It is difficult to imagine humanity without interpersonal relationships. Most people spend most of their adult life in communication: from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, we are in the company of our family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and strangers. Individuals enter into certain forms of face-to-face relationships, through the telephone, the Internet, various forms of paper documents. Exclude all this from our life, and then it can hardly be called human in the full sense of the word. How is the formation of interpersonal relationships and what is meant by this term? Let's try to find answers to these questions.

Definition of interpersonal relationships

By the term "interpersonal relationships" psychologists mean a set of interactions that occur between individuals, often accompanied by emotional experiences and in some way convey the state of a person's inner world.

Interpersonal relationships are based on various types of communication, which include non-verbal communication, a certain appearance, body movements and gestures, spoken language, etc. They combine cognitive, emotional and behavioral components.

The cognitive component means such features of interpersonal relationships as various forms of cognition - representation, imagination, perception, sensation, memory, thinking. All of them allow us to recognize in a person his individual psychological characteristics and achieve understanding, which, in turn, depends on adequacy (how accurately we perceive the psychological portrait of the person with whom we interact) and identification (identification of our personality with the personality of another individual). ).

The emotional component denotes the experiences that we experience when communicating with certain people. And they can be both positive and negative, that is, in the process of interpersonal relations, one can experience sympathy or antipathy, satisfaction with one's partner or the results of joint activities, or lack thereof. We can feel empathy, or emotional response, to the experiences of another person, which is expressed in empathy, complicity and sympathy.

Finally, the behavioral component characterizes facial expressions, gestures, pantomime, speech and actions that express the attitude of the individual towards other people or the group as a whole. Actually, the behavioral component acts as a regulator of the nature of interpersonal relationships.

Formation of interpersonal relationships

The development of interpersonal relations is possible only under one condition - if the individual has the ability to establish contacts with people, find a common language with them. This is facilitated by lightness and contact, trust and understanding, emotional attraction and acceptance, as well as the absence of a rigid program of manipulation and self-interest.

Interpersonal relationships ideally strive for trust, this includes the expectation of support and confidence that the partner will not betray or use the situation to harm.

In the process of trusting interpersonal communication there is a deepening of relations, a reduction in psychological distance. However, trust often develops into gullibility, which is expressed in the fact that the individual unreasonably believes in the word, despite the tricks and disappointments.

Types of interpersonal relationships

There are many different criteria for assessing interpersonal relationships. Their content is determined by the degree of psychological closeness between partners, the assessment of relationships, the position of dominance, dependence or equality, as well as the degree of acquaintance.

From the point of view of the goal, the forms of interaction between individuals can be primary and secondary. Features of interpersonal relations of the primary type lie in the fact that the necessary connections are established between people, as a rule, by themselves. Secondary connections arise from what kind of help or function one person performs in relation to another.

By the nature of interpersonal relationships are divided into formal and informal. Formal ones are based on an official basis and are regulated by charters, laws and other prescribed rules of interaction, which usually have a legal basis. Informal ones are formed on the basis of personal connections and are not limited by official boundaries.

From the point of view of joint activities, interpersonal relationships are divided into business and personal. In business relationships, work, service or production duties are at the forefront. In the case of personal relationships, relationships that are not related to joint activities, based on subjectively experienced feelings, come to the fore. These include acquaintance, camaraderie, friendship and intimate relationships, the degree of trust of which is on the rise.

Also, interpersonal relationships can be rational and emotional. In the first case, logic, reason and calculation prevail. In the second - emotions, affection, attractiveness, perception without taking into account objective information about the individual.

From the point of view of the status of people entering into interpersonal relationships, the connections between them can be of a subordinate or parity nature. Subordination implies inequality, the relationship of leadership and subordination. Parity, on the contrary, is based on the equality of individuals, while the participants in the relationship act as independent individuals.

Interpersonal relationships can bring the joy of communication, make life emotionally fulfilling and give peace of mind. On the other hand, they can bring frustration and depression. How effectively the development of interpersonal relationships will take place in a particular individual depends on his skills for effective communication, the ability to perceive people without prejudice, as well as psychological and emotional maturity. And if it seems that you are far from acquiring these skills, do not despair, because by showing perseverance and setting a goal, you will be able to develop all the necessary qualities in yourself.

Lecture plan:

1. The concept of "interpersonal relations".

2. Attraction.

3. Compatibility.

Basic concepts: public relations, interpersonal relations, social distance, interpersonal distance, attraction, compatibility.

1. In social psychology, there are two main types of relationships: social and interpersonal.

Public relations- these are official, formally fixed, objectified, effective ties. They are leading in the regulation of all types of relations, including interpersonal ones. Public relations are impersonal; their essence is not in the interaction of specific personalities, but rather in the interaction of specific social roles.

Interpersonal relationships- these are objectively experienced, to varying degrees, perceived relationships between people. They are based on a variety of emotional states of interacting people. Unlike business (instrumental) relationships, which can be both officially fixed and loose, interpersonal relationships are sometimes called expressive, emphasizing their emotional content. Interpersonal relations are the actual reality of social relations: outside of them there are no “pure” social relations somewhere. Therefore, in almost all group activities, their participants act as if in two qualities: as performers of an impersonal social role and as unique human personalities.

Interpersonal relations include three elements - cognitive (gnostic, informational), affective and behavioral (practical, regulatory).

cognitive element involves awareness of what one likes or dislikes in interpersonal relationships.

affective aspect finds its expression in various emotional experiences of people about the relationships between them. The emotional component is usually the leading one. “These are, first of all, positive and negative emotional states, conflict states (intrapersonal, interpersonal), emotional sensitivity, satisfaction with oneself, partner, work, etc.” (Obozov, 1979, p. 5).

Behavioral Component interpersonal relations is realized in concrete actions. If one of the partners likes the other, the behavior will be friendly, aimed at helping and productive cooperation. If the object is not cute, then the interactive side of communication will be difficult. Between these behavioral poles there are a large number of forms of interaction, the implementation of which is determined by the socio-cultural norms of the groups to which the communicants belong.

Interpersonal relationships are built along the "vertical" (between the leader and subordinates and vice versa) and "horizontal" (between persons occupying the same status). Emotional manifestations of interpersonal connections are determined by the sociocultural norms of the groups to which the communicants belong, and by individual differences that vary within these norms. Interpersonal relationships can be formed from positions of dominance-equality-submission and dependence-independence.

social distance implies such a combination of official and interpersonal relations, which determines the proximity of those communicating, corresponding to the sociocultural norms of the communities to which they belong. Social distance allows you to maintain an adequate level of breadth and depth of relationships when establishing interpersonal relationships. Its violation leads initially to disjunctive interpersonal relations (up to 52% in power relations, and up to 33% in equal-status relations), and then to conflicts (Obozov, 1979).

Psychological distance characterizes the degree of closeness of interpersonal relations between communication partners (friendly, comradely, friendly, trusting). In our opinion, this concept emphasizes a certain stage in the dynamics of the development of interpersonal relations.

2. People not only perceive each other, but they also form certain relationships with each other that give rise to a diverse range of feelings - from rejection of a particular person to sympathy, even love for him. The area of ​​research related to the elucidation of the mechanisms of formation of various emotional attitudes towards a perceived person is called research. attractions.

attraction- this is the process of forming the attractiveness of a person for the perceiver, and the product of this process, i.e. some quality of attitude (G.M. Andreeva). Interpersonal attractiveness is a complex psychological property of a person, which, as it were, “attracts” a communication partner and involuntarily arouses a feeling of sympathy in him. The charm of a person allows her to win over people. The attractiveness of a person depends on his physical and social appearance, ability to empathize, etc.

Interpersonal attractiveness contributes to the development of interpersonal relationships, causes a cognitive, emotional and behavioral response in a partner. The phenomenon of interpersonal attractiveness in friendly couples is thoroughly disclosed in the studies of N.N. Obozova.

Attraction can be considered as a special kind of social attitude (attitude) towards another person, in which the emotional component predominates, when this “other” is evaluated mainly in categories characteristic of affective assessments (L.Ya. Gozman).

