Your mind and heart feel like they are split.

You want to do something, but another part of you screams: “there is no way!”

You believe in something, but you cannot justify the actions that faith teaches.

You feel that it is right, but at the same time you also feel that it is wrong.

How can you understand all this confusion, all this inner conflict? You feel your brain melting and you begin to despair.

If you feel like you're inching closer to insanity, or the confusion is becoming too much to handle, stop right now. Pause. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next minute, focus on your breathing: inhaling and exhaling.

In this article, I hope to help you understand the roots of your inner conflicts and how to find peace of mind.

Internal conflict is the presence of opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings. In the field of psychology, internal conflict is often referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” which refers to having conflicting and incompatible thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. This psychological struggle can occur at any time in life in any area of ​​life, relationships, commitments, work, religious beliefs, moral views and social ideologies.

An example of internal conflict: a person who believes in women's rights, but does not allow them to make decisions. In the religious world, internal conflict often arises when a person is confronted with a doctrine or teaching that he is not comfortable preaching.

The worst battle is the battle between what we know and what we feel.

When we face any internal conflict, it is due to a disagreement between our heart and head.

As research conducted at the HeartMath Institute shows, our hearts carry their own special kind of intuitive intelligence. When we are brought up in a mind-dominated society, we become very confused and confused when our hearts are involved in everyday affairs. It is very easy to listen to the mind, mindlessly obey what others teach us, and plan our lives logically. But our hearts carry their own special kind of intelligence, which is non-linear, sophisticated and often very abstract. There is no formula or set of rules that is tied to the intelligence of the heart: we must tune in to the voice within that often confuses us so much.

Our intellect is what gives our lives structure, direction and practical application. But the intelligence of the heart is what breathes life and truth into the framework of our journey. By not listening to our hearts, we live soulless, unsatisfied and untrustworthy lives. But without listening to our heads, we live in absolute chaos.

As we can see, balance is needed. We need to listen to both our hearts and our heads, but we often tend to put one above the other, which is the reason why we experience inner conflict.

So why does internal conflict occur? This happens because we do not have balance and balance between the heart and the head. Our heart says one thing, but our mind says another: and both scream with the same intensity. When our actions do not align with our values, the inevitable result is feelings of discomfort and even shame. So what should we listen to, when, and why? We will look at the answer to this question, but first we need to understand what creates internal conflict.

We face internal conflict for a number of reasons. There is often no single cause or origin, but a number of factors which include:

• Beliefs and rules that we inherit from our parents.
• Religious beliefs, dogmas, or creeds in which we believe.
• Social values ​​and ideals that we have accepted.

Simply put, the more beliefs, ideals, expectations and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.

There are many different types of internal conflicts, and I tried to cover as many as possible. Pay special attention to the ones below.

1. Moral conflict

Ethical conflict occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs about something related to our personal ethics. For example, a moral conflict may arise when a person believes in human rights but does not allow euthanasia. Or a person may value truthfulness highly, but lie to save another person's life.

2. Sexual conflict

Sexual conflict often intersects with other types of internal conflicts, such as religious or moral conflicts. For example, a person may be a Christian, but he discovers that he is homosexual. Or a person may value a monogamous relationship when sexually they are more suited to a polygamous relationship.

3. Religious conflict

Religious conflict is quite common as it revolves around reason-oriented beliefs and beliefs, which makes them particularly fragile. Examples of religious conflict include believing in a loving God, but it is difficult to accept that this “loving” being sends people to hell for eternity. Or a person who is religiously faithful uses various drugs. When scientific facts arise, religious conflict may arise in a person who values ​​both truth and his religious beliefs.

4. Political conflict

Political conflict occurs when a person feels a split between his beliefs and the beliefs of his political party. For example, a person may believe in his country, but not believe in the tax system. A person can agree with a party but disagree with their health care system. Or a person may believe in a political philosophy but disagree with the methods of supporting that party.

5. Love conflict

Love conflict occurs when we love someone and at the same time want to do something that will hurt them. For example, we may love our child, but believe that we must hit him to make him obedient, this makes us feel guilty. We can also love a person and want to stay in the relationship with him, but understand that we must let him go.

6. Self-esteem conflict

Your image is your internal idea of ​​yourself, for example, “My name is Ivan. I am a patient, loving and compassionate person. I'm a disorganized artist who supports animal rights, etc." Internal conflict occurs when we are confronted with evidence that contradicts our beliefs about ourselves. For example, a person who believes he is honest may lie on his resume to get his dream job. Someone who is for a healthy diet cannot give up smoking. A person who identifies as an empath may experience constant resentment towards another person.

