Name: Anastasia
I have never felt so bad. Friends turned away from me, parents do not support, but only make it worse. I am alone, in a strange city, I have no friends here, no one. I don’t like the specialty that I chose, I generally keep quiet about my stream and the group.
I was not going to enter the best university in the country (Kyiv, Shevchenko National University), they took me on a budget, and I didn’t think much, everyone only dreams about it, here in Ukraine. Also, the faculty is prestigious. But I just can't study here. I have been crying every day for three months now. I've never been so pissed off. I'm alone, in a strange world that I just hate.
I do not know what to do. My parents are screaming at me. Like, what a fool you are, study and that's it. And I can't go there! It's hell for me!
And it's so bad, and half a year ago everything was so good, I'll die in this hell.
What should I do?((
Transfer? Is it possible? I'm ready for anything! At least go to the Mac to work.
It's very hard for me to study, I can't... All 4 years of study I want to quit studying, and all the time something stops me. The first 2 years everything was fine, but then the state of health worsened, it became harder to study. I feel very uncomfortable, my ability is lower than the ability of most students. I don’t have the strength, it’s hard for me to do all my homework, my poor health does not give me the opportunity to attend all the couples. But I need to study, because without education I have either a boarding school for the disabled or the hard life of an alcoholic, living on occasional income. I need to prove to my parents that I am capable of something, that I am also a person and a person. I don’t know what will happen to me if I am expelled, I won’t be able to survive this. After all, everyone needs a red diploma from me, as they needed a medal at school ...
I'm just torn by this problem, I don't know what to do. Where to go? Is it worth it to continue a worthless life? After all, I can’t do anything, I don’t have any talent and abilities! And I am ashamed to wash toilets or trade in a stall.
After all, studying is the only thing I have or, at least, had ... And now there is none of that, and I deserve a place in the garbage ...
Support the site:
A., age: 21/18.10.2010
Responses:
A red diploma is nonsense, as well as the opinion of others.
Your life is in your hands, and these are not empty words.
You live not for relatives, but for yourself and the family that you will definitely have. So that in 20 years your daughter or son will not write on this site about misunderstanding and lack of a place in life.
Flying out of a university is actually not so easy, there is always the opportunity to retake and improve, which means that you will have an education.
As a recruiter, I can say that the first thing they look at when applying for a job is not a diploma, but work experience. Therefore, I will give you this advice: no matter how difficult it is to study, get a job right now, transfer to an evening or correspondence course, and go to work.
See how your life will change.
Olga, age: 34 / 10/18/2010
Girl, believe that a red diploma will not increase your self-esteem. You try so hard to please other people that you don’t take into account your desires at all.
You have studied for 4 years, so you will succeed further. Absolute mediocrity does not happen, God generously slept on everyone, you just heard enough of someone's opinions about you and think that you are worthy only of garbage. In vain. You are a unique person who has born God and you have talents, just stop blaming yourself and spreading rot, and look at yourself with the eyes of love, listen to your heart, ask the Lord to show you your talents. You have them.
You know, the Bible says: ask and it will be given to you. Ask the Lord to give you the strength and wisdom to study to the end. Go to the Lord, give all your worries and anxieties to Him, He will definitely take care of you in a way that no one in your life has taken care of you. Trust Him and you will succeed.
Aleana, age: 40 / 10/18/2010
Oh, right, it’s scary to listen to. Why did you immediately go to wash the toilets. Or worse, become an alcoholic. Well, firstly, you need to figure out why you feel like this. Maybe elementary overwork, lack of vitamins, or some hormonal problems. So you need to solve them. Sometimes it’s quite simple. Parents don’t need to prove anything. You need to talk to them and complain about problems. I think they will trample without your red diploma than to actually teach a crippled child. If it comes to that, then sometimes people with higher education wash the toilets and drink too much, and people without education are generally engaged in quite decent activities. Moreover, it is never too late to learn. talents and special abilities are generally rare. If you already received a medal, then at least you are a capable student. Assiduous. It's just that you have an excellent student complex. after all, they really expect a lot from them, but as a rule, excellent students and memorizers in universities often do not study very well, and three students suddenly pull ahead. It's just that some people act according to their profile, and some lose interest or are initially indifferent to this specialty. There is no tragedy. Even if you pick up triples. Take care of your main health. I'm sure that you are exaggerating everything. Studying at a university is not easy for everyone.
Love, age: 31 / 10/18/2010
Hello.!