Attraction affects the nature of the processes of intragroup interaction (the number of altruistic actions increases, mutual assistance develops); contributes to the creation of a psychologically comfortable, creative atmosphere in the group, increasing the level of conformity and imitation; facilitates entry into a group of beginners, contributing to a faster mastery of the necessary knowledge and skills and the transfer of experience from one member of the group to another. The emergence of attraction between partners has a positive effect on communication: communication is easier, in interaction, the readiness to support each other is more manifested, when building the image of a partner, attribution of positive qualities prevails; in the group - the establishment of psychological comfort.

Different levels of attraction are distinguished: sympathy, friendship, love. Sympathy- emotional positive attitude to the subject of interaction. Friendship- a type of stable, individually selective interpersonal relations, characterized by the mutual attachment of their participants. Love is the highest degree of emotionally positive attitude towards a person based on an extremely high assessment of his merits, attraction to him, striving to become personally the most significant for him.

3 . concept compatibility quite widely and has long been used by psychologists, physicians, biologists, philosophers, etc. This concept has found its application in many areas of modern science. However, as an interpersonal phenomenon, it began to be studied only from the beginning of the 50s of the 20th century.

In relation to socio-psychological phenomena, compatibility is considered as “the unity of views and attitudes, needs and value systems of two or more members of the team, the synchronism of their psychomotor reactions, the same level of excitation and inhibition, the similarity in attention and thinking, the level of motivation and intelligence, as well as in a number of other mental qualities.

For most foreign definitions of compatibility, one common feature is characteristic - focusing on the problem of satisfying needs or behavioral traits. Thus, W.C. Schutz defines compatibility as a characteristic of a relationship between two or more persons, between an individual and a role, or between an individual and a work situation, and resulting in mutual satisfaction of individual or interpersonal needs and harmonious coexistence.

The main signs of compatibility, according to many researchers, are:

§ an indicator of successful joint performance of a professional task,

§ satisfaction from communication as a consequence of consistency,

§ Satisfaction from communication as a result of the fact that partners have characterological features of the personality that are favorable for joint activities.

The process of compatibility, according to K.K. Platonov, as the inclusion of mental and social processes becomes more and more complex. And therefore, all existing and distinguished types of compatibility can be considered as a hierarchical system of levels, the highest of which is socio-psychological, and the lowest is physiological. Of all the distinguished levels of compatibility, only the highest - the socio-psychological one - can be consciously regulated. Only the inclusion of consciousness and the emotional-volitional sphere in the regulation of interaction ensures the compatibility of people to a greater or lesser extent. It will depend on the specific type of relationship what levels of compatibility will be included in the regulation of the joint activities of partners. It should be noted that as the interconnectedness of participants in joint activities increases, an increasing number of levels of compatibility will be included. The hierarchy of compatibility levels, according to K.K. Plato's is quite complex. It suggests that the more general and higher levels can influence the lower ones.

K.K. Platonov distinguishes four types of compatibility: physiological, psychophysiological, psychological and socio-psychological.

N.N. Convoys, considering the problem of compatibility, does not highlight its levels or types. However, in relation to socio-psychological research, he proposes to distinguish between the concepts of "compatibility" and "workability". Compatibility and interoperability do not have clear distinctions. According to N.N. Obozova, these are two sides of one of the phenomena of human interaction.

Workability- this is the consistency of the characteristics of the subjects, which provides them with the effective implementation of any joint activity. The concept of workability is therefore applicable only to business, professional relations - relations within the framework of joint activities. The phenomenon of compatibility, in contrast to reciprocity, is an interpersonal phenomenon that exists within the framework of personal relationships based on sympathy, attraction and which serves "communication for the sake of communication." According to N.N. Obozov, compatibility is both a condition for the emergence of interpersonal sympathies and the result of already established positive relationships.

Similar information.

For the first time in Russian literature, interpersonal (interpersonal) relationships were analyzed in 1975 in the book Social Psychology.

The problem of interpersonal relations in domestic and foreign psychological science has been studied to a certain extent. The monograph by N. N. Obozov (1979) summarizes the results of empirical studies of domestic and foreign specialists. This is the most profound and detailed study and currently retains its relevance. In subsequent publications, little attention is paid to the problem of interpersonal relations. Abroad, this problem is analyzed in reference books on social psychology. The most interesting joint study by T. Huston and G. Levinger is "Interpersonal attractiveness and interpersonal relationships" (Huston, Levinger, 1978), which has not lost its significance at the present time.

Many works are now appearing in the press that deal with the problems of interpersonal and business contacts (business communication) and give practical recommendations for their optimization (Deryabo and Yasvin, 1996; Evening, 1996; Kuzin, 1996). Some of these publications are a popular presentation of the results of psychological research, sometimes without references and a list of references.

The concept of interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relations are closely related to various types of social relations. G. M. Andreeva emphasizes that the existence of interpersonal relations within various forms of social relations is the realization of impersonal (social) relations in the activities of specific people, in the acts of their communication and interaction (Andreeva, 1999).

Public relations are official, formally fixed, objectified, effective connections. They are leading in the regulation of all types of relations, including interpersonal ones.

Interpersonal relationships- these are objectively experienced, to varying degrees, perceived relationships between people. They are based on a variety of emotional states of interacting people. Unlike business (instrumental) relationships, which can be both officially fixed and loose, interpersonal relationships are sometimes called expressive, emphasizing their emotional content. The relationship of business and interpersonal relations in scientific terms is not well developed.

Interpersonal relations include three elements - cognitive (gnostic, informational), affective and behavioral (practical, regulatory).

cognitive element involves awareness of what one likes or dislikes in interpersonal relationships.

affective aspect finds its expression in various emotional experiences of people about the relationships between them. The emotional component is usually the leading one. “These are, first of all, positive and negative emotional states, conflict states (intrapersonal, interpersonal), emotional sensitivity, satisfaction with oneself, partner, work, etc.” (Obozov, 1979, p. 5).

The emotional content of interpersonal relationships (sometimes called valency) changes in two opposite directions: from conjunctive (positive, bringing together) to indifferent (neutral) and disjunctive (negative, separating) and vice versa. Variants of manifestations of interpersonal relationships are huge. Conjunctive feelings are manifested in various forms of positive emotions and states, the demonstration of which indicates a readiness for rapprochement and joint activity. Indifferent feelings suggest manifestations of a neutral attitude towards a partner. This includes indifference, indifference, indifference, etc. Disjunctive feelings are expressed in the manifestation of various forms of negative emotions and a state that is regarded by the partner as a lack of readiness for further rapprochement and communication. In some cases, the emotional content of interpersonal relationships can be ambivalent (contradictory).

Conventional manifestations of emotions and feelings in the forms and methods characteristic of those groups whose representatives enter into interpersonal contacts can, on the one hand, contribute to mutual understanding of those who communicate, and, on the other hand, hinder interaction (for example, if the communicants belong to different ethnic, professional, social and other groups and use various non-verbal means of communication).

Behavioral the component of interpersonal relations is realized in specific actions. If one of the partners likes the other, the behavior will be friendly, aimed at helping and productive cooperation. If the object is not cute, then the interactive side of communication will be difficult. Between these behavioral poles there are a large number of forms of interaction, the implementation of which is determined by the socio-cultural norms of the groups to which the communicants belong.

Interpersonal relationships are built along the "vertical" (between the leader and subordinates and vice versa) and "horizontal" (between persons occupying the same status). Emotional manifestations of interpersonal connections are determined by the sociocultural norms of the groups to which the communicants belong, and by individual differences that vary within these norms. Interpersonal relationships can be formed from positions of dominance-equality-submission and dependence-independence.

social distance implies such a combination of official and interpersonal relations, which determines the proximity of those communicating, corresponding to the sociocultural norms of the communities to which they belong. Social distance allows you to maintain an adequate level of breadth and depth of relationships when establishing interpersonal relationships. Its violation leads initially to disjunctive interpersonal relations (up to 52% in power relations, and up to 33% in equal-status relations), and then to conflicts (Obozov, 1979).

Psychological distance characterizes the degree of closeness of interpersonal relations between communication partners (friendly, comradely, friendly, trusting). In our opinion, this concept emphasizes a certain stage in the dynamics of the development of interpersonal relations.