7. Interpersonal conflict

Interpersonal conflict overlaps with other types of intrapersonal conflicts such as self-esteem and love. This type of conflict occurs in social situations when you want to act one way but act differently. For example, Anton hates talking about sports, but he pretends to be interested in what his colleagues are saying. An introvert does not have much energy, but puts up a façade of "high energy" to fit in with others. Or someone is offended by a friend, but doesn’t say anything, even if they really want to say it.

8. Existential conflict

Existential conflict involves a feeling of discomfort and confusion in life, especially when two opposing beliefs or desires arise. For example, to hate life, but at the same time love it. Or the desire to live life to the fullest, but not wanting to make any changes or get out of your comfort zone. Existential conflict can also be directed toward the world, such as wanting to save the planet while at the same time believing it is doomed or polluting it.

Please note that all of these examples of intrapersonal conflict often overlap with each other. This list is also not definitive, so feel free to leave a comment if you think there are any types of internal conflict that are missing.

All the struggle happens inside. And what causes internal conflict? Attachment to beliefs, desires and expectations.

It's very simple, all our suffering arises when we believe our thoughts, instead of seeing them for what they really are: transmission of energy fluctuations in the brain. Do we control our thoughts? No. Otherwise, we would always choose to think happy and harmonious thoughts. We don't even know what our next thought will be, let alone the next ten, because they all arise and disappear spontaneously. If we don't control these thoughts, then how can they mean anything about us unless we give them meaning ourselves?

Sit down and try to follow how your thoughts come. Do you control them? Or are they controlling you?

Additionally, here are some other tips that I hope can help you find more peace and clarity:

The difference between intuition and fear.

In the long run, which choice is wise?

When our heart dominates, we tend to make rash, poorly thought out decisions. When the head leads: foresight, foresight. Foresight is wisdom. With the knowledge you have now, what would be the wisest long-term decision?

Weigh all the pros and cons.

If you're struggling for clarity, split the page into two parts. List all the pros of your decision on the one hand and the cons on the other.

Figure out your number one priority.

Internal conflict often arises when we do not have a clear priority. What is your biggest priority at the moment? What do you value most?

What false beliefs are fueling your confusion?

What false, misleading, limiting or irrelevant beliefs are causing conflict within you? Write down your problem on a piece of paper and next to it ask “Why?” For example, you may want to keep your job, but also long to stay home with your little ones. By relentlessly asking why, you might discover that you believe that staying home with your children makes you a failure, and you have accepted this belief from society.

Be brutally honest: what are you afraid of?

Fear always lies at the root of internal conflict. What really scares you? What are you most afraid of? Sometimes discovering your core fear helps you gain more clarity and direction.

What is the “lesser of two evils”?

If you had to make a choice with a gun to your head, what decision would you make?

What resists the flow?

One simple way to test what "shouldn't be" is to examine what causes the most resistance in your life. Remember, life flows easily. It is our thoughts and desires that cut the flow. So let's explore what creates a lot of resistance in life. Are you clinging to a ship that sailed a long time ago?

A more loving approach.

Do you respect your authenticity or honor what you “believe” you should do/be? Which approach or choice is more consistent with truth and love?

Is there a bigger problem?

Sometimes internal conflict actually masks deeper issues that need to be explored to find a solution, such as negative self-beliefs, unresolved shame, or childhood trauma.

Relaxation of the mind.

Relaxation is a great way to develop new perspectives. Try to meditate, listen to soothing music, or practice mindfulness. Often the best answers come when we are not looking for them.

Decline the choice.

Do you need an answer right now? Sometimes letting life go in the direction it wants is a better option than taking a violent path. Wayne Dyer: "The conflict cannot survive without your complicity."

I hope these tips help you find more peace of mind. Remember that it is completely normal to experience intrapersonal conflict and there is nothing strange about you. Also, when it comes to internal conflicts, people tend to romanticize the heart and believe that we should only listen to what the heart wants. But this is an unbalanced approach: you need to listen to both the heart and the brain to create inner harmony.

If you want to make an appointment for a consultation, you can use the phone number or fill out the feedback form, for this go to the contact page and choose a method convenient for you. Thank you!

If a person has no desire to develop, he has no taste for life, and panic attacks have become constant companions - it is not yet the internal Psychologist who will cope with such problems quickly. It is worse if a person does not understand his thoughts. This is where we should sound the alarm.

Definition

Internal conflict is the contradictions that arise in a person’s subconscious. The patient most often does not understand what this is and describes his situation as emotional problems that cannot be solved.

Depression is an indispensable companion to the internal conflict of the individual and depends only on the person whether he can overcome it or not.

A person suffering from internal conflict thinks negatively and lacks rational thinking.

It is important to know that an advanced form of conflict leads to neurotic and even mental illness. Therefore, it is so important to worry about it in time and start treatment. It will depend on how large the internal conflict is. This means that the specialist will first have to classify the problem and only then take on its solution.