You have already been written here that you do not need to take into account someone else's opinion so that it guides you through life. Life is yours. Choose a profession - you. Learn - you.
If you don't like your chosen profession, change it. Now or after graduation.
If you do not cope with the tasks, feel lethargic and weak - a signal to start playing sports and drinking vitamins. there is nothing irreparable in your situation.
You deserve not a place in the garbage, but the place that you define for yourself. This is your life. You are able to live it with dignity.
Dusya, age: 29/19/10/2010
Precious A.. Everything you say is inspired by your parents, they set the bar too high for your still fragile soul. The value of a person and his life is not in achievements, the value is in the fact that you exist and you are valuable to the Lord. Even if your parents renounce you, He will not renounce you, He is your creator - this is written in the gospel.
I also demanded high achievements from my children, especially from my daughter: a certificate of 4.5 points, knowledge of three languages, she entered the most prestigious university (I wanted this). However, due to depression, she wanted to die, swallowed Diphenhydramine. I was in such a state that I didn’t care, only she would have the desire to live. She transferred to another university, studied somehow, but graduated. Most importantly, our relationship has changed, understanding has appeared in the family, we began to understand each other, all thanks to the knowledge of the truth and faith in Jesus Christ. Nothing on earth has value without His love, everything is perishable, only what is in our soul is valuable, and it is eternal. Seek the Lord, I love you precious.
G., age: 49 / 10/19/2010
Hello, A (sorry, I don't know your name).
What are the learning difficulties? Maybe it's not about your low abilities - especially since everything was in order in the first years, but about some other things? Pay attention to the daily routine (learning and writing something at night is extremely inefficient, then exhaustion and fatigue set in - I know from my own experience), spend more time outdoors, eat more vegetables and fruits, cottage cheese, nuts. Consult a doctor about feeling unwell - perhaps you will be prescribed some stimulating drugs.
Your parents are worried about you, and they need, first of all, that you are happy, that you are adapted to life - and not a red diploma. These are just estimates, and they are not a guarantee of a normal device in life. Try now to find a job in your specialty - practice will give you much more than just cramming.
In terms of expulsion - universities have a fairly flexible system of work, there is the possibility of retakes, academics, etc. - and the university itself is not interested in expelling students. You are already a person and a person, and this does not depend on grades or work. And you simply haven't discovered the talents in yourself yet... - there are no mediocre people.
All the best to you!
Julia, age: 23 / 10/19/2010
Dear A!
This stage of your life is a test. You, like your parents, take your studies very seriously, and failures in this area are certainly frustrating... However, if you figure it out, you successfully passed all the previous stages of education (tests): a medal at school - to get it, you need to work very hard and you did a great job with it! For four years of study, you want to quit your studies and still study - you overcame that too! You have health problems - and you do not quit your studies, you still go to the goal! Only a Personality, only a Man, is capable of such a thing. Temporary difficulties arise along the way, it seems to you that you no longer have the strength ... But, I assure you, you CAN even overcome expulsion. (Firstly, there is always the opportunity to recover! Secondly, if you have health problems, you can take an academic leave. Thirdly, the temporary absence of couples will open up new opportunities - improve your health, find a job.). Everything that is happening to you now happened to other people and they came out victorious. Keep fighting and after overcoming all the difficulties, your life will return to normal, joy, happiness, and success will appear! Hold on, and everything will definitely work out!
Vera, age: 25 / 23.10.2010
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For several years now, school graduates have been trying to discourage en masse from studying to become lawyers-economists, systematically reducing the number of budget places for these specialties. The country, they say, needs doctors, teachers and engineers, not managers. This was confirmed by the new monitoring of the employment of graduates, conducted by the Ministry of Education and Science: almost 40% of lawyers and about 20% of economists do not find work in the first year after graduation. This is not the case in any other specialty. And the “next generation” quickly reoriented itself.
School graduates carried certificates and money to technical and pedagogical universities. And those, in turn, began to raise the bar. To enter one of the leading pedagogical universities in the country, you need to score at least 240 USE points in total in three subjects (according to the results of 2015). Recall that universities have the right to set the minimum passing scores and the list of entrance tests (indicated on the website). Only 3-4 subjects (required the Unified State Examination in the Russian language, a specialized subject and one or two to choose from a university or a creative competition (in sports, music, design, etc.). Less is possible only for residents of Crimea for places allocated for them by the university "This year, we have increased the USE minimum in social studies - from 42 to 45 points," says Olga Knyazeva, executive secretary of the admission committee of the Moscow State Pedagogical University.- As always, the biggest competition at the Faculty of Foreign Languages. The popularity of the profession of a speech therapist, educator, primary school teacher, defectologist has sharply increased - there are vacancies for them in schools and kindergartens, or you can get a job as a tutor in a rich family. The demand for physical education teachers has grown.”