Interpersonal Compatibility- this is the optimal combination of the psychological characteristics of partners, contributing to the optimization of their communication and activities. As equivalent words, "harmonization", "consistency", "consolidation", etc. are used. Interpersonal compatibility is based on the principles of similarity and complementarity. Its indicators are satisfaction with the joint interaction and its result. The secondary result is the emergence of mutual sympathy. The opposite phenomenon of compatibility is incompatibility, and the feelings caused by it are antipathy. Interpersonal compatibility is considered as a state, process and result (Obozov, 1979). It develops within the space-time framework and specific conditions (normal, extreme, etc.) that influence its manifestation. To determine interpersonal compatibility, hardware and technical methods and a homeostat are used.

Interpersonal attractiveness- this is a complex psychological property of a person, which, as it were, “attracts” a communication partner and involuntarily arouses in him a feeling of sympathy. The charm of a person allows her to win over people. The attractiveness of a person depends on his physical and social appearance, ability to empathize, etc.

Interpersonal attractiveness contributes to the development of interpersonal relationships, causes a cognitive, emotional and behavioral response in a partner. The phenomenon of interpersonal attractiveness in friendly couples is thoroughly disclosed in the studies of N. N. Obozov.

In scientific and popular literature, such a concept is often used as "emotional attraction"- the ability of a person to understand the mental states of a communication partner and especially to: empathize with him. The latter (the ability to empathize) is manifested in the responsiveness of feelings to various states of the partner. This concept is somewhat narrower than "interpersonal attractiveness".

In our opinion, interpersonal attractiveness has not been studied scientifically enough. At the same time, from applied positions, this concept is studied as a phenomenon of the formation of a certain image. In domestic science, this approach has been actively developed after 1991, when there was a real need for psychological recommendations for the formation of the image (image) of a politician or a business person. Publications on this issue provide advice on creating an attractive image of a politician (in appearance, voice, use of verbal and non-verbal means of communication, etc.). Specialists on this problem appeared - image makers. For psychologists, this problem seems promising.

Taking into account the practical significance of the problem of interpersonal attractiveness in educational institutions where psychologists are trained, it is advisable to introduce a special course "Formation of the image of a psychologist." This will allow graduates to better prepare for their future work, look more attractive in the eyes of clients and establish the necessary contacts.

The concept of "attraction" is closely related to interpersonal attractiveness. Some researchers consider attraction as a process and at the same time the result of the attractiveness of one person for another; identify levels in it (sympathy, friendship, love) and associate it with the perceptual side of communication (Andreeva, 1999). Others believe that attraction is a kind of social attitude, in which a positive emotional component prevails (Gozman, 1987). V, N. Kunitsyna understands attraction as the process of preferring some people to others, mutual attraction between people, mutual sympathy. In her opinion, attraction is due to external factors (the degree of severity of a person's need for affiliation, the emotional state of communication partners, the spatial proximity of the place of residence or work of those communicating) and internal, actually interpersonal determinants (physical attractiveness, demonstrated behavior style, similarity factor between partners, expression of a personal relationship to a partner in the process of communication) (Kunitsyna, Kazarinova, Pogolsha, 2001). As can be seen from the foregoing, the ambiguity of the concept of "attraction" and its overlapping with other phenomena makes it difficult to use this term and explains the lack of research in Russian psychology. This concept is borrowed from Anglo-American psychology and is covered by the domestic term "interpersonal attractiveness". In this regard, it seems appropriate to use these terms as equivalent.

Under the concept "attraction" understands the need of one person to be together with another who has certain characteristics that receive a positive assessment of the perceiver. It denotes an experienced sympathy for another person. Attraction can be unidirectional and bidirectional (Obozov. 1979). Opposite concept "repulsion" (negation) associated with the psychological characteristics of the communication partner, which are perceived and evaluated negatively; Therefore, the partner causes negative emotions.

Personality features that affect the formation of interpersonal relationships. A favorable prerequisite for the successful formation of interpersonal relationships is the mutual awareness of partners about each other, formed on the basis of interpersonal knowledge. The development of interpersonal relationships is largely determined by the characteristics of those who communicate. These include gender, age, nationality, temperament properties, health status, profession, experience in communicating with people and some personal characteristics.

Floor. The peculiarity of interpersonal relations between the sexes is manifested already in childhood. Compared to girls, boys are more active in contacts, participate in collective games, and interact with peers even in childhood. This pattern is also observed in adult men. Girls tend to communicate in a narrower circle. They establish relationships with those they like. The content of the joint activity is not very important for them (for boys, on the contrary). Women have a much smaller social circle than men. In interpersonal communication, they experience a much greater need for self-disclosure, the transfer of personal information about themselves to others. More often they complain of loneliness (Kon, 1987).

For women, the features that are manifested in interpersonal relationships are more significant, and for men - business qualities,

In interpersonal relationships, female steel is aimed at reducing social distance and establishing psychological closeness with people. In friendships, women emphasize trust, emotional support, and intimacy. “Friendships among women are less stable. The intimacy inherent in female friendship on a very wide range of issues, the discussion of the nuances of one's own relationships complicates them ”(Kon, 1987, p. 267). Divergence, misunderstanding and emotionality undermine women's interpersonal relationships.

In men, interpersonal relationships are characterized by greater emotional restraint and objectivity. They open up more easily to strangers. Their style of interpersonal relations is aimed at maintaining their image in the eyes of a communication partner, showing their achievements and claims. In friendships, men record a sense of camaraderie and mutual support.

Age. The need for emotional warmth appears in infancy and with age gradually turns into a varying degree of awareness of the psychological attachment of children to people who create psychological comfort for them (Kon, 1987, 1989). With age, people gradually lose the openness inherent in youth in interpersonal relationships. Numerous sociocultural norms (especially professional and ethnic ones) are superimposed on their behavior. The circle of contacts is especially narrowed after the entry of young people into marriage and the appearance of children in the family. Numerous interpersonal relationships are reduced and manifested in the industrial and related spheres. In middle age, as children grow older, interpersonal relationships expand again. In older and advanced age, interpersonal relationships acquire weight. The ego is explained by the fact that children have grown up and have their own attachments, active labor activity ends, the social circle narrows sharply. In old age, old friendships play a special role.

Nationality. Ethnic norms determine sociability, the framework of behavior, the rules for the formation of interpersonal relationships. In different ethnic communities, interpersonal ties are built taking into account the position of a person in society, gender and age status, belonging to social strata and religious groups, etc.

Some properties temperament influence the formation of interpersonal relationships. It has been experimentally established that choleric and sanguine people easily establish contacts, while phlegmatic and melancholic people have difficulty. Consolidation of interpersonal relationships in pairs "choleric with choleric", "sanguine with sanguine" and "choleric with sanguine" is difficult. Stable interpersonal connections are formed in pairs of "melancholic with phlegmatic", "melancholic with sanguine" and "phlegmatic sanguine" (Obozov, 1979).

Health status. External physical defects, as a rule, negatively affect the "I-concept" and ultimately make it difficult to form interpersonal relationships.

Temporary illnesses affect the sociability and stability of interpersonal contacts. Diseases of the thyroid gland, various neuroses, etc., associated with increased excitability, irritability, anxiety, mental instability, etc. - all this, as it were, “rocks” interpersonal relationships and negatively affects them.

Profession. Interpersonal relationships are formed in all spheres of human life, but the most stable are those. that result from joint labor activity. In the course of performing functional duties, not only business contacts are consolidated, but also interpersonal relationships are born and develop, which later acquire a multilateral and deep character. If, by the nature of professional activity, a person has to constantly communicate with people, then he has the skills and abilities to establish interpersonal contacts (for example, lawyers, journalists, etc.).

Experience with people promotes the acquisition of sustainable skills and abilities of interpersonal relationships based on social norms of regulation with representatives of different groups in society (Bobneva, 1978). The experience of communication allows you to practically master and apply a variety of norms of communication with different people and form social control over the manifestation of your emotions.

Self-esteem. Adequate self-assessment allows a person to objectively assess their characteristics and correlate them with the individual psychological qualities of a communication partner, with the situation, choose the appropriate style of interpersonal relationships and correct it if necessary.