Classification of conflicts

First of all, a person who realizes that he has a problem should familiarize himself with the terms. After all, most often people come at an already advanced stage, and then the work of only a psychologist gives little result.

Today, scientists identify only two types of internal conflicts:

1. A person’s feelings do not correspond to the rules of society.
2. Disagreement with society or the presence of irritating factors have a bad effect on the subtle mental organization of a person.

Levels of contradictions are also identified. The latter appear in a person’s subconscious.

1. Balance of the patient's inner world.
2. Internal conflict.
3. Life crisis.

The first level is determined by the fact that a person resolves internal conflicts himself.

But internal conflict is when a person cannot solve his problems. In this case, all areas of life malfunction, and the conflict only gets worse.

The crisis of life is determined by the impossibility of implementing the plans and programs drawn in the head. Until the contradiction is resolved, a person cannot even perform the necessary vital functions.

You need to understand that all contradictions at any level must be resolved. It all depends on how high they are and whether it is possible to eliminate them or refuse them.

Personal characteristics alone are not enough for the balance of the inner world to be disturbed. There must be suitable situations. They are external and internal. External ones include the satisfaction of deep motives. An example would be a situation where satisfied needs give rise to other needs; or fight against nature.

But internal situations are internal conflicts between the sides of the individual. That is, the person realizes that the situation is difficult to resolve, which means that contradictions have significant force.

Different scientists interpret the causes of intrapersonal conflict differently. Most of them are inclined to believe that the reasons are:

1. The reasons lie in the human psyche.
2. Reasons that stem from the place a person occupies in society.
3. Reasons that are influenced by the position a person occupies in his social group.

But the identified reasons are not isolated. Internal conflict is influenced not by one, but by many reasons. That is, their separation is very ephemeral.

By identifying the causes, you can determine the type of personality conflict.

Reasons for the inconsistency of the human psyche

The internal causes of contradictions in the human psyche are:

1. The clash of personal needs and social norms.
2. Discrepancy between social role and status.
3. Discrepancies between the norms and values ​​of society.
4. Contradiction of interest.

All causes of intrapersonal conflict are due to the fact that a person cannot satisfy his fundamental needs and life motives. And if they mean a lot to the individual or there is a deep meaning invested in them, then this only aggravates the problem.

External reasons that are associated with a person’s position in his social group include:

1. A physical obstacle that makes it impossible to meet your needs.
2. Physiological resources that do not allow satisfying the need.
3. There is no object to satisfy the needs.
4. Social conditions that make satisfying needs impossible.

In addition to the causes of intrapersonal conflict associated with social status, there are also causes associated with social organization. The following points can be highlighted:

1. Inconsistency between working conditions and the requirements for the result.
2. Distinction between rights and responsibilities.
3. Organizational values ​​do not match the employee's personal values.
4. The social role does not correspond to the status in society.
5. There is no opportunity to create and self-realize.
6. The tasks and requirements are put forward in such a way that they exclude each other.

In modern realities, the cause of conflict is often the fact that moral standards come into dissonance with the desire to make a profit. But more often than not, this only happens when a person begins to save his first money and look for a place in life.

This is because in market relations a person is forced to compete with other people, which means that sooner or later hostility towards society will turn into hostility towards oneself. This is how intrapersonal conflict begins. In our society, absolutely opposite things are required from a participant in market relations. He must be aggressive to win his place, but at the same time cultivate altruism and other virtues. It is precisely such mutually exclusive demands that provide fertile ground for internal conflict.

Pros of internal conflict

If a person discovers symptoms of conflict, what should he do? It depends on the individual. If a person is strong in spirit, then internal conflict will push him to reassess values ​​and change some beliefs.

Psychologists specializing in intrapersonal conflicts identify the following positive factors:

1. A person who is in conflict mobilizes his strength and finds a way out of the situation.
2. The patient soberly assesses the situation, looking at it from the outside. In this way he can rethink his problems and solve them.
3. A person's self-esteem increases after he solves his problem.
4. Rational thinking appears, which does not work during intrapersonal conflict.
5. The individual gets to know himself, which means that through internal harmony he relates better to society.
6. While a person is looking for a solution to his problems, he may have a potential that he was not aware of due to low self-esteem.

But in order to get all this, you should not be shy and seek help from a specialist. In this case, there is no need to self-medicate, because only a few can truly solve the problem. An aggravating circumstance is that neurotic diseases, which are present at an advanced stage of the conflict, only complicate the search for solutions.

The danger of conflict

As innocuous as this term may sound, it should not be underestimated. Of course, a lot depends on the individual, but still the negative consequences manifest themselves in the same way for everyone, just for some in a more pronounced form. So, internal conflict is what prevents a person from revealing his personality and establishing communication with other people. A person cannot show his strengths and as a result begins to burn out.