In engineering universities, applicants are storming fashionable information and nanotechnologies. “Last year, the highest passing scores were for applied computer science and mathematics, electronics and nanoelectronics, up to 20 people applied for a place, I think the trend will continue,” shares Alevtina Chernikova, Rector of NUST MISIS. “This year, the minimum passing score has increased from 200 to 210.” However, those who scored an average of about 240 USE points in three subjects have real chances to enter a good technical university. To study in the capital's medical school, you need to have a minimum of 260 (in obsolete terms, "five" in all subjects) - this was last year the minimum score enrolled in the Second Medical - RNIMU them. Pirogov.
“Despite statements that there are too many lawyers and economists, the competition for these areas will still be high. Moreover, in the most prestigious specialties, almost all places can again, as in previous years, be occupied by beneficiaries and winners of the Olympiads. This is jurisprudence, foreign regional studies, international relations, warns Maxim Nazarov, Vice-Rector, RANEPA. “In addition, there is a great demand for complex programs with in-depth study of languages, mathematics, economics, etc.”
Universities lure smart people with big scholarships. “For the guys who passed the Unified State Examination with high scores, we have planned additional scholarships - up to 30,000 rubles a month, because a high-quality applicant in the future increases the recognition of the university around the world,” says Vladimir Filippov, Rector of RUDN University. At MISiS, freshmen with a USE score of 230 and above will receive 20,000 monthly in addition to regular academic scholarships.
Looking for brains
Some universities act more cunningly - they obviously recruit more students than state-funded places, with the expectation that the less smart ones will drop out in the process of studying. The percentage of deducted after the 1st course can reach 30%. Because USE scores and even victories in Olympiads are not at all an indicator of the ability of a school graduate to study at a university.
“Children have the wrong guidelines: the child studies to enter, and not to get an education,” believes Alexander Shevkin, mathematics teacher. - A teacher at Moscow State University recently told me a story. Somehow, two first-year students approached her with tears in their eyes and complained that they had passed the exam with 100 points, but they did not understand the professor's explanations. The school is set to train students for the exam. Children, along with their parents, are afraid that they will not pass and will not enter, teachers are afraid that due to low USE scores, their salaries will be reduced. And instead of teaching mathematics properly, to think independently, they are taught to solve typical problems. As a result, the student does not understand the professor. And almost the entire 1st year is spent on relearning and relearning what was poorly done at school.
It is no coincidence that leading universities conduct their own additional exams. They want to select the guys according to their ability to learn in their profession. The exam does not select anywhere. That is why children apply for several professions at once - both for a dentist and a veterinarian, no matter where they take them. This is terrible! What kind of a dentist would he be if he agreed to be a veterinarian as well? And what kind of a veterinarian will he be if he dreamed of being a dentist all his life, but he has to pull the veterinarian's strap?
Our education reformers are taking the worst of the West. There they cannot fundamentally teach children in the way that Soviet school teachers have always been able to, and they teach narrow skills, in a fashionable way - competencies. Now, with the help of the Unified State Exam, we have brought education to the point where children learn only what they need to take at state exams. It is necessary to reorient education towards Russian interests, and not towards the interests of our “well-wishers” from across the ocean.”
In this article, I will be happy to recall my student days and share the experience of five long years. Dedicated to all students!
A curious situation is emerging - there are millions of students in the country, most of them experience the same problems and difficulties from year to year, and there is practically no information on how to deal with them on the Web. A dozen pages found through Google enlighten students on how to properly prepare for exams and talk to a teacher - that's all! As if student life is limited to exams… Rather, on the contrary, exams occupy a very insignificant place in a student’s life: “Students live happily from session to session.”
(Although: I also managed to find a translated article of a different kind, stuffed with nonsense about and)
Therefore, writing an article about how to achieve success in a university and in general how to make sure that five (someone has six) years of study does not go down the drain is simply necessary.
Let's get started.