Inflated self-esteem introduces elements of arrogance and condescension into interpersonal relationships. If a communication partner is satisfied with this style of interpersonal relations, then they will be quite stable, otherwise they become tense.

Low self-esteem of the individual forces her to adapt to the style of interpersonal relationships that are offered by a communication partner. At the same time, this can introduce a certain mental tension into interpersonal relationships due to the internal discomfort of the individual.

The need for communication, establishing interpersonal contacts with people is a fundamental characteristic of a person. At the same time, there are people among people whose need for trusting communication (affiliation) and mercy (altruism) is somewhat overestimated. Friendly interpersonal relationships are most often formed with one person or several persons, and affiliation and altruism, as a rule, manifest themselves to many people. Research results show that helping behavior is found in people who have empathy, a high level of self-control and tend to make independent decisions. Indicators of affiliative behavior are positive verbal statements, prolonged eye contact, friendly facial expressions, increased manifestation of verbal and non-verbal signs of consent, confidential phone calls, etc. relations. In the course of the research, personal qualities that make it difficult development of interpersonal relationships. The first group included narcissism, arrogance, arrogance, complacency and vanity. The second group includes dogmatism, a constant tendency to disagree with a partner. The third group included duplicity and insincerity (Kunitsyna, Kazarinova, Pogolsha, 2001)

The process of forming interpersonal relationships. It includes the dynamics, the mechanism of regulation (empathy) and the conditions for their development.

The dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships are born, consolidated, reach a certain maturity, after which they can weaken and then stop. They develop in a continuum, have a certain dynamics.

In his works, N. N. Obozov explores the main types of interpersonal relationships, but does not consider their dynamics. American researchers also distinguish several categories of groups based on the proximity of interpersonal relationships (acquaintances, good friends, close friends and best friends), but they analyze them somewhat in isolation, without revealing the course of their development (Huston, Levinger, 1978).

The dynamics of the development of interpersonal relations in the time continuum goes through several stages (stages): acquaintance, friendly, comradely and friendly relations. The process of weakening interpersonal relations in the "reverse" direction has the same dynamics (transition from friendly to comradely, friendly and then there is a termination of relations). The duration of each stage depends on many components of interpersonal relationships.

Dating process is carried out depending on the socio-cultural and professional norms of the society to which the future communication partners belong.

friendly relations form readiness - unpreparedness for the further development of interpersonal relations. If a positive attitude is formed among the partners, then this is a favorable prerequisite for further communication.

Companionship enable interpersonal contact. Here there is a rapprochement of views and support for each other (at this stage, concepts such as “act in a comradely way”, “comrade in arms”, etc.) are used. Interpersonal relationships at this stage are characterized by stability and certain mutual trust. Numerous popular publications on the optimization of interpersonal relationships give recommendations on the use of various techniques that allow you to arouse the disposition, sympathy of communication partners (Snell, 1990; Deryabo, Yasvin, 1996; Kuzin, 1996),

When researching friendship (trust) relationship the most interesting and profound results were obtained by I. S. Kon, N. N. Obozov, and T. P. Skripkina (Obozov, 1979; Kon, 1987, 1989; Skripkina, 1997). According to I. S. Kohn, friendships always have a common substantive content - a commonality of interests, goals of activity, in the name of which friends unite (combine), and at the same time imply mutual affection (Kon, 1987).

Despite the similarity of views, the provision of emotional and activity support to each other, there may be certain disagreements between friends. It is possible to single out utilitarian (instrumental-business, practically effective) and emotionally expressive (emotional-confessional) friendship. Friendly relations manifest themselves in various forms: from interpersonal sympathy to mutual need for communication. Such relationships can develop both in a formal setting and in an informal one. Friendly relations, in comparison with comradely ones, are characterized by greater depth and trust (Kon, 1987). Friends frankly discuss with each other many aspects of their life, including the personal characteristics of communicating and mutual acquaintances.

An important characteristic of friendships is trust. T. P. Skripkina in her research reveals the empirical correlates of people's trust in other people and in themselves (Skripkina, 1997).

Interesting results on the problem of trusting relationships were obtained in a study conducted under the supervision of V. N. Kunitsyna on a student sample. “Confidence relationships in the surveyed group prevail over dependency relationships. A third of the respondents define their relationship with their mother as trusting, partnership; more than half of them believe that, for all that, dependency relationships often arise with their mother, while relationships with a friend are assessed only as trusting and partnering. It turned out that the relationship of dependence with one significant person is often compensated by building partnerships with another significant person. If, in the course of gaining experience, a person has formed insufficient hope for establishing close relationships with people, then relationships of trust and support often arise with a friend than with a mother ”(Kunitsyna. Kazarinova, Pogolsha, 2001). Friendships can be weakened and terminated if one of the friends fails to keep the secrets entrusted to him, does not protect the friend in his absence, and is also jealous of his other relationships (Argyle, 1990).

Friendly relations in young years are accompanied by intense contacts, psychological richness and greater significance. At the same time, a sense of humor and sociability are highly valued.

Adults in friendships value responsiveness, honesty, and social accessibility more. Friendships at this age are more stable. “In active middle age, the emphasis on psychological intimacy as the most important sign of friendship weakens somewhat and friendships lose their halo of totality” (Kon, 1987, p. 251),

Friendships among the older generation are mostly associated with family ties and people who have the same life experience and values ​​with them.

The problem of criteria for friendly relations has not been studied enough. Some researchers refer to them as mutual assistance, fidelity and psychological closeness, others point to the competence in communicating with partners, caring for them, actions and predictability of behavior.

Empathy as a mechanism for the development of interpersonal relationships. Empathy is the response of one person to the experiences of another. Some researchers believe that this is an emotional process, others - an emotional and cognitive process. There are conflicting opinions about whether a given phenomenon is a process or a property.

N. N. Obozov considers empathy as a process (mechanism) and includes cognitive, emotional and effective components in it. According to him, empathy has three levels.

The hierarchical structural-dynamic model is based on cognitive empathy (first level), manifested in the form of understanding the mental state of another person without changing their state.

The second level of empathy involves emotional empathy, not only in the form of understanding the state of another person, but also empathy and sympathy for him, empathic response. This form of empathy includes two options. The first is connected with the simplest empathy, which is based on the need for one's own well-being. Another, transitional form from emotional to effective empathy, finds its expression in the form of sympathy, which is based on the need for the well-being of another person.

The third level of empathy- the highest form, including cognitive, emotional and behavioral components. It fully expresses interpersonal identification, which is not only mental (perceived and understood) and sensual (empathetic), but also effective. At this level of empathy, real actions and behavioral acts are manifested to provide assistance and support to a communication partner (sometimes such the style of behavior is called helping). There are complex interdependencies between the three forms of empathy (Obozov, 1979). In the presented approach, the second and third levels of empathy (emotional and effective) are convincingly and logically substantiated. At the same time, its first level (cognitive empathy), associated with understanding the state of other people without changing one's state), is, in our opinion, a purely cognitive process.

As evidenced by the results of experimental studies in Russia and abroad, sympathy is one of the main forms of manifestation of empathy. It is due to the principle of similarity of certain biosocial characteristics of communicating people. The principle of similarity is presented in numerous works by I. S. Kon, N. N. Obozov. T, P. Gavrilova, F, Haider, T. Newcomb, L. Festinger, C. Osgood and P. Tannenbaum.

If the principle of similarity is not manifested in those who communicate, then this indicates indifference of feelings. When they have a discrepancy and especially a contradiction, this leads to disharmony (imbalance) in cognitive structures and leads to the appearance of antipathy.

As the results of research show, most often interpersonal relationships are based on the principle of similarity (similarity), and sometimes on the principle of complementarity. The latter is expressed in the fact that, for example, when choosing comrades, friends, future spouses, etc., people unconsciously, and sometimes consciously, choose such persons who can satisfy mutual needs. Based on this, positive interpersonal relationships can develop.

The manifestation of sympathy can intensify the transition from one stage of interpersonal relationships to another, as well as expand and deepen interpersonal relationships. Sympathy, like antipathy, can be unidirectional (without reciprocity) and multidirectional (with reciprocity).