Internal contradictions become a permanent cause for suffering. You don’t want to do anything, you give up, the feeling of inner emptiness grows, and self-confidence melts before your eyes.

If the problem is not treated, it can lead to a nervous breakdown. And this person will get off easy. Neglected intrapersonal conflict leads to serious psychiatric illnesses. Therefore, you should not start the problem and think that it will resolve itself. It won’t resolve, which means you need to look for a good specialist.

Multiple personalities

There is such a phenomenon in psychiatry. What should you do in such a situation? Contact a professional. But treatment does not always give results.

An example is a story that happened in America. American Billy Milligan was convicted, but when he appeared in the courtroom, he did not understand what was happening. The jurors listened to several people, and everything would have been fine, but only the defendant spoke throughout the entire trial. His habits changed, his manner of speaking changed, and he even acquired an accent. Billy could behave cheekily, light a cigarette in the courtroom, and dilute his monologue with prison slang. And after two minutes the voice became higher, flirtatiousness appeared in behavior, and the accused began to express himself very gracefully.

After all kinds of research, scientists came to the conclusion that Billy was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. In his consciousness there were twenty-four completely formed personalities. From time to time he felt like an attractive woman, a political figure, a small child or a prisoner.

Still, this is an extreme state of internal conflict. As a rule, with timely consultation with a doctor, such complications can be avoided.

Forms of intrapersonal conflict

To determine how to get rid of internal conflict, you need to understand in what form it manifests itself. There are six forms:

1. Neurasthenia. The person becomes irritable, performance decreases, and he sleeps poorly. Frequent headaches appear and sleep is disturbed. Depression becomes a constant companion. In fact, neurasthenia is a type of neurosis. And such a neuropsychic disorder occurs because the internal conflict is resolved incorrectly or ineffectively. Typically, neurasthenic symptoms occur when a person is exposed to factors that traumatize his psyche for a long time.
2. Euphoria. The person becomes overly cheerful in public, expresses his positive emotions without caring about the appropriateness of the situation, and laughs with tears in his eyes. This form of conflict is characterized by psychomotor agitation and activity - both facial and motor.
3. Regression. Anyone who has this form of conflict begins to behave very primitively and tries to avoid responsibility for their actions. This is a kind of psychological protection, that is, a person consciously returns to where he felt protected. If a person begins to regress, then this is a direct sign of a neurotic or infantile personality.
4. Projection. This form is characterized by the fact that the person begins to attribute shortcomings to another person and criticize other people. The form is called classical projection or protection, which implies its connection with psychological protection.
5. Nomadism. A person gravitates towards frequent changes. This could be a constant change of partner, job or place of residence.
6. Rationalism. In this form of conflict, it is common for a person to justify his actions and actions. That is, the person tries to reformulate his true motives, feelings and thoughts so that his own behavior does not cause protest. This behavior can be explained by the fact that a person wants to respect himself and maintain dignity in his own eyes.

Ways to resolve the conflict

If a person does not understand the problem of internal conflict and does not want to turn to psychologists, then you can try to cope with the phenomenon on your own. But you will still have to attract loved ones. So, there are several ways to resolve conflicts and disagreements. Let's look at each separately.

Compromise

To resolve internal conflict, you can try compromise solutions. That is, before solving a problem, you need to give yourself the appearance of a choice. For example, where to go: tennis or chess? And then you need to choose a third option, for example, athletics. There is no need to give yourself the chance to doubt.

You shouldn’t always try to choose, you can combine - this is a compromise. After all, to make yourself ham and cheese sandwiches, you don’t need to choose in the store what to buy: cheese or ham. To satisfy a need, you should take both, and a little bit at a time.

You can also refuse to solve the problem and become a fatalist. That is, a person accepts everything that fate gives and does not interfere with events.

There is an example where a person was cured of an internal conflict by simply closing his consciousness to thoughts that he considered unacceptable. This man's name is William Stanley Milligan, and he simply refused to implement what he considered unacceptable.

To successfully cope with a problem, sometimes it is enough to adapt to certain circumstances. But such behavior should not become a habit. But it is very necessary to adjust your own foundations and values.

Dreams

Some experts advise embellishing problems, thereby starting to fantasize. This means that a person will live in his fantasies and all his “wants and shoulds” will not conflict with each other. But still, most psychologists do not take this method seriously. In their opinion, it is better not to hide behind fantasies, but to cheer yourself up in difficult situations. The phrase that there are no hopeless situations is perfect for these purposes.