Tip number zero. I'm starting from scratch, because the advice is addressed to high school graduates and applicants. Usually, at the end of the 11th grade, schoolchildren begin to go into a natural fever: pass the final exams (well, the Unified State Examination), squeeze into the university ... The motto of these days is “just to enter, it doesn’t matter where.” This is an extremely harmful and wrong approach. At the age of 17, few people think about the importance of choosing a place of study - but in vain, because it has a strong effect on the rest of their lives. Therefore, I invite applicants (if they are reading the article) to answer a few questions:
1. Why am I going to enter this university? .What do I expect from my studies?
2. What will I do after graduation? How will the knowledge or acquaintances that I received at this university help me in my studies?
3. Where would I begin to enter if I knew exactly what I would do?
4. Where should I go, given my answers to the previous three questions?
tip number one. So, you entered a university, studied there for the first week, no longer confuse the names and patronymics of teachers and are aware of where you can intercept a piece between couples. Wonderful! Now it's time to stop and think. For simplicity, here are the questions again:
1. What has changed in my attitude towards this university? What new (and important) did I learn about him?
2. What can this university give me in terms of knowledge? How and where are its graduates settled?
3. What can this university give me besides knowledge? Dating and connections? Social work experience? The start of a scientific career?
It is important that you answer these questions as early as possible and determine the main thing as honestly as possible: how studying here relates to yours. Very often, a student comes to the realization that he slightly missed the mark when choosing a university or faculty. Very often he understands that study is futile. Do not hide from such thoughts. You should always be fully aware of the situation.
Tip number two. Your further actions depend on the answer to the questions in the previous paragraph. Here are some of the most likely routes:
Situation A: you understand that studying at this university can really give you enough practical and theoretical knowledge, in senior years students undergo internships and practice in good organizations and it definitely makes sense to study here. Well, then it's simple. Choose the subjects you will need for work after graduation and understand them well. On the rest, pay exactly as much attention as necessary so that there are no extra “tails”.
Situation B: Everything is exactly the opposite.
- if you spent a lot of time (you found that the university does not suit you in the 1st year) - enter another. Better to lose a year than 5.
- if the time has passed in order, then perhaps changing the place of study will not be too reasonable.
Tip number three. What to do if the university does not suit you, and it is too late to change it?
At one time (unfortunately, it was already in the 4th year ...) I sketched out for myself the following program of action:
1. Minimize the loss of time at the university.
2. Squeeze out everything you can from your native university, since you can’t get good knowledge.
3. Forget that I am a student and find myself another, more useful thing, to which I will devote maximum time and effort.
4. To perceive studying at the university as a training of ingenuity (to take exams without preparation), (to persuade especially evil teachers to let go of the class) and (to sit on compulsory classes).
All this, in principle, turned out well for me. Here are some examples.
Time Loss Minimization:
- at the beginning of the semester, I made a rating of teachers - how much you can skip without consequences - and skipped accordingly;
- having a little cold, I ran to the clinic, made tired eyes and complained of weakness - and as a result I received the coveted certificate, allowing me to do my own thing for a week or two;
- unlike lectures, I attended seminars carefully and talked to them without shutting up - which, with some skill, is quite simple. In teachers, the “active student” lever clicked in their heads and it became easy to press the “set the machine” button;
- in my fifth year (late, late…) I took up a little, as it is now called, social activities - another excellent excuse appeared for all occasions.
Squeezing everything you can out of the university:
- increased scholarship - of course (automatic machines and a beautiful record book helped);
- trip to the south
- acquaintances and connections.
Over the last two courses, I also worked in places 6-7, snatched off a dozen certificates and diplomas in various competitions outside the university, managed to start (and fail, which is natural) my kind of business project, as well as “pump”, the ability to communicate and public speaking, time management. The only thing I regret is that I started truancy too late and was an exemplary student for too long. That would start the course on the second! Eh!
In general, the main advice for students that I would like to give does not shine with originality, but it will probably be the only correct one:
This tip: be mindful of your studies. Always be clear about your long-term goals and stick to them, even if it gets in the way of your studies. Your goals are more important!
The following articles may also be helpful:
p.s. Didn't notice how I dashed off a huge post. The topic of effective, proper study at the university, of course, has not been exhausted by him, so perhaps I will return to it. Stay in touch!
Interesting? Healthy? to be aware! Source - when copying materials, an active indexed link is required!
“How did you leave? Why?!" - I hear this phrase every time I try to answer the question of why I am not at the university now. “Something bad must have happened to you, because of which you had to leave, right?” Of course, after all, no one just leaves the university, right? Or not?