Very close to the concept of "empathy" concept "synthotost", which is understood as the ability to join the emotional life of another person, due to the need for emotional contact. In the domestic literature, this concept is quite rare.

Various forms of empathy are based on a person's sensitivity to their own and other worlds. In the course of the development of empathy as a personality trait, emotional responsiveness and the ability to predict the emotional state of people are formed. Empathy can be conscious to varying degrees. It can be possessed by one or both communication partners. The level of empathy was experimentally determined in the studies of T. P. Gavrilova and N. N. Obozov. Persons with a high level of empathy show interest in other people, are plastic, emotional and optimistic. Persons with a low level of empathy are characterized by difficulties in establishing contacts, introversion, rigidity and self-centeredness.

Empathy can manifest itself not only in real communication between people, but also in the perception of works of fine art, in the theater, etc.

Empathy as a mechanism for the formation of interpersonal relationships contributes to their development and stabilization, allows you to provide support to a partner not only in ordinary, but also in difficult, extreme conditions, when he especially needs it. Based on the mechanism of empathy, emotional and business imposing becomes possible.

Conditions for the development of interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships are formed under certain conditions that affect their dynamics, breadth and depth (Ross, Nisbett, 1999).

In urban conditions, compared with rural areas, there is a rather high pace of life, frequent changes in places of work and residence, and a high level of public control. As a result - a large number of interpersonal contacts, their short duration and the manifestation of functional-role communication. This leads to the fact that interpersonal relationships in the city make higher psychological demands on the partner. In order to maintain close ties, those who communicate often have to pay with the loss of personal time, mental overload, material resources, etc.

Studies abroad show that the more often people meet, the more attractive they seem to each other. Apparently, and vice versa, the less often acquaintances meet, the faster interpersonal relations between them are weakened and terminated. Spatial proximity especially affects interpersonal relationships in children. When parents move or children move from one school to another, their contacts usually cease.

Important in the formation of interpersonal relationships are the specific conditions in which people communicate. First of all, this is due to the types of joint activities, during which interpersonal contacts are established (study, work, recreation), with the situation (normal or extreme), ethnic environment (mono- or multi-ethnic), material resources, etc.

It is well known that interpersonal relationships develop rapidly (go through all stages up to trust) in certain places (for example, in a hospital, a train to others). This phenomenon, apparently, is due to a strong dependence on external factors, short-term joint life activity and spatial proximity. Unfortunately, comparative studies on interpersonal relationships in these conditions are not very many in our country.

The significance of the time factor in interpersonal relationships depends on the particular socio-cultural environment in which they develop (Ross, Nisbett, 1999).

The time factor influences differently in the ethnic environment. In Eastern cultures, the development of interpersonal relations is, as it were, stretched out in time, while in Western cultures it is “compressed”, dynamic. Works representing studies of the influence of the time factor on interpersonal relationships are almost never found in our literature.

To measure various aspects of interpersonal relationships, there are numerous methods and tests. Among them are the diagnostics of interpersonal relations by T. Leary (dominance-submission, friendliness-aggression), the Q-sorting method (dependence-independence, sociability-non-sociability, acceptance of struggle-avoidance of struggle), the test of behavior description by C. Thomas (rivalry, cooperation , compromise, avoidance, adaptation), J. Moreno's method of interpersonal preferences for measuring sociometric status in a group (preference-rejection), A. Megrabyan and N. Epstein's questionnaire of empathic tendencies. V. V. Boyko’s empathic abilities level method, I. M. Yusupov’s method for measuring the level of empathic tendencies, V. N. Kunitsyna’s author’s methods, V. Azarov’s questionnaire method for studying impulsiveness and volitional regulation in communication, V. F. Ryakhovsky and others.

The problem of interpersonal relations in domestic and foreign psychological science has been studied to a certain extent. There is very little scientific research on interpersonal relationships at present. Promising problems are: compatibility in business and interpersonal relationships, social distance in them, trust in different types of interpersonal relationships and its criteria, as well as the peculiarity of interpersonal relationships in various types of professional activities in a market economy.

Interpersonal relationships - the relationship and mutual influence of people. The psychology of interpersonal interaction is determined by the social positions of the communicants, the system of their meaning formation, and the ability for socio-psychological reflection. Interpersonal interaction is conditioned by psychological mechanisms of social perception and causal attribution.

social perception- social conditioning of the perception of social objects - people, ethnic groups, etc. In this case, the so-called attribution(from lat. cause- reason and attribute- I give, endow) - a subjective explanation of the causes and motives of the behavior of other people, the interpretation of their personal qualities.

There are stable attitudes of people towards each other - attitudes. The perceived social object is included in the semantic system of connections that a given person has. With the similarity or complementarity of individual qualities, communicating people have positive attitudes; with unacceptable qualities, psychological incompatibility - negative attitudes.

The perceived social object is also not passive - it seeks to create a certain impression, forms its own certain image - image, which reflects the social expectations of certain social groups and ensures the success of the interaction. By influencing a communication partner, people, as a rule, seek to create an impression that is favorable for achieving their goals. At the same time, the reasons for individual behavioral acts of the partner are sensitively analyzed.

Upon receipt of conflicting information about the subject of communication, a state may arise cognitive dissonance. In these cases, a person tends to any one categorical conclusion - the cognitive structure of the individual strives for balance.

The appearance of a person is interpreted as a complex of numerous information signals about his national and social affiliation, mental qualities, level of culture, etc. Perceiving each other, people draw conclusions about the character and mental state of the partner, his communicative and activity qualities.

If the first impression of a person is favorable, then there is a tendency for a positive assessment of all his subsequent actions (""). If the first impression is negative, associated with unpleasant manifestations in the behavior of the individual, then in the assessment of her subsequent behavior, as a rule, a negative trend (“negative halo effect”) will prevail.

Assessments of the behavior of other people are not only hasty, biased, but also illogical. Certain causes of behavior are exaggerated or downplayed. Estimates and self-assessments of men and women are not identical. Men, as a rule, characterize themselves and others in terms of qualities, women in terms of states. Women tend to explain their features by situational factors.

Even mimic emotional manifestations are interpreted differently by men and women. Where women see outrage, men see determination. The more multidimensional the personality structure of an individual, the more plastic his relationship with reality and the more multidimensional vision of the world, the less he is inclined to polar assessments. Limited individuals primitivize social objects.

Various evaluation criteria are updated in the conditions of cooperation and confrontation. In a conflict, the focus is on identifying the enemy's weak points. The different status position of the subjects of communication also determines the nature of their mutual assessments. The boss appreciates the subordinate for some qualities, and the subordinate boss for others. The external signs of a leader are evaluated especially carefully. Signs that are significant for the subordinate are highlighted.

In each more or less typical situation, people expect certain behavioral manifestations from each other. Justification of these expectations causes satisfaction, non-justification - a feeling of annoyance, disappointment and hostility. People love confirmation of their high-probability predictions.

Most people behave in accordance with their behavioral attitudes. Planning a certain result of communication in advance, they provoke it with their behavior. A touchy person usually behaves as if he has already been offended, and an aggressive person will not miss a reason not to “fight back”. People bring to the fore those qualities that they value most in themselves. Often they dress up in other people's "behavioral skins", imitating indisputable authorities. Often, "trial balloons" are also launched - behavioral techniques that provoke the desired behavior of a partner.

About 70% of information about communication partners a person receives from external, directly observable features of behavior: according to mimic, pantomimic, tempo-rhythmic, vocal-intonation characteristics. But not everyone succeeds in their correct "reading". Many of the external behavioral manifestations of a person are conditional, they are understandable only if the code of the behavioral flair used is known.

Human behavior can be compared to the sound of a large orchestra - many instruments participate in its behavior, but they all play the music that this individual needs.

The external aspects of behavior often only mask the true motives and goals of behavior. Only special diagnostic methods (content analysis, factor analysis, personality tests, group personality assessment method, etc.) make it possible to reveal the objective essence of subjective behavioral manifestations.