Accepting your own strengths

Every person has strengths, and to find them, a person needs to understand himself. Most often, people do not pay due attention to their achievements. So they constantly complain that they don't have enough opportunities. But the point is not a lack of the latter, but the fact that a person does not want to see ways to solve the problem. We can say that internal conflict is a person’s biased attitude towards himself. All you need to do is sit down and think about how a person compares favorably with others. If you find something in yourself that deserves respect and is a strength, then overcoming internal conflicts will cease to be a problem.

Conflicts arise mainly due to the fact that a person himself does not understand why he is valuable, but tries to prove it to others. No one will mock or humiliate a strong person, because he respects himself, which means that those around him respect him.

Purpose

Internal conflicts destroy personality, because in this struggle there are only losers. A person gladly shifts responsibility for himself to other people or adapts to society. But if a person has found his purpose, then internal harmony is restored. The personality becomes strong and, thanks to the internal attitude, does not allow anything to be imposed on itself or to confuse itself.

Simply put, to be happy you need something you love. It will be a source of good emotions, inspiration and vitality. It is the person who understands his purpose who is strong in spirit, happy and able to solve any problems.

Care

The person deliberately avoids solving the problem. There is no need to make difficult choices, which means that the person experiences relief for a certain period. In essence, a person simply waits for the problem to disappear by itself, and if it does not disappear, then the conflict only gets worse.

Sublimation

Internal conflict is resolved using this method due to the fact that the individual transforms psychic energy into acceptable forms. This is one of the most effective methods, as it allows you not only to find the cause, but also to influence it. The ability to sublimate must be developed through constant exercise, despite the fact that all people have it.

Reorientation

In this method, people must first understand the reason that provoked the conflict and who or what provoked it. In order to apply reorientation, you need to have the ability to manage motivation. The method is not fast, but the result is guaranteed to be excellent. If you can’t understand your own personal value system, then you need to contact a specialist. Under the guidance of a psychologist, it will be much easier to get rid of the conflict.

crowding out

If a person tries to repress thoughts and motives that are unacceptable to him/herself, then this is also considered a way of getting rid of conflict. Typically, infantile, immature individuals resort to this method. It’s easier for them to forget something or forbid themselves to think about it than to try to eliminate the cause. The ostrich-in-the-sand position is not effective, if only because not noticing a problem does not mean eradicating it. There is a high probability of a repetition of the conflict, and it is not a fact that it will not be in a more serious form.

Correction

Every person has some ideas about himself. The essence of the method is that the struggle is not with the cause of the conflict, but with the individual’s own ideas about it. That is, it is easier not to look for ways to eradicate the cause, but simply to change the attitude towards the latter. The effect of the method is quite average, although there are people whom it really helped. In general, if a person understands that he has a problem and needs to be solved, then he must choose the methods for solving it himself. After all, the result largely depends on self-confidence.

Conclusion

1. Intrapersonal conflict is a serious problem that should not be underestimated. Lack of proper attention and search for ways to resolve the conflict can lead to numerous illnesses, including psychiatric ones.
2. There are quite a few reasons for internal conflict, which means you don’t need to act on advice on the Internet or from friends. Everyone has different situations and reasons for this or that behavior. And if it suits one person, it doesn’t mean it will suit another. It is best to go to a psychologist, because only a specialist will help you understand the reasons and eliminate them.
3. There are also many ways to resolve intrapersonal conflict, but the same principle applies here as with causes. No matter what negative reviews there are about a particular method, only a person should choose how to solve their problems. If he feels that this is how he can get rid of the conflict, then he should not rely on the opinions of others.

In conclusion, it is worth noting: in order to solve the problem once and for all, you need to know how it is done. Only a specialist knows this. Therefore, do not neglect the help of professionals, because this is what they exist for - to help you understand yourself.

Intrapersonal conflict is a state in which a person has contradictory and mutually exclusive motives, values ​​and goals that he currently cannot cope with and cannot develop behavioral priorities.

The founder of intrapersonal conflict

The study of intrapersonal conflict began at the end of the 19th century and was associated primarily with the name of the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud. He showed that human existence is associated with constant tension and overcoming the contradiction between biological drives and desires (primarily sexual) and socio-cultural norms, between the unconscious and consciousness. According to Freud, this contradiction and constant confrontation is the essence of intrapersonal conflict.

"I-concept"

Representatives of the humanistic school viewed the theory of intrapersonal conflict differently. The fundamental component of the personality structure, Carl Rogers believes, is the “Self-concept” - the individual’s idea of ​​himself, the image of his own “I”, formed in the process of interaction with the environment. Self-regulation of human behavior occurs on the basis of the “I-concept”.

But the “I-concept” often does not coincide with the idea of ​​the ideal “I”. There may be a mismatch between them. This dissonance between the “I-concept”, on the one hand, and the ideal “I”, on the other, acts as an intrapersonal conflict that can lead to severe mental illness.