Realizing that, apart from such a reaction, my departure will not cause anything else, I try not to answer this question or avoid discussions, because everyone considers it their duty to tell me that I did wrong. Over time, I realized that there is no point in being ashamed of my decision, especially if I think that I did 100% right.
Therefore, I want to tell you why the university in its present state is not what I, you and your children need.
We want to be like the rest
Think about what happens in schools to children who wear glasses or try to do well in school. At best, they will not be accepted into the company of "cool", at worst, the main goal of this company will be to make their life unbearable. But, of course, as they like to say? "They're kids, they don't understand." Well, they don't understand.
So, from childhood, we want to be like the rest. What do "everyone else" do after school? Trying to get into the university. Preferably on a budget. If this succeeds, the maximum goal is achieved. If not, then parents will have to spend thousands of dollars on your education, or choose a simpler educational institution - a technical school or a fashion college, which, in fact, is the same technical school.
The time begins, which is spoken of as the best time in a person's life, meaning by this, of course, not studying. But rather, that you will drink (a lot), communicate with the opposite sex and sometimes go to classes, trying to sit out at least half. After re-reading this paragraph, I realized that it does not sound so bad.
And for most, that's enough. They forget about how much time goes into the void, how much money is spent on studies that do not bring any benefit. For example, I did not study at the most expensive university in Ukraine, and during this time 7,000 dollars were spent on my studies alone. I think this is the biggest investment my parents have made in me. Was she justified? Alas.
University studies are not the only way
How many courses could I take with that money? Courses of real professionals who have devoted decades to their work, who love what they do and are ready to share useful knowledge. How many books could you buy? I will finish with banal questions, you already know the answer.
Studying at a university no longer guarantees professional success in the future.
One reason for this is motivation. When we do what we like, we are guided by . That is, we like the process itself. Money, encouragement or praise fade into the background. After all, you see, it is much more pleasant to do business and enjoy not only the reward, but also the process itself.
Unfortunately, the university is going in a completely different direction. Study implies boredom, monotony and lack of interest, all for the sake of an ephemeral number in a paper magazine. And if these ephemeral numbers are good, then in five years you can get an ephemeral red plastic piece of paper. This is worth living for.
This is akin to when you drink cola for a long time and forget that you can quench your thirst with water. Or when you drive a car for a long time and forget that you can walk from work to a cafe. It's the same with the university.
We forget that the learning process itself, and then the work itself, can be pleasant.
I have a friend who also dropped out of university. Four years of study at the university made it possible to understand that he wanted something else. In his case, it's design. Only six months of intensive self-study, several unsuccessful attempts to get a job, and he still works as a web designer. This is not yet the company of his dreams, but definitely one of the steps on the road to it. This example is very inspiring.
It does not mean that you should close yourself in a room and not contact other people. Seminars, conferences, people with similar interests - you have a huge number of ways to communicate with interesting people, and most importantly - learn. When you train not for a reward in the future, but simply because you enjoy it, the process itself is insanely addictive.
I was finally able to articulate what I dislike the most about university:
There is no passion in studying at the university.
Moreover, if you come there with your passion, it will surely be taken away from you. Universities in their current state kill the desire to learn. This even applies to medicine, which the defenders of standard education are so fond of citing as an example. In my city, the medical university has long earned a reputation as the most bribe-taking educational institution. Keep this in mind when you come to an appointment with a young specialist.
Wouldn't it be more logical to choose interesting subjects yourself? But no, the financier needs to be taught philosophy, the physician - the history of economic thought, and the architect - chemistry. Broadening one's horizons - that's what it's called? I do not want to expand my horizons with useless knowledge multiplied by the subjectivity of the teacher.
By learning on your own, you can choose your own path.
Do you want to learn English? You can create a program that includes watching movies in the original with subtitles, reading English books, learning new words from articles on the Internet, and using Duolingo. This is much better than sitting with Golitsinsky's textbook every day, from which nausea attacks begin to appear over time.
With the advent of services such as, it becomes clear that something needs to be changed in the current education system. Self-education makes it possible to feel that your knowledge is useful and useful in real life. You will not always go forward, sometimes you will have to radically change something, but it is still a thousand times better.
Getting a university degree is no longer a safe and far from the most interesting way of life. Don't try to be like others, be special and forget that university is the only way. There are others.
