. "Happy Families Rules". So let us not have such a comrade. Let's ask ourselves the right questions: "What can I do today to change everything?", "How can I solve this problem immediately?"

Chapter 8 "Urgency" emphasizes the thoughts of chapter 7, which can be described by a quote:

“I am convinced that action must be taken without delay. Knowing is not enough, you have to apply. Wanting is not enough, you have to do it” (Leonardo Da Vinci).

Chapter 12 "We are being watched"

"Children tend to ignore their parents' words, but never miss an opportunity to imitate them" (James Baldwin)

This phrase says it all. Children are a reflection of their parents! First of all, we, as parents, need to educate ourselves, and then our children! And if you don’t like some quality in your child, take a look at yourself, maybe the child adopted this quality from you ...

As they say in the book Rules for Happy Families. D. Miller, K. Miller:

If I do not want my children to use foul language, I need to watch my speech.

If I don't want my kids to complain about others, I need to criticize others less.

If I want my children to play sports, I should wash my bike and go for a ride.

Remember they are watching us!

Chapter 13 "Don't Forget About the Word 'I'"

“Judge not, lest you be judged, for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with what measure you use, it will be measured to you again. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not feel the beam in your eye? (Heb. Matt. 7:1-3)

Remember, the only person you can change is yourself! This is the essence of personal responsibility and the QBQ method.

Ask RP: “How can I change myself?”, “How can I develop personal skills?” etc.

Chapter 17 How to Become Strong Parents

“If we do not shape our children, they will be shaped by external forces that do not care what our children will turn out.” (Dr. Louise Hart)

This chapter was a revelation for me. It would seem that we are talking about discipline - a well-known concept. But I never thought about it, as it is written about it in the book. And I discovered some things that should not be allowed to a child.

There is a so-called weak education. In this case, with the conniving attitude of the parents, the child becomes "his own master" and does what he wants.

In the case of a strong upbringing, a firm approach is characteristic, when parents lovingly teach the child that they are the highest authority. The main goal is to develop self-discipline in the child. Parents don't shy away from responsibility, referring to the fact that "Too tired" or "It won't work."

“Strong parents understand that it is their responsibility (which they themselves have taken on) to firmly and decisively shape the personality of their children on the path to adulthood. Good parents discipline themselves in order to discipline their children,” writes John Miller.

As you read through the chapter, you'll also find a list of checklists to help you decide if it's time for you to be strong parents.

Chapter 25 "Speak well of children"

“Keep your tongue from evil and your mouth from deceitful words” (Psalms 33:14)

How many times have you heard parents speak badly of their children, even as a joke? A lot, it seems to me. So, positive thinking is always better than negative thinking. For example, as they say in the book:

“She will drive me crazy with her tantrums!

I just put my baby to bed - I will finally rest for a couple of hours!

Do you think you have a difficult child? Wait, he'll go to high school!

In addition to the fact that such negative statements and jokes humiliate the child, they deprive us of the joy of parenting and can even undermine the faith of other parents in their children and in their own strength!

Talk about children well!

Chapter 26 "Family Team"

“If the family were a ship, it would be a canoe that would not move until everyone started rowing” (Letty Pogrebin)

Recently I was thinking about how important it is to be a team in the family. Society in many ways tries to violate the integrity of the family, offering its own interests and values, but being a single whole is the most important task for all family members.

Parents should ask themselves: “What can I do to create a strong team in my home?”, “How can I show that I value the time spent together”, etc.

Chapter 32 "Grandparents"

“There are no better nannies than the older generation. They can safely be trusted with a child for a long time, which is why most grandparents run away to Florida!” (Dave Barry)

For me, this chapter was also a revelation. At the time of writing this review, we were also visiting my husband's relatives. Aunts and uncles, grandparents, great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers came together ... There were a lot of opinions and thoughts about how to raise my child. You understand :). Although, in general, they do not interfere much in our lives, but right there under the same roof ... :)

With a wealth of information available about parenting and childcare, I was often skeptical of family advice, but after reading this chapter, I have changed my mind. The chapter says that all the same, discarding pride and prejudice, it is worth listening to the advice of elders! The authors teach that it is necessary to determine the role of grandparents in the upbringing of children and be able to convey their position to them, asking themselves the following questions: “How to set the right boundaries?”, “How can I learn from those who have walked this path” ...

Chapter 34 "Ready for Life"

“We cannot always make the future better for our children, but we can always prepare them for it.” (Franklin Roosevelt)

Much has already been said in this phrase, our task is to teach children how to live in this world, and not try to do everything for them. We must give them knowledge, both spiritually and practically. Give as much knowledge as possible! Teach them to be good husbands/wives/friends/colleagues/servants of God….good people!

Questions parents should ask themselves are: “How do I determine what skills my child will need and teach them?”, “How can I help him prepare for a successful life?”…

“In the end, if we are close to the children and teach them to work productively and enjoy it, we can say with a clear conscience that they are absolutely ready for life” ,- written by the authors of the book Rules for Happy Families.

Chapter 35 Final QBQ Question

“Education never ends. It just changes shape. When children grow up, we parents must adapt to new relationships and new roles, accept the growing up of children and their independence. And to be able to ask yourself a question in time, the final QBQ question: “How can I learn to let go of what I am not able to control?”, - they write in the book.

You have to learn to let go...

There is much more I would like to tell you and discuss this book. But then you will not be interested in reading it :) I recommend this book for reading! And I look forward to your feedback and impressions, and also, if you want to discuss some points from the book, write in the comments!