Maslow's pyramid

The concept of intrapersonal conflict by one of the leading representatives of humanistic psychology, American psychologist Abraham Maslow, has become widely known. According to Maslow, the motivational structure of a personality is formed by a number of hierarchically organized needs:

1) physiological needs;

2) the need for security;

3) need for love;

4) the need for respect;

5) the need for self-actualization.

The highest is the need for self-actualization, that is, for the realization of a person’s abilities and talents. It is expressed in the fact that a person strives to be who he can become. But he doesn’t always succeed. Self-actualization as an ability may be present in most people, but only in a minority is it realized. This gap between the desire for self-actualization and the actual result underlies intrapersonal conflict.

Logotherapy

Another very popular theory of intrapersonal conflict today was developed by the Austrian psychologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who created a new direction in psychotherapy - logotherapy - the search for the meaning of human existence. According to Frankl's concept, the main driving force in the life of every person is his search for the meaning of life and the struggle for it. But only a few manage to realize the meaning of life. Its absence gives rise to a state in a person, which he calls an existential vacuum, or a feeling of aimlessness and emptiness.

Boredom is evidence of a lack of meaning in life, meaning-forming values, and this is already serious. Because finding the meaning of life is much more difficult and more important than wealth. In addition, need pushes a person to action and helps get rid of neuroses, while boredom associated with an existential vacuum, on the contrary, dooms him to inactivity and thereby contributes to the development of a psychological disorder.

Leontief theory

According to the theory of A.N. Leontiev, intrapersonal conflict is an inevitable part of the personality structure. Any person, even if he has a leading motive for behavior and a main goal in life, cannot live with just one goal or motive. The human motivational sphere never resembles a frozen pyramid. So a conflict of certain interests and goals is a completely normal phenomenon for every person.

When considering the causes of intrapersonal conflict, they can be divided into three types of interrelated causes. 1. Internal reasons.

The internal causes of intrapersonal conflict are rooted in contradictions between various motives of a person in the absence of consistency between the components of its internal structure. Moreover, the more complex a person’s inner world is, the more developed his feelings and formed values, the higher his ability for self-analysis, the more prone the person is to conflict. Among the main contradictions that cause internal conflict are the following:

Contradiction between the needs of the individual and existing social norms;

Contradiction of motives, interests and needs (both you want to go on a date, and you need to prepare for a seminar)

Contradiction of social roles (both you need to be in class and you need to visit your sick grandmother)

Contradiction of social values ​​and norms (not to do violence, and to protect friends from a bully).

For an intrapersonal conflict to arise, these contradictions must acquire a deep personal meaning, otherwise a person will not give them meaning. In addition, the different sides of the contradictions in the strength of their impact on a person should be approximately equal, otherwise a person will easily choose less of two evils, and more of two goods, and there will be no conflict.

2. External reasons.

A. External causes of intrapersonal conflict, determined by the position of the individual in the group.

their common feature is the impossibility of satisfying needs and motives that in a given situation have a deep inner meaning and significance for a person:

physical obstacles that make it impossible to satisfy basic needs: inability to make it before the start of classes due to a traffic accident;

Lack of an object necessary to satisfy habitual needs (I want to drink a cup of coffee, but the shops are closed and there is no more coffee at home)

Biological limitations (persons with physical disabilities who are confined to a wheelchair cannot independently carry out a walk)

Social conditions are the main source of the largest number of our intrapersonal conflicts (the inability to qualitatively prepare for classes through living in a dormitory, and when our need for respect does not meet with understanding: if we feel like strangers in our study group because of the attitude of some people towards us).

B. External reasons causing intrapersonal conflict at the organizational level can be represented by the following types of contradictions:

The contradiction between great responsibility and insufficient rights to implement it (the head of the study group was given certain responsibilities, but was not given the rights to carry them out)

Contradiction between strict requirements for the quality of task completion and existing conditions (it is necessary to write a high-quality scientific paper, but there is not enough time and literature)

Contradiction between two mutually exclusive requirements or objectives (requirements to simultaneously improve the quality of teaching and, at the same time, increase the teaching load);

Contradiction between a strictly defined task and poorly explained conditions for its implementation (the need to write a scientific paper for a competition in the first year and insufficient attention from the supervisor to the student)

Contradiction between the desire for creativity, career, self-affirmation and the possibilities of realizing this within the organization (due to the desire to become an excellent student and misunderstanding of this by classmates, an intrapersonal conflict may develop)

Contradictions caused by the incompatibility of a person's social roles (the status of the head of a study group makes certain demands and norms of behavior in relation to classmates, the status of a close friend - others).