Certain impressions are formed on the basis of a person's external expression of his emotions (posture, facial expressions, movements). However, here too, one should beware of hasty judgments. You can understand another person only by analyzing his behavior in various conditions, when situational masks are dropped. Often communication between close people is more difficult than communication with people unfamiliar. This is because the better we know a person, the more we know what is unacceptable to them. People who have a common value orientation understand each other better. But only a spiritual community is the basis of a lasting unity.

Each person has their own scale of measurement of other people. Knowing another person in the process of communication, the individual determines the possible strategy of his behavior and strives to adequately build his own behavioral strategy. At the same time, how this strategy will be evaluated by the communication partner is also taken into account - there is a phenomenon social reflection. People make sure that their image takes its rightful place in the inner world of those with whom they actively interact.

When Ivanov talks with Petrov, the shadows of eight people hover in this atmosphere: No. 1 - Ivanov, as he really is; No. 2 - Ivanov, as he presents himself; No. 3 - Ivanov, as Petrov perceives him; No. 4 - Ivanov, how he presents his image in the mind of Petrov; No. 5 - Petrov, as he really is; No. 6 - Petrov, as he presents himself; No. 7 - Petrov, how he perceives Ivanov; No. 8 - Petrov, as he presents his image in the mind of Ivanov.

Often, the effectiveness of communication is sharply reduced due to a misunderstanding of the motives of the behavior of partners, and even more often due to their incorrect interpretation. Mutual claims and grievances arise, unfair assessments are expressed. Attributed characteristics (attributions) often depend on previously formed biased assessments.

In the process of communication, people strive to assert their merits.- to "stroking", in the words of Eric Berne, who considers these "strokes" to be a unit of social action. At the same time, they resort to their typical communication schemes: they take the position of “parent”, “adult” or “child”. Taking the position of "parent", people imitate the patterns of behavior learned by them from their parents. But in each person a certain measure of childishness and childishness is also manifested. Adequate behavior - behavior on the type of "adult". In situations of increased responsibility, the “adult” must control both the “parent” and the “child”.

Productive business communication occurs when it is carried out in the same pattern(for example, "adult" - "adult"). The implementation of interpersonal relationships involves the expected response. It becomes, in turn, an incentive for further communication. If the stimulus is initially designed for an adequate pattern of partner behavior, but in reality the reaction is carried out according to a cross pattern (for example, “parent” - “adult” or “adult” - “child”), then conflicts arise in communication.

Different individuals have a tendency to favorite topics of communication. This creates the basis for establishing psychological contact with them. In the process of communication, it is necessary to take into account the type of personality, its appeal to a wide field of reality or partiality to an in-depth analysis of its individual manifestations. The attitudes and role positions of the communicants are also significant.

The life positions of an individual depend on his past, autobiographical events, personal compensatory tendencies. These positions are jealously guarded, asserted and defended. Many people are overcome by a thirst for recognition and exaltation. Knowing each other's weaknesses, communication partners use various "baits", "levers" that provide the desired responses. Of course, variants of sincere, disinterested interpersonal relations, relations of bilateral closeness and trust are also possible. However, often in communication there are elements of confrontation. There are many people who live with a feeling of heightened anxiety and suspicion. Each person lives according to his own scenario, implements his own life strategy.

Already in childhood, various “demons” lie in wait for a person, capable of imposing one or another life pattern on him. The “demon” usually first appears at the highchair, when the baby throws food on the floor and waits for what his parents will do. If they perceive it tolerantly, then later a mischievous child will most likely appear ... If the baby is punished for this, beaten, then he gloomily lurks in himself, ready someday unexpectedly to throw his whole life in a big way, as he once threw plates in his childhood with food. Evil and kind, cowardly and courageous, sincere and deceitful people become as a result of the conditions of their social interactions.

Good communication is not scripted communication, but creative, emotional, and socially meaningful human interaction. A developed personality is not burdened with pre-planned scenarios. The socialization of the personality presupposes the mastery of adequate means of social communication. Thoughts and speech of a person, his intonation, facial expressions must correspond to the goals of communication. He must reflect his perception by another person, be sensitive to the subtext of communication, recognize the true motives of communication partners.

No mask can cover the whole person: his true essence is doomed to self-expression. But before different people the individual appears in different guises. In each act of communication we see only a part of the personality and not always the most essential.

Not all people can fully use their inner potential in communication. Often only the “periphery” of the personality appears. Contacts between people are often superficial - most prefer distance relationships. Few are capable of deep human contact. All sorts of formal contact manipulations are especially harmful to genuine psychic contact. Genuine contact is impossible without sincerity, emotional syntonicity and even condescension to the accentuations of individual individuals. But unprincipled conciliation and conformity should also be avoided.

The views of people, their style of thinking cannot be completely identical. Communication partners must believe in themselves, in their self-sufficiency, must be adequate to themselves. People usually have an increased sensitivity to the truthfulness, honesty, sincerity and integrity of communication partners.

However, in many cases, especially in situations of contradictory positions and interests, people are cunning. And everyone has his own measure of deception - he allows lies to save. But some people are bluntly straightforward in their truthfulness. This type of truth-seeker is focused only on himself - he is indifferent to the person about whom he speaks the truth. The carrier of such truth has an overestimated level of self-esteem and claims. He judges the behavior of other people with extraordinary ease. The antipode of this type is deceitful people, conforming, unstable, neurotic, cowardly and obsequious.

Individuals with increased reflexivity, prone to introspection, are extremely careful in assessing other people. Their principle is do not judge and you will not be judged yourself. They make the same demands of morality on others and on themselves. They experience awkwardness, shyness, when, against the background of their personal well-being, other people find themselves in unpleasant situations. These are people with increased and conscientiousness. And conscience is a measure of the inclusion of universal morality in the individual moral system of the individual, the ability of the individual to moral self-control, self-generation of their moral duties. People with a "sick conscience" take all the blame for the disorder of the world. These people are bashful - highly critical of their own behavior. There are not very many of them, but they teach humanity the lessons of morality.

The interaction of people is the interaction of subjective worlds, sometimes contradictory and paradoxical, organized by different categorical systems, meanings and meanings. The partiality of the human psyche often borders on its inadequacy. Each person has certain prejudices, a subjective interpretation of various phenomena. The experience of the individual, his needs, tastes, desires determine what and how he perceives in the world around him. Significant events for him are exaggerated, insignificant ones are underestimated. The objects of human passions are often inadequate to these passions.

On the other hand, the mechanisms of individual psychological defense reduce the levels of our desires and claims, and form surrogate substitutions. Behavioral stereotypes hidden in the depths of the subconscious often possess us in spite of our reason, determining interpersonal likes and dislikes. But, as Arthur Schopenhauer said, in order to live your life well, you should have a fair measure caution and forbearance; the first protects from harm and loss, the second - from disputes and quarrels.

In interpersonal relationships, of course, sincere trust, friendship, and love can also arise. Friendship arises on the basis of value-oriented unity - the coincidence of positions and assessments, a common worldview. Friendship satisfies a person's need for intimate relationships, recognition of his self-worth. In adolescence and early adulthood, she is more emotionally saturated. In subsequent age periods, it remains a factor of social stability and security. In friendly relations, people, as it were, form the standard of interpersonal relations, transfer them to a highly moral basis.

Love- the highest degree of emotionally positive attitude towards another person on the basis of an extremely high assessment of his social and physiological merits, attraction to him, the desire to become personally the most significant for him. Love is characterized passion- a strong and persistent feeling that dominates the human psyche, uniting all his thoughts and motives. The rational-volitional activity of the individual is often absorbed by the subconscious-emotional dominant. Being a deeply intimate feeling, love breeds pretentiousness- requires a reciprocal feeling and is often accompanied by a painful feeling of jealousy. The social principle in love is integrated with the biological needs of the individual.

The psychological features of the behavior of men and women, the psychology of their relationships in domestic psychology remain little developed. In foreign psychology, Otto Weininger's book "Sex and Character" has become very famous. Without completely sharing his views, we present some of them.