You can download the second chapter of the book here.

And the last thing I want to say ... I recently thought about what kind of people read my posts, and answered myself that my readers are responsible and caring parents who care about their children and how they raise them! It's great, but it's sad that many parents who need this information also don't get it. Therefore, I urge you, dear reader, to share the information you read with other parents in your environment, show by example how you can raise children well, let's read useful books to them ... It is important to spread good information among people. Let's hope that the sown word-seed will sprout in their heart and give good fruit!

Are you all taught to live?! Knowledge is power! Read us! Be smart, confident and happy!

Rules for happy families Book for Responsible Parents

Volume: 90 pages 8 illustrations
Genre: in the upbringing of children, foreign applied literature
Tags: in education and pedagogy, home education, books for parents, family pedagogy, advice to parents

If you are about to have children, or are now surrounded by crawling children, or your offspring have already left the parental nest, you will not find a more useful book! It is written with soul and heart by parents who have known the joys and sorrows, victories and defeats that all fathers and mothers face. Thoughtful comments, observations and advice from experienced parents (the authors have seven children) truly inspire, encourage action and encourage them to learn personal responsibility in education.

Published in Russian for the first time.

Age limit: 12+
Release date on LitRes: October 17, 2013
Date of writing: 2013
Volume: 90 pages 8 illustrations

ISBN: 978-5-91657-916-1
Interpreter: Elena Buznikova
Copyright holder: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber (MIF)
Table of contents

Confidence that one person can change another is a fundamental mistake.

If we do not want to renounce the leading role in the upbringing of our children, then to the question: “Whose responsibility is it to raise children?” - must answer: "Mine!"

Useful for understanding

Those who expect specifics from this book will certainly be disappointed. The authors do not give practical advice. They only say that one must be conscious of life and take responsibility for it. One should not deceive oneself by shifting the responsibility for, say, the inappropriate behavior of one's own children to their bad character. We need to think about our responsibility in this and about what can be done to change the current situation. The book is interesting. Examples from life are given, which always simplifies perception. Generally, it is easy to read. It helps, perhaps, to take a fresh look at yourself, at your life. Inspires awareness, teaches you to ask the “right” questions. But, unfortunately, closing the book, you understand that having learned to ask these very “correct” questions, you do not always know where to find the right answers to them. That, in my opinion, is the biggest weakness of this book.

Miller, Miller: Rules for Happy Families. Book of Responsible Parents

Parenting th QBQ Way

Synopsis for The Rules for Happy Families. Book of Responsible Parents»

Thoughtful comments.

“Before I was married, I had six theories about parenting. Now I have six children and no theories.” John Wilmot, English poet.
Quite often we hear complaints:
"Why don't my kids do what I say?" "Who made this mess?" “When will my teens learn to take responsibility for their actions?”
Questions like these, which many parents ask, lead to feelings of guilt, procrastination, and a general depressive mood. But there is a solution - a simple method of VZV (question by question), which will allow you to bring personal responsibility into family life.
Instead of ineffective questions like “Why don’t my kids listen to me?” or “When they finally do, what am I asking?”, it’s worth asking better questions: “What should I do differently?” or “How can I be a better parent?” This simple yet challenging belief concept shifts attention - and responsibility - back to parents and what they can do for their children.
Thoughtful comments, observations and advice are truly inspiring and motivating.
book chips
The authors are experienced parents with seven children.
About authors
John Miller is a graduate of Cornell University and the founder of QBQ. Since 1986 he has specialized in training and education. He has worked with many of the largest companies, public and private organizations and thousands of private clients, teaching them the core value of personal responsibility. Karen Miller has mentored mothers of preschoolers at MOP (Mothers of Preschoolers) and MomsNext. She held leadership positions in the Society for the Study of the Bible, worked as a nurse for 16 years. John and Karen have been married since 1980 and have seven (!) children.
Who is this book for?
For all parents who want to raise their child as a free, responsible and balanced person.

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Current version In accordance with Article 6.2 of the Federal Law of July 17, 1999 N 178-FZ "On State Social Assistance" (Sobraniye Zakonodatelstva Rossiyskoy Federatsii, 1999, N 29, Art. 3699; 2004, N 35, Art. 3607; 2006 , N 48, art. 4945), paragraph 5.2.34 of the Regulations on […]
Murder committed in a state of passion (Article 107 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) Murder in a state of passion (Article 107 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) A murder committed in a state of passion is a murder that was completely in a state of extreme emotional excitement (which arose suddenly) and was caused by the following […]
Calculator for calculating interest under Art. 395 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation Permanent link to the calculation: http://395gk.ru Calculation of interest according to the rules of article 395 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation Permanent link to the calculation: http://395gk.ru The information obtained as a result of the calculation is for reference only. The calculator allows […]

Rules for Happy Families. D. Miller, K. Miller. Book review.

I hope I explain clearly! If you are a little confused now, then further, you should understand everything!

Here is what is written about the QBQ method in the book applicable to families:

“QBQ is a method that allows parents to develop personal responsibility and make the right decisions in the process of education. Parents should ask themselves the right questions (author's note).

Compare:

Wrong question: why doesn't my daughter listen to my advice?

The right question is: What can I do to understand her needs?

Wrong question: Who made a mess here?

The right question is: How can I help my child develop good habits?

The right questions lead to the right decisions.”