B. External causes of intrapersonal conflict, determined by the position of the individual in society.

These reasons are associated with contradictions that arise at the level of the social macrosystem and are rooted in the nature of the social system and economic life. These include:

The contradictions between competition and personal success, on the one hand, and brotherly love and humanity, on the other;

Contradictions between our needs and existing obstacles to their satisfaction;

Contradictions between the declared freedom of a person and existing actual restrictions (choice of work, second choice of rest).

Thus, the face in the system of general dominance of market relations and alienation is bifurcated. She feels like both a seller and a product in this continuous market. A person feels that her value does not depend on her human qualities, but on success in a competitive market with an ever-changing environment. Therefore, she is forced to constantly fight for success, and any obstacle on this path poses a serious threat to her internal state and gives rise to intrapersonal conflict.

All this is typical for Ukraine when it comes to the influence of market relations on the formation of personality. We too should be prepared for the trials associated with an increase in intrapersonal conflicts, stress and neuroses. Moreover, the negative consequences of the influence of market reforms on the human psyche and on the development of intrapersonal conflicts are already manifesting themselves quite noticeably.

A rapid reassessment of values ​​played a big role in this. An entire generation of people was unable to adapt to market values ​​or did not want to accept them. It turned out that the ideals that it lived by and believed in for decades became irrelevant and no one needed. This situation could not help but cause feelings of disappointment, apathy and worthlessness.

It should be noted that the internal and external causes of internal personal conflicts are closely interrelated. Thus, people who are in a state of intrapersonal conflict pose a potential danger to interpersonal relationships in the group.

It is difficult to say whether a rapidly changing environment influences the emergence and development of intrapersonal conflict, when a person becomes a victim of internal contradictions. No one is immune from such situations, but sensitive, indecisive people, with low self-esteem, who find it difficult to make up their minds or defend their rights, especially suffer from them. To avoid intrapersonal conflict, you need to understand what it is and how you can deal with it.

Who conflicts within the individual

Based on the concept itself, one can guess that the contradictions that lead to a conflict situation do not exist in the outside world, but “inside” the human personality. Thus, intrapersonal conflict is a phenomenon that is characterized by the emergence of two opposing forces, be they opposing feelings, thoughts or emotions, in a person.

People are contradictory creatures. One person can have many interests, views, beliefs, and emotions. You can want something very much and at the same time be afraid of something.

On a note. Typically, a person (we are talking about a mentally balanced, healthy and mature person) copes with the beliefs “warring in the head” and is able to share desires and feelings. An adult also knows how to set priorities, distinguish “bad” from “good,” and resist temptations.

All this helps the individual to competently conflict with himself, when “one part” wants ice cream, and the “second” objects, “it’s minus fifteen outside,” and both resolve the intrapersonal conflict and come to an agreement to eat a portion of the treat in a cafe or at home.

However, if a person suffers from low self-esteem or experiences increased emotional stress, and is also dissatisfied with life, he is more likely to fall victim to internal contradictions, but will not find a way out and will not be able to make a constructive decision.

Intrapersonal conflict manifests itself in three areas:

cognitive, when a person finds himself in a psychological dead end;

emotional, when a person lives in a joyless, gray world and does not see the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”;

behavioral, when a person unconsciously underestimates the results of his activities and is not satisfied with either life or work in general.

There are characteristic features that indicate the emergence or existence of an intrapersonal conflict:

It is associated with negative emotions and reactions.

All contradictions between feelings, aspirations, goals and needs arise due to the pressure of external factors.

The interaction of the “participants” in the conflict leads to the fact that a person gives up and does not look for a way out, but simply gives in to the situation, choosing a greater good or a lesser difficulty.

Why does a person conflict with himself?

Contradictions that lead to the manifestation of intrapersonal conflict arise for the following reasons:

The individual is unable to come to an agreement with himself, does not understand what he wants, or does not take into account the power of the prevailing circumstances.

A person’s position in a social group obliges him to do something, but the person himself is not ready and cannot meet the expectations of others.

The inability of an individual to “take” a prescribed place in society as a whole.

If a person cannot make a constructive decision regarding himself, most likely, different elements of his personality are “at war” with each other. Psychiatrist Eric Berne in his book Transactional Analysis called them:

Inner child. This part is responsible for desires.

Inner parent. Serves as a critic and supervisor.

Inner adult. The part that integrates the desires of the Child and the criticism of the Parent, analyzes the expediency of “I want” and “need” and makes a responsible decision that satisfies both: the principled relative and the foolish offspring.

Important. If any one part of a person is suppressed or amplified (inflated) (say, a capricious Child overpowered a poor Parent, or a tyrant Parent suppressed a playful Child), the Adult will not be able to come to a compromise, and a distortion will form in the personality structure, which will lead to to acute intrapersonal conflict.