The basic law of sexual attraction, according to Weininger, reads: "To unite the sexes, a perfect man - "M" and a perfect woman - "F" are needed, even if they are separated in two individuals in completely different combinations. The sum of "M" and "W" in beings attracting each other is always the same - such is the essence of the law of sexual complements. The character of the individual, Weininger believes, should not be defined as male or female. The question should be put like this: how many men and how many women are in a given person? Each individual has his own norm of distribution of male and female principles. The more feminine a woman is, the more she will feel a man as a man. But the more "M" in a man, the further he is from understanding a woman. "Connoisseurs of women" are themselves half feminine. And such men know how to treat women better than "solid men"!

Women who actively strive for emancipation carry numerous masculine traits. The man who is imprisoned in a woman wants to be emancipated!

Men and women are equally sexy. But the state of sexual arousal represents for a woman the highest elevation of her existence. A woman, unlike a man, is always sexy. She is all sexual. The boy does not feel the need for puberty, while the young girl anxiously awaits it. In a young man, the symptoms of puberty cause a feeling of concern, while girls follow their sexual development with great pleasure. They are waiting for love and marriage as crowning
your life. But a woman is less aware of her sexuality than a man. She always expects a man to clarify her intuitive ideas.

The mind of a man is put by a woman in first place among his other virtues. In a man, a woman appreciates stability, solidity of views and judgments. She likes it when a man talks well. The “I” of a woman is her appearance, for she is of great value to men. She likes compliments about her appearance: she appreciates the gallantry in the behavior of a man.

A woman has unique and majestic traits of motherhood. And every man for her to some extent a child. The love of a man always creates an idealized woman. Loving a woman, a man demands from her ... himself. He wants to see in her the realization of his own. The state of love is the state of personal self-construction of lovers.

In family relations, husbands can play the role of "husband-son", "husband-man", "husband-father", and wives - "wife-daughter", "wife-woman", "wife-mother".

Answering the question: “What do you want to “add” to your personality?”, Most people indicate confidence, determination, endurance, poise, purposefulness, willpower. And what do these same respondents want to other people? Understanding, sympathy, kindness, humanity, honesty, decency.

Friendship and love relationships that have not developed can develop into an equally strong antipode - hatred and enmity. These phenomena are largely deepened into the subconscious and are manifested in an unconscious desire to harm another person (they also generate criminal behavior to a large extent). Hostility at the level of a personal attitude is a misfortune that is difficult to overcome. But even if it fades, then on its ruins it will never be possible to revive the fragrant garden of friendship and love. The atavism of enmity must be eradicated from the psyche of modern man. Mentally stable is the one who looks at the world with love and compassion. Socially dangerous indifference of people to each other. Lack of communication, disruption of social contacts, loneliness is a terrible disaster for a person. The joy of social interaction, the "luxury of communication" is an incomparable blessing.

In the process of communication, people constantly mentally interact with each other. This interaction can be purposeful and spontaneous, conscious and subconscious. A conscious influence on a communication partner is formed by purposeful persuasion. Belief- selection of facts and generalizations in accordance with a specific task of mental influence, this is an impact on the mind of a partner.

The objective basis of belief is the truth of the postulates, and the psychological prerequisite is the motivational predisposition of the subject to the perception and assimilation of the relevant information, the presence of the necessary information base. The condition for effective persuasion is the high moral and intellectual authority of the influencing person. At the same time, the mechanisms of suggestion are inevitably included in the process of persuasion.

A kind of unreasoned influence - imitation(following an example). Imitation is one of the means of social learning, of mastering social experience. The child imitates the social models most accessible to his understanding. In adolescence, imitation is associated with the desire of the individual to focus on the most authoritative person, acting as a social standard.

Imitation can be external and internally motivated, meaningful. Such socio-psychological phenomena as customs and fashion are based on external imitation.

One of the common forms of mental interaction is conformity(from lat. conformis- assimilation) - assimilation to the required social standards, the concession of the individual to social pressure. If imitation is the reproduction of those patterns of behavior that correspond to the attitudes of the individual, then conformity is submission even to those requirements of the group that contradict the attitudes and positions of this individual. Conformal individuals are persons who experience increased influence from other significant persons.

The disobedience of the individual to standard norms is called nonconformity. It can be based both on the highest ideological adherence to principles of the individual, and on the anarchic denial of social norms and laws. (Both forms of behavior are called deviant - deviant- behavior.)

A form of diffuse, subconscious mental interaction of people - mental contagion: the process of transferring an increased emotional state from one individual to another in a mentally stressful environment, a spiraling mass emotionally excited state. Mass mental infection leads to the collapse of the social and normative organization of behavior, a sharp decrease in social responsibility, the dominance of socially diffuse behavior. The rampant crowd of football fans, the panicked state of the crowd, the exalted unity of the protesting masses - these are the manifestations of mental infection.

Arising in conditions of mass interaction, mental infection remains essentially an interpersonal interaction at a subconscious level, which is multiplied many times in a crowd. Thus, the state of mass fear or aggressiveness blocks the ability of individuals to rationally assess the situation, paralyzes individual volitional regulation. In this case, rigidity, inflexibility of regulatory systems, mental regression, which boils down to the depreciation of previously accepted values, arise. A person is passively carried away by the whirlpool of rapidly current events, loses the adequacy of the mental reflection of reality.

Four hundred thousand Americans witnessed the appearance of the Martians when, on October 30, 1938, mass psychosis arose in connection with a radio dramatization of H. Wells' book The War of the Worlds.

A sudden acute emotional event that affects the actualized interests of an unorganized mass of people causes poorly controlled, impulsive mass reactions that serve as a trigger for a spiral increase in mass mental self-excitation. There are strong negative emotions - anxiety, panic, fear or all-encompassing hyperpositive emotions - ecstasy, delight, courage, which are realized in intense impulsive actions.

A kind of unreasoned mental influence - suggestion(suggestion): impact on the psyche in conditions of reduced criticality. The effectiveness of suggestion is determined by the properties of the suggesting person - suggestor: his social status, personal charm, intellectual and volitional superiority; as well as features suggestion(subject experiencing suggestion) - the degree of suggestibility. In communicating with people, suggestion is used to purposefully change the motivation and attitudes of the individual. Increased suggestibility is called hypersuggestion; resistance to suggestion suggestion. Suggested content is addressed not only to the consciousness, but also to the subconscious of the suggerend.

A person encounters suggestion every day. Not only interpersonal influence, but also the influence of propaganda, agitation, advertising, political statements is largely calculated on the effect of suggestion. Bright images that evoke pleasant feelings, the charming smile of a beautiful girl, the athletic power of a superman man - all this makes the good offered to us close and desirable. Suggestion occurs against the background of a previously created favorable mental state, it is designed for the sensual, subconscious sphere of a person, and occurs in conditions of reduced criticality of consciousness. The images of suggestion acquire the character of an imposition, an involuntary steady “emergence”. The strength of the inspiring influence depends on its figurative accessibility, getting the image into the zone of desires and aspirations of the individual.

Insecure people, with a low level of claims, low self-esteem, highly impressionable, with a low level of criticality of intellect, who believe in the purity of authorities, are especially susceptible to inspiring influences. There are also situational factors of increased suggestibility:
extreme fatigue, mental demobilization, relaxation, low level of awareness and competence, lack of time to make a responsible decision, a state of increased communication, intimate predisposition to inspiring influence.

Psychology of personality: lecture notes Guseva Tamara Ivanovna

LECTURE No. 14. Communication and interpersonal relationships

Among the factors that normalize personality, in psychology, work, communication and cognition are distinguished. Communication- communication between people, during which there is a psychological contact, manifested in the exchange of information, mutual influence, mutual experience, mutual understanding. Communication is aimed at establishing psychological contact between them; its goals are to change the relationship between people, to establish mutual understanding, to influence knowledge, opinions, attitudes, feelings and other manifestations of the orientation of the individual; means - various forms of self-expression of the individual. Contacts between people in communication is a necessary condition for the existence of an individual.

Recently, in science, along with the concept of "communication", the concept of "communication" is used. In publications, one can find different interpretations of these concepts. In psychology, the following relationship has been established between them. Communication- communication, the interaction of two systems, during which a signal carrying information is transmitted from one system to another. If two electronic systems exchange information, then they say that there is communication between them.