External reasons also often lead to internal conflict situations. For example, the boss is late for an important meeting due to a traffic jam, or the team does not accept his authority and refuses to see him as a senior leader.

Often historical circumstances, the economic system, and laws lead to intrapersonal conflict. For example, a person with the spirit of an entrepreneur cannot do what he loves and open his own business, because corruption is rampant in the country, or an economic crisis has struck, which overnight reduced the real value of his savings. Among other things, the prevailing order may run counter to the inner world of the individual.

How does a person conflict with himself?

Intrapersonal conflict can be classified very conditionally, because most often it is initiated by many reasons and conditions:

Motivational is manifested in the desire to possess and the desire for security, the impossibility of choosing between two goods.

Moral, when personal attitudes contradict moral ones, and a compromise between duty and desire seems impossible.

Unfulfilled desires, which is perfectly illustrated by the toast parable from the film “Prisoner of the Caucasus” “So let’s drink so that our possibilities coincide with our desires.”

Adaptation, which is characterized as a person’s inability to “get used to” the environment, to get used to a new environment.

Inadequate self-esteem, when dissonance arises between the perception of oneself and one’s abilities and personality claims.

Role-playing, which arises from the inability to perform several roles at the same time. Let's say, to be a caring father who spends all his time with his family, and a leader in his professional field who devotes himself to work. Such a conflict can be initiated by one’s own reluctance or inability to conform to any role imposed from the outside.

Need to know. Interpersonal conflict can also arise between needs and social norms. The personality is torn between “want” and “can”, “should” and “can” or “must” and “want”. The manifestation of intrapersonal conflict is characterized not only by depression and loss of strength, but also by euphoria, sudden changes in mood, and regression.

How to come to terms with yourself

A positively resolved intrapersonal conflict is a serious impetus for development and growth. Often a person rushes “between”, unable to choose, and then becomes a victim of neurosis, which can:

lead to the development of psychosis and other mental disorders;

push a person to commit suicide.

Ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts are methods of self-control that a developed mature personality should have. Infantile people often resort (unconsciously) to defense mechanisms, while an adult will prefer to face his anxieties, contradictions and desires in order to better understand himself and come to terms with himself.

Whatever way a mature person chooses to resolve an intrapersonal conflict, she is responsible for the decision made:

“Let go” of the situation, do nothing, just “leave” and continue living. The founder of Gestalt psychotherapy, Frederick Perls, derived a formula for such behavior in a short “Gestaltist prayer.” “I did not come into this world to meet your expectations, and you are not here to meet mine. I do my job, you do yours. We met, and if we can help each other, that's great. If not, nothing can be done about it.”

Sometimes it is useful to change your attitude to a situation, to reconsider your views.

The energy that was generated during the intrapersonal conflict can and should be sublimated and redirected.

Often fantasy and separation from reality help to cope with contradictions.

You can consciously influence emotions and desires by suppressing them.

Correction of attitude towards oneself, which leads to an adequate perception of one’s “I” and mitigation of intrapersonal conflict.

Compromise or “the wolves are fed, the sheep are safe”

One of the most important ways to cope with intrapersonal conflict is to compromise with yourself. This is a truce pact when different parts of the personality find a solution that satisfies everyone. It's not always possible. However, a constructive solution is what must be strived for in the process of resolving internal contradictions.

Compromise is wanted and achieved by a mature personality who is able to put thoughts, desires and duty in order. To do this you need:

Be able to listen and hear yourself.

Be open and honest not only with yourself, but also with others.

Accept the manifestations of all your desires, even if they are shocking and seem “illegal.”

Recognize your right to be different, bad, spoiled.

Realize that for every decision, the one who makes it is primarily responsible.

Understand that every action has consequences for which a person is responsible.

What are the consequences of intrapersonal conflict?

If the situation is resolved successfully, then the person (maybe not immediately, but over time) will feel satisfied, complete and happy. He will have a lot of energy freed up, which he can use at his own discretion.

Unresolved intrapersonal conflicts have many negative consequences:

A person reaches a dead end and stops developing.

It is difficult for individuals to organize themselves.

Personal effectiveness declines.

A person is accompanied by stress, anxiety, and becomes suspicious.

Prerequisites for dependencies appear.

A person who is unable to resolve a conflict may tend to isolate, become rude, and respond inappropriately to criticism and the behavior of others. All this will lead to frustration and neurosis.

Advice. If you cannot resolve internal contradictions on your own, you may need the help of a qualified psychologist or psychotherapist.

A person who has found a way out of a contradictory situation wins a victory over himself. He hardens, becomes more resistant to influence (external or internal), gains invaluable experience, learns to confront himself, thereby preventing the emergence and development of possible conflicts.