Communication- the exchange of information between people. A person can communicate with other people not only in direct contact. Watching a TV show, reading a book are also acts of communication. Thus, “communication” is a narrower concept than the concept of “communication”. Emphasizing the role of communication as a specific factor in the formation of the psyche, B. F. Lomov wrote: "When we study the lifestyle of a particular individual, we cannot limit ourselves to analyzing only what and how he does, we must also investigate with whom and how he communicates."

Communication involves the transfer of information. The content of communication is scientific and worldly knowledge. Skills and abilities can be transferred in communication.

All these are just some of the content of communication. There are many specific topics for communication, and the more diverse topics of communication, the richer and more meaningful the personality of a person.

The appearance of a person is consciously changed and to a certain extent created by him. The appearance is made up of a physiognomic mask, clothes, demeanor. The physiognomic mask - the dominant facial expression - is formed under the influence of thoughts, feelings, and relationships that often arise in a person. Hairstyle, cosmetics, etc. significantly contribute to the creation of a mask. Evil, kind, arrogant, benevolent and other physiognomic masks can be noted. Complements the appearance and clothing, which is often an indicator of class, estate, professional affiliation. The dress code obliges to a certain type of behavior. Military uniform requires discipline. The cheerfulness of a man in mourning clothes seems strange to us. In the manner of holding one can see the upbringing of a person, his position, self-esteem, attitude towards the person with whom he communicates. To establish contacts between people, for the content and emotional side of communication, the appearance of a person is of great importance: on its basis, the first impression is formed, which often determines the development of relations.

Appearance and physiognomic mask are static. The dynamic side of communication is manifested in gestures and facial expressions. facial expressions- dynamic facial expression at the moment of communication.

Gesture- a socially developed movement that conveys a mental state. Both facial expressions and gestures develop as social means of communication, although some of the elements that make them up are innate. The social dependence of facial expressions is confirmed by the fact that in the conditions of different cultures the same facial expressions and gestures can have diametrically opposite meanings. For example, wide-open eyes in a Japanese are a sign of anger, while in a European, friendliness and surprise.

Non-verbal means of communication include the exchange of objects, things. Passing objects to each other, people establish contacts, express their attitude towards each other.

The means of communication is also tactile-muscular sensitivity. Mutual contact, muscular tension for movement directed at another person, or withholding from it - these are the limits of such communication. Specific manifestations of it can be a handshake, the child being in the arms of the mother, the martial arts of athletes. With the help of tactile-muscular sensitivity, a person learns physical strength, some personality traits, attitudes of another person, in turn, shows some of his own qualities and expresses his attitude towards him. Tactile-muscular sensitivity is the main channel for obtaining information from the outside world and the main means of communication for people deprived of hearing and vision, and thus the ability to naturally master sound speech.

Currently, much attention is paid to the communicative meaning of distance in communication. In American psychology, even the name for this area of ​​\u200b\u200bresearch has appeared - proxemics. Proxemics explores the location of people in space during communication and identifies the following distances in human contacts:

1) intimate area (15–45 cm); only close, well-known people are allowed into this zone; it is characterized by trust, a low voice when communicating, tactile contact, and touch. Studies show that violation of the intimate zone entails certain changes in the body: an increase in the heartbeat, a rush of blood to the head, etc. Premature intrusion into the intimate zone in the process of communication is always perceived by the interlocutor as an attack on his immunity;

2) personal, or personal, zone (45-120 cm) for everyday conversation with friends and colleagues involves only visual eye contact between partners who support the conversation;

3) the social zone (120-400 cm) is usually observed during official meetings in offices, teaching and other office premises, as a rule, with those who are not very well known;

4) a public area (over 400 cm) implies communication with a large group of people (in a lecture hall, at a rally, etc.).

The first level (macro level). In this case, communication is considered as the most important aspect of a person's lifestyle, in which they study the prevailing content, the circle of people with whom she mainly contacts, the established style of communication, and other parameters. All this is due to social relations, the social conditions of a person's life. In addition, considering this level, one should take into account what rules, traditions, accepted norms a person adheres to. The time interval of such communication is the entire previous and future life of the individual.

Second level (mesa level). Communication at this level involves contacts on a specific topic. Moreover, the implementation of the topic can be carried out with one person or group, it can end in one session or require several meetings, acts of communication. As a rule, a person has several topics that he implements sequentially or in parallel. In both cases, communication partners can be individuals or groups.

The third level (micro level). It involves an act of communication in the role of a kind of elementary particle (unit). Such an act of communication can be considered a question and answer, a handshake, a meaningful look, a mimic movement in response, etc. Through elementary units, themes are realized that form the entire system of communication of a person in a certain period of his life.

From the book Sex in the family and at work author Litvak Mikhail Efimovich

2.3. Interpersonal relationships and sex A little more theory that can be very useful in practice, get rid of disappointments, give a certain amount of joy. These provisions deal with interpersonal relationships, any of which can lead to sex. From the point of view of E. Bern,

From the book A Variety of Human Worlds author Volkov Pavel Valerievich

4. Interpersonal relationships (features of communication) The defensive conflict of the asthenic manifests itself in a variety of ways in his behavior. One of them characteristically said to himself: "I am running from the mink to the palace." Asthenik is looking for a small cozy corner in life to hide his soul there.

From the book Psychology of Personality author Guseva Tamara Ivanovna

4. Interpersonal relationships (features of communication) A psychasthenic, like an asthenic, experiences quite a lot of difficulties in communicating with people. The difference is that the psychasthenic carefully considers and analyzes these difficulties. After an important conversation, he anxiously goes over to

From the book Psychology of Personality: Lecture Notes author Guseva Tamara Ivanovna

7. Interpersonal relationships (features of communication) In relationships with a cycloid, you need to be prepared for his ability to surprise us with contrasts in the kaleidoscope of his mood. In a good mood, the cycloid is a warm, cheerful person. It happens that the cycloid

From the book Ethnopsychology author Stefanenko Tatiana Gavrilovna

24. Communication and interpersonal relationships Communication is a connection between people, during which a psychological contact arises, manifested in the exchange of information, mutual influence, mutual experience, mutual understanding. Recently, science has been using the concept

From the book to the Educator about sexology author Kagan Viktor Efimovich

LECTURE № 16. Interpersonal relations in groups and collectives. The concept of psychological incompatibility There are relationships and relationships in groups and collectives. Attitude is the position of a person to everything that surrounds her, and to herself. Man anyway

From the book Games played by "We". Fundamentals of Behavioral Psychology: Theory and Typology author Kalinauskas Igor Nikolaevich

1.1. Intergroup and interpersonal relations Interethnic relations can be analyzed from different points of view, therefore, many sciences are engaged in the study of problems related to interethnic relations - cultural anthropology, political science, sociology, economics,

From the book Psychology of Communication and Interpersonal Relations author Ilyin Evgeny Pavlovich

Adolescent psyche and interpersonal relationships Adolescence is usually called, and not without reason, difficult, linking its difficulties with a special "teenage psyche". Representatives of biogenetic universalism of the late XIX - early XX century. understood the teenage crisis

From the book Psychology. Full course author Riterman Tatyana Petrovna

Public relations are interpersonal relations Public relations are primarily interpersonal relations. This means that a set of behaviors of one person (setting behavior) necessarily meets a set of behaviors (setting behavior)

From the author's book

11.1. Interpersonal relationships and their classification Interpersonal relationships are relationships that develop between individuals. They are often accompanied by emotions, express the inner world of a person. Interpersonal relationships are divided into the following

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CHAPTER 14 Interpersonal Relations K. A. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya (1981) writes that “the psychology of communication isolates its subject when it considers how two, coming into contact, create something third, which is the relationship between them” (p. 225). So tear off

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CHAPTER 18 Communication and interpersonal relationships between medical workers and patients The effectiveness of treatment largely depends on how the relationship between the doctor and the patient develops. Prerequisites for the emergence of positive relationships and trust between medical

From the author's book

CHAPTER 19 Interpersonal relationships and communication in the family The family is another important area of ​​human life, in which constant and close communication takes place and in which peculiar interpersonal relationships are formed. After all, marriage is defined as legally fixed